Love, and Other Drugs
by sailormoon19
Summary: Brittany moves into a new apartment in New York after highschool, no family, nowhere else to go, and no idea how much trouble her new housemate is about to cause. Badass!Santana.
1. Chapter 1

**This idea has been swimming around in my head for a while now and I just needed to get it down so I hope you like it!**

**Don't own glee.**

**Brittany POV**

The sun is hidden behind the dark clouds encasing New Yorks skyscrapers and it casts shadows over the busy streets, but that's ok because the gloomy weather kind of reminds you of home, back in Lima, and somehow it makes you feel a little less lonely in this big city. And then you really feel at home when it starts to rain.

You're only dressed with jeans and a light t-shirt so you decide to shield yourself form the rain by walking under the over-hanging roof tops of the shops and cafés you pass. You know that it would have been a hell of a lot easier just to take the bus, and you would have been saved from the rain and the wind, but public transport kind of confuses you so you decided against it.

You glance down at your wrist to check the time but notice you're not wearing your watch. Probably left it back in lima. You curse yourself gently because now you have absolutely no idea what time it is, you're probably going to be late to meet this girl and then she'll be mad at you, and she might not want to let you live with her. You can't screw this up.

You start to walk a little faster and you feel kind of weird, like everybody should be staring at you but they're not, probably because they're all walking superfast also, you wonder for a second where everyone is going but that slips from your mind when a cab drives past and splashes water through the air. The splash misses you by an inch but it does get the suitcase you've been dragging behind you ever since you got off the train. You want to yell at the cab for wetting the thing that holds all of your possesions but you don't get the chance because when you look up it's already two blocks ahead.

You take a deep breath and pull out a crinkled up piece of paper from your back pocket. You look over the address once more and then you realise you have absolutely no idea where you are. Everyone's moving so fast and the streets are so noisy that you just need a moment to think but there's nowhere to stop. You're pretty sure if you stopped not only would you be late but about six people would run into your back.

So you keep walking and you try not to think about the droplets of rain that keep dropping on your head through the cracks between shops. After walking for another few blocks you finally look up from the pavement when a car beeps its horn right next to you before driving off again. You jump a little, and nearly knock into someone, apologising as you do, but you look up in a daze and thankfully spot the street sign you've been searching for. With a little skip in your step you race towards it.

You don't even notice the rain anymore because your eyes are trained on the buildings in front of you, trying to decipher which apartment building will hopefully be your new home. The photos online showed that it looked a little small but it was all you could afford and they wanted someone to move in straight away so it was perfect. The girl on the phone seemed nice enough, talked a lot, but she seemed excited for you to come and check out the place. To be honest it didn't really bother you what the place looked like or who lived there, you just wanted a place to call home.

When you finally found the building you were looking for you're so excited that you found it you don't even mind that the plain grey exterior which began to blend in with the darkening clouds. Instead you jump up the few steps to the entrance and push in number 7 on the intercom, just like the girl had said. A few seconds later you're buzzed in.

When you get to the lobby, which was actually just a very small room with a wall of mail boxes on the right side, you notice a sign saying the elevator was out of service. Frowning, you pick up your suitcase, for once thankful that it doesn't have much in it, and head for the stairs. Apartment 7 is on the third floor so it doesn't take you too long to get there and then you're knocking on the door and once again looking to your wrist anxiously to check the time, frowning again when you see it bare.

Suddenly the door opens up and a little short and petite brunette is standing before you and smiling.

'Hi, sorry I'm late!' You blurt out because you really don't want to make a bad first impression, but then you think maybe a sudden outburst of energy wasn't the best way to go.

'Oh, uh, you're actually early so it's fine.' She smiles and you breathe a sigh of relief. 'You're Brittany I take it? I'm Rachel, we spoke on the phone.'

'Oh well, nice to meet you in person.' You smile back.

'You too.' Rachel laughs and gestures for you to come in. You walk in eagerly, taking a second to let your eyes glance over the apartment. The only thing you can think of is that it's pretty boring and dark, but it is late in the afternoon and the sun's going down so that could be it. 'Would you like something to drink?'

'Oh no thank you.' You say and walk further into what you assume is the living room. 'I only really have a few questions to ask.' You say nervously and Rachel seems a little taken aback. Something tells you she's probably been cleaning and going over what she's going to say to you for the last hour or so. But you're not really interested in hearing all that. You just want somewhere to dump your suitcase and a place to rest for a moment. 'Is the rent still $160 a week?'

'Yes, and the bond is $640.' Rachel answers quickly, like she's rehearsed it.

You nod your head because you're pretty sure you have enough to pay the bond and this weeks rent and then you can just work it out from there. 'How soon can I move in?'

Rachels head whips back in shock and confusion and she kind of just stares at you for a while, you guess she's trying to figure out if your serious or not, but you are, and eventually she works that out.

'Uh…well, as soon as you want I guess.' She shrugs with a smile.

'So now?' You ask quickly before she can take her words back.

'Today?' She asks with raised eyebrows. She looks around the place for a second before nodding her head with a huge smile. You think she must be just as excited as you are that you're moving in, it's going to be so much fun living with her.

'Um, yeah why not.' She says excitedly. 'Would you like me to show you around first and then we can go through the tenancy agreement?'

'Okay.' You say and you have to bite your lip a little to stop yourself from smiling too big.

'Alright well, we're standing in the living room, I know it's not much but with only two people living here it's more than enough.'

You take a better look around and really for the first time take in everything about the apartment. The living room is only big enough for a two seater couch a small coffee table and a pretty big tv. The carpet is a dark gray which you like because you're a pretty messy eater, and dad used to always make you clean up after a meal.

'Through here is the kitchen.'

The kitchen consisted of a small bench with two stools on the outside, a stove and oven, a sink, and a fridge. The walls were a kind of mustard colour and the paint was visibly chipping in many areas but it didn't really bother you, you could always paint over it.

'Then if we come down this hallway we have your room.'

You do a little jump of excitement at those words and follow Rachel eagerly to the room. Your smile kind of falls though when she opens the door and the room is bare. It's big enough to fit a double bed and some drawers, maybe queen if you're lucky, but the fact that the room has no furniture is saddening. You feel a little stupid for not asking about that.

'The rooms aren't furnished?' You say quietly.

'No you will have to supply your own furniture for your room but you won't have to buy anything for the rest of the house.' Rachel reassures. You nod because that sounds fair, and that's probably how most apartments are, you don't really know, you've never lived out of home before.

'Alright, that sounds okay.' You say, and Rachel seems relieved with your answer so she moves on, leading you from the room.

'So the next door down is Santana's room and right at the end of the hall is the bathroom that you'll share.'

You stop in your tracks when she says Santana because you thought that it was only a two person apartment. Rachel notices you're not following and stops also, glancing at you strangely. Suddenly it dawns on you that maybe it's not Rachel you'll be living with and you start to get a sick feeling in your stomach.

'Santana?' You ask and watch as Rachel gulps nervously but tries to hide it. 'But I thought you…'

'Oh no sweety, sorry for the confusion.' Rachel laughs awkwardly. 'I used to be in your room but I'm moving out, you'll be living with Santana.'

'Um where is she?' You ask because you'd really like to meet this girl, her name sounds exotic and different and you think maybe she might be fun and into weird things like you are.

'She's at work at the moment so I thought since I'm the one moving out I should be the one to sort out a new housemate for her so she doesn't have to keep paying double rent.' Rachel says and smiles like it's not a big deal, and you believe her because she seems pretty nice, afterall she is doing a nice thing for her friend.

'Right.' You say and go to ask a question about Santana but Rachel beats you to it.

'Well, should we go over the agreement?' She asks quickly.

'Yes.' You nod your head because this means you actually have a place now, you have a home again.

Rachel takes you over the agreement for the next half an hour at the kitchen bench, you nod every now and then but you're not really paying attention because you're too busy thinking about this Santana girl, and wondering what she's like. A moment later Rachel is pointing out where to sign and telling you she'll pass everything on to the landlord the next morning.

The next thing you know she is heading towards the door and you realise she doesn't have any stuff with her, perhaps she had already moved out. She opens the door and you go to walk out but then you remember this is your home now so you stop yourself, and like the tables have turned, you hold the door open for Rachel.

'So I'll drop these off tomorrow, and if you just transfer the bond money into that account I gave you sometime tomorrow everything will be done and dusted.'

'I will.'

'Oh and Brittany, don't worry about Santana, she's barely home and when she is she stays in her room so she shouldn't bother you.' Rachel says quickly and waves her hand around like it isn't a big deal. You scrunch up your brow a little because why would she bother you? and you don't really want to be alone all the time, hopefully she's home a lot more than Rachel's letting on.

'Alright, thanks so much for this Rachel.' You smile.

'That's perfectly fine Brittany, now I have to go I'm afraid but give me a call if you need anything okay?'

'Definitely!' You say and wave her goodbye as she walks towards the stairs.

When she's out of sight you close the door gently and spin on your heels, letting your eyes dance across what is now yours. It's not much, but it's home.

You're happy for a moment before you suddenly realise that once again you're all alone. Rachel was a nice distraction for a while but now that loneliness is coming back, and you're all by yourself, in a big city, and it's getting dark…You hope Santana comes home soon.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

You think at least three days go by and you still haven't seen even a glimpse of Santana. You hear her sometimes, but that's not usually a good thing. The last couple of nights you've spent sitting on your bedroom floor, you still don't have any furniture in your room because you can't afford it yet, so you sit on your floor and go through the only photo album your parents owned. A lot of them were baby pictures of you but they varied over all your years and you study each picture, trying to bring back the memories of that day or event. You do this until you finally hear the apartment door swing open and bang shut, usually around one in the morning, sometimes later. It's not that you're waiting up just to hear her, but you can't really sleep unless someone else is in the house, you've always been like this.

You always hear both their voices, first you hear Santana yelling, and then almost instantly you hear a man groaning back at her. The first night you wondered if perhaps they were together by the way they were fighting, and that was answered late in the night when you heard moaning and thumping from the room down the hall. That night you were in such shock that you just laid there, on a small blanket with a pile of your clothes as a pillow, and listened to them have sex. Afterwards you felt like such a creep but there was something about it which made you still and your mind stay focused on the noises voicing from her room. You think maybe it was her voice, it sounded so raspy and fiery. You really wanted to actually see her but the next day she's never awake when you are.

You get up early because once you're awake you can't bare the thought of laying on the floor for any longer. You get up, get dressed, and head out into the streets of New York. The day after you moved in you found your spot easily enough. It was kind of hard to miss times square, but when you saw it, and you saw all the entertainers lining the sides with crowds forming quickly around them, you knew this was where you were supposed to be. It was awkward at first, setting up your own little station, but you managed to find a small amount of space next to a hulla-hooping girl dressed in leopard print spandex. She winked at you when you took of your cardigan and spread it out on the ground in front of you. You didn't have any music with you but that didn't matter because the hulla-hoop girl had hers pumping loud enough for the both of you. So amongst all the chattering, bright lights, and city noise, you close your eyes, feel the beat, and you dance. It feels so good, you haven't really danced since the accident but you wished you had now because it clears your head instantly, and now all you know is the music and the ground beneath your feet.

After a few songs the hulla-hoop girl stops her music which makes you stop suddenly, and she comes over to you. She drops a few quarters on top of your cardigan and you give her a questioning look.

'You have to put some money there at the start of everyday, so people know that's where they give you money.' She smiles. You nod your head and smile back. Now you know that you can come here everyday too, that makes you smile even more. 'You'd think these city folks are smart but they're all sheep, won't give someone money unless someone else thought you were good enough for it.'

'Thank you.' You say. 'Um I'm Brittany.'

The girl smiles at you as she walks back to her station. 'I'm Sugar.'

And then she turns the music back on and she's picking up her hulla-hoops. When you start dancing again you feel a little lighter, maybe because you have someone that might be your friend in days to come. Sugar is an odd name but that only makes you think that she must be sweet as candy, so maybe she'll keep being nice to you.

You danced all day, only leaving when Sugar did, because well, she had the music, and it was kind of lonely without her next to you constantly pulling silly faces and talking to the crowds surrounding her. You even got your own little crowd, a lot of people just walked straight past you without looking up, but some would stop and watch you for a while, before leaving again, some would even drop a few coins onto your cardigan.

At the end of your first day you had made $36. You thought that wasn't too bad and you'd save that so eventually you could buy yourself a bed.

The days to come were much the same, your biggest day was yesterday, earning yourself a nice $58 for the day. Even Sugar was surprised with your effort. You decided to bring your ipod and Sugar was kind enough to put it on her dock every now and then, you always got more attention when you were dancing to your own music so you were glad when she did it.

When it starts to get dark you make the trip back home. That's when you start to feel lonely again, and tonight is no exception. Usually you would stay in your room in preparation for Santana and her boyfriend to come home in a sweep of lust and moans, avoiding any awkward conversations and maybe seeing something you shouldn't, but tonight you just can't take it anymore. You've looked over your photo album so many times you know every detail of every photo, so instead of hiding in your room and waiting for the moment you have to put your ipod in your ears, you sit on the couch in the living room and watch tv.

As you wait out on the couch you can see some signs of living. There's empty bottles of beer on the coffee table and a packet of cigarettes next to them, in the bathroom you know there's a red toothbrush sitting next to your blue one, so you do have a housemate, you've just never seen her.

It's about two in the morning when she finally comes home. You've been watching re-runs of Hogans Heroes for the last two hours, willing yourself not to fall asleep. When you hear the door slam open you almost jump out of your skin.

You see her instantly and you would be lying if you denied that your breath hitched a little as soon as you saw her. Even with her mouth attached to some guys lips and a smoke In the hand that wasn't clutching at the back of his mo-hawk, she looked absolutely breathtaking. Her hair was dark and long, you couldn't see her eyes but you imagined them to be beautiful. She wore short black shorts and a tight black t-shirt with short black lace up boots. You think maybe that was her work uniform because the guy she was attached to was wearing all black as well.

They still haven't seen you as they stumble through the apartment, lips not detaching for a moment. Now you kind of understand how they make so much noise when they come home. You feel like you should say something but once again you're frozen with what's happening around you. Two seconds later they're in Santana's room and you can finally breathe again.

Well, that is until you hear the loud moaning and groaning of the bodies down the hall. You know you definitely can't sleep now so you turn your attention back to the tv, except you're not really watching it because all you can concentrate on is the tone tan legs of your housemate and the way she dragged her boyfriend through the apartment like she needed him so badly it hurt. You felt like maybe you should turn the volume of the tv up louder but when you reach for the remote you find that you are turning the volume down.

Half an hour later Santana's bedroom door flies open and you freeze in your spot on the couch.

'Where are you going?' You hear her boyfriend yell from the bedroom. Well you assume he's her boyfriend, people back home don't usually sleep with people every night unless they're a couple, so they must be.

'Calm your balls, ima turn off the tv.' Santana growls and you can hear her voice quickly moving it's way down the hall and you know it's too late to make it to your room before she see's you, so you just sit there in the dimly lit room with only the light from the tv lighting the room.

'Hurry up, and get my smokes!' The guy yells.

'Fuck you.' Santana mutters under her breath as she walks into the living room. You stay as still as possible as she searches for the remote but then you realise you've got it and you start to breathe a little faster. Soon she's going to see you so you think maybe it would be better if you let her know now that you're here. With a loud gulp you breathe out a shaky greeting.

'Hi.'

You watch as Santana jumps back a little and whips her head around to you. Her eyes are wide and wild, darker then you imagined but that might just be from the lighting.

'Jesus, what the…who the fuck are you?' She asks in shock.

You stutter a little because you're still focused on the colour of her eyes. 'B-brittany.'

'Why the fuck are you in my apartment?!' She spits and takes a step forward. Now she's further in the light of the tv and you can see that she is no longer wearing her work shirt. She's standing before you unashamed in only her short shorts and a black lace bra, rubbing her head roughly. 'Fuck maybe I'm still high.'

'Ah…i-I'm your new housemate, I signed the agreement with Rachel a few days ago.' You explain shakily. You don't know why but this girl is making you nervous.

'That fucking dwarf bitch, she probably told you alllll about me did she?' Santana snaps and leans down to grab the packet of smokes off the coffee table. She then reaches into the back pocket of her shorts and takes out a lighter. You follow her movements but shake your head after a while when you remember she asked you a question.

'Um…n-not really.'

You watch as Santana takes out a cigarette from the packet and places it between her lips before lighting the end. She takes a long breath in like she had been waiting years for that cigarette, and you follow the way her stomach muscles move in and out when she exhales. You're so concentrated on her stomach that she frightens you when she begins to speak again.

'Sorry Sunshine, I'm not into chicks.' She smirks over her cigarette but makes no attempt to cover herself up. It feels like she's teasing you or something and you don't want her to do that so you quickly take your eyes off her body and look back to the tv. You want to say something about you not being into chicks either but for some reason you can't find the right words.

'Oh I wasn't um…' You try to explain but your words get drowned out by a voice calling down the hall.

'Lopez! Come on!' The man yells.

You gaze back to Santana in time to see her roll her eyes and take another drag of her cigarette. You're pretty sure you're not supposed to smoke inside but you don't want to say anything because she has been living here for longer than you, and you don't want to get off on the wrong foot.

You look up and Santana is staring at you curiously, her deep brown eyes hypnotise you for a moment before you see a hint of a smirk etching onto her lips. You gaze away again and feel a blush creep onto your face. You don't know what the hell this girl is doing to you but it's like you have no idea how to act around her just yet, she confuses you.

A second later you see a tan hand come into your line of vision and you look back up to see she is shaking the cigarette packet in front of you like she is asking if you want one. You shake your head. Smoking kills dreams, mom told you that once.

'I don't smoke.'

'Thought so.' Santana smirks and blows a wisp of smoke above her head. She nods her head towards the tv before turning away from you. 'You might wanna turn that up, Puckerman can get loud.'

She goes to walk away but for some reason you feel the need to blurt something out before she leaves. 'I think you're louder.'

You instantly curse yourself when she spins back around with a look of shock on her face. Now she knows you've heard her!

'What?' She questions.

'I m-mean, you just um…like when you're orgasming you seem louder than him.'

No! you just want to slap yourself in the head right now but that would be even more embarrassing so you sit there and watch her face turned from shocked to amused, and you gulp.

'You've listened to us fuck?' Santana asks smugly with a raised eyebrow. Your mouth pretty much drops open at her words. You don't think you've ever heard someone talk like that, your parents would kill you if you ever talked like that.

'No!' You yell and blush a little more by how loud your voice was. 'I just can't really help it, you're not exactly quiet.'

Santana's smirk widens as she takes another drag from her cigarette. The room is really starting to stink of smoke but you don't want to say anything, you just want her to leave so you can breathe again.

'Do you get off on hearing him fuck me?' She asks directly.

'What?' You splutter and feel your face heat up further. 'No!'

You really wish she wasn't blocking the way to your room right now because all you want to do is run away and hide but you can't.

You take once last glance up to her smirking face and she winks at you before leaning forward and putting out her cigarette on the edge of the coffee table.

'Enjoy the show Sunshine.'

**What do you think? Yay or Nay?**

**xx**


	2. Chapter 2

**Ok I would just like to thank everybody that followed and reviewed this story, I'm glad most of you seem to really like it:)**

**Glee4ever123: I know she's being a bitch but there's a reason for her being so guarded, and Brittany being Brittany might be the only one to fix that;)**

**Guest: Thank you so much:)**

**Yeongling98: Thank you! Hope you enjoy this chapter:)**

**ScarlettDancer: I completely understand where you are coming from because I absolutely hated reading fics in second person and would avoid it but then it kind of grew on me and lots of people are writing them now so I thought I would give it a try. I hope it's not too annoying and you can keep reading it but I understand if you don't xx**

**CAROL: THANK YOU CAROL! Xx**

**Triniredster: Glad you like it! :)**

**Magickgdom1989: Thank you for reviewing your wish is my command:)**

**Katiek28: Yeah I could totally see Sugar doing that after highschool haha. There will be lots of interesting Santana and Brittany interaction to come! xx**

You wake up and groan at the dull throb in your lower back. You hope you won't have to sleep on the floor for much longer. You roll around on the floor a little just to stretch out your back before you get up and get yourself ready for a day of dancing.

It's been a week since you met Santana and you've barely seen her since. You stay out in the living room and watch tv at night until she comes home, and when she does you barely exchange a greeting before you're heading to your room to get some sleep. You don't think she minds because she doesn't seem like one to chat for hours about how her day went, anyway she's usually got Puck attached to her face so she wouldn't be able to talk much. Two nights last week she didn't come home at all so you stayed up the whole night waiting for her until about six in the morning when you gave up and let yourself sleep. You had a nightmare both nights.

Last night she came home at eleven which was pretty early for her so you were happy to get a better sleep, even if it still meant you had to endure the sounds coming from down the hall.

So today you get up and you shower, letting the water wake you up from your restless nights. After you finish you rush back to your room in only a towel and you get dressed in your dancing clothes, this pretty much just consisted of blue shorts and a yellow tank top. You head out to your spot which takes you about half an hour to walk to and smile when you see Sugar is already there.

'Heya Brittany!' She yells over her music as you set up. There's only one guy watching her dance but she still puts on a killer show for him. You lay out the cardigan from the first time you set up here because you don't want to confuse anyone by switching up places to put their money.

'Hi Sugar!' you yell back.

Once you've set up, which really doesn't take long at all, you shuffle your feet along the ground until you find the perfect spot, preferably somewhere with no cigarette buds, you see enough of them at home. Sugar's dock is currently blaring Wynter Gorgons 'Dirty talk'. You smile because you know this song, so you sway to the beat for a few seconds before completely losing yourself in the song.

You only ever stop dancing when the song ends and it's only then that you realise people have been watching you. You open your eyes and sometimes there's one person standing there, or a couple, but sometimes there's twenty and that's when you blush and hope that Sugar picks another song quickly so you don't have to stand there awkwardly for much longer.

Some people smile at you before leaving and you smile back to be polite, and some even say good job which you really appreciate and say 'thank you', and then there's those that don't say anything, they don't even smile, they just keep walking like they've seen better. That kind of upsets you sometimes because you don't want to be just another dancer, you want to be more, you want to be the best and have people paying hundreds of dollars to come watch you perform. That's the dream, and you're not going to stop until that happens. You make a mental note that when you get home you're going to practice some new dance moves so you can get them perfect for the crowds tomorrow.

At around one o'clock, you guess, Sugar tells you she's going to get some lunch and asks if you want her to leave the music on. You shake your head and tell her that's ok because you should probably go get some lunch too. You kind of hoped that she would invite you to lunch with her but instead she just nodded, packed up her equipment, slung her hulla-hoops over her shoulder, and she walked away into the crowds, disappearing in an instant.

You pout a little because now you're on your own again and you forgot to ask what time she was getting back, or if she was getting back. When you look down to your feet you see a pile of coins sitting on your cardigan and decide to count them now, maybe if you had enough you could call it a day early. You don't really like the idea of going back to the apartment so early because there's never anything to do but you would rather that then to stay out on the streets by yourself for the rest of the day. You wouldn't be able to walk far because you might get lost, and you can't let that happen in such a big city. You used to get lost all the time back home but in a town where every second family knew who you were it was easy to find your way back to the house, plus your dad was a cop and he had a sixth sense for finding you when you were in trouble.

When you count up the money you've got $40.25. You think that's a pretty good effort for just the morning and you think that instead of putting this into the money for this weeks rent that you should go and buy some groceries. For the last week you've been buying little snacks only when you're hungry in hopes of saving money but you've been dreaming of filling up the fridge and pantry in the apartment with yummy food so you can actually have breakfast before you leave for dancing in the morning. You had a look in the pantry the other day and found a half-eaten box of crackers and a jar of peanut butter. The fridge wasn't much better with a six-pack of beer and two old pizza boxes. Since then it's been your mission to fill it with good healthy food, and today was that day.

You grin to yourself with excitement as you pack up your station and walk quickly through the fast moving crowds. You've started to get into the habit of walking fast to fit in a little bit, and it seems to be working.

You walk back the way you came because every morning you pass the same supermarket and have to will yourself not to look through the windows at all the colourful fruits and vegetables. But today you get to go in and treat yourself. When you walk in the first thing you realise is that it's kind of colder in the supermarket so you stuff all your coins into your pockets and slip on your cardigan.

You grab a cart and can't help but smile at how grown up you feel, you used to help mom with the groceries and wondered in awe how she could remember everything they needed all off the top of her head, it was like she had superpowers or something. You resist the urge to race down the aisles with your feet on the rails of the cart because you want to look like an adult.

You grab a bunch of bananas because they would be good for breakfast, along with some bread, butter, and milk. You got to start with the basics. When you get to the sweets aisle you chuckle as you quickly chuck in a small block of chocolate. Your mom used to curse you every time you snuck chocolate into the cart but you knew later that night she would come into your room with the block and jump under the covers with you, hiding from your dad until all the chocolate was eaten.

When you think you've got everything you make your way to the registers. They all look pretty full but you've got time so you happily stand in one of the big lines. That is until a guy with blonde hair waves for you to come forward to his register. You nod to him and carefully manoeuvre your cart to get to him.

'Hi there, how's your day going?' He asks cheerily. You can't help but smile because his smile is really big.

'It's going really well so far! How's yours?' You ask as he begins to scan your items.

'Well I only just started my shift so it's going great!' He chuckles before looking back to you. 'You know I'd asked you if you fell from heaven but I know you're no Angel.'

You stare at him for a while as he smiles at you. What does that mean? Is that a New York thing to say? Is he saying you're mean?

You don't really know what to say so you just kind of keep staring at him and smile a little because obviously he was trying to make some sort of joke but you don't really get it.

After an awkward moment he finally clarifies. 'Sorry I uh, saw you earlier and you were dancing to Dirty Talk.' He explains with a blush and then begins singing quietly. 'I am no angellll, I like the way you do those things to me.'

He blushes even harder when he finishes and looks around wondering who else heard him do that. You laugh a little and that seems to make him relax.

'Anyway.' He says with an embarrassed chuckle. 'You were really good.'

You feel yourself blush because it's been a while since someones complemented you on your dancing like that and it feels good. He seems to get his confidence back after that and then he's introducing himself to you.

'I'm Sam by the way.' He smiles. 'Sam, I am.'

You smile widely back because you love Dr. Suess, but you don't really want to reveal that to Sam just yet, you only just met him afterall.

'Brittany.' You say back.

'Well Brittany that comes to $62.95.' Sam tells you and you kind of freeze for a second. That can't be right. You want to ask him if he accidently double-scanned anything but when you look at his face he looks so sure. You furrow your brow because you didn't really buy that much, mom used to buy a trolley full of groceries and you only bought like ten things…

'Um…' You say quietly. You can feel your face heat up as you reach for the money in your shorts. You know you have some money at home but that's for rent, and plus it's still at home. 'Uh, I've only got $40 on me at the moment.' You admit weakly.

Sam must see your face because he's quick to reassure you.

'Oh hey that's cool, um. How bout you just get half of this, and then when you have more money on you, you can get the rest?'

You smile and thank him because it was nice of him not to make you feel poor, even though you kind of are, you hope he will still like you after this. You give him your money and he scans through half of the items which comes to $39.

'Nice meeting you Brittany, hope to see you again.' Sam smiles as he hands you the receipt.

'Nice meeting you too Sam.' You say back and grab your grocery bags. Right now you kind of just want to leave before you die of embarrassment.

After meeting Sam and deciding he could be another potential friend you head back to the apartment and put away the groceries. The fridge and pantry are far from full, in fact they're still pretty bare, but it's better than it was. Now It feels slightly more homey.

As you go to check the cost of the items on your receipt so you don't make the same mistake next time, you notice something that makes you smile. Right down the bottom of the receipt is a phone number with the words 'Call me:)' underneath it. Smiling to yourself you pull out your phone and put Sams number in.

_ToSam: Sneaky;)_

It's later that night after you've had a dinner of peanut butter on toast that you get a reply. You think he must have just finished work.

_FromSam: Very stealth:) How'd the rest of your day go?_

You spend the remainder of the night texting Sam and practicing dance moves until your legs start to ache so bad you let yourself go to bed…or floor, either way you just rested for a bit.

Later you hear Santana and her boyfriend get home, and you finally fall asleep.

XXXXXXXXX

The next morning you wake with a smile on your face, even though your back still aches from another night on the hard wooden floor. But talking to Sam all night last night felt good, like someone out there stills cares about you, even if you only just met them.

You continue to smile as you get ready for a day of dancing. You plan on getting a lot more money today so you can go back and see Sam to buy some more food, proving to him that you do have money, and plus you kind of want to see him again.

Once you're dressed you head to the kitchen and open the fridge to get a banana. You scrunch up your face when you find the fridge is bare. Maybe you put them in the pantry?

You open the pantry and find the same result, only half a loaf of bread is left and that half eaten box of crackers.

What the hell?

You look around the apartment for some clue as to what happened. Maybe a bear came in last night and stole all your food? But then you see it. On the coffee table in the living room is the wrapper of the block of chocolate you bought. You feel your heart sink because you were really looking forward to climbing under your blanket and eating that when you have a bad day, you could really use it right now actually.

'Santana.' You mumble and furrow your brow. You would never eat someone elses food unless they offered it to you, surely Santana wouldn't just eat your food…maybe she misunderstood because you put it where her food goes too?

It's not until eleven thirty that night, after a day of angry dancing, that you finally get to confront Santana about it. You had built up a big argument in your head about what you were going to say to her but as you hear the door open and see how she smirks when she spots you sitting on the couch, you kind of forget what you had to say.

She walks confidently into the apartment and plonks herself down on the couch next to you. You're watching America's Next Top Model which is your favourite so you wait until the commercials before you ask Santana about your food, deciding that you would let her unwind a little from work before you question her.

'Puck and I had the munchies.' She shrugs nonchalantly. You furrow your brow because that doesn't explain why she had to eat all of your food.

'Well, are you going to pay for some more food?' You ask, surprising yourself at how angry you sounded.

'Um no, I'm not your fucking mother.' Santana laughs and digs into the back of her work shorts, pulling out a piece of rolled up paper out of a small plastic bag and a lighter. She puts the paper between her lips and lights the end. You're still so mad about the food situation that you don't even question why she's smoking something like that. Instead you roll your eyes and huff because you know you're not going to get the answer you want from her.

'I'm going to bed.' You sigh and stretch up from the couch. Santana blows some smoke in your direction and you want to yell at her but you don't know if she did it on purpose or not so you decide not to say anything.

'Why is it that as soon as I get home you always go off to bed?' Santana smirks before taking a slow drag. 'Do I scare you or something bambi?'

You want to smile because Bambi is one of your favourite movies but then you remember she's doing it to make fun of you so you bite your lip.

'No I like it when you get home, I can't really sleep unless someone else is in the apartment, so I wait up for you.' You say honestly. You want to go to your room but Santana has her legs up on the coffee table and you can't really get past her.

'You wait up for me every night?' Santana asks with what you think might be a look of shock. You're not too sure because while she was talking you were only staring at her lips as the last wisps of smoke escaped them. It made you lick your own lips. 'Some nights I get home at like four in the morning, some nights I don't even come home I stay at Pucks.'

You look back into her eyes and nod your head slowly, remembering the nightmares you have when she's not home. 'Yeah…those nights suck.'

'Why don't you…can't you just invite some friend over so you can go to sleep?' Santana asks. She seems like she's kind of mad at you but you don't know why, shouldn't you be the one mad at her?

'I don't have any friends.' You admit sadly. You thought Sugar was your friend but maybe she's just kind of a work friend since she didn't invite you to lunch yesterday, not that you technically work but…

'None?' Santana laughs through a scoff, taking another drag from that thing she was smoking. 'What kind of loser doesn't have one friend?'

You get kind of offended that she called you a loser. People used to call you that at school and it made you sad. But then you remember Sam.

'Well I kind of met a guy yesterday at the supermarket, Sam, we talked while he served me.' You say proudly and watch as Santana's smirk widens.

'He served you did he?' She smiles. 'Wanky.'

'Yes.' You say back. You don't really understand why that was so funny.

Santana stops laughing when she realises you're not joining her.

'Alright well why don't you invite Mr. Checkout-Chick over for a booty call every once and a while?'

You scrunch up your face and shake your head. You only just met Sam yesterday, that seems a little soon.

'I don't really want to do that…can't I just wait up for you?' You offer with a pout. As much as you like Sam you would never move that quickly with anyone. If someone really likes you, they'll wait as long as it takes. Dad used to always tell you that.

'Well fuck, I don't want to have a fucking curfew just so I can get home early enough to put the kid to bed and no doubt turn on her night lamp!' Santana yells, surprising you at the sudden outburst. You look down to your feet to try and avoid looking into those deep fiery eyes, the ones that draw you in until you can't remember what you wanted to say anymore.

You're not a kid, and it hurts that she thinks you are.

'I don't have a night lamp.' You state quietly, your eyes still trained at the ground. 'And you don't have a curfew, just come home when you're ready like you always do.' You shrug.

It's silent for a moment. You don't look at Santana but you know she's still there because every now and then a new puff of smoke comes into your line of vision and you scrunch your nose up at the smell.

'What's your number?' You eventually hear and your eyes travel back to Santana to see her pulling out her phone. You find yourself smiling a little because that's like the second friend you've made in two days, first Sam wants your number and now Santana. You kind of tilt your head in question though because two minutes ago she was yelling at you and now she wants your number? Santana rolls her eyes before explaining. 'I'll text you if I won't be coming home, that way you can, I don't know, go out and get laid or something.'

You think you should probably be offended by her words but you're not because this means that you no longer have to wait up every night, wondering if every noise is Santana coming home or if it is just another creak of the apartment, and most importantly you'll know if she's even coming home at all. So you quickly put your number in her phone and hand it back.

'Thanks.' You smile widely. You don't understand how all day you had been so damn mad at her and then just like that she had turned your mood around, she didn't even have to get off the couch to do it either.

'Okay well I'm here now so go to bed.' Santana waves you off as she puts out her smoke on the coffee table. You make a mental note to ask her to stop doing that, but right now you're in too good a mood to argue.

You tap her legs to make her move them which she arches a brow to, you only arch yours back and then she's smirking and lifting her legs to let you pass. You giggle in success and throw over your shoulder: 'I thought you said you weren't my mother?'

You don't look back but you can hear Santana's breathy chuckle and you smile to yourself as you walk to your room.

Later you hear Puck come in and you reach over for your ipod.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey guys! So glad to hear people are enjoying this fic!**

**For those of you who don't really like the Puck and Sam bits, just know that I'm trying to keep them to a minimal and they are there for a reason, I'm not just trying to torture you haha**

**Hope you enjoy and please leave a review:)**

The next day you're sitting on your bedroom floor stretching after a long day of dancing and your phone buzzes next to you. You smile because it must be Sam. He's been texting you non-stop for the past few days, but you're surprised to see an unknown number across the screen.

_FromUnknown: I'll be home around eleven. _

You smile because it must be Santana, but you still want to make sure.

_ToUnknown: Santana?_

You stare at your phone for what feels like ten minutes before you finally get a reply.

_FromUnknown: Well done Sunshine;)_

You feel like she's making fun of you again but for some reason just knowing that she had to be thinking about you to text you makes you feel all giddy inside and you can't stop the smile that spreads across your face.

And it goes on like that for the next few nights. Usually you're just getting home from dancing when you get a text from her, it's never anything much, but it's enough to make you smile and at least you've been able to plan your night around what time Santana will be coming home. If she's getting home relatively early you just watch tv for a few hours but if she's going to be later you figure something out to keep you awake, like dancing or taking a really long bath, or watching people on the streets from your bedroom window and making up stories about their life, that's a fun game.

Santana only ever says a 'goodnight' to you when she comes home because she must see how tired you are each night, but one thing you appreciate is that when she says she'll be home at two in the morning, she's home at two in the morning. You get the feeling she's never really been one for paying attention to the time or worrying about other people, like you she doesn't even have a watch, but she's always home when she says she will be, and that's enough for you.

And tonight is no exception.

Santana staggers into the apartment just after one in the morning, like she had told you she would be. You're kneeling on the floor in the livingroom trying to get the ash stains off the coffee table with a cloth when the door flies open. The first thing you notice is that she doesn't have Puck attached to her body which you're happy about, he hasn't really grown on you yet, you don't think he ever will for some reason. The second thing you notice is she's got half a bottle of scotch in one hand and she's swaying terribly as she walks to the couch. When she reaches it she lets her body collapse into the cushions and groans before bringing the bottle up to her lips and taking a big sip.

You're tired, so tired you can barely keep your eyes open but you know this isn't normal for Santana, you've hardly ever seen her actually drunk, so reluctantly you decide to stay with her for a bit.

You get off the floor and sit next to her on the couch and only then does she realise you're actually in the room. She turns her head to the side and smiles at you in greeting, but it's probably the poorest smile she's ever given you and you furrow your brow in concern.

'Rough night at work?' You ask quietly.

'Not really.' Santana brings the bottle back to her lips but underestimates the length of it and soon the alcohol is dribbling down her chin and neck. You gasp and go to grab the bottle from her hand but she flinches away from you at the last second so you sit back and just watch her. Santana grabs the bottom of her shirt with her other hand and lifts it up to wipe the alcohol from her skin. You can't help it when your eyes drift down to her stomach to see her tan abs staring back at you. You want to know how she got such good abs because it took you years of gymnastics to get yours and it seems like she just has them. But no quicker they were there they were gone and Santana was standing up, well staggering up.

'I'm gonna go bed.' She announces through drooping lips. You want her to stay and talk to you about her night but you know you'd only be wasting your time, she's clearly in no state to talk. So you wave her goodnight, remembering that you should see how she is in the morning, and watch as she stumbles down the hall with a bottle of scotch still firmly in her grasp.

XXXXXXXXXX

The next morning you wake up and the first thing you think about is Santana. You went to sleep thinking about the way she had been acting so it doesn't surprise you that you're still thinking about her today. You want to go see her but you know she'll be asleep, judging by how much she drank last night she'll be asleep for a long long time.

Sighing, you get up from the floor and stretch a little to loosen your back muscles, and then grab your towel so you can have a shower before another big day of dancing. The last couple of days you've been going really well with your dancing. Yesterday you were pretty angry so you ended up incorporating a lot of krumping into your usual contemporary routines, but a lot of people seemed to like it so maybe you would do that again today, well Sugar said it looked good anyway.

You're so concentrated on what dance moves you're going to bring out today that when you open the bathroom door you almost trip over your housemate and you jump back in fright.

Santana's lying in her work clothes from last night, face down on the bathroom tiles. She's pretty close to the toilet so you think maybe she was cradling the toilet bowl at some point in the night.

'Jesus Santana!' You yell in shock and find yourself kneeling beside her in seconds. She doesn't wake so you shake her shoulders and say her name some more. 'Santana wake up. How much did you drink last night?'

'Arghh.' She groans against the tiles and you let out a sigh of relief. A small part of you thought she might be dead and you really just could not deal with that, not now, not again. You're angry at her for doing this to herself but at the same time you're so damn worried.

'Wake up, come on.' You shout and you try to lift her off the ground but she's like dead weight. She manages to roll herself over with another groan and slowly throws her arms around to get you away from her.

'Fuck omf puckk.' She mumbles with closed eyes.

'It's Brittany.' You say. 'Come on, you have to get off the floor.'

After you say your name she kind of sits up a little but not much, it's enough to get your hands around her lower back. You notice that the back of her work shirt is damp but you don't really want to stop and have a look why. Either she's rolled in her own vomit, spilt more alcohol on herself, or she decided to try and have a shower. Judging by the smell of the bathroom it was one of the first two options.

'Why are your clothes all wet?' You growl as you finally heave her off the floor. You know this is only making your back worse but you try not to think about that either, you just need to get her to bed.

Eventually you get her to stand on her own two feet but apparently walking is still out of the question so you have to basically drag her along down the hall until you reach her room. You're so busy trying to balance her up against the wall so you can open her door with the other hand that you don't even realise you're about to see Santana's room for the first time. It's only when the door is fully open and you look in that you gasp and freeze in the doorway.

The first thing you notice is how dark it is, the bed has black covers and pillows, the curtains are black and closed, and as you look up to turn on the light you can see that either the light blew badly or someone has smashed the glob to pieces. The next thing you notice is the smell. It's like a mixture of alcohol and smoke and it makes your nose curl up, even though you haven't got much in your room at least it still smells pretty, you don't know how Santana lives with it.

Speaking of Santana. You snap your head to the right and see she is slowly sliding down the wall so you reach out your arms and quickly steady her.

'Come on.' You say as you drag her into her room but you only get a groan in response.

Getting to her bed is a bit of an obstacle course, there's clothes everywhere on the floor and even a few empty alcohol bottles, you don't think you even own this many clothes. When you finally get to her queen sized bed you're so exhausted you just let her fall onto the covers while you catch your breath.

Having a housemate is a lot of hard work.

You look down to Santana and she is spread out on her bed with her legs hanging over the edge and her eyes closed like she is perfectly happy sleeping in this position. You frown because you know you'll have to get her out of those wet clothes, mom would never even let you go to bed with wet hair so you know this is important.

Sighing, you kneel down on the bed and start tugging on the bottom of Santana's shirt, after a few tugs she gets the hint and with a groan she lifts up her arms. You quickly lift her shirt off and place it on the side of the bed, trying not to stare at her stomach again. Next is her shorts. You gulp as you bend over the bed and undo the buttons of her shorts. You look up at her and her eyes are still closed so you keep going. However when you go to pull them down her legs the slap comes so fast that you don't even feel the sting for a few seconds. Your hand gravitates to the side of your face to feel the damage while you watch with wide eyes as Santana scrambles slowly to get underneath the covers. Once she's underneath she fumbles around a bit until eventually she throws her shorts out from the covers and onto the floor.

You stare at her in shock as she curls up into her bed and almost immediately falls asleep.

What the hell was that about?

You just stand there for a while clutching your face, just watching her and replaying the recent events in your mind. You want to yell and scream at her and ask her why she did it but she's already fast asleep, and something tells you there's not a hope in hell of waking her up now.

After a few moments you back away, grabbing her work clothes as you go because you should probably wash them for her, and you leave her room.

XXXXXXXXXXX

You're so shocked you don't really know what to do for the rest of the day. You wanted to go to times square and dance for a few hours but you decide to stay in the apartment. Even though Santana slapped you, you still want to make sure she's okay. You think she was probably still drunk this morning so she might not have known what she was doing.

So you spent the day doing washing and cleaning the apartment and mopping the bathroom floor. It's nearly six in the afternoon when you decide it's time to see how she is. You figure she'd be hungry from a whole day without eating so you make a toasted cheese sandwich with the ingredients in the fridge and pour a glass of water.

You don't really want to go back into her room but the overwhelming feeling to know if she's okay is pulling you towards her. So you take a deep breath and you knock on her door with your elbow, trying not to spill the glass of water in the process.

'Who the fuck is it?' Is groaned from inside. You don't know why she has to be like that all the time, maybe one day you'll ask her, but not today.

'Brittany.' You say back.

'Go away.'

You huff and furrow your brow because you're only trying to be nice but she's being really difficult. A part of your brain is telling you to leave her alone, she's clearly fine, but a larger part actually wants to see how she is.

'I have food.' You bribe. 'And water.'

You stay there listening through the door for a moment or so but you never get an answer. You take that as a silent agreement and open her bedroom door.

'Morning Sunshine.' Santana smirks as you walk into her room. She's lying in bed with the covers drawn up to her shoulders and her hands resting behind her head. You frown because you thought she would at least apologise for earlier but judging by the look on her face, she had no plan to do that at all.

'More like evening.' You grumble as you dodge the piles of clothes on her floor.

'What?' Santana yells. 'Shit I have to get to work.'

'It's Sunday.' You say quickly and Santana collapses back onto her pillow with a sigh of relief.

'Well thank fuck, Beiste would kill me if I puked all over the bar again.' She says and you just nod your head because you have no idea who this beast is but you're a little worried that Santana is hanging out with such a person. One thing you did learn though is that Santana works where there is a bar, you decide to remember that information for later. 'Is that for me?'

Santana's pointing to your hands and you look down to see the sandwich and water, you'd kind of forgotten you were holding that.

'Um yeah, here.' You say and hand her the plate which she takes eagerly. You have to move an empty beer bottle full of ash to put down the glass of water on her bedside table, you think maybe that's her ash tray or something. At least she's creative.

Santana starts hooking into the sandwich you made her, moaning at how delicious it is and for a moment you feel a little bit of pride that she likes your cooking but you don't let yourself smile for too long, you're still mad at her.

But when she reaches over to grab the glass of water you think she is reaching to hit you and you flinch away on reflex.

'Easy tiger, I'm just getting me some water.' She says when you cower away and you just stare at her in amazement. How can she be so calm about this? Does she do this all the time? or maybe she just doesn't remember? Did she ever hit Rachel when she was her housemate? 'Want some?'

You look back to her and she's gesturing to the sandwich. You just shake your head and stare at her in bewilderment. How can she just act like this morning didn't happen?

'You don't remember do you?' You find yourself saying.

'Remember what?' Santana asks after she finishes her mouthful. She's looking at you like you've lost your mind or something and it makes you even angrier. How can she not remember?! She must have still been drunk.

'Nothing.' You breathe quietly and then walk back towards the door in disappointment. You can't be around her anymore…and she didn't even say thank you for her meal.

'Okay then.' You hear her chuckle as you shut the door behind you.

You're so mad, and confused, you don't know what the hell is wrong with her but you want to find out. So you call the only person who must know something about Santana.

'Hello?' She answers.

'Rachel.' You say quickly as you walk into the living room and slump down into the couch.

'Oh Brittany, what's she done?' Rachel sighs. You scrunch up your brow because it's like she was expecting you to call, like she knew exactly what the problem was.

'You knew, you knew about her, how she is, but you didn't say anything?' You accuse down the line. You can't believe this.

'Brittany I am so sorry, but I needed to get out of there, and I couldn't do that completely unless someone else moved in. Do you have any idea how many applicants I had to go through? But they all wanted to meet Santana to see who they would be living with and within ten minutes they were out the door. And then you came along…you were so sweet and innocent and hopeful, a-and you wanted to move in right away. You were perfect.' She explains with sympathy. 'I'm sorry.'

'She's a mess Rachel!' You yell into your phone. How could someone do that? When you met Rachel you thought she was really nice that she helped you out like that, but it was all for her, it was all so she could get away from Santana and now you're stuck with everything!

'I know, trust me I know.' Rachel sighs. 'What's she done maybe I can help you out a bit, tell you what I know.'

You want to keep yelling at her and asking her how she could do this to you but the thought of finding out more information about Santana distracts you, and you can't help but go along with it.

'Well she gets home late every night and I hardly see her at all during the day.' You explain.

'Yeah that's normal.' Rachel says quickly, at least now you know Santana hasn't been avoiding you all this time.

'She almost always brings home –'

'Puck.' She interrupts. 'Yeah the amount of times he asked me to join in for a threesome was disgusting.'

You furrow your brow because you can't believe someone can live like this. You've never met someone like Santana ever in your life and she fascinates and terrifies you all at the same time. You're so damn confused.

'Sometimes she's high.' You blurt. Now you're just trying to find something that will shock Rachel but it seems like maybe nothing will.

'Yep.' Rachel agrees quickly.

'This morning I found her passed out drunk on the bathroom floor.'

You're about to ramble off about how she slapped you as well but Rachel stops you for a moment. 'She was drunk?'

'Yeah.' You say curiously. Out of everything you just said she finds Santana being drunk the shocking part? New York people are weird.

'So I take it Puck didn't stay last night.' Rachel says. You think it was supposed to be a question but she didn't say it like it was a question. You answer anyway.

'Well, no. What does that have to do with anything, do you think they had a fight?'

'I don't know maybe, but if he wasn't there that would be why she was drunk. For some reason for all the time I lived with her Santana would get blind whenever she had to sleep by herself, it was like she couldn't sleep alone so she was taking her mind off it or something, it's silly if you ask me.' Rachel rambles off disapprovingly.

You're silent for a moment, taking a few seconds to process that information.

Santana doesn't like sleeping alone? That's kind of like you…

You want to be mad at her but yet again all you want is to do is make sure she's okay, and weirdly that just makes you angry at yourself.

'That's um…I wasn't expecting that.' You say quietly, not particularly talking to Rachel but she hears you anyway.

'Yeah, I think beneath all the bitchy insults she's softer than she seems.'

You find yourself frowning at her comment and you don't know why. You know Santana's been kind of mean to you since you moved in but she's been nice too. She put your number in her phone so she could tell you when she'd be home, that was a nice thing to do.

But then your mind goes back to this morning, and you remember just how 'soft' she can be.

'She wasn't so soft this morning.' You say quietly and Rachel must pick up on your tone because her voice sounds through the phone as soon as you finish.

'What do you mean?' She asks.

You take a deep breath because you're not sure if you should be telling Rachel this, you obviously can't really trust her after she lied to you. But on the other hand you need to tell someone, you need to understand Santana and Rachel's about the only one who can help you right now.

'Well I was trying to like, help her into bed…and she slapped me across the face.' You state, but when you hear yourself say those words you feel kind of bad. 'But she was drunk so I don't think she remembers.'

'You were in her room?' Rachel asks in shock. Once again you feel like Rachel is missing the bigger issue.

'Yes?'

You hear Rachel sigh down the line. 'Well there's your first mistake Brittany, your second would be trying to help her. As far as she can tell Santana doesn't need help from anyone.'

That's not true, it can't be true because as far as you can see Santana needs all the help she can get. Maybe Rachel just doesn't understand yet.

'But you should have seen her Rachel.'

'Trust me Brittany, whatever you saw this morning, is nothing compared to what she's capable of.' Rachel tells you as though she is warning you or something. She sounds kind of rushed and she's breathing like maybe she's in a hurry but you don't want her to hang up, you still don't understand!

'What's she –' You try to say but Rachel cuts you off in a huff.

'I'm sorry Brittany but I have to go.' She breathes heavily. You can hear traffic in the background and you think maybe she is running late for something. 'Just, a piece of advice, stay away from her. It's for your own good.'

You're about to ask why it's for your own good but she's already hung up. You throw your phone on the couch cushion next to you and groan into the palm of your hands. All you want to know is what is going on with your housemate, you want someone to just stop and tell you something, anything, to help you understand what the hell is going on. Rachel is the only person who knows anything about Santana and even she doesn't seem like she could care less about how she acts. Santana's a mess, and it's like Rachel just gave up on her, passed her on to another housemate so she wouldn't have to deal with her anymore.

At least now you know Santana doesn't like sleeping by herself, and when she has to, she drinks. That's new information. But why doesn't she like sleeping by herself?

You don't like sleeping without someone else in the apartment because you don't feel safe enough to fall asleep without anyone to protect you if a burglar comes or something. Maybe Santana's the same?

You bite your lip because once again instead of anger all you feel is sympathy for Santana. Yes, she hit you this morning, but you want to know why she did it, you want to help her because you feel like no one else will. Clearly her boyfriend doesn't have a problem with the way she acts but you do, you've never seen someone so lost…and you're the one in a brand new city with no family or friends to lean on.

You have to help her.

You're about to start thinking up a plan to unravel the life of your housemate when suddenly you hear her bedroom door open and shut. You spin around on the couch to watch her walk down the hallway. She looks like she's in the same mood as earlier. You notice she's changed into a pair of dark blue jeans and an oversized Led Zeppelin t-shirt. Her hair falls loose over her shoulders, she's not wearing any make up and you can't help but wonder how she still looks so pretty.

You snap out of it when she walks past you and you frown when she heads straight for the door without even saying anything. You know she can't be going to work because it's a Sunday and she's not even in uniform.

'Where are you going?' You ask.

She stops for a second at the sound of your voice but she doesn't actually look at you. Instead she's patting the pockets of her jeans like she's searching for something.

'What's it to you, were you planning a girls night today or something?' She smirks. You roll your eyes.

'No, I just, wanted to know where you were going.' You say with a shrug. Why does she have to be so difficult? You just want to know what she does, you want to know about her life. People do that, it's normal to talk to the people you live with. Mom used to have tea with the neighbours at your house every Tuesday evening and they would chat for hours, Santana can't even talk to you for five minutes and you're actually living with her…Maybe you're doing it wrong? You wonder if Santana likes tea.

'Why?' Santana says back. You throw your arms up in frustration and let them fall with a thump back onto the couch. What is with her?!

'Fuck Santana, because I care about you and as your housemate it'd be nice to know where you are half the time!' You shout.

You sit there for a moment as your chest heaves, you can't believe you just said that. Now Santana's actually looking at you and you think she would be shocked by your words but she doesn't appear to be, instead she's just smirking at you, and it only makes you madder. You watch as she moves her hands up to pat her chest, and then she must find what she is looking for because she reaches down her shirt. She's still smirking at you and you feel yourself gulp as her hand comes back from under her shirt and she's pulling out a lighter. It must have been in her bra. For some reason that makes you blush.

'You really shouldn't swear at people.' She winks, and you feel your face heat up further. 'I'm going to Puck's, we're having a meeting with miss Mary-Jane.'

She shakes her lighter as she says that and you nod your head. You don't know who Mary-Jane is but maybe she's one of Santana's friends who smokes as well. You wonder for a second if Santana will invite you to go with her but then you shake your head gently, you wouldn't like to be around all that smoke.

'Um okay, what time will you be home, around about?' You ask shyly. You don't want to keep pestering Santana and you don't want her to get mad at you again but you just would really like to know if she's going to be late or not. You've been hanging out for a good night's sleep. 'I just, like…'

'What time do you want to go to bed?' Santana surprises you. You think about that for a second. She's never actually asked you what time you wanted to go to sleep, usually you just have to go by what time she finishes work.

'Um, I don't know…I used to go to bed at nine but I guess that's pretty early…' You trail off. You don't want Santana to think you're a little kid…but then again she kind of already thinks that.

'I'll be home by nine then.' Santana says. You look back up to her and see that she's smiling at you, not smirking, smiling. She has a really nice smile you note.

'Okay.' You smile back, you can't help it, it's contagious. She winks at you again before opening the apartment door. She's about to leave but before she does you can't help but yell after her. 'Bye Santana.'

You think she probably didn't hear you, and honestly you weren't really expecting a reply anyway, but just before the door closes you hear a small muffled 'Bye'…and you relax back into the couch with a smile.

You shake your head gently because Rachel was right, she's softer than she seems.


	4. Chapter 4

**Stoicxcat: Glad you love it! Hope you like this chapter it's sort of a set up for next chapter:)**

**Katiek28: Brittany finds out a little more about Santana in this chapter but soon Santana will be finding out a lot about Brittany;)**

**Guest: I know poor Britt is just too innocent for the likes of Santana but soon we will be seeing some different sides to Santana:)**

**Luceroderado: yeah I thought about writing that Brittany got a bruise from the slap but I didn't want you guys to think Santana was a monster or anything, it was still a slap but nothing too damaging. For someone like Brittany anything like that would be a shock anyway. Thanks for reviewing! Xx**

**Glee4ever123: hey! After this chapter they will be hanging out a lot more and some important things will be revealed….dun dun duhhh. Haha thanks for reviewing! Xx**

**Scarlettdancer: I'm so glad it's growing on you! I love that you always find time to review and give me feedback it's very much appreciated so I'm glad you're still reading this fic:) xx**

**Lanter: Yeah I wanted to do a fic completely different to my other ones, and Santana being an absolute bitch to Brittany was about as different as I could get haha**

'Hello?'

'Hey it's Sam.'

You smile when you hear his cheeky voice on the other end of the line. You didn't really get to talk much yesterday because he had to work all day and then he had a family dinner later, so you're happy you get to hear his voice again.

'Hey Sam, how are you?' You say cheerily as you walk up the stairs to your apartment. They still haven't fixed the elevator. You wonder for a second if anyone has actually let maintenance know that there's a problem with it, but that thought doesn't get too far because Sam is talking back to you.

'Yeah good Brittany, hey sorry we didn't get to talk much yesterday, but uh how bout I make it up you?' He asks. 'Are you free tonight? I was thinking a movie, they're replaying Avatar at the complex.'

You quickly run through the rest of your day in your mind to see if you would be able to make it, even though you already know you can. When you get into the apartment you'll shower to wash the day off you, then maybe you'll…yeah you have nothing planned.

'I'd love to Sam!' You say excitedly. You haven't gone out in so long and just hung out with somebody.

'Great! Well can I come pick you up in like an hour?' He asks. You nod your head frantically as you start running up the remainder of the stairs. One hour?! What are you going to wear?!

'Uh Britt, you still there?' You hear Sam ask and suddenly you remember you didn't actually answer him.

'Oh, yes that sounds good! I'll text you the address.' You pant. These stairs are killing your legs that are already exhausted after a full day of dancing.

'Awesome, see ya soon Brittany.' Sam replies.

'Bye Sam.' You quickly end the call and stride up the last few steps to your apartment. You fiddle with the keys until finally you get the door open and you race inside.

You type out a message to Sam explaining your address as you head for the bathroom. You strip off your dancing clothes faster than switching off a light bulb and you jump into the shower.

XXXXXXXXX

In the end you manage to finish getting ready right as the doorbell is ringing. You crinkle your brow for a second because you didn't even realise your apartment had a doorbell, but then again no one really swings by so it makes sense.

You run to the bathroom for one last check in the mirror. Your hair is down and straight, you're wearing tight blue jeans and a silk black shirt. You wish you had more options to choose from for tonight but the only 'going out' clothes you brought were this and a tight red dress, and you figured the dress was a bit too over the top for a movie. Plus you don't even know if this is a date or if Sam was just inviting you because he likes your company, you really didn't want to make a fool of yourself.

When you open up the apartment door and see Sam standing there in jeans and a button down white shirt, you let out a sigh of relief because you definitely made the right choice.

'Hey Sam, you look nice.' You say. You didn't think you would be nervous but you find yourself heating up as he smiles at you and you start to think maybe this is a date, that just makes you more nervous.

'So do you ma'lady.' He smiles and holds out his arm for you to take. 'Shall we?'

You giggle at his dorkyness and loop your arm through his. 'We shall.'

You end up taking a cab to the movies which is fine because Sam pays for the fare, you blush a little when he does that because he must have remembered that you don't really have a lot of money.

It's only when he pays for your movie ticket and popcorn that you realise this is most definitely a date, and you are so totally okay with that. You've never really gone on a date before, you had a bit of a serious boyfriend in highschool, Artie, but he never actually took you out anywhere. Mostly you stayed in his room and versed each other in _Call Of Duty_. It was fun for a while but Artie was a bit more into it then you were and it got boring after a while.

So when Sam gestures for you to pick a seat you giggle like a little girl and race right to the back. The back is the best place to sit because if the movie is really boring you can just watch all the other people in the cinema and laugh at the silly faces they make when funny stuff happens on screen.

You hoped it wouldn't have to come to that but if you're being honest, you definitely ended up watching peoples faces for more time than you were actually watching the screen. You kept wanting to ask Sam questions about the movie because you didn't really understand why sometimes the guy was human and then sometimes he looked like a blue alien, it was confusing, but every time you looked at Sam he had his mouth open in awe and his eyes glued open like he didn't want to miss a second. So instead you just kind of sat there and nibbled on the popcorn while you scanned around the theatre for funny looking people.

When the movie finally finished you were relieved because you'd run out of popcorn and had started picking at the fabric on the arm rests to entertain yourself.

'That was even better the eighth time.' Sam gasped in awe as the credits begin to roll.

You looked at him and furrowed your brow. He'd seen that movie eight times now? You don't really understand how he can sit and watch that over and over again. Maybe Avatar was to him like Beauty and the Beast was to you? you could watch that movie any time of the day and not get sick of it.

'Did you like it?' Sam asks unexpectedly. He had spent the last three hours not talking so you kind of forgot that you were on a date and had to like, talk and stuff. The movie was okay but you probably wouldn't see it again, you don't want to hurt his feelings though because he clearly loves it.

'Yeah it was great, everything looked so cool.' You nod, and it did look cool with all the bright colours and everything, but you wouldn't go see it another seven times that's for sure. Sam seems impressed with your answer though.

'James Cameron.' He smiles. 'Genius.'

You nod your head in agreement even though you have absolutely no idea what he's talking about. Maybe he was an actor in the movie or something.

'Ready to go?' Sam asks.

'Yep.' You smile and hop up from your seat. Sam laughs at your excitement and follows you out of the theatre. When you get out you quickly reach for your phone from your back pocket and turn it on. It's rude to have your phone on in a movie theatre.

Almost instantly you receive a message from Santana. It makes you smile seeing her name spread out across your phone.

_FromSantana: I'm home. Where are you?_

You feel a hand on your back as you type out a response, you think it must be Sam guiding you through the crowds to the exit so you don't worry about looking up to see where you're going.

_ToSantana: At the movies with Sam:)_

You look up when you feel a chill air hit your face and you see that you're outside. Sam guides you to the cab rank and you wait for one to pass by. Sam puts his arms around you as you wait and you hum into his chest because he's really warm compared to the icy cold air.

By the time he flags down a cab your phone buzzes with a reply.

_FromSantana: As your housemate shouldn't you have told me about this?;) Are you coming home tonight?_

You roll your eyes playfully with a smile because she was echoing back your words to her just a couple of days ago. You want to reply with something smart _like 'No I won't be coming home tonight because I'm taking your advice and going to get laid' _but then you remember what Rachel said, you remember how she doesn't like sleeping alone. So instead of being a smarty pants, you quickly type out a response which won't leave her feeling anxious.

_ToSantana: I'll be back soon._

'Britt, are you coming?'

You look up to see that Sam is already in the cab with the door open waiting for you to hop inside.

'Oh, yes!' You say and quickly hop in beside him. Imagine if the cab had left without you, you wouldn't have been able to find your way home at night in the dark.

On the way back to your apartment building Sam asks you if you want to have lunch tomorrow and you happily agree. It's so nice to have a friend in this city. You're so excited you think about how maybe tomorrow when Sugar goes for lunch you can tell her that you have a lunch date also, so you don't feel like such a loser.

When the cab pulls up to your place you get a little nervous again. You had a really good time tonight but you're still tired from earlier and you kind of hope Sam doesn't want to come up with you. So, even though you feel guilty, you just don't offer.

'I had fun tonight.' You say instead and Sam quickly agrees. 'Um, so I guess I'll see you tomorrow?'

'Sure will.' Sam smiles. Then he leans over the back seat and you think he's going to kiss you. You just sit still because you can't make up your mind if you want him to kiss you or not. It feels like forever before his big lips are finally touching your skin, you close your eyes in relief when you feel he is kissing your cheek. You don't know why you didn't want him to kiss you on the lips, maybe it was just too fast at the moment. 'Sweet dreams Brittany.'

You smile as he pulls back and you reach for the door handle. 'Goodnight Sam.'

XXXXXXXXXXX

You bounce up the flights of stairs to your apartment. Giddy with joy that your date actually went pretty well. But what makes you even happier is that you won't be coming home to an empty apartment, Santana will be there waiting for you. Well, probably not waiting anxiously for your arrival, but she'll be there.

You open your apartment door and walk inside with a huge grin on your face, you can feel it spread across your cheeks, you think maybe your face will be sore tomorrow from smiling so big. You were kind of nervous on the date and in the car but now you're on this massive high and all you want to do is find Santana and talk about your night.

Since the apartment is so damn small, it takes you all of five seconds to find her. She's standing in the kitchen with her back towards you. She's still in her work uniform so you take a moment to gaze at her legs while you walk to the counter. You wish you were as tan as her, you wonder how she keeps her skin so dark when the sun is barely ever out in New York.

When you take a seat on one of the bar stools she finally turns around and acknowledges your presence. The smile that you had falls quickly when you see what's in her hand.

'Puck's not coming over tonight?' You ask quietly as you eye the scotch bottle she's holding. Santana doesn't seem to be confused by your question because she just shakes her head and returns back to the counter where she's pouring herself a glass of scotch. At least she's using a glass this time.

'Nope, visiting his little bro for a few days.' She says. You notice her hand is a little unsteady as the bottle clinks against the glass when she pours her drink. You frown and wonder if maybe you should say something, you don't want a repeat of last time. 'So, how was your date with the check-out chick?'

She distracts you for a moment with that question because now your mind is racing back through your date with Sam and you find yourself smiling.

'Good, we went and saw Avatar!' You say happily and start swinging from side to side on your stool. You hear Santana snort as she re-caps her bottle and places it on the counter.

'That movie blows.' She chuckles and brings the glass of scotch to her lips. You kind of feel the need to defend Sam's choice in movie but you can't help but agree with her so you decide not to say anything. 'Are you going out again?'

You nod your head and smile. You like that Santana is actually taking an interest in your life for a change, you don't think you've ever talked so much before, it's kinda nice. 'We're meeting for lunch tomorrow.'

Santana raises her eyebrows and takes another sip of her drink. 'He doesn't waste any time does he?'

You're about to say something to defend Sam but then Santana is downing the rest of her drink and you find your mouth hanging open in shock. That was like…a full glass of scotch. You can almost feel the alcohol stinging your nostrils and you haven't even had any! You don't know how Santana can even stand the taste. Your dad let you have a glass of scotch with him on Christmas eve one time while you watched the Carols on tv, you were fifteen and you've never touched the stuff since, it made your heart feel all warm and your head fuzzy.

You bring your attention back to Santana when you hear another clink of her glass. She's pouring herself another one. You frown because she certainly doesn't need anymore, she's already staggering.

'Am I going to find you passed out in the bathroom again tomorrow?' You ask quickly before your mind can even stop the words pouring out.

You jump a little in your seat when Santana places the bottle back on the counter heavily and spins around to face you.

'What the fuck is that supposed to mean?' She growls.

You feel yourself shrink back into your seat at her glare. Your face heats up when she looks at you like that, actually your face just always heats up whenever she looks at you, she probably thinks you always look like that or something.

'I…you're drunk.' You stutter out, avoiding her gaze.

'So?' You hear her chuckle darkly. 'Look Sunshine if I wanted to live by someone elses rules I wouldn't have been expelled from fucking boarding school alright.'

Your head snaps up on reflex when she says that and you can almost see the regret in her eyes. Her mouth and eyes go wide for a second like she had just said something she shouldn't have, but then just as quickly she's bringing her glass back to her lips and relaxing as the alcohol surges through her system.

You want to smile because she has finally told you something about her, she's such a closed book all the time but now she herself has just told you something, you didn't even have to hear it off Rachel. You wonder if Rachel even got this far with Santana in their relationship?

You want to know more, you want her to keep talking and divulge all her life secrets to you, you want to hear it all.

'You got expelled from boarding school?' You prompt. You want to know why, how, when? You want to know where she went to school, who was her favourite teacher, what was she like at school, did she have many friends, what were their names, what did her uniform look like?

'I'm going to bed.' She answers instead, and just like that all the hope and excitement leaves your body like a wave of disappointment just dumped over you.

You watch helplessly as Santana turns around, snatches the bottle of scotch from the counter, and struggles back to her room.

You make a mental note to listen out for the bathroom door opening tonight, you probably won't be getting much sleep anyway.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The next morning you wake up and the first thing you do is race to the bathroom. You didn't hear the door open at all last night but you still need to find out if your housemate is okay. When you burst through the door you scan the bathroom quickly, it doesn't take long because there's only a shower, a toilet, and a sink. You let out a breath of relief when there is no sign of Santana passed out on the floor, in fact there's no real sign that she came in here at all last night. Hopefully that means she didn't get drunk enough to have to throw up.

For a second you consider knocking on her door to really make sure she is still alive and okay but then you remember how shocked Rachel was that you had been in her room, obviously she doesn't really like that.

Deciding that there's nothing more you can do, you walk slowly back to your room, and get dressed in your dance outfit.

When you arrive at your spot Sugar is already there and entertaining a little boy and his mom that had stopped to watch. You quickly take off your cardigan and place it in front of you, taking out a few coins from your shorts pocket and dropping them on the garment so people know where to put their money. You're hoping for a good day today. Ever since Santana and Puck ate all your groceries you've only really been buying meals when you're hungry because you don't want to keep too much food in the house. But since Puck is away for a couple of nights maybe it would be safe enough to buy some groceries, you could even just hide some in your room.

You decide that after your lunch date with Sam today you could follow him back to work and quickly run some groceries home before coming back and finishing off the day. That means you have to absolutely kill these morning crowds though. But you think you can do it because you've been practising some new cool moves lately and you think people will be really impressed.

Sugar's playing '_Wild One'_ and you smile at her because you love this song. You start off slow because you want to come into the song in chorus. You can see a few people stopping and watching you curiously, wondering what you're about to do and you close your eyes so you don't get too nervous.

That's when it happens. It's building up to the chorus and you go to spin to gain some momentum but you're thinking too much about the move you want to do and you lose your footing. Your feet land on the ground with a thud and your left ankle rolls outwards until your knee collapses, bringing you down to the ground.

The people around you gasp, and a couple ask if you're okay but when you say you're fine they gladly keep on walking. You can hear the music cut out as you try to stand up but you scream out in pain when you put the tiniest amount of weight on your left foot.

'Brittany, hey you alright?' You look up in pain to see Sugar standing over you. You want to tell her you're fine but you think if you try to speak you'll probably burst out in tears so instead you just shake your head, no you're not alright.

'Come on sweety I'll take you home, you can't dance on that today.' Sugar says nicely and kneels down further to help you up. You want to shake your head and say you're okay to dance but you know you're not. You're so mad at yourself because you just wasted a whole day, or more, of earning money just because you lost focus for a second.

You want to cry but you don't want to do that in front of Sugar so you suck in your bottom lip and will yourself to keep it together. You feel sorry for Sugar because she's basically supporting your entire body weight and she's about half the size of you. You don't know where she's taking you but you don't really care at this moment.

'My cardigan.' You mumble quietly because you don't want to leave it behind to get stolen.

'Don't worry, Rory will look after our stuff.' Sugar explains. You scrunch up your brow because you've never met a Rory before, it could be the Irish man who stands a couple of metres down the street doing card tricks but you're not sure. You wonder if Rory ever gets invited to lunch with Sugar.

Eventually Sugar leads you to her car and she asks for your address. You tell her and hop in the passenger seat. You're a little confused how she can afford a car but still works on the streets, when you ask her she says she just loves the atmosphere and you nod because that's true, it is pretty cool seeing everybody pass by and you can just pretend they're all there for you.

You thank Sugar greatly when she helps you up your apartment stairs as well and then she even helps you into the apartment. You think maybe she is a friend afterall, this is the kind of things friends would do for each other. You ask her to help you to the couch because you don't want her to see that you don't have a bed in your room.

'Thanks Sugar.' You say when she places you on the couch and she makes you elevate your leg on the coffee table.

'That's okay, trust me I know how you feel I've had that many sprained ankles over the years I can barely count them. Rest that leg okay and put some ice on it.' She says.

You nod your head and thank her again. You'll rest it sure, but you can't really afford let alone be bothered to go and find some ice. But you don't tell her that, she's done enough by helping you home.

'Okay well I'm gonna get back and save our stuff from Rory, I'll give you your things when I see you next yeah?'

'Okay, yeah that sounds good.' You smile.

When Sugar leaves you let out a sigh of frustration and turn on the tv, deciding there's not much more you can do for the rest of the day. It makes you mad that you could let this happen. You've got enough money for this weeks rent but not much else. Looks like you won't be buying those groceries today.

'Oh Sam!' You remember and quickly pull out your phone. You type out a message to him explaining you won't be able to meet him for lunch. He replies straight away saying that's cool, maybe another day. You're glad he doesn't seem too upset because you kind of like him and you want him to like you too.

The rest of the day goes by super slowly. You end up watching tv for most it and trying not to think about food. Later in the night you hobble your way into your room before you get too tired to move. You plonk yourself down on your makeshift bed on the floor and stretch out your legs. Now you can really see the damage you've done. Your left ankle is about twice the size of your right and every time you move it an inch you groan in pain. Great.

At about eleven you get a text from Santana and sigh in relief because she must have finished work.

_FromSantana: Leaving work now._

You smile because soon you'll be able to go to sleep and forget about your leg for a while. It's just fifteen minutes late when you hear Santana come home.

You sit up a little when you hear more footsteps and voices follow her. You know it can't be Puck because he's away so you furrow your brow in concern.

'Dude where's your housemate?' One of them says, he sounds like a bit of a surfer dude or something.

'Joe don't take that shit out until I close the front door.' You hear Santana curse. You tilt your head in curiosity because you wonder what they must have that they don't want others to see. Maybe it's a secret. 'She's probably in her room.'

You hear the door close and then another man is talking. This one seems more smooth with his voice.

'Will she do a line with us?' The man asks. You furrow your brow further. What are they talking about?

'Maybe if it's a line of fucking rainbows.' Santana snorts. You frown because that was kind of mean.

'Go get her, I need to meet this girl.' You hear a girl say who sounds nothing like Santana. She's laughing loudly but you don't know why. A moment later you hear a knock at your door and you freeze.

'Sunshine.' Santana's voice sounds through the door. 'You in there? There's some people I want you to meet.'

You panic. You don't know whether to tell her to go away or to pretend you 're not home. She can probably already see that your light is on so she must know you're here. You shuffle around on the floor for a second to make your way to the door before she can open it but as soon as you try to move your foot aches in pain and you fall back onto the floor. Shit.

'I can't.' You end up saying poorly because she's still knocking insistently on your door. Damn it, now she definitely knows you're here. You really don't want her to see your room, and where you've been sleeping all this time. What would she think of you then? She'd probably laugh at you.

'What?' She says. You know she must be confused. 'I'm coming in so stop blowing Sam.'

'No!' You shout, but it's too late, the door is already swinging open. You watch in embarrassment as her face screws up in confusion.

'What the…'

**XX**

**Uh oh…**

**Next chapter Santana is going to learn a few things about Brittany, how do you think she'll react?**

**Any guesses about why she was expelled from boarding school?**

**Ps the people Santana brought home were Joe, Sebastian, and Tina(Goth version). **


	5. Chapter 5

**ScarlettDancer: haha perhaps you'll see her dabbling in a bit more than drugs soon!;)**

**Love-Brittana: woo thank you! I hope you like this chapter:)**

**JLHarca: I know I'm sorry, trust me I don't like writing it either, but you will be pleased to know there is no bram in this chapter! I Hope that makes up for it a little:/**

**Pourwords: I think your wishes might just come true;)**

**BrittzTana: No Puck or Sam in this chapter so I hope you like it! Also we will see how Santana handles Brittany's situation…:)Thanks for reviewing!**

**Luceroadorada: Thank you! Hope you like this one:)**

**Gurlfight13: thank you for following and reviewing! I think most people should be pretty happy with her reaction!**

**FormerlyanonymousBK: it's not going to be all smooth sailing straight away but I can assure you better times are coming! At least they will be talking a lot more. I'm glad you like it and sorry for teasing you;)**

**Guest: thank you so much! It's so nice to hear people are enjoying this fic, I hope this chapter holds some of your answers:)**

**RiotFest: I'm happy you love it, thank you! You may be surprised with how she reacts…:)**

**Glee4ever123: I like your guess for why she got kicked out of school, that will be revealed in later chapters:) Hope you like how this one pans out. Thanks for reviewing:) xx**

'I haven't gotten around to decorating yet..'

She doesn't seem to take your poor words into account at all, in fact you don't think she even heard what you said because her eyes are still darting around the room like she just walked into another universe. You want to run away and hide from her gaze but you can't even stand up let alone run. So instead you just sit there with your arms held out behind you supporting your weight, and you watch her.

'Is that where you sleep?' Santana says finally. She's pointing to the pile of clothes and a blanket you're currently lounging on. You want to make up some excuse that would explain your situation but you just can't think of anything. Why would someone not have a bed?

When you notice Santana is still staring at you for an answer you find yourself just nodding your head. Her face doesn't seem to change too much, she still looks like she has no idea what the hell is going on. 'What are you like anti-furniture or some shit?'

'No.' You say. You're so nervous, you just want this whole day to disappear, nothing has gone right and you just want to rewind to this morning and never go dancing so you wouldn't be in this position right now, with Santana watching you from the doorway like you're some sort of zoo animal in captivity.

'What's wrong with your foot?' She says and points to your leg. You look down to your ankle even though you know exactly what she's talking about. You just want a reason to get away from her gaze for a second.

'I sprained it today dancing, so I've been hanging out in my room resting it.' You say shakily. Pretty much the whole day you've done nothing but watch tv or hang out in your room googling fun facts on your phone. You found a few good ones too. 'Did you know that the offspring of two sets of identical twins are legally cousins but genetically siblings?'

You blush as soon as the words come out your mouth. You weren't supposed to say that out loud but she's making you so damn nervous. It seems every time you're around her you lose your ability to speak in coherent sentences, and it frustrates you.

Shyly, you glance back to Santana to see how she took your random fact. You prepare yourself to be called stupid or a weirdo but she doesn't say anything, instead she just stares at you curiously for a second, before glancing back to your ankle.

'You should put ice on that.' She states quietly.

'Yeah, that's what sugar said but I didn't get any money today so I couldn't go buy some.'

Santana crinkles her brow a little and tilts her head back. 'Ice is like $2.'

You feel your cheeks heat up in embarrassment. You don't think you can even afford that at the moment, especially since you didn't make one cent today. But you don't want Santana to know about that, you don't want her to think you're poor. 'Oh, um, oh well. I'm sure it'll be fine.'

You hope she'll just leave it at that and leave, and you're surprised when she stares at you for a second more before silently turning around and walking back out of your room, shutting the door behind her. Oddly enough you feel a little disappointed that she just left you like that, but then you remind yourself that it's what you wanted and you let out a forced sigh of relief.

You're about to lie back down and attempt to get some rest now that you know Santana is home but then you hear the front door slam shut and one of Santana's friends yell out.

'Santana, where are you going?' You hear the surfer dude ask, Joe maybe?

You spend the next ten minutes wondering anxiously why she left so suddenly without a word, why she just left her friends in the apartment by themselves. That wasn't being a very good host.

Maybe you had offended her in some way?

Maybe she realised she didn't want to live with a poor loser?

Maybe she just ran out of scotch or something?

You're about to send her a message asking her if she is okay when you hear the apartment door open again. You breathe a real sigh of relief again when you hear her friends call her name. She must not have answered them because you didn't hear a reply, either that or she spoke too quietly for you to hear.

You hear footsteps approach your room again but this time you don't even attempt to move positions, she's already seen you. You just hope she hasn't come back to kick you out.

The door rattles open and then Santana walks right into the room, closing the door behind her. She's not looking at you, instead her eyes are trained on your leg and she doesn't even look up when she takes a seat beside you. That's when you notice she's holding a tea towel, but it has something in it.

You watch curiously as she gently cradles the underside of your ankle before softly placing the tea towel down on your swollen ankle. You gasp a little at the cold touch and her eyes snap back to yours in concern.

'Did that hurt?' She asks, but you shake your head quickly.

'No, uh, just cold.' You smile back. She seems to accept that answer as she nods and goes back to guiding the tea towel over your ankle slowly.

You can't help but watch her in amazement. You definitely weren't expecting that. And it wasn't even the fact that she went out of her way to get you ice, but it was that she took the time and care to wrap it in a tea towel so the ice didn't burn your leg when it made contact with your skin. If anything she would have been more likely to throw the bag of ice into your room and shut the door again, letting you care for yourself. But now, Santana Lopez is sitting here next to you and applying ice so tenderly to your ankle that you have to ask yourself if this really is the same girl who slapped you across the face not that long ago.

You feel your heart beat start to pick up when Santana glances back to you and you realise you've been staring at her again. You always do that, she must think you're so weird. Quick, say something.

'You didn't have to do that.' You say quietly. You don't know why you're talking so quietly. Maybe it's because you don't want the people in the living room to hear your conversation, or maybe it's because you don't want to startle Santana away.

'You should elevate it a little, here.' Santana says and shuffles along the ground, completely ignoring your comment. You smile to yourself a little because she mustn't be good at taking compliments. Another fun fact about Santana Lopez you will store tightly in your mind.

Santana's kneeling beside you and you watch as she takes the pillow, or sack of clothes, from behind you and she brings it to slide it under your foot. You feel like you should tell her that Sugar has already told you all this but you kind of like Santana taking care of you so nicely, so you decide to keep your mouth shut for the time being.

She gestures for you to slide further back towards the wall and you gladly follow her instructions until your back is resting firmly against your bedroom wall with your legs outstretched in front of you. You like this position better because now you can give your arms a rest, you think that's probably why she told you to do it.

'Thank you.' You say as Santana places the 'pillow' back underneath your ankle, so gently you could barely feel it move. This can't be the same girl who bashes through the apartment every night like she's the size of an elephant, knocking over just about anything and everything that comes in the proximity of her.

You expect her to leave but once again she surprises you and your heart beats even faster when she shuffles along the floor until she too is sitting against the wall. You feel your skin heat up a little and your muscles tighten because she's so close to you that you can smell her perfume drifting through the air and making your room smell like vanilla and cinnamon. It reminds you of your mothers cooking and before you know it you're smiling. It's a nice change from the usual cloud of smoke that radiates off your housemate.

Although you're so glad Santana is staying with you, you can't help but wonder why she isn't going back out to her friends.

It dawns on you that maybe she thinks she has to take care of you now, but you don't want to be a burden on her night with her friends, that would just make her hate you more.

'Sorry you can go back to your friends, I don't want you to keep them waiting.' You say quickly. You don't look at her when you speak, you can already feel how close she is and you think if you actually look at how close she is you might do something stupid, like cough…or faint. So instead you just stare straight ahead at the plain lavender coloured wall on the opposite side of the room, hoping that she's looking away from you too.

'Don't worry they won't even know what day it is by now.' Santana mumbles. You wonder for a second why that would be, maybe they drink as much as she does. 'Are you going to tell me why you've been living like a hippy?'

The question catches you so off guard that you snap your eyes back to her, regretting it immediately when your eyes lock on hers. She is close too, so close you can see the small blood vessels clouding her eyes and the bags forming underneath, you think she probably got about as much sleep as you did last night. You stare at her eyes for a second more, both not moving, until finally you remember to answer her question. You're so captivated by the deep brown of her eyes that you don't even think to tell her anything but the truth.

'I haven't got much money, and I've been um…saving up.' You say slowly, you really have to stop looking at her eyes soon. Like now. Stop looking at them. She's still looking at yours but that doesn't mean you can keep looking at hers. Turn away. Now!

You pull your head away to the right and focus your attention back to the lavender wall. You gulp when you notice Santana still has her head tilted to the side, watching you intently.

'Saving up for what?' She asks quietly. She's so close she could have whispered and you would have heard her.

'Rent.' You answer honestly with flushed cheeks. People save up for cars, a house, or trips overseas, who saves up for rent every week? Once again you think Santana will laugh at you, but for the third time tonight she surprises you.

'But you're always at work when I wake up, you must be rolling in the benjamins by now.' She says.

'I'm not at work, I just.' You close your eyes in embarrassment. 'I busk.'

'You busk?' She laughs a little when she answers but not much, not what you were expecting at least.

'Well…I dance. Every day I go down to times square and just dance, from nine to five, like a real job. It's good I've even got my own little spot now next to this other girl, Sugar, she's really good and I get to try out new dance moves and people come and watch me. Sometimes they'll drop some money onto my cardigan…'

You trail off a little because you don't have much more to say. It's a fairly simple job, you turn up, and you dance, that's it.

'Why don't you go out and get a real job, you know, one where you actually get money.' Santana states next to you. You still don't dare turn your head to look at her, you know she's still watching you so you keep your eyes trained ahead.

'I'd rather dance.' You shrug. Why would you get a silly job like waitressing or in retail when you could do what you love all day and get paid for it?

'Even if you end up broke and have to sleep on the floor for the rest of your life?' Santana questions. She's asking you as though you're crazy or something, maybe she really thinks you are. But you're not crazy.

'It's my dream.' You state. Your parents always taught you to follow your dreams, no matter what.

'To dance for quarters?' Santana laughs lightly. You shake your head.

'To dance for people. To make them happy. Mom told me she see's people smile when they watch me dance, she said I was special.'

You hear Santana scoff at that one and finally you feel her gaze drift off you, her head centres so she's looking at the wall again like you are. You let out a little breath you didn't know you were holding.

'Mom's have to say that kind of shit, doesn't always make it true.' She says. You furrow your brow.

'Mom wouldn't lie to me.'

'Trust is for the weak.' Santana says quickly, almost like she chants that phrase every night in her sleep. 'Eventually everyone will let you down, there's some truth for you.'

For the first time you voluntarily let your head roll to the side to face her. You can see the muscles in her jaw clenching and unclenching like she's grinding her teeth. Her eyes are staring ahead, she must know you're looking at her, she must feel it, but she doesn't say anything so you just keep staring.

You don't know how anyone could live by what she's saying, _eventually everyone will let you down_…That's horrible to think, and completely untrue. There's always someone, someone in this world for everyone who they can trust whole-heartedly. For you it was your parents, now though, you can't really count too much on that. But that doesn't mean everyone else will let you down, Santana didn't let you down tonight, in fact she went beyond all your expectations.

You start to think maybe Santana has a history of being let down. How can someone be so against trust without having trusted before?

'I won't ever let you down.' You find yourself saying. It's something you'd normally regret saying to someone like Santana, but for some reason you only want to say it over and over again until its engraved in her brain that she can trust you, that you won't ever let her down. You don't really know what letting her down would entail, but whatever it was, you wouldn't do it.

You see Santana's jaw visibly relax. Her eyes kind of flutter for a second like she can't believe you just said that. Its then you notice how long and thick her eye lashes are, and how soft her eyes can seem when she's just sitting here like this with you. You wish she'd sit with you all night.

'You shouldn't make promises you can't keep.' She says quietly. So quietly it was almost a whisper, but you heard it.

You want to reach out and take her hand but you decide against it. The last time you touched her she slapped you across the face.

Instead you just lean in that little bit closer, you're so close now that when you release a shaky breath you can see the hair swept over her ear move.

'I don't.' You say confidently. It's probably the most sure you've sounded around Santana since, well, since you met her.

Santana lets her head roll to the side until her face is just a hair away from yours. You can see right into her brown eyes, the ones which at first you thought were deep and mysterious, now all you see is warmth and something else, something you can't quite place yet. One day you'll figure it out. Until then you just surrender yourself to the fact that you're going to be lost in those eyes until she looks away.

But she doesn't look away.

You feel a lump form in your throat when her eyes shift downwards, stopping at your lips. She stays there for a moment while your heartbeat quickly picks up its pace. You wonder if she can hear it because you can certainly feel it. You have no idea what she's doing but whatever it is you just want her to do it already.

You're about to lean in further when suddenly, and annoyingly your stomach growls. The sound fills the room and you watch as Santana's eyes flutter back up to yours, and then she's moving her head back and staring at you.

You can see a light blush coat her cheeks and you want to smile and take a photo of this rare moment in history but you're too focussed on your own embarrassment to care.

'When was the last time you ate?' Santana laughs with a quirked brow. You only blush further.

'Um…I'm not sure.' You were going to buy some food at lunch but then you hurt your ankle so you couldn't. You probably haven't eaten anything since yesterday, no, you're sure you haven't.

Santana furrows her brow at you and you just want to vanish through the wall you're leaning against, or perhaps even the floor, whichever ones quicker.

'Fuck…' She says after a long pause and closes her eyes tight.

'What?' You ask.

Santana's left hand is rubbing her forehead, maybe to smooth out the lines she's making by frowning so hard.

'Puck and I ate all your food the other week…' She says slowly, realisation finally hitting her. You want to comfort her and tell her that it's okay, but it's not, not really, you can't afford someone eating your food all the time.

'You did.' You say softly.

You think this would be the time for someone to apologise, but she doesn't.

'I'd say you should sleep on the couch tonight but I'm guessing my friends will want to crash out there for the night.' Santana says. She's not really looking at you anymore and that makes you a little sad, maybe she was weirded out by whatever happened earlier?

'That's okay, this really isn't too bad.' You reassure and lightly pat the floor beside you. Judging by the raised eyebrow Santana's giving you, she doesn't really believe it.

'You could just…' Santana starts but then stops herself. She opens her mouth again but then shuts it straight away. You'd probably laugh if it was anybody else, she does look kind of funny. 'Why don't you like, sleep in my bed. You know because it's so big and there's plenty of room and Pucks not here and-'

She stops herself once again and closes her eyes slowly before opening them, and now she's staring right at you and she whispers '…just for tonight.'

'Okay.' You say immediately, because you're captured in those brown eyes again. Those eyes that could make you do anything.

You both sit there in silence for a moment. You don't really know what to say or do so eventually you find that you're just staring back at that wall again.

'Do you want to get into bed now?' Santana asks suddenly. You glance at her and she's biting her lip, almost like she's nervous for your answer or something.

'Yes.' You answer.

Santana nods her head thoughtfully and then she's getting up from the floor, wiping the dust from the back of her shorts. You think this is the time that she's going to go back out to her friends but she doesn't, instead she turns to you and holds out her hand for you to take.

You're so shocked that you quirk your eyebrow at her and she just smiles and rolls her eyes playfully while shaking her hand like you better take it now before she forgets her offer. So you quickly reach your hand out and grab hers. Her skin is warmer than you expected, softer too. Her fingers wrap around your hand and then she's pulling you up.

Only now are you reminded about your ankle when you go to take a step and practically collapse onto Santana in pain.

'Wow, hey be careful okay?' She says worriedly. You thought for a second she was saying be careful not to run into her but then you realise she was telling you to look after your foot.

Santana wraps an arm around your waist and the other one is pulling your arm around her neck. Now you can really smell her perfume and you just want to bury your face in her neck and keep that smell with you for the rest of your life but you restrain yourself, that might be a little much.

Santana leads you out of your room and slowly guides you down the hall. You notice she's quite strong for someone with such a small frame, she practically carries you to her room while you hobble along on your good foot.

As you pass the living room you take a quick look to see what Santana's friends are doing to keep themselves entertained. You had kind of forgotten about them.

One of them, a guy with slicked back hair, is leaning over the coffee table and oddly lining up a trail of salt around the edge. Another one, an Asian girl with jet black hair and blue streaks, is standing behind the couch playing excitedly with the dreads of the guy sitting in front of her. The guy with the dreads is just staring at the blank tv and drumming his fingers wildly against his leg. You furrow your brow. Santana's friends are kind of weird.

Santana opens the door to her room and helps you to her bed. You can't believe she's not only letting you in her room but she's actually inviting you to sleep in her bed, you know Rachel never got this far with her. You can't help but grin at that fact as Santana lowers you onto her bed.

It's dark because the blinds are still shut and when you look up you can see that the light bulb hasn't been replaced yet. But you can see enough to know that Santana is standing before you awkwardly like she's not sure what to do with you now that you're in her bed. You want to make some joke like '_well you've got me in your bed, now what do you intend to do with me Miss Lopez?_' But you chicken out.

'Um, I'll get you some food.' Santana says after a moment and turns around to the door.

'You don't have to do that.' You say but it's too late, she's already gone.

Shaking your head lightly, you push yourself up the bed until you can wiggle yourself under the covers, making sure not to bump your foot on anything. You can't believe how this night has turned around, at the start all you wanted to do was vanish into thin air but now you're lying in Santana's bed, curled up in her comfy sheets and letting your head sink into a soft pillow while Santana gets you some food. This might just be the best night you've had since you moved in.

Santana's room still smells of smoke and alcohol but it doesn't bother you as much as you thought it would. In fact the smell is kind of making your eyes tired and your head heavy.

You're about to drift off to sleep when her bedroom door opens again. Your eyes strain at the unexpected light streaming into the room, but then it's gone again in an instant and you can relax.

You swear you can see Santana smile a little when she spots you curled up in her bed, but you don't spend too much time dwelling on that because she's handing you a plate that smells delicious. You take it willingly and your mouth almost waters at the smell of the toasted sandwich she made you. You smile because you think maybe it was her way of saying thank you for the time you brought her a toasted sandwich in bed.

You thank her kindly, but she doesn't reply, instead she's lifting up the covers and you don't really know what she's doing until you feel the cold ice hit your skin and your breath hitches in surprise.

'Alright, well I'm gonna go make sure they haven't snorted all my coke.' Santana says quickly once she's straightened up. Your brow creases and you find yourself smiling.

'Why would you snort coke? Wouldn't it be all fizzy in your nose?'

As soon as the words leave your mouth you want to take them back. Your mind flashes back to seeing Santana's friend lining up salt on your coffee table, well you though it was salt. Maybe that's what they were hiding when they were coming in here?

You blush because Santana must think you're such an idiot. You wince just thinking about what insult she's going to throw at you. So when you reluctantly shift your eyes to look back up at her you're a little shocked to see her with a lop-sided smile.

'Goodnight Sunshine.' She smiles.

You can't help but smile back. It's the first time she's called you that without you feeling like she was making fun of you.

'Goodnight.' You whisper as she leaves the room.

When the door is closed you're submerged into darkness, but unlike when you're in your room, you don't really feel scared or alone. Maybe it's having Santana's scent filling all your senses, or how her bed feels like it's just giving you a big warm hug and all you want to do is cuddle into it and lie there forever.

Smiling to yourself you sit up a little and nibble on the sandwich Santana made you, moaning as the melted cheese warms your mouth. Yum.

You can hear noises and voices from the livingroom but instead of annoying you it just makes you feel safer to go to sleep. Especially now you know that at some point in the night, Santana will be crawling into bed next to you, and you'll even get to wake up with her next to you too.

With that happy thought, you finish the rest of your sandwich, and you cuddle back into her bed, letting sleep take over you.

'Sebastian, how many fucking lines have you done?'

**What did you think?**

**xx**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey this ones kind of short but the next one will be longer I promise!**

**And can I just say how amazing all the follows and favourites are! It's making me feel very special so thank you all:)**

**Sb: happy to hear you like it! Thanks for reviewing:)**

**Jrzygurl89: I like your ideas! We will find out a bit more about where Santana works in the chapters to come:)xx**

**Zurrli: I'm glad you liked the almost kiss, and you're right about Santana she's not going to break that easily, but I'm sure Brittany will eventually get what she wants…if she ever figures that out haha**

**Hanazono: Thank you beautiful!**

**Guest: and this one will have all brittana again!**

**Elisesmyhomegurl: I'm so happy I made your weekend! Santana won't be cuddling up to her just yet but you'll certainly see her start to open up a little more in the chapters to come:)**

**Katiek28: Glad you liked the chap! I love that I can always count on you for an awesome review:) and we will be finding out more about Santana as the chapters go on but she's a bit of a secrets keeper so it might take a while for britt to get it out of her. Thanks for reviewing:) xx**

**Msheatherette: don't worry you didn't miss anything! The story of Brittany's parents will be revealed next chapter:)**

**Glee4ever123: You probably won't find out much about Santana for a couple of chapters but we will definitely find out why Brittany's been so alone in the next chapter:)**

**ScarlettDancer: and I like you for reviewing:)**

**OmgninjaPoP: Haha I laughed at your review:)**

**Brittztana: I thought I mentioned why Brittany doesn't just sleep on the couch but knowing me I probably didn't haha anyway my reasoning is that she wouldn't want Santana catching her sleeping on the couch and then asking her heaps of questions like 'why don't you just sleep in your bed?'**

You wake up with absolutely no sense of the time of day or where you are for that fact. The room is dimly lit but there are small streams of light floating in from the blinds. It doesn't take you long to realise you're not in your room, the first clue was the fact that your back wasn't aching, the second was the smell of smoke and alcohol, and the third was the fact that you were in an actual bed.

And then last night came racing back to you.

Your ankle.

Santana.

Being so close to Santana.

Santana being nice to you.

Sleeping in Santana's bed….

Your eyes go wide in shock. Omg you're in Santana's bed!

All the muscles in your body tense at just the thought. You don't remember her coming to bed last night but then again you were so dead and her bed is so comfy that there could have been an earthquake last night and you wouldn't have felt it.

Very very slowly, you turn your body, trying to make as little noise as possible, until you come face to face with your housemate. You gasp a little at how close she is but you don't dare move. Her eyes are closed and she still looks very much asleep.

You let yourself relax a bit when you realise she's not going to wake up.

She looks so peaceful. Her hair is down and falling softly over her shoulders, you want to reach out and touch it but you decide that's a little creepy. You notice she still has some bags under her eyes and you wonder what time she actually got to bed last night.

You feel like you shouldn't be staring at her like this but you can't help it, you always knew she was pretty, but looking at her this closely without her eyes to distract you, she's beautiful. Her skin looks so soft and clear, and her lips are so plump that you want to run the pad of your finger over them to feel how soft they are. You shake your head at that thought, don't be weird.

It's only when you look further down that you notice Santana's head isn't on a pillow, in fact when your eyes drag down her body you can see the tip of her pillow under the covers. When you lift the covers up slightly you smile when you see her arms are latched tightly around it, almost like she's cuddling it. You never would have picked Santana as a cuddler.

She breathes out a soft puff of air and your eyes snap back to hers but they're still closed so you let yourself relax. She really is beautiful. You wonder where she's from, her skin is so tan, and her hair and eyes are so dark. It's like she's the complete opposite to you and it's fascinating. You so badly want to feel her skin, feel how soft it is, how smooth, you want to -

'You're staring.'

Your eyes go wide and snap back up to hers, but they're still tightly shut. You didn't even notice a change in her breathing, you flush wondering if she's been awake this whole time, if she could feel your gaze dragging over skin.

'So you can wake up before noon.' You say. You figure she's already caught you out, you might as well go along with it.

Your eyes drift down to Santana's lips and see she has a small smile playing on them.

'Shut up.' She mumbles. You're kind of happy she hasn't opened her eyes yet, it makes it easier to talk to her, it's makes you more confident.

'What are you doing today?' You ask quietly.

'Sleep.' She answers after a moment. 'What are you doing?'

She's talking so slowly your pretty sure she could fall asleep again at any moment, but that doesn't really bother you, she looks kind of cute when she's sleepy.

'I don't know.' You shrug, even though she can't see you. 'I was going to go dance, but my foot still feels swollen, so I guess I'm just hanging around the apartment.' You stare at Santana but it doesn't look like she's going to say anything more. You don't really want her to go back to sleep, you want her to keep talking to you. You like it when she talks to you, even if she's being mean. 'Are your friends still here?'

'I don't know I don't have x-ray vision.' She answers after a moment. You watch as her lips purse together again and then she lets out a little sigh. 'They usually clear out when they're ready, probably not for a few hours though.'

A few hours. You don't really want to risk running into one of them, they seemed really weird last night.

'Okay, I'll just stay here then.' You say, pulling the doona up to your chest, loving how snuggly you feel in this bed.

'Are you scared of them?' Santana says suddenly, you look back to her and see she is smiling smugly to herself.

'A little.' You answer honestly. That Asian girl you saw last night kind of looked like a vampire, and they sure are scary, that's why you were never allowed to watch Twilight.

'Why?' Santana laughs lightly. You frown at her, but only because her eyes are still closed and you can get away with it. You think about poking out your tongue at her but if she caught you doing that you'd probably die of embarrassment.

'Mom used to say that drugs create bad people from the good.' You say instead.

'Another nugget of wisdom from mommy.' Santana grumbles. You want to agree with her but you feel like she's doing that thing where she makes fun of you again, so instead you keep quiet. After a few seconds Santana's eyes slowly open and then you're stuck again, stuck in those eyes. She's looking straight at you through her tired eyes, the small amount of light floating through the blinds brightening her dark orbs to a golden brown and making you even more captivated. She's no longer smirking to herself, now she actually looks kind of sad, or she could just be tired still.

'Are you scared of me?' She asks quietly.

You think about that for a second. You think you probably should be scared of her, everything about her is what your parents warned you to stay away from… drugs, excessive alcohol use, cursing, ill mannered, sexual, and violent. Everything you've ever learnt is telling you to be afraid of this girl but everything inside of you is drawing you towards her. You're confused. But you know one thing for sure, she doesn't scare you.

'No.' You answer. Santana stares at you with an unreadable expression for a while longer, almost like she's waiting for you to take back your words. But you don't, you meant what you said.

'Why?' She asks. She sounds angry and you don't know why. Doesn't she want people to like her? 'I'm just like them.'

You furrow your brow at that. Yes, she may be like her friends in that she also drinks and does drugs, but no one is just like anyone else. As Dr Suess says: You are you, that is truer than true, there is no one alive who is youer than you.

Dr Suess always helped you understand things growing up. Maybe he could help make Santana understand too?

'Dr Suess once said : you'll get mixed up of course, as you already know. You'll get mixed up with many strange birds as you go. So be sure when you step. Step with care and great tact and remember that life's a great balancing act. Just never forget to be dexterous and deft. And never mix up your right foot with your left.' You finish with a proud smile on your face, happy that you could remember it all.

'Okay…' Santana draws out slowly. She looks a little confused but that's ok because sometimes Dr Suess can be really hard to understand, so you decide to clarify for her.

'You're a good person Santana, you didn't have to care about me at all last night, but you did.' You smile when you see a light blush coat her cheeks. 'I believe you were once an even better person, just somewhere along the way you mixed up your right foot from your left. And I think you could be that person again if you tried.'

You think you can see a hint of a smile playing on her lips but almost as quick as you saw it, it was gone again, replaced with a scowl.

'Yeah well…' Santana frowns and rolls her eyes. You don't like it when she does that. She's getting defensive again. 'Dr Suess also said: "Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not."

She stares straight at you as she says those words and it feels like they hit you right in the chest. She seems so sure, so sure that nothing will ever get better for her, so sure that she doesn't even care anymore. But that's not true, your parents always taught you to dream. There's always more to life, always something unexpected around the corner. There's always something else waiting for you, you just have to go searching for it.

Santana thinks that nothing will get better unless someone else cares a whole awful lot?

'I care a whole awful lot.' You say quietly. You said it because you don't want Santana to give up on herself, but after the words pour from your mouth you suddenly realise how true they are. You do care about her.

'You don't even know me.' Santana states just as quietly.

You crinkle your brow. 'I thought we were talking about caring, not knowing?'

Santana stares at you for a moment. She opens her mouth a few times like she's about to say something but then she closes it again with a huff.

'I don't need to change, or get better.' She eventually says. 'You're looking at the best version of me right now.'

You watch as she rolls away from you and onto her back, letting go of the pillow she was hugging in favour of crossing her arms over her chest.

'And you can't tell me I don't scare you when the other day you practically wet yourself when you brought me food.'

'I admit I was a little scared then, but that was only because you had hit me earlier.' You blurt.

Uh oh.

It takes a while for Santana to react. At first she just looks at you strangely, probably trying to work out if you were making some sort of weird joke or something, but then gradually her face relaxes and she looks at you seriously.

'What?' She breathes. She looks as though she doesn't really want to hear the answer, like she's scared of what you might say. But she deserves to know, she needs to know what she turns into when she drinks like that. So you tell her.

'You were still really drunk I think, I was helping you get changed…and then you just slapped me.'

Santana stares open mouthed at you for a moment. Taking in your words and processing them. Just when you think maybe she's not going to say anything at all she finally speaks.

'I didn't mean to.' She whispers.

You want to yell at her and tell her how it made you feel to be slapped like that, no ones ever slapped you before. You want her to know that you were only trying to help her but judging by the look on her face she probably already knows that. So instead you sigh, and you nod your head.

'I know.'

Again you think now would be the time that someone would apologise but once again she avoids it. You think perhaps she doesn't know how to say I'm sorry, maybe she's not used to it.

'Does it hurt?' She asks quietly. You've never seen her look so small and it makes you want to lean forward and wrap your arms around her, kind of like how she was holding you when she helped you to her room last night. But that was different, you know that, so reluctantly you keep your hands to yourself.

'Not anymore.' You say. It pretty much stopped hurting two minutes after she had slapped you but you don't want to tell her that. Some part of you wants her to feel bad about what she did, and the other part just wants her to apologise to you.

'You don't know how to apologise do you?' You ask curiously. Santana doesn't answer, instead she's pulling back the covers and she's getting out of bed. 'What are you doing?'

'Well if you're going to be in here all day I'm gonna have to shut you up somehow.' She smirks and walks over to the tv sitting on her red dresser on the opposite side of the room. You hadn't really noticed it was there since the screen was covered by a grey hoodie that had been thrown over the top of it. You smile when you realise she just gave you permission to stay in her bed all day. You really don't want to have to go back to your room after spending a night in here.

You blush a little when your gaze focuses back on Santana and you notice what she's wearing, or lack of. When she reaches the tv she bends down slowly to open the bottom drawer of her dresser. Your breath hitches when you catch those gorgeous tan abs again. This time she's wearing a red lace bra and a pair of loose dark grey sweats. Your mouth goes a little dry when you realise that you were sleeping next to a half-naked Santana all night and you didn't even know it. 'What kind of movies do you like?'

Your eyes reluctantly travel back up her body to see that she is holding about five dvds in her arms, flicking through them lazily. It's like she's not even aware of what she's wearing. You think about mentioning it to her so she can put a shirt on but for some reason you decide against it. It is her room after all. Telling her to put on clothes in her room would just be rude.

'Disney!' You shout excitedly. Santana's head rolls to the side slowly and she looks at you with raised eyebrows. You gulp. Yeah Santana probably doesn't have any Disney movies. 'Um…Horror?'

'That's better.' She smirks.

**:)**

**xx**


	7. Chapter 7

_**These reviews and follows are just making me want to update more and more to keep you guys happy! Thank you so much for the love and support:)**_

_**JadeTheManatee: Glad to hear you're starting to get into it!**_

_**Nevaehnhell: I've recently rediscovered Dr Suess from when I was little and I love it haha**_

_**Journey2somewhere: you will find out the answer to your concern in this chapter. Thank you so much for all the kind words, I'm so pleased you're enjoying this fic! Thanks for reviewing:) Xx**_

_**Zurrli: you'll have to wait and find out! Haha. Yeah I think it's nice that Santana just lets Brittany say her random stuff without calling her out on it all the time. thanks for the review!:)**_

_**Shyvonne x : haha thank you! your review was so sweet:)xx**_

_**Pourwords: I hope this one leaves you smiling too:)**_

_**44GlenCoco: good to hear!**_

_**Jrzygurl89: you will find out about Britt this chapter!**_

_**Ilustelise: I really glad you like the pace of the story because I've been worrying that people are getting bored with not much happening romantically between them yet, but trust me that will come at the right time!**_

_**Katiek28: Thanks for the review I'm glad you like the last chapter! We will definitely be seeing more or Santana's walls coming down and finding out some more about both of them:)xx**_

_**Stoicxcat: I wrote a longer chapter for you this time! it's not as long as I would have liked it to be but it's much longer than the last one anyway. Hope you enjoy it:)**_

_**Glee4ever123: And hang out all day they shall!**_

_**ScarlettDancer: Santana reveals a little this chapter but it will be a slow process to get it all out of her. Thanks for reviewing:)**_

_**BrittzTana: how would you like their first kiss to happen?;P**_

_**Don't own glee.**_

You almost jump out of your skin when you hear the front door slam shut.

'That's just the guys leaving.' Santana states from next to you. You let out a breath of relief and sink back into your position on Santana's bed. You're both sitting up against the bed head with the pillows behind your back for comfort.

You were impressed when Santana didn't just leave you in her room to watch the movie by yourself but instead she's sat with you the whole time. For a moment you thought it was because she enjoyed your company but she hasn't really taken her eyes off the screen yet so you think she probably just really likes this movie.

In the end you had to choose between _Road Kill_ or _Nightmare on elms street_. You chose _Road Kill_ because you didn't like the idea of anything to do with nightmares, you have enough of those as it is. But now you're kind of regretting your decision.

The scene that's playing now is a car chase.

You can feel the sweat cover your palms and you close your eyes tight. You want this scene to be over, or you want it to stop, either one. Closing your eyes didn't really help because now you're so focused on the sounds coming from the tv. The screams, the revving of the engines, the tyre skids. You want it to stop. You can feel your heart beat pick up as you imagine a different scene, one that seems much more real to you than any movie could ever capture. The sounds are getting louder now.

In a desperate act to get away from the pain surging through your body you fling yourself to the left. You collide with the side of Santana who flinches in fright but you don't have time to care, you just bury your face in the crook of her neck and curl yourself into her body, almost like you're trying to mold into her.

Santana goes stiff. Her whole body feels like an ice statue. You know you're making her uncomfortable but you can't back away just yet. You can still hear the screams.

'Um are you okay?' You hear her ask, just loud enough for you to hear over the tv.

'Can we skip this part?' You cry into her skin. You hadn't even realised you were crying until you tried to speak. It's a moment before you feel her move a little. She was probably trying to figure out what was happening with you.

You can feel the tears run down your cheeks as you hear the shouting and the crashing from the tv.

And then just like that, it's gone. You're plunged into silence with only the sound of your sobs and Santana's heavy breathing filling the room. You hadn't even noticed she was breathing so hard, you wonder if it was because you were in distress and she was freaking out about what was happening, or If it was because she was freaking out that your face was still flush against the skin of her neck.

With each exaggerated breath in you get another hit of Santana's perfume and very very slowly, it starts to calm you.

'Uh, it's over.' Santana coughs awkwardly.

You close your eyes tighter because you know it's over but you don't really want to leave Santana's body just yet. She's radiating heat and even though she's not holding you in any way it still makes you feel safe, and you want to bottle up that feeling and save it forever. But you can't. So reluctantly, you pull away and straighten up a little.

'Sorry.' You say without looking at her.

You sit in silence for a few minutes, softly sobbing into the palms of your hands. For once you don't really care what Santana thinks of you. You haven't cried like this for about a month, you deserve it and Santana's judgemental eyes aren't going to stop you.

'You're crying.'

'Yes.' You chuckle through a sob. You don't really know why you thought that was funny, maybe because it was so obvious.

Reluctantly, you look back to Santana when you feel the bed dip and then spring back up. You frown as you watch her slowly walk towards her door, slipping on the grey hoodie you saw hung over her tv earlier. Is she really just going to leave you here like this?

'Where are you going?'

Santana stops and spins around like she's shocked she's been caught. She kind of looks like she's been sprung sneaking out to a party. You would have laughed at her expression if you weren't so shocked yourself.

'Um, don't you want to like be alone or something?' She says slowly. You know she's uncomfortable, but you don't really care. People comfort each other when they're upset, that's like human nature. They don't just turn the other way when someone's in need. Does Santana not know that?

'Can you stay?' You ask quietly. You definitely don't want to be alone right now, you've been alone for too long.

'Why?' Santana asks. You sigh deeply as the tears keep slowly falling down your face, and you look at her as if to say: _really, you're arguing with me right now?_

'Sorry.' Santana mumbles. You don't look at her as she walks towards the bed. She's moving so slowly you know she has absolutely no idea what she's doing, but the fact that she's doing it anyway is enough to make you feel better.

You let out a small sigh when she sits down next to you on the bed and you breathe in that vanilla and cinnamon smell. So soothing.

She's not touching you but again just her proximity is calming you and you hope that might be enough to get you through.

You both sit in silence for minutes, hell it could have been half an hour for all you know. The room was only filled with the crackle of broken breaths and the sound of your nails scratching at Santana's bed covers. She didn't say anything. You were kind of expecting her to at least ask you what was going on but she was still sitting next you, frozen as a popsicle and not making a sound. For a minute there you wondered if she was actually still breathing because you didn't see her chest rise or her lips move, but then again you were trying not to look at her, so maybe she was breathing really slowly.

After god knows how much time, you eventually feel your tears come fewer and fewer, your breaths are more even, and your chest isn't hurting so bad. You take a deep breath, watching your hand pick at the fabric of Santana's black doona cover, and you begin to speak.

'My parents were in a car crash four months ago.' You say quickly. It was spoken softly but after so long without sound your voice felt like you were speaking through a mega-phone or something. You were thankful when Santana didn't jump in fright. Well, it was lucky actually because she's so tense she could probably jump through the ceiling in a single leap.

'Are they okay?' You hear Santana whisper. Your breath hitches and it's not just because you weren't expecting her to speak so soon but because the answer to that question just shot a dagger through your heart.

Your hands clench tightly around the covers as you will the tears to stay away. But they come anyway.

_Are they okay?_

You've known the answer to that question ever since the day a cop car pulled up outside the building where you took dance classes. Sometimes when you shut your eyes, you can still see that same car.

'I used to take dance classes at this place around the corner from my school every Tuesday and Thursday afternoons.' You start slowly. From the corner of your eye you can see Santana nodding her head even though she probably was wondering how this answered her questions. You're thankful that she didn't say anything.

'Tuesday night was Hip Hop, and Thursday was Contemporary. That day was a Thursday.' You can feel your throat start to close over as your mind races back to months before but you try to push through it. 'Every Thursday my parents would make sure they got the early shift at work so they could come and watch me dance, my dad would finish work and drive to pick up my mom from the hospital after her shift finished. They usually only got there in time to watch the last half hour but that was always the best bit anyway because I got to go through the whole routine we learnt that day.'

You take in a shaky breath and your fingers unintentionally go back to picking at the fabric of Santana's covers again. There would probably be a hole there by the time you finish your story but Santana doesn't seem to care.

'So that Thursday, when I finished my class and looked around but couldn't see my parents in the room anywhere, I didn't really think much of it because they must have been caught up at work. Dad being a cop and mom being a nurse I got kind of used to the fact that if they said their shift finished at 5pm that they probably wouldn't actually leave work for another hour or so.'

'A-Anyway. I was waiting out the front because I figured they would just come pick me up when they finished work, but uh…they never came. I contemplated just walking home but that would take over an hour and dad never liked me walking by myself at night, so I waited. And it wasn't until a police car pulled up in front of me that I started to get a little worried…at first I thought my dad had just taken his work car home but in the back of my mind I think I always knew it wasn't him.'

Santana was still tense beside you but as your story went on you could hear her breathing get heavier and heavier. You knew by now she probably just wanted to bolt out of the room and never look back but you're so greatful that she hasn't. She just sat there with you and listened, that's all you could have ever asked her for.

'He asked me if I was Brittany Pierce, and I said yes. H-he then put his hand on my shoulder and he started t-talking so fast I could only figure out half of what he was actually saying. But what I heard loud and clear was that my parents had been in a car crash. I didn't even get a chance to ask if they were okay before he told me.'

You take another shaky breath.

'So…_are they okay_?' You breathe. The tears had accumulated fast, you try to breathe them back but it's too late, they were already falling like a waterfall down your cheeks. 'My dad died instantly. But my mom, they c-couldn't stop the bleeding a-and…I just.'

Your vision's blurred from all the tears but you don't need that to know that Santana was quickly shuffling closer to you, and a second later you had tan arms wrapping tightly around your body. Your head buried into her shoulder. You could feel tears seeping into her grey hoodie but you couldn't find it in yourself to care about that at all.

Santana's the first person you've talked to about this. The school counsellor tried to get you to talk but she was so focussed on making you better straight away that she wouldn't listen to what you actually had to say, instead she just fired off solutions like it was so easy to overcome, like every teenager went through this kind of heartache.

But Santana's just holding you, she's holding you so tight you feel like nothing could break her grip and you think this is probably the safest you have felt since the accident. People have hugged you since the accident, mostly your parents work colleagues or neighbours, but no one has actually just held you before. You don't know what she's thinking or what she's feeling but you don't really care right now, as long as she doesn't let go of you.

'I miss them so much.' You choke. Your hands come to grab at Santana's hoodie, pulling the material tight around her stomach as you cry into her shoulder. 'They were my best friends. A-and now I have no one.'

'Is that why you moved here?' You hear Santana whisper. Hearing her voice startles you a bit but eventually you nod into her shoulder.

'Our family didn't have a lot of money, so I packed what I had and set out to follow my dream. I didn't really have anything else anymore, I only have my dream. I missed so much school that I couldn't graduate, and I didn't want to go back for another year. I d-didn't know where else to go.'

'You still dance?' Santana asks quietly. 'Even after what happened…'

'Me dancing didn't kill my parents Santana, it was the guy in the other car who didn't understand that red means stop.' You explain softly. 'My parents loved to watch me dance, it made them so happy, and I want them to be looking down on me and smiling. That's why I dance everyday.'

Well you would dance everyday if your foot wasn't so sore!

Oh…you had kind of forgotten about that.

'How's your foot feeling?' Santana asks. It must have been on her mind too.

You wiggle your foot a little but you don't get too far before your face is scrunching up in pain.

'The same.' You pout.

Santana uses one arm to pull the blanket up your legs until your ankle is revealed. You smile because she still has her other arm wrapped tightly around your waist.

'I think we should get it checked out by a doctor, it's still pretty swollen.' She says.

You roll your eyes a little. 'I can't really afford that right now Santana.'

After two days out from dancing you don't even think you'll be able to afford rent this week, that's the bigger problem.

'But I can.' Santana says and squeezes your waist. You lift your head from her shoulder and look into her eyes. She's smiling and you want to smile back but you can't let her pay for something like that. It's too much, she's already done enough. 'Hey I ate all your food, let's call it even okay?'

You chuckle a little at that, already feeling your eyes start to dry.

'Okay.' You say quietly. That seems fair.

You pout a little when Santana's arms loosen around you and then she's getting up from the bed. You wipe under your eyes and watch as she grabs a pair of jeans off the floor. Your eyes go wide when you realise she's about to change her pants so you quickly look somewhere else. Your gaze turns back to the tv and it's only now you see that Santana actually turned the whole movie off instead of just skipping the scary part.

'Come on Sunshine, lets go.'

You turn your attention back to her and see that she's put her jeans on. You think you should probably change too because you're still wearing your sweats from yesterday but the thought of getting jeans over your ankle is enough to put you off.

You pull back the covers and wriggle your way to the edge of the bed. Santana holds out her hands and helps you stand up. It's only now that you're standing up that you actually look to your ankle. Oh…it is still very much swollen.

You smile to yourself when Santana takes up the same position she held you in last night when she helped you to her room. Your smile leaves however, when your eyes glance over the damp spot on her shoulder from your tears. You can feel a lump form in your throat at the memory, you can't believe you did that.

She helps you down the hall and through the living room with no problems, it's only when you reach the stair case that you stop. Not this again. It was bad enough coming up the stairs with Sugar, now you're going down and there's a greater risk you'll fall flat on your face.

You sigh because you have to get this over with sooner or later, there's no other way down. You take a step forward, balancing yourself on Santana, until you successfully reach the first step.

'Now come on Sunshine, I thought you would be a bit more creative than that.'

You turn to Santana in question and watch her smirk. You're about to ask what the hell she is talking about but then she's letting go of you and you quickly shuffle backwards to rest against the wall.

'What did you do that for?' You ask in annoyance but she doesn't answer. Instead she just winks at you and hops up on her tip toes to sit on the hand railing.

'Watch and learn.' She smirks before lifting her feet up and sliding down the stair case at a speed you wouldn't think possible for someone of her small size. Your mouth hangs open in shock. It looks like she's done that more often than not.

When she reaches the end she jumps off in victory and spins around, that devilish smirk still firmly in place. Right.

'Are you scared Bambi?' Santana teases. You roll your eyes at her and hobble over to the railing.

'No.' You used to slide down the railing all the time at home. You are kind of worried about landing on your foot though. 'Catch me?'

Santana thankfully doesn't tease you further, she just nods while smiling. 'Done.'

You even surprise yourself when you don't second guess her intentions and hop up on the railing straight away, you know she's going to catch you. The fact that she's widening her stance and crouching down a bit is probably a good sign too. So you lift up your feet slowly, and gasp as you take off down the stairs. You've missed this feeling, it was like you were a kid again.

You burst into a chuckle as you come to the end, deciding that the best way for Santana to catch you is to just wrap your legs around her waist and she can hold you up. Santana looked a little confused as you raced towards her with spread legs but she got the idea quick enough and soon she was wrapping her arms around you and holding you up by the back of your thighs. Your hands flung around her neck while your legs locked into place behind her back.

Santana looked a little shocked at first but when she saw you were still laughing she eventually joined in. She even gave your thighs a playful squeeze.

You try not to think about how close your bodies are to each other as she carries you around the corner to the next railing. She places you on the wooden plank with a smile and you reluctantly let her get away from you so she can slide down before you. You grip the railing tightly so you don't slide down before she's ready to catch you.

You keep going like this until you finally reach the lobby. Santana catches you and you giggle as she carries you to the door that leads to the underground car park. You think there must be more stairs but when you open the door for her you see it's just a ramp. You think Santana would put you down but she doesn't. Instead she runs down the ramp as fast as she can and you gasp in shock. Santana's laughing loudly in your ear and it hits you that this is the first time you've ever heard her laugh like this, so you let go of the fear of crashing into something at full speed and you laugh along with her.

You keep laughing as she carries you to her car which thankfully is only two cars away. She places you slowly back on the ground and you pout a little when she lets go of you completely and fishes out her keys from her back pocket. You steady yourself against her car, already missing the warmth of her body, it was like a really long extended hug.

Santana unlocks the car and helps you into the passenger seat. You go to say thankyou but she shuts the door on you before you have the chance.

The car ride to the hospital is kind of slow. You think maybe Santana's car isn't very good because it doesn't go very fast. It might be because she doesn't keep It in good shape though. The dash board is full of fast food wrappers and empty beer cans and the coin compartment is stretched out and full of cigarette buds and ash. As you look around you can see that the roof of the car is rusting in some areas and windows whistle like there's a whole somewhere in the glass, you just can't work out where. You wonder why her parents didn't give her money for a better car.

'Do your parents not earn much money either?' You ask curiously.

'My dad's a doctor and my mom's a lawyer.' Santana says. You're pretty sure they make a lot of money, but why wouldn't they give some to their daughter? 'You're not the only one who's had to find their own way.'

You look to Santana but she's got her eyes firmly trained on the road. Her brow is creased and you want to know why she looks like she's about to punch a wall or something. But judging by the look on her face, this might be one of those times where you leave her alone, and maybe change the subject.

'Almost there.' Santana sighs as she rolls around the corner at a snails pace. You've already been tooted about four times by people trying to hurry you up, but Santana just glares at them through the mirror and keeps her pace.

'I never would have picked you to drive like a grandma.' You giggle. Badass Santana going under the speed limit.

You laugh lightly when you see the blush that spreads across her cheeks. She looks at you quickly before looking back at the road.

'I didn't want to scare you.' She says quietly, so quietly you only just catch it. You stop laughing immediately. It takes you a second to think of why but then you remember the information you just dumped on her in her room, and it occurs to you that she's driving so slowly because she doesn't want you to feel like you're going to be in a crash or something.

A warmth floods your chest and you want to reach over and hug her but that might be a little dangerous. You feel like you should at least tell her that you're not scared of being in a car but she's acting so sweet that you don't want her to stop, and you don't want her to be embarrassed for caring about you.

'Thank you.' You say instead. Santana doesn't say anything, she just shrugs her shoulders and leans over to turn the radio up.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

You're tapping the pen anxiously against the form in your lap, wondering what to do. You feel Santana shuffle closer to you in her seat and she whispers to you in the waiting room.

'What's wrong?'

You sigh and drop the pen onto your lap.

'They want to know my emergency contact…It used to be mom.' You explain. Santana makes an 'oh' sound but doesn't really offer any help. 'Can I put you down?'

'What?' Santana says loudly and gets shushed by the nurse at her station. 'Why?' She whispers angrily. You don't really know why she's angry.

'Well we live together, so…' You explain. You don't want to say you don't have anyone else, but you think she probably already knows that.

'Yeah you don't want to put my name down, if I get a phone call I'll probably be too wrecked to even answer. Why don't you put your boyfriend's name down or something?'

Oh shit. Sam. You should probably call or text him at some point today. You haven't spoken to him since you cancelled lunch yesterday so he might be worried.

You shake your head and bring yourself back to the present. Whether Santana likes it or not, she's the only one you can count on right now, so she doesn't have much choice.

'I trust you.' You say as you write down _Santana Lopez _as your emergency contact.

You look back to Santana and you can see that she's trying to look pissed off, but the small smile edging at her lips is giving her away.


	8. Chapter 8

_**Zurrli: and I love you for reviewing! I'm glad you liked the chapter:)**_

_**Kay: wow thank you for complimenting my writing, that's insane! Thank you:)**_

_**msHeatherette: your questions will be answered I promise! But maybe not for a few chapters so I hope you can hang in there and try not to think about it too much:/**_

_**caroloveles: then you shall get more my love!**_

_**Katiek28: thank you! I'm so happy you are loving this fic:) and I agree with what you said about Santana being nicer than what she gives herself credit for. :) xx**_

_** .java: I am going to try my hardest not to fasten the pace of the story, it's certainly not my intention so if I start doing it just tell me to stop haha. And I might be able to do something about that cuddling request;)**_

_**Glee4ever123: I know you don't like Sam but I can assure you that you won't have to put up with much from him. Thank you so much for the review I'm glad you liked cute Santana:) xx**_

_**Whoathere1233: thank you very much!:)**_

_**BrittzTana: I'm glad you liked the stair scene because I just wrote that in as I went. Brittany has no siblings and your other questions will be answered in due time. Hopefully it won't bother you too much not knowing at the moment:/ I might have a little plan for a kiss;)**_

_**Luceroadorada: Glad you liked it! Thanks for reading and reviewing:) xx**_

_**Don't own glee.**_

'Not broken'

That's pretty much all you heard as the doctor rambled off about your injury, after that you were so relieved that you didn't pay much attention. You just sat on the high bed and watched as he taped your ankle, wincing whenever he put on too much pressure. You think after a while he figured you weren't paying much attention to him because he started talking directly to Santana. She looked shocked at first but started nodding her head along with his words. You giggled a little because it looked like she was taking this 'emergency contact' thing very serious. She shot you a glare when she heard you laugh though so you kept your mouth zipped after that.

Later, while you were in the car, Santana told you that you had sprained your ankle badly and that you'd need to rest it with ice again. You groaned at that. You had sprained your ankle badly once before and you were out from dancing for over a week. You can't afford that now.

The doctor gave you crutches so you didn't have to rely on Santana so much to get to the apartment, but when you got to the stairs she took them off you so you could hold onto the hand rail and her shoulder to steady yourself.

When you finally got into the apartment Santana led you back to her room and told you to rest in her bed for the remainder of the day. You couldn't help the smile that spread across your face when she put ice over your ankle and then tucked the covers back over your legs. She was being unbelievably cute today but you couldn't tell her that for fear that she would get embarrassed and stop it.

Your smile left though when she told you she was going to work. You had been hoping she would climb into bed with you again and watch a movie or something, maybe a not so scary movie. You pouted as she turned on the tv for you, got changed, and then left without a goodbye.

You watched re-runs of the Simpsons for a few hours, shifting every now and then when the ice started making your leg numb, when suddenly you got a text from Sam.

_FromSam: Hey Brittany! How have you been?_

_ToSam: Hi Sam! Okay I'm still resting my foot so I haven't been able to dance or anything:(_

_FromSam: Does that mean you wouldn't be up for dinner tonight?_

You thought about that for a minute. You really did want to go see Sam, you don't want him to think that you don't like him or anything because you do. But the thought of getting dressed and then getting down those stairs without any help is kind of daunting. You wish Santana was home so she could help you again.

But you guess you haven't seen him for a while so you should really make the effort.

You're about to reply when you get another text.

_FromSantana: Leaving work now._

A smile instantly spreads across your face. You don't really know why but you've missed your housemate like crazy ever since she left for work. You're so happy she's coming home that you don't even think before sending back a completely cheesy reply.

_ToSantana: Yayy I've been so bored without you!_

You blush a little at your excitement but then you think, ugh whatever. When you click back into Sams message you tap the screen a few times, trying to figure out what to say. Now that Santana's coming home you could get her to help you with getting dressed and getting down the stairs…or you could just re-schedule with Sam and stay in this super comfy bed…

_ToSam: Sorry Sam I'd love to, but maybe when I can walk better?_

You feel bad for ditching him again, but you were told to rest your ankle by a doctor.

_FromSam: That's okay. Maybe next week then:) _

_ToSam: yes definitely! Good night Sam:) xx_

Sighing contently, you relax back into the bed and let time pass until Santana comes home.

XXXXXXXXX

You get through another two episodes of the Simpsons before you finally hear the front door open and close. You sit up a little in bed, trying not to bounce in excitement, and wait for that bedroom door to open. It takes a while but when that door swings open and you see Santana wink at you a smile instantly spreads across your whole face.

'How's the foot?' She asks as she walks into the room, dropping some bags on the floor and taking off her red coat.

'I don't know, can you have a look?' You ask. It still feels a little numb even though you're sure most of the ice would have melted by now.

Santana lifts up the covers and glances down at your ankle.

'It looks like it's going down a bit.' She says while dropping the covers back down. 'Have you been putting the ice on for twenty minutes and taking it off for twenty minutes?'

'Yes.' You blush. Okay so you kind of forgot about that and now your leg feels numb but you don't want Santana to think you're stupid for forgetting.

'Good.' She says. 'Oh, this is for you.' She bends down and picks up the bags from the floor. Your eyes go wide when she hands you a Burger King bag which smells so delicious it makes your mouth water. 'And I got some Disney movies.'

Santana starts going through the other bag as you stare at her in shock. She pulls out three movies and starts flicking through them like she's never seen them before.

'You didn't –' You start to say but she cuts you off almost immediately.

'I wanted to.' She states and gestures for you to eat. You are really hungry. 'What do you wanna watch first?'

She holds up the movies for you to see as you dive your hand into the Burger King bag, pulling out some fries. Cinderella, the Little Mermaid, or Aladin.

'Little mermaid, duh.' You say. That's always been your favourite.

Santana chucks the others on the floor and walks over to the tv, turning it on and slipping in the disc. You dig into the meal she bought you. You don't know if this is Santana apologising for eating all your food or if she feels sorry for you after what you told her about your parents, or maybe she could just be being nice, but whatever it is you're thankful that she is at least trying.

Santana strips off her work shirt and slides into bed next to you. You think it's funny that she always comes home from work and the first thing she does is take off her shirt, it's not like it's warm in the apartment but Santana's skin always feels so warm so maybe she just always feels hot.

'You're staring again.'

Your eyes flicker back up to Santana's to see her smirking. You roll your eyes and hear her chuckle at you.

'I wouldn't stare so much if you put some clothes on.' You say back.

'Hey if you're gonna stay in my room you have to deal with my rules, rule number one: No shirts.' Santana explains as she settles into bed for the movie. The light from the tv is shining over her abs and chest and you think she does look pretty good like that. Maybe you could give it a go.

You put the rest of your meal on the bedside table next to you and you bring your arms up to take off your tank top. You can feel Santana's eyes on you as you throw your shirt off the bed and onto the floor. You look back to Santana and watch smugly as her eyes unashamedly roam over your body and your pink bra. You feel like you should be nervous by her gaze but instead you feel confident, you know your body is hot, you've learnt to be confident in your body from dancing.

'Santana?' you say after a moment because she's still staring at you. You smile when she shakes her head a little and then her eyes are meeting yours. 'The movie has started.'

You hold back a giggle when her eyes snap back to the tv and her cheeks redden.

'Shut up.' She mumbles.

You like her when she's like this. Playful. Most of the time she's in a bad mood when she finishes work. She's either got Puck attached to her body or she's got a bottle of scotch in her hand. You tilt your head curiously when you realise she doesn't have either of those things tonight.

'Is Puck coming over tonight?' You ask. If she's not drinking maybe Puck has come back from his brothers and will be staying here tonight. You frown at the thought of going back to your room.

'No, he comes back tomorrow.' Santana says.

You nod your head and try and hide your smile. She's doesn't feel like she needs to drink because you're here. Your chest fills with warmth and you want to hug her again but you can't do that because you're afraid if you call her out she will get defensive again and make you leave. And you definitely don't want to leave.

Maybe if you kept sleeping in her bed you could get her to stop drinking so much?

But she'll probably kick you out once your foot is better…

'The crab talks?'

'Huh?' You say. You weren't really paying attention. When you glance to Santana she has her eyes trained on the tv so you look back to it.

'Oh! That's Sebastian, he's Ariels friend.' You explain.

'Okay.' Santana chuckles and you settle back into the bed to watch your favourite movie and eat the Burger King Santana got you. It's the first time in a long time you actually feel back at home.

XXXXXXXXX

'Are you tired?'

You nod your head and slide further down the bed until your head is resting on the pillow.

'Yeah.' You yawn.

You hear Santana shuffle around until she finds the remote and then you're plunged into darkness. She really should replace her light globe soon so it's not so dramatic when she turns the tv off.

Santana kept asking questions throughout the movie _like 'why wouldn't she just whip that sea bitch in the face with her tail and then steal all her potions?' _or_ 'as if you would fall in love with someone who couldn't talk to you?'_

You didn't mind all the talking, in fact you thought it was nice that she was actually paying attention to the movie. She kept acting like she didn't like it but you could see the smile on her face every time they sung or whenever the seagull was on screen. She thought he was funny.

Santana shuffles down the bed too until she's level with you. You can only just see the outline of her body from the moons gaze seeping through the blinds but it's enough to notice how she takes her pillow from underneath her head and brings it around to her chest again. You frown because that has to be bad for her neck to sleep without a pillow all night. You wonder if she hugs that pillow when Puck stays over or if maybe she hugs him instead. Maybe she could hug you now that you're here?

'Thank you for looking after me today.' You say into the darkness. You know she couldn't have gone to sleep already so you just wait for her reply.

'No problem.' She mumbles into the mattress.

'Are we friends?' You ask. You feel like you are friends. You've never really had an actual best friend, well not since like elementary school, but you imagine that they would help each other out like this. You imagine they would take you to the doctor when you hurt yourself and they would spend all day watching movies with you and talking with you. Yeah, Santana must be your best friend.

'I don't need friends.' Santana sighs.

You bite your lip and try not to let those words hurt you.

'I could use a friend.' You whisper.

Santana takes a moment to reply but when she does you smile.

'Okay.'

You want to bounce up and down on the bed but somehow you manage to restrain yourself. It doesn't stop you from smiling though because in this light you know she has no idea just how wide your grin is, and that's probably a good thing. You don't want Santana thinking you're weird and get really excited over just one friend, but it is kind of a big deal for you. You feel like you should tell her all your secrets and ask her to tell you hers but you think that might be moving a little fast. But you can ask for a favour right? Friends do that.

'As my friend can I ask you a favour?'

'No.' Santana replies instantly. She sounds tired but you don't care, you're not letting her go to sleep like that.

'Instead of hugging that pillow, could you maybe hug me?' You ask quietly.

'Uh…'

'And before you ask why, it's because I feel safe with you.'

It's silent for a moment, actually longer than a moment. You can still hear Santana breathing so you know she heard you. After a while you gather that she's not going to reply so you boldly decide to take matters into your own hands.

You shuffle towards her and grip around the pillow she's holding to her chest. You tug at it a little and almost immediately she lets it go. Smiling in triumph, you put the pillow back at the head of the bed and Santana quickly moves to put it under her head. You really wish you could see her facial expressions right now, you imagine they would be shocked or freaked out, so maybe it's a good thing that you can't.

When Santana settles again you shuffle forward until you can feel her breath on your face. The feeling sends a shiver down your spin. You don't think you would be able to sleep in that position with her face so close to yours so you decide to turn the other way. You roll so your back is to Santana and then you slowly move backwards until you can feel her flush against your back.

You can feel Santana tense and hold her breath and to be honest you're kind of holding yours too. But you have to be the confident one, it was your wise idea in the first place.

You slowly reach behind you and feel around Santana's frozen body until you find her arm. You bring it back over your body and drape it gently across your stomach. It feels like you're trying to cuddle with a robot she's so stiff.

'Santana, I know you're a better hugger than this.' You tease, trying to make her relax a little. You smile to yourself when it actually works and you feel her let out a deep breath against the back of your neck. It sends tingles through your body when you feel the hot air brush over your skin. And then she's shuffling impossibly closer and she's tightening her arm around your waist until you're moulded into each other. You're suddenly reminded about the no shirts rule when you feel her hot skin pressed against yours and your breath hitches.

'I'm sorry for hitting you, it won't happen again.' Santana says after a few minutes of comfortable silence. 'Promise.'

'You shouldn't make promises you can't keep.' You smile as you relay her words back from a few days earlier.

'I don't.' She whispers against your neck. You shiver at the feeling and Santana pulls you closer, probably thinking you were cold.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

The next morning you wake up with a smile on your face. You had the best sleep last night and you know without a doubt it was because Santana had been holding you so closely the entire night. You didn't dream of your parents for the first time since the accident, and that was something to smile about.

When you open your eyes you're shocked to see that you had changed positions during the night. No longer was Santana cuddling you from behind but now she laid flat on her back and your arm was sprawled across her stomach, your head resting on her shoulder. It was an intimate position and you wondered if best friends slept like this also.

The covers had dragged down your bodies in your sleep to reveal Santana's tan stomach. Without much thought the arm across her middle pulls back a little until you're tracing the outline of her abs with the tips of your fingers. You had kind of wanted to do this ever since you met her and you can't believe you've actually gotten the chance to now.

Your hand stills when you feel her stomach muscles clench and then unclench a few times. Your eyes follow back up her body until they meet brown eyes. Santana's laughing lightly and you blush because she must have caught you, but she doesn't say anything, so you don't stop.

'Morning Sunshine.' She smiles.

You notice how happy she is and how early she wakes up when she hasn't been drinking.

'Morning.' You smile back. Your hand traces down the middle line of her stomach until it's about to disappear under the covers and then you bring it back up again slowly. Santana doesn't say anything, she just watches you. 'Can I ask you a question?'

'You just did.'

You roll your eyes at her and she chuckles.

'Do you actually know what my name is?' You were sure you told her when you met but she's never actually called you by your name so she might have forgotten.

'Yes.' Santana says evenly, you know she's smirking to herself.

'Okay. Just checking.' You sigh. At least she does know your name, she just chooses not to say it. 'Can I give you a nickname?'

'No.' She states firmly but you just wave that off. If she can give you one you should be able to give her one.

'If I'm sunshine you can beee…lightning.' You decide.

'Lightning?' Santana laughs. 'Because I can kill you with one strike?'

You don't laugh along with her because that's nowhere near why you chose that nickname. You start pitter-patting your finger tips along her ribs until you reach the dip that smooths out into her stomach, enjoying the way her muscles move under your touch.

'Because I never saw you coming.' You say quietly.

Santana doesn't say anything but that's okay because you weren't really expecting her to. You meant what you said. You moved to New York in hopes of becoming a famous dancer and meeting new friendly people who you could go out on coffee dates with and talk about fashion and music with.

Never in a million years did you expect to be living with a girl who teases you , drinks until she passes out, does cocaine with her friends, smokes, and spends most of her time avoiding you. Back at home you would never even thought that a person like Santana existed, but now you do, and you shock yourself when you miss her after she goes to work, or you find yourself thinking about her when you're dancing. And now you're lying next to this girl with your fingers gliding over her hot skin and you decide that you wouldn't want to be anywhere else right now. You feel like you're stroking a lion which could at any moment rip your head off but instead of scaring you it makes you excited and your heart beat faster.

Yes, you never saw Santana Lopez coming. But you are so glad she made it.

'Your foot any better?' Santana asks after a long silence. You wiggle your foot a little and smile when you don't feel the need to wince in pain.

'I think so.'

'Let me see.' Santana gently pushes you off her and you frown for a second as you roll back but then you watch as she dips under the covers and her whole body disappears. Your body goes stiff when you feel her warm breath ghost over your exposed skin. Down your stomach, over your thighs, until finally she reaches your ankle and you can breathe again.

'It's gone down a lot, you should be able to walk today.' You hear muffled under the covers. A few seconds later Santana's head pops back out of the covers and rests on her pillow.

'Okay good…' You say sadly. You know what this means. Now you can't stay in her bed, there's no reason to. 'Well I guess I should be getting out of your bed then.'

You peel back the covers and reluctantly swing your legs over the edge of the bed.

'Wait, where are you going?' You hear her ask. You twist your body to face her. She's sitting up and supporting herself with her outstretched hand.

'To my room.' You say.

'There's nothing in there.' Santana states firmly. Well that's not true, your clothes are in there.

'Just…how bout until you get enough money to buy a bed, you can stay in here with me?'

Your heart leaps at the offer and you want to take it straight away but something stops you, and that something is Puck.

'What about Puck?' You ask. Would she kick him out just for you?

You watch as Santana's eyes go wide and then she bites down on her lower lip. Your heart sinks.

'…I didn't think about that.' She says quietly, almost as if she regrets her words.

'It's okay Santana, really. A couple more weeks on the floor won't kill me.' You reassure her.

She rolls her eyes at you as if she doesn't believe you and you think she might say something like '_oh the hell with Puck'_ but she doesn't, she just nods her head thoughtfully and stays silent.

'Well…you can stay in here for the rest of the day if you want to, at least until Puck comes over.' Santana offers.

You try to ignore the thought that she's kicking you out for her boyfriend and you just smile at her in thanks. You guess it would be a little unfair on him if she let you sleep in her bed every night…but you still don't like him. You think you like him even less now.

So you spend the rest of the morning sleeping next to Santana in her bed. You don't cuddle this time though, you've kind of lost your confidence in the bright light of day. But you did enjoy waking up every now and then to the sight of Santana's face inches away from yours, soundly sleeping. You had the thought of getting up and going for a walk but in the end you decided that watching Santana sleep was far more appealing.

At around lunch time Santana wakes and after looking at her phone she announces that she's going over to Pucks. You frown because that must mean he's back in town, and you probably won't be seeing Santana as much anymore.

When she leaves you sigh and decide you better get out of bed too. When you get up you can't find where you threw your top last night in amongst all of Santana's stuff so instead you pick up the grey hoodie she had been wearing and slip it on. You smile because it feels like Santana's giving you a big warm hug, you can still smell her perfume on it.

As you walk to the kitchen, slowly testing out your foot, you make a list of possible lunch ideas from the ingredients in the fridge. You come up with toast, peanut butter sandwich, or a cheese toastie by the time you reach the kitchen. Your eyes shoot open in shock however, when you open the fridge and it's stocked to the brim. You do a bit of a double take to make sure your eyes aren't just showing you what you'd like to see. You can't even remember the last time you saw so much food! Your mouth starts to water at just the sight of it.

So there's another reason Santana took so long coming home from work last night…

You smile to yourself at how hard she's trying to make it up to you and you're about to jump in and devour the whole fridge when you stop yourself. Maybe this food isn't actually for you? You don't want to do the same thing to Santana that she did to you and eat all her food.

You quickly pull out your phone and right a text.

_ToSantana: I see you bought some groceries?_

Subtle.

_FromSantana: Dig in before I get home with the munchies again;)_

Squealing in joy you throw your phone onto the counter and launch into the fridge.

You pull out a bag of pretzels and eat them as you look through the fridge and the pantry, deciding what you will have for lunch. There's so many delicious treats you wish you could fit it all in your body right now!

Eventually though you decide on making a wrap with chicken, lettuce, tomato, cheese, avacado, salsa, and sour cream. Yum. And for dessert you chew on a snickers bar. You think living with Santana is probably the best decision you've made. You don't know why Rachel didn't like it very much.

After lunch you make yourself actually go for a walk. You follow the same track you normally would to go to work and make a mental note to ask Santana to take you on a walk somewhere else so if you get lost she can help you back home. You're nearing times square when you get another text from her.

_FromSantana: Where are you?_

She must be back at the apartment.

_ToSantana: I went for a walk, I can come back?_

You start walking back before she even replies. You just want to see her again, maybe ask what she did at Pucks.

_FromSantana: Don't bother I'm about to go to work. Don't over do it on that ankle._

You pout when she says she's going to work. Damn. You think about turning back and saying hi to Sugar and showing her that you can walk now, but instead you think if you walk fast enough you might be able to say goodbye to Santana before she heads off to work.

So you walk as fast as you can, which really isn't that fast, and you climb up the staircase hoping that she will still be home.

She isn't.

'Santana?' you call when you enter the apartment. But there's no reply. You sigh and shake your head. Why are you acting like this? She's just your housemate. Okay so now she's your friend too but that doesn't mean you need to race home and risk injuring your ankle again just to catch a glimpse of her before she leaves. She obviously didn't need to see you before she left. You really don't want to scare her away so soon.

Cursing yourself you drag your feet over to the couch and slump down into the cushions. You watch tv for a few hours before you're tired enough to lie down on the bed you made yourself. But then an idea hits you, since Santana already knows where you sleep now you can sleep on the couch without her being suspicious!

You race to your room for your blanket and stop in your tracks when you see a black silk pillow lying over the top of it. You furrow your brows for a second. What is Santana's pillow doing in your room? You didn't put it there. But then it hits you and a smile spreads across your face.

_ToSantana: Thankyou_

_FromSantana: Don't know what you're talking about;)_

You smile to yourself as you wonder what Puck will be sleeping on tonight.

**xx**


	9. Chapter 9

_**So many reviews for last chapter, I feel so loved! Thank you to everyone who reviewed I'll try and answer some of your questions:)**_

_**Ducksticks: Thank you so much! I might have to add something about her boobs then;)haha. I'm glad you like how I'm betraying them both because I just really wanted to try a fic with them being complete opposites and I think it's working so far!:)**_

_**Iloveyounaynay: Thank you very much glad you like it!:)**_

_**msHeatherette: well if it puts your mind at ease a little you will find out a bit more about Brittany's situation next chapter! I'll try and mix up the spooning in later chapters! Hope you enjoy this one:)xx**_

_**ReturnToWonderland: you find out where she works this chapter!**_

_**Journey2somewhere: there's a little puck in this one but I do try and keep it to a minimal:/ hope you like it!**_

_**Pourwords: more sneaky sweetness in this one;)**_

_**Zurrli: yes they will! It'll happen slowly but most certainly they will!:)**_

_** .java: thank you very much you're so kind! I hope you enjoy this chapter**___

_**JLHarca: I like your jealous Santana idea, I'll work on that;)**_

_**Ortiz-alderete: you will see some action in a couple of chapters from now! **_

_**Glee4ever123: I'm going to apologise in advance for this chapter because I have a feeling you might not like some bits:/**_

_**BrittzTana: haha I know we will see Badass!Santana come back a little bit in this one.**_

_**Kay: I'm so happy you like that line! It was actually the last thing I added before I posted the chapter:)**_

_**Sorry I couldn't write back to everyone but thank you so much for all the reviews!**_

You startle awake when the apartment door slams shut. It takes you a moment to figure out where you are. You've been having that problem a lot lately. When you feel the silk pillow beneath your head you immediately think you're in Santana's bed again so you open your eyes in excitement only to be let down when you see the tv in front of you and the coffee table an arms length away. That's right, you slept on the couch last night.

You must admit it was a lot more comfy than sleeping on the floor and you actually got a semi-decent nights sleep but it was nowhere near as good as sleeping in Santana's bed. Sleeping in Santana's bed is like sleeping on a floating cloud filled with vanilla and cinnamon. You say semi-decent sleep because it was good until you got woken up by the moaning coming from down the hall, so you had to flip the pillow over your head and think about past dance routines until you eventually fell asleep.

You're starting to really get sick of hearing them, especially hearing Puck's groaning just puts you off completely, he sounds like he's dying. Maybe Santana's rough in bed?

No, you shake your head, weird thought.

You're pulling your small blue blanket closer to your body to shield yourself from the harsh morning air when your phone lights up on the coffee table. You reach over, cursing the weather when your hand comes into contact with the fresh air, and you snatch your phone to bring it close to your body.

_FromSantana: You awake?_

You smile and quickly type out a reply.

_ToSantana: Yes_

Within seconds your phone lights up again.

_FromSantana: He's gone. _

You're confused for a second but then you realise she must be talking about Puck. That would have been why the door woke you up earlier.

Re-reading her message again, wondering why she sent it, it suddenly dawns on you that this is her way of extending an invitation, and you are not about to pass that up.

You fling off your flimsy blanket and jump off the couch. You grab Santana's pillow and skip down to her room. You don't knock, instead you just race in with a huge smile on your face.

Santana doesn't watch you as you enter cautiously. Instead she's sitting up in bed lighting a smoke. You crinkle your nose at the smell that instantly spreads through the room in hopes that she will see your face and put it out, but she doesn't, in fact she watches you smugly like she's waiting for you to say something.

You don't say anything. You just wait by her bed until eventually she pats the covers next to her and you walk around to slide into her bed. As you settle in you notice she's wearing a baggy black t-shirt and you want to tell her there's a no shirts rule in this room but then you realise it's Pucks work shirt and suddenly you don't feel like making jokes.

'Nice hoodie.'

You blush when you look down and notice you're still wearing her grey hoodie you picked off her floor yesterday. You think she might be mad or make fun of you but she's just sitting there, quietly smirking to herself. So you just shrug your shoulders and figure if she wanted you to take it off she would tell you to.

'How was work last night?' You ask politely, watching as smoke leaves her lips and travels into the enclosed air. You notice it's one of those smokes that she's made herself. You've seen them on tv before, you're pretty sure it's got marijuana in it but you don't want to ask in case it's not and Santana gets mad at you.

'Shit.' Santana breathes out. What? Oh right, work.

'Why?' You ask. She always seems a little down after work but she's never told you about it before so you want to know more. You want to know why it was shit, was someone teasing her?

'Puck got into a fight with a regular, he's been suspended from work for the rest of the week.' She states while bringing the smoke back to her lips. 'It was kind of funny to watch though.'

'Is he okay?' You ask.

Santana rolls her eyes. 'He's fine. He was carrying on like a big baby though.'

You nod your head thoughtfully. If Puck got into a fight with a regular that means that maybe Santana does work at a bar…or maybe a restaurant?

'Santana, where do you work?' you blurt. It frustrates you that she knows so much about you already but you know next to nothing about her. Shouldn't friends tell each other these sorts of things?

You expect her to side step the question like she does about every other question about herself but surprisingly she doesn't. She laughs lightly as she blows out a puff of smoke.

'I work at _Beauty and the Beiste._' She says. You tilt your head at her and she must see your confusion so she clarifies. 'It's a burlesque club. I'm a bartender there.'

'Burlesque? So, like dancers?' You say excitedly. You don't know a hell of a lot about it but you've seen the movie and all you could think was _god I wish I could be one of those dancers_. You used to spend hours in your room trying to perfect the little snippets of routines you saw in the movie. You dreamed of being on a stage where people actually paid to watch you perform live every night. All the pretty outfits and the makeup and music. How has Santana not mentioned this before?!

You shift your whole body to face her but she doesn't seem to notice the excitement surging through your body because she just sits there, puffing away like she has the most boring job in the world.

'Yep.' She says slowly, not really paying much attention to the conversation.

'Can you get me a job there?' You ask quickly.

That gets her attention.

Her eyes snap back to yours. She looks like she's a mix between amused and shocked and if you weren't so serious about this you probably would have laughed at her expression. She chokes a bit on her last breath of smoke so you lean closer to her and gently pat her back while she coughs into her hand. You don't know why she's so shocked about this, she knew you were a dancer.

'Wow, okay.' Santana finally says once she's recovered from her little coughing attack. She looks back to you and chuckles a bit to herself. 'Um…I don't think it's your kind of dancing.'

You frown and tilt your head to the side. 'It's sexy right?'

Santana's eyes go wide and that makes you crack a smile. It's like she didn't even think you were capable of saying such a word. There's nothing wrong with being sexy though, or sex for that matter, without it where would we all be? Probably not here.

'Uh …yeah.' Santana says after a moment.

'I can dance sexy.' You say confidently.

Santana's looking at you again, but this time it isn't in shock but more quiet amusement. She probably doesn't believe that you can dance sexy, but that's so unfair because she's only ever seen you in your home clothes or your workout clothes so she must think you're just a gross sloth. If she saw you in a really nice dress or some tight fitting clothes she'd probably believe that you could dance sexy.

'Alright then, I'll ask Beiste when the next auditions are.' She smiles smugly at you.

You know she's only doing this to watch you fail but you don't care because all you can think about is being dressed in glitter and sparkles and dancing with other professional dancers on a real stage with real paying customers!...and maybe you're also thinking about wiping that smug look off of Santana's face.

'Thanks Santana!' You squeal and bounce up and down on the bed a few times.

'Now no talking, it's sleep time.' Santana waves you off as she leans away from you to put out her smoke and dump it in the beer bottle on her bedside table. You really have to get her to stop smoking so much. You worry about her health sometimes. At least she hasn't been drinking a lot lately, that's an improvement.

She slides down the bed until her head's on the pillow and you do the same. You watch contently as she scrunches the covers up to her chest to shield herself from the cold and closes her eyes. She actually looks really cute and it's making you not want to go to sleep just so you can watch her like this for a while longer.

'Santana?' You ask quietly. You don't want her to go to sleep just yet, you want her to keep talking to you.

'Mmm?' She hums with closed eyes. She's got a smirk on her face like she knows what you're about to ask her but she's going to make you ask anyway.

'Can you hold me again?' You ask quietly and watch Santana's lips try not to curl up. You decide that Santana must love your cuddles, maybe not as much as you do, but she has to at least enjoy it.

You do a mental fist pump when Santana slowly uncurls her arms from her body and pulls the covers away from her chest a little. Victory!

Not wasting this moment you scuttle forward along the mattress and turn around when you're close enough to her. She surprises you this time by wrapping her arm confidently around your middle and scooting closer until her front is pressed to your back. She uses her arm to bring the covers back up to your shoulders and then settles back behind you . Her head is so close to you that you can feel her warm breath ghost over the skin of your neck every time she exhales, it sends shivers down your spine.

'How'd you sleep last night?' She asks quietly.

'It was better with a pillow.' You say with a smile. 'Kind of cold though.'

'Cold?'

You feel her mould into you further and her face comes closer to your neck. You gulp. 'Yeah. I'm much warmer now, this bed is so comfy.'

'I'm sure anything is better than sleeping on the floor or the couch.' Santana sighs. She sounds sleepy but you don't know why because she only just woke up from a big sleep. She should be wide awake, kind of like you are right now.

'I guess. But I think your bed is more comfy than my bed back home…or maybe it's just you that's comfy.' You mentally curse yourself for your choice of words but they're already out in the air, you can't grab them back, and to be honest you probably wouldn't even if you could.

It's quiet for a moment and you think you might have crossed some sort of line. You squeeze your eyes shut and this time you really are hoping that Santana's gone to sleep. Your heart stops when she speaks.

'Did you hear us last night?' She asks quietly. She said it so simply she could have been talking about the weather or what tv show is on. Your eyes go wide and your mouth hangs open a little. You don't know how to respond. This is the Santana that you first met just weeks before with no filter and not a care in the world, you didn't know how to respond to that Santana, and you certainly don't know how to deal with this one. Just the thought of what she's referring to sends a jolt of heat through your body and you can feel it resting between your legs. You know what that heat is, you've felt it before, but you've certainly never felt it like this.

'Yeah.' You breathe. You don't know what else to say. She would have had to know you heard her, she was much louder last night than she has ever been as far as you could tell.

'Do you hear us every night?' She asks. You can almost hear her smirk. You want to get out of this bed and run back to your room to escape her torment but at the same time her body is warm against yours and it's making you feel all tingly inside. You know you should lie and tell her no but when she's this close to you your mind goes foggy and all you can think to say is the truth.

'Yes.' You breathe. You can feel your skin getting hotter, or maybe that's just the air in the room. You have a fleeting thought that maybe you inhaled some of that stuff Santana was smoking and it's making you feel funny, but when she edges her hand underneath the hoodie you're wearing until it makes contact with the warm skin of your stomach, you know it's her touch that's making you all hot and fuzzy.

'Do you like it?' She whispers directly into your ear. You didn't even know she had moved that close but then again the ceiling could have fallen on you in this moment and you probably wouldn't have battered an eyelid. She's so close. You can feel her everywhere and once again you're torn between tearing away from her and pulling her closer. You don't why she's doing this to you. You don't know what's happening. Did she just ask you if you like it?

'W-What do you mean?' You ask shakily. You curse the nerves in your voice.

'Do you like hearing me moan his name?' She breathes into your ear. You shudder when you feel her hand on your stomach slowly move upwards, leaving a trail of burning hot skin. You're frozen in place. The hand keeps travelling up slowly, taking the hoodie with it, until it reaches the top of your rib cage. It's only then that you realise you don't have a bra on and you feel like you should warn Santana about that but you can't find the words to speak. She seems to find out for herself though when her hand brushes against the underside of your breast and it stills. You gasp and hold your breath. Just that touch alone sent a throbbing between your legs and you feel the need to moan or groan but you can't and it's killing you.

You can finally breathe again when Santana's hand begins its trail back down your stomach.

'Do you wish you could watch us, or do you just use your imagination?' Santana continues. It doesn't seem like that contact startled her at all and that fact terrifies you. You desperately want to know what she's doing because if she doesn't stop soon you're pretty sure you're going to combust or explode or something.

'Santana…' You say. It's a weak plea and you groan when she giggles lightly in your ear.

'Do you wish you could watch us fuck?' She says confidently. Oh god. You usually hate it when she talks like that but for some reason those words set your whole body on fire and the hand tracing your abs is like an electric current surging through your muscles.

'S-Stop.' You plead quietly.

'Why?' Santana asks cockily. You can imagine the smug look on her face as her hand dips even lower on your stomach until it's playing with the hem of your shorts. Your mind goes into over drive then. It's too much, your body can't handle it anymore and suddenly you are jumping away from her.

'Santana!' You yell and roll away from her touch. Once you're away from her you're immediately reminded of the cold crisp air and you swiftly pull down your hoodie to shield yourself from the cold as reality comes crashing back to you.

'Calm down Sunshine, I'm just messing with you.' Santana laughs loudly. You scowl at her as you grab a hand full of the covers and yank them over your body to keep yourself warm.

'Why do you have to do that?' You growl. She can be so immature sometimes!

'It's funny.' Santana says and shrugs her shoulders. You can't believe she just did that for her own personal entertainment.

'Only for you.' You mumble under your breath. Santana rolls her eyes.

'God you're so uptight, maybe you should just get a good fuck so you can learn how to take a joke every once in a while.'

'Maybe your jokes are just really bad!' You snap back instantly. You don't know how she can go from being so sweet to so frustrating in the blink of an eye. She's probably the only person that can make your mood change so quickly and so drastically like that.

'My jokes are hilarious.' Santana says seriously. You scoff and play with the covers until they are up to your shoulders again. Santana doesn't really have much covering her body anymore but you couldn't care less about that right now. 'What you think you can do better?' You nod your head and Santana raises her brow. 'Hit me.'

She wants you to tell her a joke so you say the first one that comes to your head. You remember your maths teacher telling it to the class on the first day, no one really laughed but you thought it was funny.

'Knock knock.' You start with a smile. There she goes, changing your mood again. Santana rolls her eyes.

'Who's there?' She asks sarcastically and slumps back down into the bed until her head is resting on her pillow again. She doesn't seem too interested in your joke but that's okay because you haven't gotten to the punch line yet.

'The interrupting cow.' You say, trying not to smile too wide and give away the ending. Santana sighs.

'The interrupting c-'

'Moooo!' You say quickly before she can finish.

Santana takes a second to get it but when she does you watch in delight as the corners of her lips lift up and she shows her teeth in a wide smile.

'That was terrible.' She chuckles.

'You're laughing!' You accuse and point at her.

'Whatever.' She smiles.

You smile also and lower yourself back down to the mattress, content that you could make Santana laugh like that. You haven't seen that smile since you were sliding down the stairwell hand rails and she was waiting to catch you. You make a mental note to try every day for that smile.

'Are you working tonight?' You ask once you're settled back under the covers and you roll on your side to face Santana.

Santana sucks in her bottom lips and creases her brow, she looks really cute when she does that and you have to restrain yourself from reaching over and smoothing out those wrinkles in her forehead.

You watch as Santana leans over the edge of her bed, searching around until she pulls up her work shorts from the floor. She takes a piece of paper from the back pocket and then throws the shorts back on the floor. She really should clean her room.

'Well it's the 7th today so yes.' Santana sighs as she inspects the paper. You think it must be her work roster or something. 'It's gonna suck without Puckerman there to make fun of all night.'

Your eyes go wide when she says the date. Is it really that time already?

'It's the seventh today?' You ask in shock.

'Yep.' Santana says and scrunches up the paper before throwing it at the tv.

'So tomorrow's the 8th?' You ask. Santana looks at you oddly and quirks her brow.

'Pretty sure that's how it works. Do you want me to explain a calender to you?'

You shake your head no. It's tomorrow.

'It's mine and my dads birthday tomorrow.' You explain and watch as Santana's mouth drops open a little in understanding. 'Mom and I used to wake up super early and bake a double choc chip cake the morning of our birthday, it's dads favourite. Maybe I should go buy some ingredients today…'

'You're still going to make the cake?' Santana asks sceptically.

'Yes.' You say. 'Just because he's gone doesn't mean it's not his birthday.'

'Yeah but he's not even here to enjoy it.'

You blink at the unexpected words and watch as Santana scrunches up her face in regret. 'Shit, sorry. You're not going to cry are you?'

'No.' You say quietly. You're not going to deny that those words didn't hurt though.

'Thank fuck.' Santana breathes in relief. You frown at her.

'You shouldn't swear so much.'

'I shouldn't do a lot of things.' She replies. She's making it sound like she has no control over her actions, like it's not her fault she acts like this, but it is.

'But you do.' You say. 'Why?'

Santana just shrugs. 'Because it's fun.'

'You don't ever look like you're having fun.'

Santana's eyes snap back to yours and you think she's about to say something but then she shuts her mouth again. It is true though. Whenever she's drinking or doing drugs she never looks like she's genuinely having a good time. She doesn't smile like she did when you told her your joke.

'If we leave soon we can go get those ingredients before I have to go meet Sebastian.' Santana says suddenly and pulls back the covers to get out of bed. You frown as you watch her slip on a black jacket and look around for some pants.

'Who's Sebastian?' You ask. You were kind of hoping she would hang out with you for the rest of the day, especially since she has to work tonight.

'Just a friend who knows where to find the best popping candy in town.' She smirks.

You find yourself feeling hurt by her comment. You know enough by now to know she's not the type of person who goes to a friends house to eat candy. You're reminded of the image of a guy leaning over the coffee table and lining up a trail of what you now know was cocaine. You think he might be this Sebastian she's talking about. You frown further at the thought of Santana doing such a drug.

'You don't have to treat me like I'm stupid you know.' You say. 'I know he's your drug dealer.'

Santana's eyes open wide in shock and she's looking at you like you had just uncovered the meaning of life.

'I never said you were stupid.' She says quietly.

'You act like it.'

Santana looks down and pretends to keep looking for her pants but you can see a light blush on her cheeks and that's enough to let you know she's embarrassed about what she said.

'How old are you turning?' Santana asks once she's found her jeans. You notice she has a habit of changing the subject when she gets uncomfortable.

'Nineteen.' You say. You avert your eyes when she starts changing into her jeans.

'Well happy birthday in advance.' She says. Her comment makes you crinkle your brow.

'You won't be here tomorrow?'

Santana just shrugs and continues to move around the room, collecting her purse and phone.

'Maybe, maybe not.'

'But it's my birthday.' You say like maybe she had already forgotten. Santana has to be home for your birthday. You can't spend it alone! She's your housemate she's supposed to be there, and what kind of friend isn't there on your birthday?

'So?' Santana says. 'My birthday was last month and do you think anyone even said happy birthday to me? No. You gotta understand that not everything in this world revolves around you. People aren't going to just stop what they're doing to make you happy, you just gotta do your own thing sometimes, suck it up.'

Once her rant is over you feel the muscles in your forehead relax. Santana's trying not to look at you as she keeps her eyes trained on the floor like she's still searching for something but you have no idea what else she could possibly need.

You gently pull back the covers and hop out of bed. Santana continues to watch the floor while you walk towards her.

'Happy birthday for last month.' You say softly. You wish you could have been here for her birthday, no one should have to spend that alone. Santana just rolls her eyes at you but you don't care, she should at least know that someone cares about her birthday.

You take a step closer to her when she finally stops searching the floor.

'Santana I don't care what everyone else does in this world but family make time for each other, and right now you're the closest thing I've got to a family.' You explain slowly. 'So I'm asking you to be home on my birthday. You don't have to do anything, or get me anything or even say anything…I just want you there. Please.'

Santana's eyes are trained on the floor but you can tell that she's thinking so you just wait for her. When she finally speaks you can't help the smile that spreads across your face.

'I guess I could come back here to crash tonight.' She shrugs her shoulder.

'Thank you.' You take one last step towards her and lean in to plant a light kiss to her cheek. You don't know why you felt compelled to do that but when you see the blush spreading over her cheeks when you pull back, you're glad you did it.

'Uh well come on, let's go get that cake stuff.' She coughs.

**XX**

**They seem to spend a lot of time in bed? Haha I promise they will leave the house eventually!**

**What did you think?**


	10. Chapter 10

_**Hey! I've been getting such a good response for this fic so I just want to thank you all so much:)**_

_**Some people don't really like the pace this story is going at and some do so I'm not really sure what to do but I think I'll just stick to the way I'm going at the moment and I'll try not to include too many boring bits:/**_

_**The3rdhorseman: I've got a good plan for it in my head;)**_

_**ScarlettDancer: haha I know, but she's a badass. She does what she wants;)**_

_**Ducksticks: your wish is my command!**_

_**BlueLightsM: Hey thanks for reviewing! Little bit of action in this one for you but not much. There will definitely be more from now on but it won't all come at once. Sorry:/**_

_**Magickingdom1989: glad you liked it! More to come in this one:)**_

_**Wahnnie: In my head she's early twenties!:)**_

_**Hotdamnaya: Haha loved your review thank you. I hope you like it!:)**_

_**Pourwords: woo! Glad you like it haha hope this one is just as good!**_

_**Alexwilliamson101: haha I have no objection to you getting addicted to this story! Glad you like it:)**_

_**Iloveyounaynay: Thank you!**_

_**Lily22: I'm working on your request! I like it:)**_

_**Glee4ever123: Thanks for the review, I hope you had a fun birthday!:)**_

_**JLHarca: haha I'm working on a jealous Santana but it probably won't be for a few chapters.**_

_**Katiek28: Hope you like this chapter, we will see how Brittany's birthday pans out next chapter!**_

_**ALL4LeynA: yay! Thank you!**_

_** .java: there will be lots of teasing if she gets the job!**_

_**BrittzTana: haha I think you're on the right path;)**_

You feel kind of badass walking down the streets of New York with Santana next to you. She's not wearing anything special, just jeans a shirt and a black jacket, but the way she carries herself makes her stand out in the crowds. She's not overly tall but yet she looks tall by the way her chest puffs out and the way her neck is extended into the air. She looks so sure of herself in this big city and you can't help but admire her confidence. It certainly makes you feel safer walking these streets with Santana by your side.

'Want a pretzel?' Santana stops and points to the cart a few metres back. You nod your head excitedly. You were so excited about going shopping with Santana this morning that you forgot to have breakfast, you just got changed into blue jeans and a pink sweatshirt and raced out the door.

'Ok I'll be right back.' She says and walks away from you before you even have time to offer her money. You can just pay her back later.

You stand off to the side a bit to let the busy people stroll past you without getting in the way. Most of the time you don't really like being on the streets like this, you walk as fast as you can to get to times square where you can stand next to Sugar, but knowing that Santana isn't far away lets you appreciate the beauty of the city without fear of getting lost or mugged.

You're admiring the crisp suits of the businessmen that just walked past when a woman approaches you. You hadn't seen her in the crowds until she was right in front of you and smiling at you.

'Oh, hello.' You say happily because she's smiling at you, she must be nice. But she doesn't say anything, instead she hands you a clip board. You take it hesitantly and look back to the woman, she just nods her head in encouragement. She's still smiling so she must be happy for you to take it.

On the clipboard is a bit of writing and then a list of names and addresses and stuff. You scan back to the front and read the writing. The paper explains that the woman before you is deaf and she is raising money for programs and education centres for deaf people in America. You smile and wave at the woman and she happily waves back. Further down it tells you to write down your name, address, and the amount of money you would like to donate to the cause.

You've never met anyone who was deaf before, you're not quite sure how to communicate with her so you just keep smiling and she hands you a pen. Oh right. You try to think how much money you can afford to give her. You think you only have about twenty dollars at the moment but you kind of need that for the cake supplies. But then again she needs this money more than you do…

Just as you start writing down your details you feel Santana walk up next to you. You know she's there because you can smell her perfume and you can feel goosebumps form on your skin the moment she comes close. You can sense her reading over your shoulder. Maybe she'd like to donate too?

'Duck!' Santana suddenly yells. You're so confused and shocked that you just look up quickly and you notice the deaf woman quickly squats down and throws her arms over her head to shield herself from whatever was coming at her. But nothing was. Santana scoffs at the woman.

'Get the fuck out of here and get a real job!' Santana yells.

You're about to yell back and push Santana for being so mean to someone with a disability but before you do the woman snatches the clipboard and pen out of your hands and mumbles a 'whatever' before walking away, and disappearing back into the crowds.

You stare at the people walking by in shock. What just happened? How come she talked to Santana? Was she not really deaf?

'You shouldn't trust people so easily.' Santana says quietly. She waves a pretzel in front of your face and that snaps back your attention. You take the pretzel slowly, still thinking about that woman. Why would she do something like that? How could she just lie to you about something so serious? That wasn't very nice…

You slump your shoulders as you begin to walk again, chewing slowly on your pretzel.

'Dad told me you should always give people the benefit of the doubt.' You say sadly_. Innocent until proven guilty_, he'd say. That lady seemed really nice too.

'Yeah well that doesn't apply in New York.' Santana says over a mouth full of pretzel. 'Didn't your parents ever teach you about stranger danger?'

'Strangers will always be strangers unless you talk to them, then they're not strangers anymore.' You explain with a shrug. How were you supposed to make friends if you can't talk to anyone new? That's just silly.

'God.' Santana chuckles and shakes her head. 'Just, promise me you'll really think about what you're doing the next time a stranger approaches you okay?' You nod your head. 'You've got an innocent face, you're an easy target for assholes.'

'Promise.' You say with a smile. You kind of like Santana giving you advice like that, she might keep up a good act but when she says stuff like that you know deep down she cares about you.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

'So, what kind of chocolate do you put in this double choc cake?' Santana asks. You've already got the flour and eggs and butter, and now you're standing in the sweets aisle of the supermarket.

'Well the cake mixture is chocolate, and then the icing is chocolate, but in the middle we usually have MnMs because that's dads favourite. Oh and every year he lets me add something that I want so it's a surprise when he eats it. Last year was mini marshmellows and the year before that was red licorice balls.' You tilt your head to the side and gaze over all the possible choices. They all make your mouth water. 'Any ideas for this year?'

'I've got some weed at home, we could make hash cake.' Santana chuckles to herself. You don't know if you were supposed to hear that or not but you did so you throw her a dark look and she stops laughing. 'That was a joke.'

'I told you your jokes weren't very funny.' You say.

'What about caramel chocolate?' Santana sighs and picks up a block of chocolate before placing it in the shopping basket. 'Because I really don't think you've got enough chocolate in here.'

'Perfect!' You squeal. You haven't tried that in cake before!

'Awesome. Okay anything else you need before we get this?' Santana asks and shakes the basket a little.

You think for a second. You don't really need anything more for the cake, but you have run out of bread. But you can't really get bread today if you're getting all this other stuff. Maybe if you dance tomorrow you can go get bread. But tomorrow's your birthday so maybe the next day…

'Um nope.' You eventually say.

'Okay. I think we need bread though.' Santana says and picks up a loaf on her way to the registers. You smile at her but she doesn't catch it. You find the shortest line and stand at the back of it.

'Hey I've been thinking, uh, did your parents not like leave you any money or anything?' Santana asks suddenly. You snap your head up from the magazine you had been flicking through and look at her. 'Like in their will? And what happened to the house, do you have any brothers or sisters still living there?'

You shake your head. You didn't really want to have to talk about this but you're in a line so there's nowhere for you to run away to. Sighing, you answer her question. 'I'm an only child. I, I don't really know…'

'What do you mean?' Santana questions. You reluctantly put the magazine back on the stand and shuffle your feet awkwardly, preparing yourself for a conversation you had been avoiding.

'Well I was eighteen when they passed so I didn't have to go into foster care or anything so I was able to keep living at the house or I could go wherever really.' You shrug. 'I didn't really know what to do with it all, people were always ringing the house but after a while I stopped answering the phone because they just wanted to talk business and shares and entitlements and it was really confusing, and all I wanted to do was just stay in my room and cry.' You explain sadly. You didn't want to tell Santana this. 'S-so one day I got fed up, a-and I just left.'

'You just left?' Santana frowns. You look around nervously but relax a little when you notice no one is really paying attention to your conversation. You nod your head at Santana over a bit lip and she just creases her brow further. You don't want her to get mad at you. 'Wait so people could be looking for you right now? You just left the house without speaking to anyone about it?'

'I d-didn't know what I was supposed to do.' You say. You can feel the tears welling up in your eyes but you will them away. You don't want to cry in the middle of the supermarket. Santana's staring at you like she can't believe what she's hearing but once she see's your teary eyes you watch her face relax again.

'Okay um…here.' She says after a long moment and pulls a little card out of her purse. It looks like a business card. 'I told you how my mother's a lawyer right?' You nod and quickly wipe under your eyes. 'I'm going to give you her number so you can call her and you can work it all out alright? She's a bitch but she's damn good at what she does.'

You take the card hesitantly and read it. Across the middle is the name Maribel Lopez. You smile a little at the knowledge of finding out another detail about Santana's life. But that smile leaves when you realise what she's saying. You can't call her. You don't want to talk about this stuff, you wouldn't know what to say, or do. Would they make you go back to Lima?

'Why do I have to do that?' You ask quietly and move a step down the line.

'You could be entitled to so much money, you won't have to sleep on the fucking floor anymore for one.' Santana laughs lightly. 'And plus you could have your whole fucking town looking for you for all you know.'

'I doubt anyone even knows I'm gone.' You mumble. You look back to Santana. 'Can you call her for me? I don't really know what to say.'

'No.' She states firmly and shakes her head. 'I don't speak with my parents.'

You make a mental note to ask her about her parents one day.

'Well can you at least be there? Maybe write down things for me to ask?' You ask desperately. When Santana looks at you your bottom lip juts out in a pout and she rolls her eyes. 'I really don't know what I'm doing Santana…'

'Fine.' She says angrily and you smile victoriously. 'But I am not talking to her, and you can't tell her I gave you her number alright?'

'Okay.' You bite your lip to hide your smile.

XXXXXXXXXX

You're in the living room trying to get back into dancing on your left foot when Santana finally gets home from work. You've pushed the coffee table up against the couch so you have more room and now you're on the floor stretching your legs.

You hear the door open and you smile to yourself as you see Santana walk in and close the door behind her. You smile even wider when you notice Puck isn't with her.

'Pucks not coming over tonight?' You ask seemingly disinterested. Santana seems to only just realise you're in the room and when her eyes meet yours you watch them go wide for a second as she looks over your body. You got a little hot while you were dancing so a while ago you took off your top and threw it on the couch. Now you're on the floor in the splits position, stretching from one side to the other with just light blue shorts and a purple bra on. Your hair is up in a loose ponytail and you don't have any makeup on but judging by the direction of Santana's eyes she's not paying too much attention to that.

You watch with quiet confidence as Santana slowly shakes her head as her eyes continue to roam over your chest and down your legs as you stretch to each side.

'Why?' You ask curiously. You can't help the small smile that graces your lips with the knowledge that you won't have to put up with sex sounds tonight.

Santana just shrugs and throws her handbag over the top of you to land on the couch. 'He's already drunk and he's being a bigger ass than usual.'

You nod your head in understanding. But really you don't understand. You don't understand why she would be with someone who is an ass to her. She doesn't deserve that, no one does.

'Does that mean I get to sleep with you?' You ask hopefully. Santana smirks and raises her brow at you and it's then that your words catch up to your brain. You blush and roll your eyes. 'You know what I mean…'

Santana chuckles and steps towards you. 'It does.' She reaches out her hand and you gladly take it. 'Come on I'm tired.'

Even though she's not letting you finish stretching you can't help but smile because she wants you to come to bed now, she doesn't want to wait for you. Maybe she wants to snuggle again?

With that exciting thought you drop Santana's hand and race to the bathroom.

'I'm just going to shower and then I'll come to bed!' You say over your shoulder. You just catch the blush on Santana's cheeks when you say you'll be in bed soon and you giggle to yourself as you skip down the hall. She can be so cute sometimes.

Your shower lasts all of two minutes. You just wanted to wash the sweat off your body from dancing but you can't deny that the thought of jumping into bed with Santana again wasn't making you move ten times faster.

As you get dressed the thought of what happened last time in her bed crosses your mind and you feel your movement slow. You still haven't really made up your mind about how you felt when Santana was touching you like that. It felt funny, a good kind of funny, you felt hot and dizzy but you didn't want it to stop. But she said she was only messing with you so maybe it was wrong that you liked it so much, maybe you weren't supposed to like it?

You wonder if she'll do it again.

You walk slowly back down the hall in your yellow short shorts and white tank top, decidedly more nervous now then excited, until you reach Santana's room. You open the door and walk inside. It's dark, which doesn't shock you, her room is always dark. You can just make out the outline of her body curled up in her covers so you head around to your side and you quietly slip into the bed.

You're quiet because you can't tell if she's asleep or not but when you hear her rustle forwards along the sheets you smile and move towards her also. This time when she wraps her arms around you and pulls you closer you don't even think to turn around. It feels weird knowing her face is right in front of yours, you know it is because you can feel her breaths, but you can't make out her features in the darkness. You wonder if her eyes are open, but to make yourself feel less anxious, you decide that she has them closed.

You're so close now that both your heads are on Santana's pillow. You can feel her warm breath on your lips and it makes you lick them subconsciously.

'I've been thinking.' You whisper.

'Mmm?' Santana hums after a moment. You feel her hand on your back dip underneath your tank top and slowly inch up. She starts rubbing soothing circles over your skin and it's all you can do not to moan at the touch.

No, she'll just tease you again. Focus.

'Since you had a not very fun birthday, maybe tomorrow could be your birthday too, like a do-over.' You suggest quietly. You feel a puff hit your face and you can't tell if it was a sigh or a chuckle.

'That's ok, tomorrow's your day.' Santana says. You decide it was a sigh by her sombre tone.

'It could be both our days, that way we're both having a super fun time.' You smile but you don't think she can see it. It goes silent for a moment and you wonder if she fell asleep. But you think not by the uneven breaths hitting your face.

You shuffle a little because you're not quite sure what to do with your arms. You could bring them up to your chest but you don't want Santana to think that you are trying to touch her boobs, but you can't just leave them by your side, that feels weird. Santana seems comfy enough though so you decide to just copy her. You drape an arm around her waist and leave it to rest on her lower back, grateful that she decided to wear a shirt to bed.

Santana switches from spreading her palm over your skin to walking her fingers up and down your spine and its sending your body alight. You know what she's doing, she did this to you last time, but that doesn't mean it doesn't feel good still. You're torn between telling her to stop and telling her to push harder. You want to feel more of her but you're scared that she will just stop and laugh at you if you do something stupid like moan.

But god her fingers feel good.

'Well it's almost midnight, anything you want to do while you're still eighteen?' Santana breathes against your mouth. She's so close. You could kiss her if you wanted to…but that would be weird. You're pretty sure friends don't kiss, even best friends. But her skin feels so good against yours and you want to feel more of it.

'No-one's ever given me a hickey.' You blurt before your brain can even catch up to your mouth. What? Santana's going to think you are so weird. Who says that? And then she's probably going to think you're a loser for never having a hickey when clearly her and Puck have a pretty intense sex life. Oh god.

The hand on your back stills for a second and you clench your eyes in regret. You shouldn't have said that.

The air grows thicker and you feel like you should say something, maybe make a joke or take back your words? just when you go to tell another 'knock knock' joke she finally speaks.

'Do you want me to give you one?' She whispers.

You swear your heart just stopped.

There's another silence that encompasses you both but then again it's not really silent when all you can hear are the laboured breaths escaping your mouth, the rain hitting the window, and the sound of someones tv being played much louder than need be. But you're barely noticing these things. All you can think about is the question Santana just asked you, the hand tracing teasing circles on your back, and the word doing cartwheels around your head.

'Yes.' You breathe.

You're both still for a moment. You're not sure who is supposed to be the one to initiate this but you're grateful when Santana eventually does.

She takes her hand from your back and she gently pushes you back onto the mattress. You roll away from her until your back is flat to the bed and wait anxiously as she shuffles closer to you. She drapes an arm across your stomach and your muscles tense at the touch.

'Relax.' She whispers into your ear. She giggles when you let out a long breath into the night air.

You can feel Santana's breaths slowly moving from your ear, down your jaw, until they reach your neck. You feel her move closer and you're screaming at your body not to pass out because you don't want to miss this. And then her lips are touching your skin and you let out a quiet whimper.

You were planning on keeping your mouth zipped shut to avoid something embarrassing like that but what you weren't counting on was how damn soft and warm Santana's lips would feel against your skin. You can't even describe it, you've never felt something like this.

Artie, your ex, had thin cracked lips which always made you get sick of kissing him after a few minutes. You tried to get him to use your cherry chapstick but he never went for it. But Santana's lips are so soft and full. Those little breaths she's blowing over your skin every time she pulls away to get a better angle is making you want to groan and pull her closer so her lips are attached to you again but somehow you manage to restrain yourself. You could lie here for hours with her doing this to you, you'd even fight sleep so you didn't miss this feeling for a second.

One thing that surprises you, other than the fact that you are lying in Santana's bed with her kissing your neck, is that she's kissing you so tenderly. From the sounds she makes with Puck you imagine she would be kind of rough and rushed, but with you she's gentle and slow. It feels nice but you want her to go faster, you don't really know why, but you feel like you need her to go faster or you might explode.

You arch your body a little and extend your neck so Santana can get better access. You think maybe she didn't get the hint but you're proved wrong when her hand slips underneath your top again and flattens against your stomach. It wasn't exactly what you were asking for but god, you're glad she did it. Her hand is so hot and she's slowly dragging it upwards. Jesus, you don't have a bra on tonight either.

You're about to try and warn her again when suddenly her mouth opens against your neck and she's sucking your skin into her hot mouth.

'Ugh.' You moan unexpectedly. She lets out an airy chuckle in response but you don't pay much attention to that. She tilts her head and now she's taking in more of your skin. Oh god. You can feel her tongue brushing over your neck as she sucks and the combination of that and the hand that's stroking dangerously close to your breasts is making you feel like you're about to black out.

You want to tell her how hot she is but you stop yourself. You want to tell her to keep going but you can't say that either, so you just lie there and hope to god that this feeling will never go away.

Santana suddenly starts sucking harder and the hand on your stomach is practically clawing at your skin but you don't care. You're panting now but you think that's okay because Santana is too. It's all too much, the hand on your stomach, the lips sucking and the tongue brushing, and the pants of breath…

Your hand reaches around the back of Santana and quickly guides up under her shirt. You need to feel more of her. She lets out what you think might have been a grunt or a groan and then she's moving until she's leaning over you and draping her legs over yours. You are so glad you wore shorts to bed.

Her lips move down to your collar bone to drag her tongue across the bone at the same moment her hand moves up to brush her fingertips against the underside of your breast.

'Santana.' You pant. You can feel her smirk against your skin when her lips reattach to your neck and you pull her closer.

Oh god.

You can feel that familiar throbbing between your legs and you know what Santana is doing isn't enough to alleviate it. You need more but you don't know what. You only ever got this hot after Artie had been rubbing you for ten minutes but Santana hasn't done any of that and you can practically feel the wetness seeping through your panties. You pull Santana even closer to you in hopes that her body would hit the right spot and release some of that pressure but it doesn't. Instead she licks the area she had just been sucking and then she gives it a light kiss before pulling away and rolling back to her side of the bed.

'Happy birthday.' She breathes and you can at least take comfort in the fact that she sounds just as flustered as you, even if you do have to hold back a groan of disappointment.

'H-Happy birthday.' You say back and you hear Santana's breathless giggle.

**What did you think?**

**Next chapter will be Brittany's birthday:)**

**xx**


	11. Chapter 11

_**50 reviews for last chapter? Excuse me while I go die from being smothered in love:) haha thank you guys so much!**_

_**And it's cool to see that my other fics are starting to get more attention too!**_

_**Gleek-girl2102: We will see this in a few chapters from now!**_

_**Sb: Thank you so much, I hope I can live up to my writing!**_

_**BlueMightsM: Heeey youu! Thanks for your review I loved it! Glad to hear you are loving the story and my writing, hope you like this one:)**_

_**msHeatherette: Happy you liked last chapter! Britts sexy moves won't be too far away now!:)**_

_**nivee: Hey thanks for reviewing! You will definitely see their relationship develop from here on out as they get more comfortable with each other:)**_

_**katiek28: woo! Glad you liked it! Hope this one is up to scratch!:)**_

_**Zurrli: aww that makes me feel so loved thank you! and I think britt will be sporting that hickey for quite a while! Haha**_

_**Jrzygurl89: thanks for the review. I believe Santana will do all she can to help britt:)**_

_**JLHarca: haha glad you liked it!**_

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_** .java: hahaha how'd the shower go? Loved your review. Thank you so much for reading:)xx**_

_**JadeTheManatee: never a useless review! Haha:)**_

_**Slbsp: in my head she's about 22?**_

_**BrittzTana: haha glad to hear I can still keep you on your toes!**_

_**aLL4LeynA: haha thanks for the review so happy you like it!**_

_**V1vr: thank you! I do what I can;)**_

_**Sorry I couldn't reply to everyone!:(**_

The next morning you wake with a huge smile on your face. Not just because thoughts from last night come racing back to you, but because today…is your birthday!

Well not only is it your birthday but it's your dad's birthday and Santana's fake birthday too!

That's like triple the fun!

You open your eyes in excitement and frown when you realise Santana is so far away from you. You must have become untangled somewhere during the night. You pout because you want to say happy birthday to her but you guess you should probably let her sleep in a little more. She does look pretty cute curled up in the covers. Her lips moving outwards slightly every time she breathes out a little puff of air. Those same lips that were on your neck last night…

Oh god.

You have no idea how last night happened but you know it involved something you said and then Santana asking if you wanted her to do it, and then her soft lips were on you and it was all you could do not to pass out until her lips left your skin.

You think you should feel nervous about how she will act today but you're not. Maybe because when it was over you had both giggled. You know you fell asleep with a smile on your face and you're pretty sure Santana did too, even though you couldn't really see her, you imagine she would have. So she had to have liked it, or at least thought it wasn't a big deal, right?

With that thought you're smiling even wider and all you want to do is wake Santana up so she can finally join in on the birthday celebrations. But you feel so cruel. She does look pretty peaceful…

You give yourself five minutes before you're allowed to wake her up. You used to do this with mom and dad except most of the time they would be expecting you and hide under their bed when you came racing in, or they would surprise you and wake you up with hugs and kisses. You wish they could be here.

But at least you've got Santana now, and she actually kept her promise and came home last night so she would be here for your birthday. You're happy you don't have to spend it alone, that would have sucked. Imagine if your mom, dad, and Santana were here today! That would be like the BEST birthday ever!

You frown when you realise that will never happen. You wonder if they would have liked Santana. Probably not at first, but she would grow on them you think, just like she grew on you. Now you don't know what you would do without her…

That gives you an idea. Slowly, and sneakily, you slide out of bed, careful not to wake sleeping beauty. You tiptoe out of her room and race down the hall to yours. When you open the door to your room you can't believe how bare and cold it is. You really need to get back to dancing so you can buy more stuff. Oh and you need to give Santana's mother a call. You're still kind of scared about that.

You head straight for your suitcase, fling it open, and search through the clothes until you find your fluffy yellow ducky. You smile in success and skip back to Santana's room. She's still sleeping when you arrive so you slowly and quietly start crawling across the bed on your hands and knees until you reach your pillow and you sink back down into the mattress. Her eyes are still closed and you find yourself watching her for a moment longer, admiring her beauty.

When you can't take it anymore you slowly bring your hand up that has your ducky in it and you brush the bill of the ducky across Santana's nose and then pull it back. Santana crinkles up her nose but relaxes after a moment. You giggle softly and do it again. This time her hand comes up to brush over her nose and it's so cute you can't stop the smile from spreading over your face.

'Santana…' You smile and fluff Ducky across her nose. 'Santana wake up.'

She scrunches up her nose and groans. You know she's awake now.

'Santana, wake up!'

Her eyes fling open in shock and you start bouncing up and down on the bed as you laugh.

'What the fuck is going…' She groans as she brings her hands from the covers to steady herself from bouncing all over the bed.

'It's our birthday Santana! Happy birthday!' You shout in excitement.

Santana groans and buries her head back into her pillow but you manage to catch the small smile on her lips before her face disappears.

'My birthday has already been.' Santana mumbles into her pillow. You bring ducky up to ruffle her hair and she flips over onto her back, grasping Ducky in her hands.

'Santana no, I told you today is your birthday too, so don't try and get out of it.' You frown and she chuckles at you.

'What's this then?' She quirks her brow and jiggles Ducky in the air.

Your eyes go wide.

'Oh! That's Ducky!' You say and Santana just quirks her brow higher. You giggle and sit back on your legs so you can explain, Santana just stares up at you as she plays with the stuffed animal in her hands. 'My Dad gave me Ducky when I was born, he used to say that Ducky would protect me when he was at work or when I had to start sleeping in my own bed. I used to take him everywhere with me, even the mall. When I started going to highschool I'd keep him in my back pack just in case someone tried to bully me…but he never really did much when that kind of stuff happened.'

You watch Santana's eyes glare at her hands running over the duck and her jaw clench when you say that last part.

'But he was someone I could talk to when my parents were still at work and stuff. Ducky knows all my secrets. And now he's yours.' You say with a smile and tap the top of his head. Santana looks up to you like she's confused. 'Now you have someone to tell all your secrets to if you don't want to tell anyone else. Happy Birthday Santana.'

Santana's mouth is open a little in what you think might be shock. She looks like she doesn't quite know what to say. So you just wait patiently, and stroke the back of Ducky every now and then.

'Um…' She says. 'I can't take this from you, you need this.'

Santana tries to force the old stuffed animal back into your hands but you don't let her.

'No, Santana, I want you to have him.' You say with a smile. 'Seriously, I don't really need him anymore.'

'Shouldn't you need him now more than ever?' She says curiously. 'You know, to protect you and shit?'

You bite your lip and shake your head. Santana tilts her head to the side in question and you break out into a smile. 'I've got you now silly.' You say. 'I've got you to protect me. I don't need Ducky now that I have you watching out for me, and you're a much better snuggle buddy than Ducky, he could never cuddle me back.' Santana blushes and you poke her cheek which earns you a glare. 'I can tell all my secrets to you, but until you're ready to tell me yours, you can just tell them to Ducky instead. He's a really good listener.'

Santana stares at you for a moment with an unreadable expression. You want to know what she's thinking. Does she like Ducky?

'I uh…' She starts but then stops herself. 'I didn't get you anything.' She whispers.

'Santana that's okay, I told you that you didn't have to get me anything.' You reassure her. She doesn't seem like she's listening to you. She's biting her lip and looking around her room like an answer will jump out at her.

'Well is there anything of mine that you want?' She asks.

You smile cheekily and nod your head.

'What?' She smiles.

'Your grey hoodie.' You blurt. Santana arches her brow.

'Really? I haven't washed that thing in ages.' She laughs.

You shrug your shoulders. 'I like the way it smells.'

You're glad you left out the part where it smells like her.

'Alright then, it's yours.'

XXXXXXXXXX

You're standing in the kitchen and leaning against the counter with a smile on your face as you watch Santana pouring ingredients, and measuring, and whisking. You had started yourself but after a few minutes you got stuck because you didn't have the recipe and had no idea what to do after the flower was in the bowl, did you melt the butter first?

So after watching you fail miserably a few times Santana eventually rolled her eyes and offered to help.

'You're really good at cooking.' You say. She looks so focused when she's baking, you've never really seen her like this before. You like that you get to see another side to Santana that you definitely weren't expecting, in your mind you count that as another layer that you've uncovered.

'My Abuela taught me.' Santana says as she begins to scoop the mixture into a cake tin. 'I used to sit on her kitchen bench as a kid and watch her rush around like she was a Masterchef or something, I swear sometimes I thought she had four arms.'

You smile listening to her talk about this woman.

'Why don't you cook more?' You ask curiously but she shrugs. You only ever really see her eat junk food which is silly if she knows how to cook. You wish you knew how to cook. 'Maybe you could teach me how to cook some things?' You ask hopefully.

'Maybe.' Santana smiles shyly.

Santana turns around to the oven and places the cake tin into the oven, setting the timer for twenty minutes.

'Okay, so when that's done then you can start decorating it.' She says and you clap your hands in excitement. Decorating is the best part. She shakes her head at you with a smile and begins to clean up the mess she made. You just continue to lean against the counter and watch her. You know she can feel you watching her but she's not saying anything so you just keep doing it.

'So Santana, today is your birthday too.' You state eventually. 'Is there anything you want to do?'

'Well, no ones ever given me a hickey?' Santana laughs and you feel yourself blush. 'Joking.' She corrects herself quickly, you can still feel your cheeks heating up though. You hadn't expected her to say that. 'Well I've got work off tonight. Wanna go out?'

'Go out?' You say and she nods her head. You gulp. 'Like…to a club?'

'Yep.'

'But I'm not 21…' You say even though she already knows that. Maybe she's forgotten already.

'Don't worry Sunshine I know a guy, he'll let you in.' Santana winks at you.

You feel your cheeks burning. You've always wanted to go clubbing but you thought you would have to wait another couple of years so you could drink. You just want to dance though. So what harm could it do?

'Um okay then.' You say and nervously flick your hair off your shoulder. Santana's eyes go wide in shock and you freeze like you've said something wrong. Does she not want you to come out? 'What?'

You watch as Santana's face turns from shocked to amused and she's moving closer to you. You can see her eyes turn a darker shade of brown and you furrow your brow in confusion. Suddenly her hand is tracing the side of your face and tucking strands of blonde hair behind your ear.

'Ooh, probably the best I've given.' She smirks and then it hits you. The hickey! You had totally forgot to check for a mark. You quickly pull out your phone from your back pocket and open up the mirror app, bringing it close to your neck so you can see. Your eyes go wide at the bruise taking over your neck. It's so big and dark. You think it probably won't go away for quite a while. You feel a strange warmth knowing that Santana had done this to you.

'Wow.' You say.

'Is it up to scratch?' Santana smirks. She's still really close to you and it's making your heart beat pick up.

You shake your head. 'It could have been bigger.'

You don't know why the hell those words came out of your mouth. You didn't even know you were thinking them until they were spoken, and they were untrue anyway. Santana's hickey was big, bigger than you expected, there's probably no way she could even make it any bigger.

'Oh really?' Santana smirks at you and takes an extra step forward until she's flush against your body and you're pushed up against the kitchen counter.

Oh god.

She's leaning in now. On reflex your hands reach behind you to grip the counter as Santana tucks your hair over your other shoulder. This is really happening.

Her lips touch your skin and you let out a quiet moan. Damn it. You feel Santana smile against your skin and you curse yourself for letting go so quickly. This is different from last night. Last night was dark, secluded, it felt like you were the only two people in the world. But now you can see Santana's body move, you saw her watching your neck as she moved in and you saw her close her eyes right before her lips touched your skin. It feels so much more intimate. Last night you were able to lay in silent shock for an hour, replaying the feeling of Santana's lips on your skin while she slept peacefully beside you. But you can't do that now, what will happen when she pulls away?

Your mind snaps back to the present when she opens her mouth and begins sucking your neck with those full luscious lips.

'Ugh.' You close your eyes. You can feel your legs start to buckle when her hot tongue comes out to stroke over the mark she just made, thankfully Santana's quick to bring her hands to your hips and steady you against the counter.

When she starts sucking again you can't handle it anymore. Your left hand lifts from the counter and slides through Santana's hair, bringing her face closer to your neck.

'Umf.' She groans or moans, you're not really sure but whatever it was it sounded hot.

Suddenly there's a banging on the apartment door and Santana's flinging from your body. Your hand is ripped from her head and you're both left staring at each other with heavy breaths. The knock comes again and Santana pulls her gaze from you.

'Fuck.' She curses and walks out of the kitchen towards the door. You stay where you are. You can't really move. You can still feel her lips on your skin and you're pretty sure if you tried to walk your legs would collapse from underneath you.

You hear the door being jiggled open and then a loud voice is filling the apartment.

'Lopez!' The man yells. You've heard that voice before. You squeeze your eyes shut and try to ease your heaving chest. You don't want it to look too obvious what you were just doing with his girlfriend. 'Check it, Sebastian came through with the goods, we are getting fucked up tonight.' When you feel like you have composed yourself you slowly turn around and watch the two from the kitchen. Puck is waving a small bag of white powder in front of Santana's face but she doesn't look too impressed. It doesn't take long for him to catch your eye. 'Wow…' He looks you up and down. 'and she's coming with.'

You feel your chest fill with anger and you scowl at him. Thankfully, Santana slaps his hand out of her face and makes her way back to the kitchen.

'Eyes off Puckerman, she's too pure for you.' She glares over her shoulder. Puck just scoffs and follows her. You keep an eye on him for as long as you can but you get a little distracted when Santana approaches the other side of the counter and takes a seat on one of the stools. 'What do you think, wanna go out with us?' She asks.

'Y-Yeah sure.' You say quickly. She's smiling at you again and you can't really think straight when she's smiling at you like that, well you can't really think straight when you're around her at all really, but that's not the point.

'You know there's probably enough for us to do half now and half tonight?' Puck says, dangling the little plastic bag in front of Santana's face from behind her. 'What do you say?'

You try to meet Santana's eyes so you can shake your head at her but she's too busy rolling them at Puck. You really don't want her to be on drugs for your birthday, that wouldn't be very fun.

'You can, I'm kinda busy today.' She says with a shrug. She looks back up to you and winks, causing your chest to flutter.

'Suit yourself.' Puck scoffs and then he's looking at you and you feel your throat close over. 'Blondie?'

You quickly shake your head. 'No thank you.'

'Get the fuck out Puckerman.' Santana growls as she stands from her stool. Your eyes widen in shock. You can't believe she just said something like that to her boyfriend. You don't want to get stuck in the middle of a fight.

But Puck doesn't seem too deterred. In fact he leans over and plants a quick kiss to Santana's cheek before straightening back up and smiling.

'Catch you lovely ladies tonight!' He says while stuffing the little bag back into his jeans pocket. You watch in curiosity as Santana just waves him out the door. That was weird.

'You're not very nice to your boyfriend.' You state once the door slams shut behind Puck.

'Puck is not my boyfriend.' Santana laughs. You stare at her and she just shrugs. 'He gets me, doesn't cling, but there when I need him.'

You're about to ask her why he's not her boyfriend but then she cuts you off before you can get any words in.

'So, what else did you do on your birthday?' She asks. You watch as she as she opens the draw below the cutlery draw and she pulls out a packet of cigarettes. That must be her stash. You frown. You don't like it when she smokes.

'Nothing.' You say with a shrug and hold out your hand in front of her. She quirks her brow at the gesture, probably wondering when you started smoking, but hands you the packet none the less.

'Nothing?' She asks curiously.

You nod your head and stuff the packet of cigarettes into the hoodie you're wearing, the hoodie Santana gave to you. Santana rolls her eyes at you but you can see a little smile lifting at the edges of her lips so she must not completely hate you for taking away her smokes.

'We'd all lie in my parents bed and have a Harry Potter marathon.' You say. Remembering all those years you would climb into your parents big bed and spend the day watching Harry Potter. The day used to get longer and longer every year or so when another Harry Potter movie came out. Last year you only got up to _Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire_ before you were all asleep.

'You didn't hang out with friends?' Santana asks.

You feel your smile start to fade and you shake your head. 'I told you I didn't really have any…'

'Why?' Santana says, crossing her arms over her chest and doing a little shrug. 'You're fine.'

It wasn't a particularly lovely comment but coming from Santana it was like the best compliment you've ever received. You find yourself wondering what your life would have been like if Santana had gone to your school. Would she still have thought you were fine then? Would she have been your friend? Would she have protected you from mean people like she does now?

No, you shake your head gently, she wasn't there.

'I wasn't very good at school.' You explain sadly. 'A couple of people started making fun of me for it, calling me names and pushing me around a bit. No one stopped it or helped me which sucked, and then eventually everyone else just followed. It became uncool to hang out with me, so I just kind of hung out with myself.'

You shrug your shoulders and then look back to Santana. Her gaze is strong. She looks a mix between angry and sad and you don't quite know what to say because she's not replying to anything you just said. After a moment her eyes soften and drift to the floor.

'Um, do you have these movies?' She asks. You tilt your head in confusion for a second but then you remember your previous conversation. You know you packed the movies in your suitcase, it was one of the first things you packed when you decided to up and leave, along with the photo album.

'Yep.' You smile in excitement.

'Go get them and bring them to my room.'

XXXXXXXXXXX

You got through a little bit of _Harry Potter and the Philosophers Stone_ before you had to drag Santana back to the kitchen to ice and decorate the cake. God it smelt soooo good.

You usually wait until after dinner to eat the cake but Santana surprises you when she walks into her room with the cake in hand on a platter. You instantly break out into a wide grin as she walks slowly towards you on the bed, trying not to blow out any of the candles as she moves.

'Where did you get candles from?' You ask with a smile as she kneels onto the bed.

'Well while you spent twenty minutes looking for the MnMs yesterday, I decided to make myself useful.' She winks. You laugh and hold the cake for her while she gets settled on the bed, sitting up and crossing her legs so she's facing you. You sit up and mirror her position so you're facing each other.

'Why have you got the cake, it'll get the bed all messy.' You giggle.

'My covers are black.' Santana shrugs like that's all the reasoning she needs. You guess she's right, you probably wouldn't be able to see a stain if you spilt anything on it. That's lucky because you most definitely will. 'Plus I'm starting a new tradition, this is ours.'

You feel your heart swell at her words. _This is ours_. You and Santana have a tradition. That means that it will be customary to do this again next year, and the year after that, and the year after that! The thought of Santana making any indication that she will still be in your life years from now is making you feel all giddy inside and you really want to lean over and kiss her cheek but you're afraid of touching the burning candles.

Instead you just offer her a smile. 'Okay.'

'Good.' She winks. 'Now make a wish and blow out your candles before we burn the apartment down.'

'Wait we have to sing the Happy Birthday song first!' You say.

'I'm not singing.' Santana says firmly and you roll your eyes.

'Fine.' You groan. 'But when I'm finished we will relight the candles for you.'

'No that's okay, the candles will be down to a nub by then anyway, just blow them out.'

You frown and let out a whine. 'Santanaaaa, can you at least blow them out with me?'

Santana groans but when she sees your pout she gives in. 'Fine. Ready?'

'Make a wish first!' You yell and Santana chuckles, nodding her head and closing her eyes. You do the same but by the time you both open your eyes again you realise you forgot to make a wish. You were concentrating too much on trying to figure out what Santana would be wishing for. Oh well.

'1…2…' Santana leans over the cake and you do the same. The flames from the candle are illuminating Santana's smile and you can't help but think about how amazingly beautiful she is. It's almost blinding how perfect her features are. You should ask her if she's ever considered being a model. '3!'

You snap your attention back to the present and quickly start blowing over the cake as Santana does the same. You leave Santana the last candle and she blows it out with a giggle. Her laugh is so pretty. You really want to know what she wished for if it's making her this happy. It must have been a good wish.

Once the candles were pulled out, and you offered to clean them by licking all the chocolate off, Santana retrieved two forks from the kitchen and stuck them into the cake. You giggled at the thought of not cutting the cake into equal slices and instead just digging in with a fork. Santana kept trying to scoop up bits from your side of the cake to annoy you, but you didn't really get annoyed you just giggled and swiped her fork away with yours, and at some stage you even had a little fork sword fight.

The cake was so delicious. Adding the caramel chocolate was definitely the best decision ever. You think you'll ask Santana for her opinion again next year.

Somewhere along the way Santana had made it a game that you had to finish the cake before the movie ended. At first you were both really into it because it tasted so delicious but now you feel a little sick, and you know Santana does too but she doesn't look like she's going to give up anytime soon.

You're lying with your head in her lap as she sits up against the headboard, still using one hand to scoop up a bit of cake every now and then, while the other hand drags slowly through your hair. It's soothing feeling her fingers scrape across your scalp routinely. So soothing you were barely paying attention to the movie when Draco Malfoy started making fun of Harry for his parents being dead.

It's funny, you had watched this movie a million times before but not once had this scene ever hit you like it did now. Sure, you always felt really sad for Harry, but you had never felt this big weight take comfort on your chest before, a weight that made your eyes sting with tears and your chest ache.

'Do you ever think about your parents?' Santana asks quietly. She's still stroking through your hair and you think that's probably the only thing that's keeping you together right now.

'Everyday.' You say instantly. 'I miss them so much. I've got my dancing, but I don't really have any idea what I'm doing anymore.' You confess. God you miss them more than anything. You wish they could be here right now, lying in bed with you and watching these movies together. You wonder if they can see you watching them from heaven? Maybe they're watching them too?

'Just so you know, you're never going to be alone anymore.' You hear Santana whisper. 'I know I'm not here much but uh, I consider us friends. So yeah, you've got a friend.' You can hear her stuttering over her words like she has no idea what she's saying but you're glad she said them. It was exactly what you needed to hear. You can feel the weight slowly lift from your chest. Your chest feels lighter with every moment that passes and every stroke through your hair. You have a friend. 'What's your dad's name?'

'Michael.' You say with a quiet smile_. Michael Peter Peirce._

'Happy birthday Michael, you have damn good taste in cake.' Santana says and holds her cake covered fork into the air before shoving it into her mouth. You giggle to yourself and try to refrain from calling her a dork.

When the cake has FINALLY been devoured Santana places the platter on her bedside table and groans.

'I'm never eating ever again in my life.' She says. You laugh and she taps your head. You lift your head up to look at what she's doing and watch as Santana slides down the bed until her head is on her pillow and then she pats her stomach and smiles at you. You smile back and settle your head onto her stomach, sighing contently when you feel her hand roam through your hair again.

Definitely one of the best birthday's ever…and the night has yet to begin.

_**Fluffffff**_

_**Next chapter we will see what happens when they go clubbing! Any guesses? It may not be what you think…**_

_**XX**_


	12. Chapter 12

_**Hey Beautifuls! Longer chapter this time because you're all so amazing:)**_

_**LoveNaya: Hey thanks for reviewing! There will be a bit of jealous!Santana in this one so I hope you enjoy! And no I don't have tumblr sorry:(**_

_**BrittanaLove93: hey wow, the whole thing in two days? I'm impressed! Glad you like it. There may be a little in this chapter but not too much:)**_

_**RedNoseReeindder: haha so happy you like it! I don't want to reveal too much about this chapter but I think you're either going to love it or hate it:/ let me know! Xoxo**_

_**Katiek28: I have a feeling you're only going to hate Puck even more after this chapter:/ take comfort in the fact that he won't be in the next one though!**_

_**Anon: sorryyyy…**_

_**Ducksticks: haha thanks for your review, loved it. I haven't mentioned Santanas age before but quite a few people have been wondering so I answer that in this chapter:)**_

_**Galilieo3000: Thank you very much!:)**_

_**msHeatherette: prepare to be surprised;)**_

_**JLHarca: hahaha perhaps there may be some jealous!santana;)**_

_**Hotdamnaya: not a hell of a lot sexiness in this chapter but I think you'll like the next one more!;)**_

_**Glee4ever123: let's put your mind at ease then shall we? Haha although if you thought you couldn't hate puck more, well…**_

_**BlueLightsM: Hey! I would love it if you could help me write some stuff in Spanish later on. I'm thinking Santana could get britt all hot and flustered with it, if that wouldn't be too awkward for you? haha sorry but you have a sexy language and the world must hear it:) and yes last time I checked I am a girl haha. Thanks for reviewing!**_

_**Dome: She doesn't get injured! I'll put your mind at ease there, that would just suck for britt:(**_

_**BrittzTana: hey thanks for reviewing, I answer the age thing in this chapter:) Ps she's 40…lol jokes!**_

_**ENJOY!**_

'Come on Blondie we don't have all day!'

You roll your eyes and mutter 'screw you Puck' under your breath. You were excited about going out until he rocked up an hour ago. Now he's yelling at you from the couch in the livingroom while you finish touching up your makeup in the bathroom.

'Stop being such an ass Puckerman.' You hear Santana groan and then a moment later a slapping noise is made.

You chuckle to yourself when you hear him curse in pain.

Even though you are excited about going to a club for the first time you kind of wish you were still cuddled up in bed, using Santana's warm body as a pillow. You were a little sad when she woke you up from your nap and told you that she had to start getting ready. You groaned but eventually she got you to leave her room so she could change. You went back to your own room and instantly sorted through your suitcase for your tight red dress which was too fancy for your date with Sam. It's not too fancy for a club you think, people wear this stuff out right?

You slipped it on with a pair of red heels to match and walked to the bathroom to apply your makeup. You were a little unsteady on the heels for a bit, seeing as the last time you wore them was about six months ago at your dads bosses wedding, but you got used to them.

After you finished your makeup and straightened your hair you decide that you're ready, and damn you look hot. You're kind of anxious to see if Santana will like it or if you've gone overboard on the glam. You really don't want to look like an idiot.

After a deep breath, you straighten up your outfit one last time, and you make your way back to the livingroom.

Puck and Santana are already standing by the door taking sips from a bottle of scotch. Santana's leaning up against the door with one leg hitched supporting herself, she's got her arms crossed and she's looking pissed off, hopefully at Puck. You sigh in relief when you notice she's as dressed up as you are, tight black dress, high-heeled boots, and a small black leather jacket over her shoulders. She hasn't met your gaze yet but you're preparing yourself for when she does because you can see her dark smokey eye makeup from here and you're pretty sure when she looks at you there's a very real possibility you might faint.

'Dayum girl.' You hear Puck say but your eyes don't stray from Santana. You keep walking forward and her eyes snap up to you, and you were right about her eyes, so alluring. You watch as her mouth slowly opens. She doesn't stay on your face too long before her eyes are dragging down your entire body, stopping at your legs. 'Maybe I picked the wrong housemate.'

You think Santana would slap Puck for his comment but she doesn't, she's still staring at you with her mouth half open. You think her intense gaze should make you feel nervous, it usually does, but no, this time it makes you feel confident and kind of sexy.

You take a few steps forward until she's forced to meet your eyes again. She looks dumbfounded.

'Are you okay Santana?' You ask with a smirk.

Her mouth opens and closes a few more times before finally she nods her head.

'Let's go.' She says firmly and spins around to open the door.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

You're lining up for some club that's just named _Jack's_. It hardly even looks like a club from the outside but you can already hear the music blasting through the open door ahead so you figure it will be better once you're inside. You're a little nervous about getting entry, Santana assured you that she could get you in but that doesn't stop you from biting the inside of your cheek as you wait patiently for the line to move forward.

Santana and Puck had dumped their bottle of scotch in a garden bed on the walk here. They actually made you laugh from time to time with their drunken antics on the way. Puck made race car noises every time another vehicle drove past and Santana had made it a game to say something completely wrong whenever someone walked by her on the footpath. Your favourites were _'God I wish I could fuck my cousin'_ and _'so that's how they found the body stashed under my bed'_. You got a few strange looks but most people just walked noticeably faster, one guy even crossed the road after she had said to you '_hey look out for my parole officer okay?_' You can't even remember the last time you had laughed so hard.

'Wow Blondie, who's the lucky fella?'

You snap your head back to the present and stare in confusion at Puck. He smirks over his cigarette and points to your neck. What?

You watch Santana's eyes go wide and then suddenly it hits you. The hickey. Or both hickeys. Is there two now or only one? Oh god.

'U-Uh.' You stutter. What the hell are you supposed to say_? Oh yeah that was from last night and this morning when Santana was sucking on my neck._ You can't say that!

'Um Sam.' You say instead. You watch as Santana's pleading eyes relax and she breathes out a breath of smoke. Sam? God you haven't even spoken to Sam in a couple of days. He hasn't even wished you happy birthday. But then again he doesn't exactly know it's your birthday. Maybe you should text him…

'Well he did a number on your neck there.' Puck laughs. Your eyes drift back to Santana to see her blushing cheeks and red tinged ears as she stares at the ground. Well that at least proves one thing to you, Santana doesn't just go around sucking anyone's neck. That little fact makes you smile.

As the line moves up a bit you pull out your phone from your purse and type out a quick message.

_ToSam: Hey Sam! What are you up to tonight?:)_

You send it off and stare at your phone screen, waiting anxiously for him to reply. You haven't seen him since your date so you think it would be nice if he came out and celebrated your birthday with you. The more the merrier right?

You eventually reach the front of the line and put your phone away with a sigh, he still hasn't replied to you. When you look up you catch Santana watching you with a frown on her face. Why is she mad at you?

'Santana! Haven't seen you around in a while.'

You watch as Santana's gaze travels to the big security guard standing in front of her and she smiles.

'Hey Dave, how's business?' She asks.

Dave laughs and points to the asses of the girls he just let in. 'Buisness is good my friend, business is good.'

'Hey, listen I've got a new girl for you tonight.' Santana says and you watch as Dave's eyes light up. Santana shakes her hand in front of him disapprovingly. 'A no-stare and no-touch girl Karosky, don't get any fucking ideas.'

The man laughs loudly and shakes his head. 'Underage?'

'Yeah, but she's with us.' Puck chips in. You start to get nervous again. What if he doesn't let you in?

'Is she hot?' Dave asks.

Santana turns around and smiles at you before stepping to the side so the man can see you. You feel kind of awkward just standing there as he looks you up and down.

'Oh holy fuck.' He laughs and immediately lifts up the rope to let you all pass. 'Please come in my goddesses…plus Puck.'

'Thanks man.' Puck says and nudges him in the chest.

You follow closely behind Santana as you walk past the man.

'Mmm come see me later blondie.' Dave says and brushes his hand down your bare arm. You flinch your arm away and Santana slaps his hand off your skin.

'Hey! What did I say about touching?' She yells at him. 'No me gusta!'

You giggle as she grabs your hand and pulls you into the club. You have no idea what language she just spoke or what she said, but it was kind of sexy.

As soon as you walk into the club the bass hits you and you can feel your heart beat along with it. Oh my god you can't wait to dance to this.

'Drinks?' Santana yells over the music and you nod your head as you look around the place, trusting that her hand will pull you in the right directions.

The walls are a dark burgundy with spray painted artwork scattered all around. There's a couch lounge area opposite the bar and past all that you can clearly see the dancefloor which is already flooded with people. You watch everyone let loose and move to the music as a smile etches onto your face. You can't wait to drag Santana over there.

When you reach the bar Puck pulls out a fifty from his wallet and dances it over the counter to try and get the attention of the bartender. You frown when you feel Santana's hand slip out of yours.

'What do you ladies want?' Puck asks over his shoulder.

Santana looks at you in question but you don't really know so you just shrug your shoulders. She leans into you so you can hear her over the music and whispers in your ear.

'Do you want a wet pussy?' She asks. You feel your whole body tense and your eyes snap back to hers. She just giggles and leans in again. 'It's a shot.'

'Oh.' You mouth and nod your head. 'Y-Yeah that sounds good I guess.'

Santana winks at you before tapping Puck on the shoulder. 'Get us a wet pussy and vodka sunrise chasers.'

Puck just nods his head and starts yelling at the bartender to come over to him.

'So, what does a wet pussy taste like?' You say into Santana's ear. You watch her eyes go wide and now it's your turn to giggle. 'The shot, Santana.' You smirk.

She rolls her eyes and nudges you in the arm. 'If I knew it only took taking you to a club to get you to relax I would have taken you weeks ago. I can't wait to see you after a few drinks.'

You laugh and lean back into her ear. 'Will you dance with me?'

Santana smiles but shakes her head. 'I don't dance.'

You pout but Santana just shakes her head harder. 'You don't dance, you don't sing, is there anything you can do?' You tease.

'Drinks are up!' Puck yells and starts handing you both the shots.

Santana takes the shot immediately and grabs her other drink.

'I can drink!' You roll your eyes at her and she leans back into your ear. 'And apparently I'm pretty good at sucking too.'

Oh god. You quickly take your shot and bring it to your lips, letting the alcohol wash away the lump that just formed in your throat. You hear Santana chuckle but you don't pay attention to that, you just grab the other drink from the bar and take a long gulp.

'Girl can drink.' Puck laughs. 'Alright, I'm gonna go see if any of the boys are here, I'm sure you ladies will find me easily enough if you run out of money.'

'Sure will.' Santana winks at him. You frown. You thought she only winked at you like that.

You bring the vodka sunrise back to your lips and actually taste it this time, it does taste good, Santana picked a nice one. You want to compliment her for it but you're still mad at her for winking at Puck, but then you don't even know why you're mad! Argh…

'So…'Santana starts and you reluctantly let your eyes meet hers. She's leaning clumsily against the bar and watching you through hooded eyes, you can tell she's still drunk from the scotch. 'Have I managed to ruin your birthday yet?'

She's smirking at you but you can hear the doubt in her voice. You notice she doesn't have as much control over her leering and her expressions when she's drunk.

'Today has been amazing Santana.' You tell her truthfully and watch her smile widen. 'One of the best birthdays I've ever had.'

Santana ducks her head with a smile and sips at her drink, you know she's trying to hide a blush and it's so damn cute.

'I had a pretty good fake birthday too.' She chuckles. 'Even though I spent most of it eating my body weight in cake and then rewarding myself with a nap.'

You laugh and shake your head at her. You can't believe you both ate a whole cake today. But you're glad Santana's birthday do-over was a success. She deserves to have the best birthday ever.

'Santana?' You ask curiously. She tilts her head at you in question. 'How old are you?'

It's been something you had been wondering about for a while but never thought of to actually ask. She looked like she was around your age but she must be older if she's been going to these clubs for so long.

Santana snorts and nearly chokes on some of her drink. You laugh as she composes herself. 'I'm twenty two.'

_Twenty two. Hmm_. Yeah that sounds about right. She does look older, you know she certainly acts older. You feel kind of grown up hanging around with someone three years older than you. In highschool some of the popular girls used to date older guys and everyone thought they were so cool, now that's you. Well, except you're not actually dating Santana…but she is an older friend!

'Wow we've lived together for over a month and we still don't know shit about each other.' Santana laughs. 'But I guess I lived with the hobbit for like four months and I still don't know what she does for a job, I figure it has something to do with working for Willy Wonka or offering to crack walnuts for the elderly with her ginormous beak.'

You kind of feel like you should stand up for Rachel, afterall she did help you out with stuff about Santana, but you can't help but laugh. You realise there's a difference between drunk-at-home Santana and drunk-out Santana, the difference is one is depressive and angry, and the other is funny and laid back. You like drunk-out Santana wayyyy better.

'I think we know eachother just fine.' You say once you've finished laughing. Santana shrugs her shoulders with a smile and continues drinking. You do the same, thankful that you don't have to explain your statement. You don't want Santana to find out how much you analyse her actions.

'How bout you finish that drink and show me these dance moves you've been hiding from me hmm?' She smirks.

'Are you coming with me?!' You ask excitedly thinking she had changed her mind.

Santana just laughs and shakes her head. 'No I don't like being too far from the bar. But go dance, your feet are practically already taking you there.'

You look down to your feet and notice that they're pointed towards the dance floor. You pout at the thought of going to dance on your own but you guess there's plenty of people to dance with, plus you kind of like the idea of Santana watching you dance. You always perform better with an audience.

'Fine.' You smile and down the rest of your drink. Oh wow, that stuff at the bottom was really strong. You stagger for a second and lean against the bar. You can hear Santana laughing at you so you just glare at her before making your way through the crowds and onto the dance floor.

The beat is even stronger on the dance floor. Right now the DJ is playing _Give Me Everything_ by Pitbull. You love this song. You let the beat take over your body and your mind and you forget about everything else. You don't really even pay attention to all the people dancing around you, well that is until one of them pops up in front of you and throws her arms around your neck. She's slumping a bit so you know she's drunk but she's laughing as she dances and that makes you smile. It's nice meeting someone who likes dancing as much as you do. So you rest your hands on her hips and let her grind into you. She's pretty good too.

'What's a hot girl like you doing dancing by herself?' The girl giggles into your ear. You blush at her compliment but brush it off.

'I'm actually here with a friend, she's right over…' You scan around the bar until you find Santana, still leaning up against the bar with another drink in her hand watching you with what you think might be a scowl. '…There.'

The auburn haired girl squints through the crowds to get a look at where you're gesturing and after a moment she laughs and shakes her head.

'You're friends with Santana?' She asks in shock. You tilt your head to the side. How did she know that?

'Uh yeah?' You say. She moves her body closer to yours and her arms tighten around your neck as you keep swaying to the beat.

'I work with her.' She says into your ear. Oh.

'You're a bartender too?' You ask. She shakes her head and leans back in.

'Dancer!' She smiles and your smile widens.

'Santana's trying to get me an audition there!' You explain.

'Wicked.' The girl winks. 'Well when you get it tell Beiste that the _Girl on Fire_ recommended you. That's my stage name, for my real name you'll have to come find me later.'

The girl plants a quick kiss on your cheek before detaching her arms from your neck and slinking back into the crowd of dancers. What the hell just happened?

You don't have much time to think about what that girl was talking about before two arms are encasing you from behind. You gasp at the unexpected touch but relax when you hear a familiar chuckle in your ear.

'Have fun dancing with Slut on Fire?' Santana says into your ear. You ignore her tone and instead enjoy the fact that she's dancing with you and holding you in her arms. You lean back into her chest and let your head fall back onto her shoulder.

'I thought you didn't dance?' You ask smugly. Santana's hands come down to your hips and you move them from side to side so she can feel you dance.

'I thought I told you not to talk to strangers.' Santana quips back and you laugh loudly. She got you there.

_Grab somebody sexy tell em hey!_

Santana pulls you closer to her body until her breath is by your ear and you giggle. Santana basically just implied that she thinks you're sexy. You don't know why but for some reason that made you more excited than when that girl called you hot a moment ago.

You feel her lips trace the outside of your ear and you bite down on your lip to stop yourself from moaning. You guess no one would really hear though if you did moan…well maybe Santana would seeing as she's so close to you.

'Your hickeys look sexy.' She speaks into your ear and you practically whimper as her lips touch your bruised neck. 'I could see them all the way from the bar. No wonder the slut left so quickly.'

'Santana…' Your hands come up to tangle with Santana's hands on your stomach as she kisses down your neck lightly. You've never seen this side to her before, it's almost like she's jealous, but she seems angry, and you don't know why it's turning you on so much.

You spin out of her arms and then spin back in so you are facing her now. Her eyes are still droopy but she smiles softly at you when you put your arms around her neck and pull her back into your body. Her hands gravitate back to your hips and you arch your back slightly when she glides them up the back of your dress.

'Do you want another drink?' She breathes into your ear. You pull back a little so you can look at her and you shake your head. You don't want her going anywhere just yet. You want to show her exactly how sexy you can be when you dance.

You spin back out of her with the intention of spinning back in and grinding your ass against her front but you're stopped mid spin when you catch Puck sliding in next to Santana. You frown as you watch him lean down to Santana's ear, he says something to her and she looks at him, then she looks at you, and then she looks back to him and nods her head. You don't know what he said, the music was too loud for you to hear, but the next thing you know is that Santana is letting go of your hand and following Puck off the dance floor. You stand still on the dance floor as people move around you and you stare at the back of Santana and Puck walking away from you. Just as they are about to disappear into the crowd it's like Santana finally remembers what she was doing before Puck arrived and she looks back to you and mouths what you think was _'I'll be back'_. You just frown at her in hopes that she would come back and dance with you but she doesn't, and soon they both disappear out of sight.

You stand in shock on the dance floor for a moment. You have no idea what just happened but you do know that you have a rage for Puck building up inside of you for taking Santana away like that. Why did he even do it? Did he not like you dancing with Santana? Maybe he sensed you were about to pull out your sexy moves and didn't want Santana seeing them? No, he didn't really seem mad when he came over…in fact he didn't even look at you.

You growl when a couple bumps into you hard and you decide it would probably be best if you got off the dance floor. Santana did say she would be back but you don't know when so you figure you could just watch the dance floor from the bar. You shuffle your feet up to the bar, for the first time taking note of how much these heels are killing your feet, and you're about to order another vodka sunrise when you realise you can't exactly pay for it. Puck said to go find him if you ran out of money for drinks but now he's off with Santana and you don't even know where they went, you really don't want to get lost by yourself.

Groaning, you spin around so your back is leaning against the bar and you look over to the dance floor, remembering the feeling of having Santana's hands all over you. God, why did she just leave you like that? It was like as soon as Puck started whispering in her ear she forgot you even existed.

You can't believe she just left you. She knows you don't know anyone here. Well, unless she counts that Girl on Fire chick, but you only just met her and you're still not quite sure how you feel about her. You could go find her, she did say to do that if you wanted her name…no, Santana said she'd be back, you should probably just wait.

Argh.

On your birthday, she's leaving you like this on your birthday.

You're so mad at her. Every minute that passes without seeing her face appear on the dance floor just makes you even angrier. Why didn't she just tell you where she was going?

After a while your eyes start scanning around the rest of the club in boredom. The couch lounge looks pretty busy, it would have been nice to sit down and rest your feet for a bit, but then you wouldn't really be able to see much of the dance floor if you sat down.

Your whole body freezes in place when you spot a familiar face seated on one of the red couches. You frown and pull out your phone, reading through your messages. No, he definitely didn't reply to your text. Your eyes glance back up to the scene before you just in time to see Sam lock lips with an equally as hot blonde girl. You feel your mouth go dry. You don't want to believe that's Sam but you know it is, no one has lips like that, and plus he's wearing the same outfit he wore on your date with him. The date that you thought meant something to both of you. Now he's wearing it on another date!

You tear your eyes away when you see his hand slide up the girls leg and you look to the floor, trying to blink back the tears. This is the worst night ever.

'Ready to finish that dance?'

Your eyes flick up to Santana's on reflex. You don't reply to her. You're still mad at her and you're even madder now because of Sam. The quick glance to her eyes and then back to Sam was enough to notice her pupils had gotten noticeably bigger since she disappeared, and they were hardly drooping anymore, she seemed more awake that's for sure.

You frown harder and sniffle back the tears that are threatening to fall. She went off with Puck to do drugs. You think that was probably the only thing that could have made your night worse right now.

'What's wrong?' She asks but you don't look at her. Your eyes are trained back on Sam sucking the face off the girl he's with. You feel her try to grab your arm but you flinch away from her touch. She must see what you're looking at after a while because eventually she says 'Is that Sam?'

The tears are coming now. You don't know why exactly but you don't want Santana to see you cry right now, and you certainly don't want to see Sam making out any longer, so you run.

You think you heard Santana yell _'where are you going?'_ at some point but you brushed it off, you just want to get out of this damn club. You take a deep breath when you reach the cold outside air and feel it chill the tears on your cheeks. Your makeup is probably ruined already.

You don't know where you're going but you just pick a street and start walking. You get about two metres before you groan and bend down to take off your heels. Once they're off you sigh in relief, now you can walk faster.

When you get to the first corner you stop and look around, trying to decide which way to go. Out of the corner of your eye you catch a figure running towards you but you don't really care if it's Sam or Santana or whoever, you just don't want to talk to anyone. You decide to go left and you take off again.

'Hey wait up!' You hear that familiar raspy voice yell. But you don't stop, you don't want to talk to Santana. How dare she leave you on your birthday to go and do drugs with her not-boyfriend-but-still-have-sex-nonstop- Puck! You just want her, and everybody else, to leave you alone!

'Brittany!'

You stop.

You hadn't even made the decision to stop before your body ceased moving. She had never called you that before, not once. You feel like you want to smile at the sound of your name falling from her mouth but you don't let yourself. You're still mad at her.

You can hear fast footsteps racing up behind you and then they eventually start to slow.

'God those legs can move.' You hear her pant as she reaches you. You don't turn around so she shuffles past until she's standing in front of you. You don't look at her. 'Look don't worry about trouty mouth you can do so much better than a guy who looks like a fish.' She breathes. She sounds really puffed. 'Plus, I don't think he'll be bothering you any longer.'

You frown at her comment and lift your head. You're about to ask her what she means by that but then you see she's cradling her left hand. You tilt your head in confusion because it's too dark to see much but then she moves her hand a little and you can see blood sparkle in the moon light.

'Santana! What happened to your hand?' You gasp and reach out to take it in your own. She lets you. You crouch down a bit so you can see it clearer and frown when your eyes glance over her red and swollen knuckles. One knuckle, the biggest one, is split with a little bit of blood trickling out of it.

It suddenly dawns on you why her knuckles are so red and swollen.

'Santana…' you frown. Did she hit Sam?

'He deserved it.' She shrugs but you shake your head lightly at her. Sam didn't deserve this, no one deserves to be punched. You want to tell her she was wrong for doing this but you can't really find it in you to yell at her when she's hurt like this, and plus you know she did it for you, and in a weird way that makes your heart swell a little.

'Come on we can go home yeah?' She says gently and you nod your head. Home sounds good.

You continue to inspect her hand as she leads you back the way you came so you can hop into one of the waiting cabs.

You notice she hurries into the first cab quickly enough and you wonder why but then you hear Dave, the security guard, yelling at her from the door saying she's banned from the club. You feel bad that you got her banned from one of her favourite clubs.

Santana scoots along to the farthest side of the cab and tells the driver where to go as you get in next to her. You scoot until you can sit right up next to her in the middle seat. You're still mad at her but you do want to keep inspecting her hand. You catch her smile when you reach for her hand and pull it gently into your lap. You don't offer a smile back though, you're still mad at her. Her hand must be throbbing right now, it looks bad, but she doesn't seem to be in any pain. You think the alcohol and drugs might be numbing her, you bet she'll be whimpering in pain in a few hours when it all wears off.

You shake your head disapprovingly and stretch out her fingers against your hand slowly, smoothing over her swollen knuckles as you go. For a moment you wonder what Sams face must look like. You glance back up to Santana to inspect her face, making sure Sam didn't hit back, and smile when you discover Santana's beautiful face is still perfectly intact.

Santana smiles back at you and you frown again. You don't want her to think you're okay with this.

'I'm mad at you.' You say quietly and watch her smile fall.

'Why?' She frowns. 'For hitting Fish Lips?'

You sigh and shake your head. 'You left me by myself to go do drugs with Puck.'

Your eyes meet hers and you think she's about to deny everything but she must change her mind when she sees your face because she just sighs and looks down to our hands.

'I'm sorry.' She says.

'Can you promise me to stop doing drugs?' You ask hopefully. 'I don't like you when you're on them.'

You want her to meet your eyes again but she doesn't. You can see the conflict playing on her face, you just hope she makes the right decision.

'Brittany…' She sighs and immediately your heart sinks. 'I told you I wouldn't make a promise to you I couldn't keep, so I can't make that promise.'

You frown and look away from her, choosing to stare out her window instead. That wasn't the answer you were hoping for…but at least she told you the truth. At least she's being honest with you.

'What about puck?' You ask after a moment. How is he supposed to get home? Not that you really care but you want to get your mind onto something else that doesn't involve Santana or Sam.

'I'll text him that we've left and that he can't stay at ours.' Santana says. You look at her and she just smiles and shrugs her shoulders. 'I'm not having you sleep on the couch on your birthday.'

You curse yourself for the small smile that stretches across your face at the thought of sleeping in Santana's bed again. Sleeping with Santana again, maybe with some cuddling, she does kind of owe it to you now.

You're nearly home when something enters your mind and you find yourself beaming.

'You called me Brittany before.' You whisper.

Santana chuckles and raises her brow. 'Well that is your name isn't it?'

You bite over your smile and nod your head. 'Can you say it again?'

Santana's smile widens. She leans into your side and brings her full lips to your ear. You brace yourself against the cab seat.

'Brittany.' She breathes into your ear and the way your name rolls off her sultry tongue makes your insides tense. God you wish you could hear her say your name like that forever.

**XX**

**I know it's not what most were hoping for but just know that the night doesn't end there;)**


	13. Chapter 13

_**Hey Guyssss!**_

_**I won't be answering any reviews this chapter only because I've run out of time and I really want to get this up before the weekend, but as always thank you so much for all the love and support for this fic, and I will try to answer as much as I can in the next chapter!**_

_**Love you!**_

_**Enjoy;)**_

You direct your eyes to the ceiling when Santana starts getting changed in front of you. You're still kind of conscious of the fact she hit you for helping her change once, so you figured maybe she doesn't enjoy people looking at her body. But then again she did make the no-shirt rule so you don't really understand how that works.

When she's slipped on her shorts and singlet Santana gets into bed next to you. You giggle at her trying to pull back the covers without using her left hand.

When you got home you made a fuss over her hand until eventually she let you clean it and wrap it in a bandage. You even made her sit with ice held on it for half an hour to reduce the swelling, something you learnt from your sprained ankle experience. Santana huffed and puffed when you made her sit on the couch with the ice, but she didn't put up much of a fight when you were wrapping it, and you know it was starting to hurt her by then because she was cradling it like a wounded puppy.

'No laughing.' Santana warns as she slides into bed and adjusts the covers to drape over her stomach, her big bandaged fist resting on top. You bite your lip to stop from giggling again.

When she settles in she shuffles towards you and you know what she's going to do next. You smile when you feel her arm drape across your stomach but you can't hold back the laughter when her big club hand rests on your abs. You quickly bring your hand to your mouth to stifle the laughs but it's too late, Santana's already heard. She groans and snatches her hand back to her chest and rolls over onto her back.

'Oh come on…' You say with a giggle. 'I think your hand is cute.'

You hear a scoff and then some more shuffling and you know that she's facing away from you now. You want to make fun of her for being such a baby but you have a feeling now isn't the time. Instead you just smile at how adorable she's being and you scoot along the sheets until you're pressed up against her back. You drape your arm across her waist and pull her closer to your body.

'Um…What are you doing?' Santana asks quietly.

'I'm being the big spoon.' You state with a smile. 'Do you not like it?'

'It feels kind of weird…I'm usually the big spoon.'

'What, even with Puck?' You scrunch your face up. That would look weird, he's so big and she's so small.

'Well yeah, Puck likes being spooned, and I kind of like spooning so…' She trails off. You know she's hinting at you to roll away but you're not going to do that just yet. You like the feeling of holding her in your arms, it makes her seem smaller and more fragile. Maybe that's why she doesn't like it?

'Do you remember when I hurt my ankle and you took care of me?'

'Yeah?' Santana breathes.

You smile and shuffle your head so it's on the same pillow as hers. You lean forward so you can whisper in her ear. 'Well now you're wounded, so let me take care of you.'

You hear Santana laugh and sigh but you know she's given up because you feel her whole body relax into yours and it makes you swell with pride and victory. She trusts you to make her feel safe.

You lay there for a while, enjoying the feeling of curling around Santana and protecting her from intruders…not that there would be any, but you like to think if there was she wouldn't feel the need to fight anyone again, because you would be there to shield her from getting hurt, she didn't need to be so strong when you're holding her.

'Did I ruin your birthday?' She asks quietly after a moment. You know she's talking about how she left you alone, or it could have been for hitting Sam, or maybe even both.

You don't answer her right away, simply because you're not quite sure how to answer her. Did she ruin your birthday? Well, she brought Puck to go clubbing, she made you dance by yourself, then she left you on the dancefloor to go do drugs with Puck, and then she punched Sam without even having met him before!

But did she ruin your birthday…

She did give you your first hickey…and she helped you bake your dads cake, she gave you her super comfy hoodie, she watched Harry Potter with you, she took you to your first club, she made you laugh all the way to the club, she got you a vodka sunrise which is now your favourite drink, she actually came to dance with you, she stood up for you when you saw Sam with that girl, she chased after you when you left the club, and for the first time ever she called you Brittany…

'No.' You say eventually. She didn't ruin your birthday. You're silent for a while longer but that starts to get you thinking…did she have a fun birthday?

'Did I ruin yours?' You ask quietly.

You feel Santana chuckle against your body. 'How could you have ruined mine?'

'By being mad at you.' You whisper apologetically.

'Brittany…' There's your name again. You smile at how different she says it to everyone else, you don't know why it's different but it just is, it's smoother. 'My last birthday I spent vomiting into my shoe in a carpark while Puck fought with some 40 year old guy for scratching his car. I think anything would be an improvement.' Santana explains. You frown at the thought of her spending her birthday like that. 'Plus you got me on the dance floor, I've been going to that club for nearly a year and I've never even set foot on the dance floor before.'

You feel your frown turn into a smile at your accomplishment. At least she had a better birthday than her last.

'Why did you come and dance with me?' You ask sneakily. You kind of have a feeling it has to do with that girl you were dancing with, especially since Santana was acting so jealous when she left, but you want to hear it from her, you want Santana to admit that she didn't like you dancing with her.

'Felt like it.' Santana shrugs and you feel her shoulder move up and down against your body.

'After going to that club for nearly a year and not dancing tonight was the night you just decided you felt like it?' You reply smugly. 'Did you not like me dancing with that girl you work with?'

Santana scoffs in defence and you want to roll your eyes. Here we go.

'April's gay.' Santana explains and it takes you a second to realise that she's talking about Girl on Fire. So that's her name. But well yeah, you kind of figured that she was gay by how forward she was with you. 'I just didn't want her getting the wrong idea about you that's all.'

You scrunch your face up at her words. 'The wrong idea about me?'

'Yeah, you know.' She shrugs again. You really want to know where she's going with this. 'I didn't want her cracking onto you thinking you were gay, is all.'

'I didn't mind.' You say defensively, because you didn't, April seemed really nice and bubbly, and pretty. 'She was pretty.'

You were supposed to say those words in your head but they were out of your mouth before you could stop them. You hear Santana scoff again and shuffle slightly away from you, you shuffle back into her and hold her closer, not letting her get away from you because she's mad.

'Pretty slutty.' You hear her mumble and her anger kind of makes you smile. She really does sound jealous of this girl. You wonder if it really was because she was dancing with you, or if this is all just something you've made up in your head…maybe she just really hates this girl?

The air is silent for a while. You place your hand on Santana's smooth stomach and feel it move up and down softly with each intake of breath. It's calming, feeling her breathe like this. So calming it could send you off to sleep, but you don't want to sleep, not yet. It's kind of a habit that you have on your birthday, you don't want to waste a second of your birthday sleeping and tonight is no exception, even if it is already past twelve o'clock and technically it's not your birthday anymore. Whatever.

'Are you sleepy?' You ask quietly. You really hope Santana hasn't already drifted off to sleep.

'Not really, my high won't wear off for a while yet.' She breathes. You frown at her words and she must be able to sense it because a second later she's apologising. 'Sorry.'

You decide to let it go for now, at least she's gotten into the habit of saying sorry, she never used to be able to do that.

So you're both not really tired and don't want to go to sleep. What can you do?...

You don't really want to get out of bed and play a game because it's so cosy curled up in the covers with your body pressed against Santana, so that kind of limits the possibilities. Maybe a question game? Santana was saying earlier that you barely knew anything about each other after living together for over a month. That could be fun. Plus you've still been waiting for a moment to ask Santana about her time in boarding school, maybe this could be your moment?

'Can we play 20 questions?' You ask excitedly. Santana groans audibly.

'No.'

You frown. '10?'

'No.'

'Five?'

'No.'

'Can we play 3 questions?' You plead. 'Please Santana, for my birthday?'

Santana sighs at that last bit and you smile in victory, she's about to give in.

'Fine.' She says with the least amount of enthusiasm you've ever heard. Whatever, this is a fun game maybe she's just never played it with fun people before.

'Okay I'm going first.' You smile and squeeze her body once in excitement. You hear her give a breathy chuckle and you mentally congratulate yourself for lightening her mood.

Okay, now just ask her the question, she has to answer because it's a game.

'Why did you get expelled from boarding school?' You say quickly.

'Pass.' Santana says just as quickly.

'You can't pass!' You yell in frustration. Santana just shrugs against you again.

'Well I'm changing the rules, so pass.'

Great now you have to think of another question, and you only get three!

'Why isn't Puck your boyfriend?' You settle for. It has been something that's been playing on your mind since this morning, or yesterday morning now. 'You sleep with him all the time and hang out with him sometimes. That's pretty much the definition of a boyfriend.'

'Puck and I have an understanding.' Santana explains slowly. You're actually a little shocked she didn't pass on this subject too, you were kind of expecting it. 'We don't need to label our relationship, it is what it is.'

You frown and bite your lip. 'But don't you want to have a relationship?'

Being in a relationship is the best part about being with someone. You get to tell people that this is your partner, you get to hold their hand down the street and you get to take them to events, and meet their parents, and talk about the future, and tell each other secrets. Having a relationship with someone is fun.

'No.' Santana states easily. 'Labelling just causes drama, I don't need that shit in my life.'

You frown harder and you're about to argue with her but then she's speaking again.

'By the way that counts as your second question.' She says authoritively.

'What?' You gasp. 'No.'

You still have so many questions to ask you can't have only one left now!

'My turn.' She dismisses.

You let out a huff of frustration against her neck and she giggles. Santana pinches your hand on her stomach with her good hand and you react by tickling the skin over her ribs. She laughs and squirms but you just hold her tighter.

For a moment you kind of forget why you were mad at her.

'Why are you still here?' Santana asks quietly. You're eyebrows knit together in confusion. Why are you still here? It's bed time. Does she not want you to sleep in her bed anymore? but she said that you could when you were in the cab, she wouldn't just kick you out now would she?

'What do you mean?' You ask sadly.

Santana lets out a sigh and you prepare yourself for what she will say next.

'I've gone through like four housemates in in a year.' Santana states quietly and you listen carefully, trying to work out what this has to do with her question. 'You seem like you're not going anywhere just yet. How are you still here? Everyone else thought I was too toxic to be around and they avoided me like I was a serial killer or something, but every day, you're still here. Why?'

You feel your heart swell with warmth. You love it when Santana lets you see this side to her, the side that you're pretty sure only a handful of people ever get to see, some may never see it. It's the side that lets you know that after every insult she throws your way that she's still got this little fragile girl inside of her that's keeping all her insecurities bottled up, and every now and then she lets one slip out for you to see. She's slowly letting you see more of her, of who she is, and you don't want to scare that part of her away.

How could she possibly think you would move out? Admittedly at the start you were a little frightened by her behaviour but you never wanted to move away from her. When you found her passed out in the bathroom you could have easily thrown in the towel and moved out, you're sure you would have found somewhere else eventually, but you didn't. Seeing her like that only made you want to stay more, you wanted to make sure she was always safe, even if that meant being in the firing line for her words and her actions.

No, you never thought of leaving Santana.

So _why are you still here?_

'Because I like living with you.' You answer honestly. You surprise even yourself with your answer. Santana is loud, obnoxious, rude, and insulting. But above all that she's unknowingly kind, gentle, intriguing, and one of the best listeners you've come across, and best of all she doesn't even know she's all these things, and you can't wait for her to find out and to realise that she's more than she ever thought she was.

'Why?' Santana asks. You can hear the anger in her voice and you wonder why she gets like that. It's like she's mad at you for liking her. 'I'm horrible.'

'No you're not you're beautiful.' You say automatically. Crap, you weren't supposed to say that. 'Um my turn. Why did you punch Sam tonight?'

It wasn't the question you wanted to ask. Well, you did want to ask it but you had so many other questions floating around your head and that wasn't the only one you wanted answered.

'He hurt you.' Santana explains like it was an obvious answer and you can't help but smile at the simplicity of her statement.

'Santana you can't just go around punching people like that.' You warn but you're still smiling and she probably knows that. 'If you were around when I was in highschool half the school would be walking around with black eyes.'

You hear Santana scoff.

'If I knew you back then they probably wouldn't even be walking.' She mumbles but you caught it. You feel your smile grow at her protectiveness. It's kind of adorable and you just want to lift her up and spin her around but you're already cuddling her so you figure that's probably better than anything right now, so you hold her tighter.

'You're really cute when you're mad.' You smile. You know she's not going to like that but you don't really care at the moment.

'I don't think anyone's ever called me cute before.' Santana laughs. 'Scary, yes. A bitch, yes. A screw up, yes. But cute? That's different.'

You lean forward and whisper in her ear.

'Well you are so get used to it.'

You hear her giggle and you pull back, resting your head back on the pillow you're sharing. 'Can I ask you another question?'

'No yours are all up, it's my turn.' She states firmly and you feel a pout forming on your lips.

'Please Santana it's a good one.' You whine and Santana chuckles.

'What do I get out of it?' She asks slyly. You can just imagine the look she would be giving you right now, the raised eyebrow and the cheeky smirk. Maybe it's the alcohol still surging through your body, or maybe it's the dimness of the room, but somehow you gather the confidence to play with her a bit.

'Whatever you want.' You say slowly. You surprise yourself with how sexy it sounded coming off your tongue, you're kind of glad Santana can't see you blushing right now.

'Ok, well this kind of ties in with our game.' Santana says just as slowly and you gulp. You're kind of scared yet excited for where she will take this. 'You can ask me another question if you show me a unique skill you have.'

You let out a breathy chuckle of relief and nod your head, even though she can't see it.

'Deal.' You can do that. Now for your question… 'Okay so, do you really think I'm stupid?'

'What?' Santana asks loudly and the volume of her voice kind of startles you. She turns in your arms until she's facing you and you bite your lip at how close her face is to yours. 'Britt, I thought I told you that I didn't.'

'But you call me Sunshine…' You explain quietly and watch her confusion double. 'At school people used to give me nicknames to tease me about how dumb I was. I thought that was one too.'

You visibly see all the frown lines on Santana's face disappear before your eyes as she sighs out a long breath.

'No.' She whispers and shakes her head gently. You think she's about to say something but then she shuts her mouth before the words can come out. She waits a moment, glancing all around your face before finally locking eyes with you again. God those brown eyes are going to be the death of you.

'Brittany I called you Sunshine because you were like a ray of light with your blonde hair and white skin, and that smile that hit me as soon as I saw you.' She finally says in a whisper. You can't really see much of her face but you imagine she would be blushing, but that's okay because you are too. 'You kind of lit up the room when I first saw you.'

You watch her eyes glance away from you in embarrassment and it only makes your smile grow bigger. All this time she was calling you Sunshine you thought she was teasing you, but that wasn't the case at all, it sounds like when she saw you she was so blinded by your beauty that in her mind you were like Sunshine, like a ray of light in her dark life.

Santana coughs awkwardly and you realise you had been staring at her with a lopsided smile on your face for a good thirty seconds or so. 'Okay so show me your skill.'

Oh right, your deal.

Hmm a skill…

You have many skills…You can drink water upside down, sing the alphabet backwards, and even put your legs behind your head. But there's only one skill that you really want to show Santana tonight, you're not even sure if it's a skill but you're so energised after what she just told you that you feel like jumping up and dancing, so that's what you're going to do.

'Okay well, my boyfriend back in highschool was in a wheelchair so I got pretty good at giving lap dances.' You say casually. You just catch Santana eyes widen in shock as you flick back the covers and crawl off the bed.

Santana sits up and watches you walk around the bed until you're standing in front of the tv and looking back at her. She looks a mix between shocked and aroused and it makes you chuckle.

'Um..' She says slowly and blinks a few times. You guess she wasn't expecting that.

'So you wanted me to show you right?' You ask and raise your eyebrow daringly. You don't even know how you're being so confident, you didn't even drink much tonight. Maybe it's because Santana is looking at you like a little kid in a candy shop and you finally feel like you have control over her for a moment, and you want to hold onto that feeling.

'Uh, y-yeah I guess…' Santana stutters.

You smirk and bring your finger towards you to beacon her forward. 'Come here.'

You see her freeze for a second but eventually she chucks off the covers and slowly shuffles down the bed. You pat the mattress where you want her to sit and thankfully she follows your orders.

'What are you doing?' She asks nervously and you smile to yourself.

'Well, I can't show you my lapdancing skills if I don't have a lap to dance on, now can i?' You reply smugly.

You don't catch her expression because you're too busy clearing the floor of objects you might trip over but you do hear her whisper a quiet '…right.'

When the floor is clear of trip hazards you walk over to Santana's ipod dock which is next to the tv and you start scrolling through her songs. You're a little surprised at all the Adele and Rihanna on there, you were expecting something a bit closer to death metal or grunge rock.

'Music?' Santana asks from behind you.

'Mmmhmm.' You say and look over your shoulder at her. 'Unless you want to sing for me?'

She shakes her head.

'Didn't think so.' You laugh and go back to her songs. Oooh Britney Spears! Please have Slave, please have Slave, please have…YES!

You take a deep breath, preparing yourself for what you're about to do, and then you press play and spin around.

Santana's eyes are already locked on you and you feel a smirk pulling at your lips.

_I know I may be young but_

_I've got feelings too_

You walk slowly and sensually over to Santana, swaying your hips to the groove of the song. You watch with amusement as she grips the covers tighter the closer you come.

_And I need to do_

_What I feel like doing_

_So let me go_

You bring your index finger to her lips, bending forward so you can whisper in her ear.

'_And just listen'_

When you pull away again you notice the tension of her neck muscles straining and you smirk to yourself.

'_All you people look at me like I'm a little girl'_

You weren't really intending on singing along with the song but you can't really help yourself now. You love Britney Spears and you always get lost in her music, pretending that you are a part of her music videos and sometimes even pretending that you're her.

'_Well did you ever think it would be okay for me to step into this world?'_

You step forward and bring your hands slowly down your body, Santana's eyes following their movements.

'_Always saying little girl don't step into the club_

_Well I'm just trying to find out why this dance is what I love' _

You wink at her as you take a couple of steps back and start bouncing your chest to the beat of the song.

_(Get it get it get it get it)_

'_Ooh'_

_(Get it get it get it get it)_

'_Wwoahh'_

_(Get it get it get it get it)_

'_Uh uh uh'_ You start moving your chest faster, sucking in your stomach like you're panting, and when you look back to Santana you notice she's panting too.

'_I know I may come off quiet, may come off shy'_ You smirk at her and she gulps.

'_But I feel like talk I feel like dancing when I see this girl'_

That last bit wasn't the actual lyric of the song and it didn't really rhyme but you don't think Santana noticed or cared.

'_It's practical it's logical, what the hell who cares?'_

'_All I know is that I'm so happy when you're dancing there._' You point to her and drop to the floor. You keep your eyes trained on her as you crawl towards her along the ground. She's looking at you with such intensity you can't pull your eyes away from hers.

When you reach her you sit back on your knees and run your hands slowly up her legs. She parts them instantly and your breath hitches at the action. You weren't even intending to do that but the fact that she did it herself turns you on to no end. You start to feel that familiar throbbing between your legs and you pinch them together to ease some of the pressure.

'_I'm a slave for you'_ You sing, looking directly into her darkened eyes.

'_I cannot hold it, I cannot control it'_ You run your hands from her knees all the way to the top of her thighs and move forward until you're right between her legs. You look up at her as you stroke teasingly up and down the outside of her thighs, just until you reach the hem of her shorts, and then back down again. She's biting her lip and her eyes are flicking rapidly from your eyes to your hands like she's not sure which she should be looking at. She eventually settles for your eyes.

'_I'm a slave for you_

_I won't deny it_

_I'm not tryin to hide it'_

You hook your hands around the back of her knees and pull her towards you until her core is practically flush against your stomach. You hear Santana gasp at the contact but you keep your cool, thankful that there are still a few layers of clothing between you two.

'_Baby don't you wanna, dance up on me?'_

You climb up off the floor and swing your legs over Santana's lap until she's now the one between your legs. Her hand finally releases its grasp on the covers and moves to your hips, steading you on her lap, her bandaged hand doing the best it can to hold on. You sink down onto her lap until your chest is at the same level as Santana's face. You giggle when her eyes immediately fly to your cleavage.

'_Leaving behind my name and age'_

You wink at Santana before bringing your hands to the bottom of your shirt and slowly bringing it back up and over your head, wiggling your hips and stomach as you do. You drop the shirt to the floor and flick out your hair before resting your arms around Santana's neck. Her eyes are locked onto your chest and you arch your back and let your head fall back until your boobs are inches away from her face.

You hear her mumble something but you didn't quite catch it over the music, you don't even know if it were words actually.

'_Do you like that?'_ You sing and Santana unknowingly nods her head.

You giggle and lean forward so that your lips are by her ear and smile when you feel Santana's hands run up your naked back until her fingers are playing with the strap of your green bra.

'_You like it?'_ You breathe. You're hardly singing now. Being this close to her is sucking all the oxygen from your lungs and it's all you can do to just breathe right now.

'Fuck.' You hear her pant and you think that might have been what she said before too.

'_Yeah…now watch me'_

You keep your knees firmly planted on the mattress on either side of Santana's hips but you let go of her neck and you slowly arch your back backwards, trusting Santana to guide you down until your long hair is almost hitting the floor and then bringing you back up, vertebrae by vertebrae as her hands glide over your hot skin and up your spine. When you're sitting straight on her again you flick your hair to the side and start grinding down into her lap along with the beat.

'_I really wanna dance, tonight with you'_

Santana's hands fly back to your hips and start aiding your movements.

'_I really wanna do, what you want me to'_ You say and her eyes lock back onto yours. They're so dark now you can barely see her pupils.

'_Baby –'_ You're about to go into the next line but Santana unexpectedly pulls you closer to her roughly and your throbbing core grinds against her stomach, making you just moan 'baby' into her ear without care for the song anymore.

'Fuck you're so sexy Brittany.' Santana groans and those words alone make you completely forget about the song playing through the room. Instead all you concentrate on is the slow consistent rocking that you've found your hips doing and the wetness that seems to be accumulating between your legs. All you want to do is grind harder and faster and have Santana touch every inch of your skin and for the first time you find that there's no voice in your head telling you that you should stop. All you can hear is your body crying out for you to keep going and the soft pleading pants coming from the girl below you. Oh god.

'I gotta stop drinking around you, I say things I shouldn't…' Santana chuckles breathlessly. Her hands are stroking teasingly up your thighs, every so often slipping under your shorts as you grind forward and it's driving you crazy. You just want to feel more of her, you want to feel her everywhere, you want to know what her lips taste like.

'You do things you shouldn't too.' You say and her eyes drag back up your chest until they lock with yours.

'Like what?' She asks quietly. You watch her eyes glance down to your lips and you gulp. This is it.

'Like kiss me.' You whisper.

You lean forward instantly, not even giving her the option to kiss you or not, but it doesn't really matter because she leans in too. Your lips just brush against each other at first, both taking in a sharp breath of surprise and holding it there for a second, breathing in eachothers hot air. Your lips are barely touching, they're just hovering over each other, but it's enough to send shivers down your spine and for your heart to feel like it's about to beat out of your chest.

And then she leans forward that little bit further and her lips are on yours.

You gasp in shock and your hands instantly fly up to her neck and coax her closer. Oh my god her lips are so soft. If you thought they were soft on your neck than wow, you didn't even know what soft was. It's like you can feel every dip of her lip, you can feel the heat coming from her mouth, and you can taste her, you can actually taste her skin and you can feel the little breaths of air hitting your lips when she moves them to get a better angle. It's too much.

You're kissing Santana.

You're actually kissing her.

And she's kissing you back.

'Ugh.' You moan into her mouth. You feel her hands trail down your naked back until they reach just above your shorts where they start massaging the skin there. 'Santana.'

You part from her mouth so you can take a breath and she follows you with her lips. She moans when your lips reattach and you tangle your fingers through the strands of hair running over the back of her neck, tugging on them lightly to make her groan.

When you feel her tongue slide out of her hot mouth and run along your bottom lip you practically fall apart. You've never been so turned on by a kiss before, you know you're soaking by now, you don't even need to feel it to know, in fact Santana probably knows too if she takes your pants and moans by any indication. God, you're so turned on.

You want more. No, you need more.

You surge forward and push yourself harder into her body. Santana answers by gripping your hips tighter and tilting her head to the side so she can deepen the kiss. This is so hot. You think if Santana wasn't keeping you steady than you'd probably be in a heap of pleasure on the floor already.

'More.' You moan. You don't know what more is but you know you need it, you need more of her.

You melt when Santana's hands move from your lower back down to your ass where she squeezes with every downwards thrust you make. It feels so good, but it's still not enough. You're so hot you just need more!

'Santana touch me.' You breathe, or it could have been a whine you're not really sure but you know she heard it.

Santana stops her movements, and after a moment you do too.

You try to search her eyes but she's not looking at you.

'Get off me Britt.' She says quietly.

You feel your heart sink.

You untangle your hands from her hair and you slink off her body, willing the tears not to form in your eyes.

You bend down to pick up your shirt so you can cover your body but Santana stops you. She's still sitting on the bed but she reaches out to you until she grabs onto the waistband of your shorts, and she's bringing you closer. You let her guide you in confusion.

She looks up to you nervously when you're close enough to her and it suddenly dawns on you why you had to get off her lap. You quickly nod your head in permission and Santana slowly begins bringing your shorts and your panties down your legs. You thank god there's not a heap of light in the room and hope that she can't see absolutely everything.

You watch as she chucks your garments to the floor and then reaches for your hand. You give it to her willingly and she pulls you back onto her lap. This time when you kiss, it's slower, and more passionate. You feel so bare sitting on top of Santana with your legs spread and no panties on but you're too excited to care. You want to know what she's going to do, you're already so wet just the slightest touch will probably send you over the edge.

'Do you still want this?' Santana breathes as her fingers on her good hand brush soothingly over your thighs. You nod your head frantically.

'Please.' You say. You don't mean to sound so desperate but when she smiles at you like that you're kind of glad you said it.

Santana leans forward again and captures your lips in a searing kiss. God you could kiss her for ever and ever and not get sick of it. You're so concentrated on the feeling of her lips on yours that you almost come on the spot when you feel her smooth fingers slide up the inside of your thigh.

'Santana.' You pant into her mouth and feel her smirk against your lips. Her fingers keep tickling up your skin until finally they reach your core and you pull your whole mouth away from Santana's and bury your face into her neck. Oh god.

'You're so wet.' She comments as her fingers slide through your folds and your eyes are practically rolling into the back of your head. You've never felt like this before, not even with Artie. You're pretty sure you're going to explode in like two seconds if she doesn't do something soon.

'Santana, please.' You beg. 'I'm so close already.'

You start sucking frantically on her neck in hopes that she will get the hint and fasten her pace too.

'Oh fuck, Brittany.' Santana moans and you thank the heavens when she starts moving her fingers at a quicker pace through your folds.

You don't know if it was on purpose or not, judging by the way she stilled instantly you think it wasn't, but on one of her thrusts her fingers slowly slipped inside of you and the pleasure you felt from having her inside of you was completely overwhelming. Her body tenses and her chest is heaving against yours. You don't think she was intending on doing that.

'Keep going Santana.' You say in encouragement. 'It feels so good. Please, I'm so close.'

You place a gentle kiss under her ear and she slowly slides her fingers out a little bit, before sliding back in, and oh my god…heaven.

'You're so tight.' She moans and starts sucking on the skin of your collar bone. Jesus.

'Faster.' You pant and she immediately complies, doubling her pace and thrusting harder. 'Oh god, Santana i-i…I'm c-'

You feel your legs shake uncontrollably and your body collapse into Santana. Thankfully she catches you with her other hand and lets you drape your body over hers in exhaustion.

Wow.

Eventually she slips her fingers out of you and you moan at the sensation. She lowers herself down on to the bed and giggles when you don't stop yourself from falling on top of her again. You're whole body feels like jelly.

'That reminds me…Beiste said you could audition tomorrow.' Santana chuckles and you giggle with her.

'Okay.' You mumble into her chest. You can't really find the energy in your body to care about your audition right now. 'Your turn?'

'Uh no that's okay, lets just sleep yeah?' She says and brings a hand up to stroke through your hair. Your eyes are already closed so you just nod peacefully and drift off to sleep, letting Santana figure out how to get you both back under the covers.

_**XX**_

_**Well all that was completely different to how I had planned this chapter out haha what did you think?**_


	14. Chapter 14

_**Hey lovelies!**_

_**Sorry for being a bit late but I've been busy! Thank you for being patient. I don't know why but this chapter was a bitch to write and I'm still not really happy with it but I hope you like it:/**_

_**It seems like pretty much everyone had been waiting a long time for the last chapter haha the reviews made me laugh.**_

_**Mick3yr92: So happy you like the pace! Thankyou:)**_

_**RTgleek: how was work on a few hours sleep? Haha**_

_**Zurrli: hey thanks so much for your opinion, honestly when I was writing it I felt like it could have been rushed a little but I figured they were in the moment, they had been drinking, it was their birthday, why not? Haha hope this chapter is alright:)**_

_**Addict: Hey don't be mocking Sailormoon! Haha I watched it when I was younger and I was obsessed with it. Thanks for reviewing, here's your heroin dose;)**_

_**Pourwords: haha I think you'll be fine reading this one in public;)**_

_**LoveNaya: ooh your idea might come true!**_

_**Sassygleek: haha! Glad I could make things uncomfortable for you;)**_

_**BlueLightsM: no don't die yet I still need your help! Haha I might be PMing you soon for your help if that's cool:)**_

_** .java: hahaha I love you, you always write the funniest reviews! Glad to hear you still love the story, and don't worry you'll find your Santana and she will be way better than you ever could have imagined:)**_

_**Permanentmark: I'm planning a chapter at the moment which will basically solely revolve around Santana's past so I'm looking forward to you guys seeing that:)**_

_**msHeatherette: Thanks for the review! I'm going to ignore the fact that you walk your cat…haha**_

_**JLHarca: THANKYOU VERY MUCH! Haha**_

_**Katiek28: I swear you must live in Australia because you always have the same holidays and time of day as me, if so don't worry i'm not a stalker haha promise. Thank you so much for reviewing, really glad you liked the chapter:)**_

_**Steph: there was a time when you stopped loving me?! *loud dramatic gasp***_

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_**Ig4az: Your review made me truly happy, thank you:)xx**_

You wake up the next day and smile when you smell the familiar scent of Santana's room. The silk of her covers against your naked skin reminds you of last night, and then you're smiling even wider. You can't believe that happened. It was all so, so sudden. You weren't even fully aware you had these feelings for Santana until last night but now that it's happened, you can't really understand why you never saw it before. She's beautiful, she's smart, she's sexy and she's caring…you're surprised you haven't tried to kiss her earlier.

And she kissed you.

Well she did more than kiss you…

That thought makes you blush but giggle at the same time.

God, she feels the same way, she has to if she was able to make love to you like that. She made love to you. Santana Lopez.

With a burst of happiness you roll over onto your other side to see if your little snuggle bunny is awake yet. Your lips form a pout when you see the bed is bare. Boo.

Santana is never awake before you are…maybe she's taken up running?

You sigh and let out a puff of air into the quiet room. She hasn't taken up running.

You lie there for a while, naked in an otherwise empty bed, and your mind drifts back to last night. God, it was so amazing. The feeling of having Santana so close to you, her eyes locked onto your body like she couldn't tear them away, her hands running over your skin, her chest heaving against yours, her fingers…

God.

You roll over onto your back and take a deep breath. Where is she?

Reaching over, you grab your phone from the bedside table, and check for any messages. You get excited when you see you have one but frown when you see who it's from.

_FromSam: Hey Britt! Sorry had to work stocktake at work last night:( Are you free tonight?_

You scoff and roll your eyes. You try and think of a good reply but eventually you give up and just click out of the message, opening a new one. You can't be bothered dealing with Sam right now, not when Santana's missing.

_ToSantana: Where are you?:)_

You lie still and wait patiently for the response. She doesn't actually text you back for another half an hour, you thought about getting out of bed and showering in that time but you didn't want to miss her if she decided to call you instead.

When your phone finally buzzes your face lights up in anticipation.

_FromSantana: Your auditions at 2, I wrote down directions in the kitchen. I'd say break a leg but knowing you, you probably would. So good luck._

You frown at her message. She didn't really answer your question but you can't really focus on that right now, not when you have an audition in about five hours and you don't even have a routine put together!

In a frantic rush you flip off the covers and jump out of Santana's bed, giggling to yourself as you run through the house naked, the cool morning air making you feel a little more alive. You decide to bypass a shower for now, deciding you will shower after you work out a routine, and you get dressed in dancing gear in your room and head to the kitchen for breakfast. You're so happy Santana stocked up the pantry and fridge with food, it saves you having to think about your next meal every day.

While you're making some toast you spot the note Santana left you on the kitchen counter. You can't help but smile at her cursive handwriting, yet another fine detail you've learnt about her. You wonder if she was taught to write like that in school or maybe her grandmother taught her, it is a quite old-style of writing, beautiful though.

You're thankful when you read the note and realise she didn't just write down an address but she actually took the time to explain how to get there.

_Turn right when you leave the apartment block, turn right again at the end of the street and then keep walking straight until you find a pizza shop called Mr Peet-za, cross the street at the traffic lights there and then keep walking straight up that street until you come across a homeless man playing the bagpipes. If you look across the road from him you will see a big red flashing sign that says 'Beauty and the Beiste'. It'll take about twenty minutes on foot. Good luck._

You find yourself smiling by the end of the note.

Okay, time to practice!

XXXXXXXXX

'Brittany!'

You smile wide and wave to Sugar as she rushes to stop the music on her dock. After a good two hours of dancing and then showering, having lunch, and getting dressed, you found yourself too anxious to just sit around the apartment and wait for time to pass by until your audition. So instead you figured you would come and see Sugar since you haven't been busking in a while, plus she still has your cardigan and you really want that back.

'Hi Sugar!' You smile as she drops her hoops and skips over to you. Luckily it looks like a pretty slow day, nobody seems to be stopping to pay attention to the buskers.

'I thought that twisted ankle of yours must have killed you girl!' Sugar jokes. 'Where have you been?'

You laugh and do a little twirl on the spot to show that it's all better and Sugar claps happily. You smile because she seems genuinely relieved you're okay.

'I was out for a few days but I'm back on my feet now!' You say excitedly. 'Sorry I haven't been around, how's it going anyway?'

Sugar sighs and shrugs. 'It's getting pretty dim around here, a lot less tourists and more cranky businessmen who don't have time to stop and shout us some shrapnel.'

You frown and bite your lip. You had no idea it was getting that bad, you feel a little guilty that you've been having so much fun these last few days and she's been out here working her ass off for next to nothing.

'Oh I've got all your stuff in my car by the way.' She says and you nod your head in thanks.

'Thanks.' You say. 'Um would you mind if I got it now? I kind of have an audition I have to get to…'

'An audition?' She asks excitedly. 'For what?'

'Dancing at Beauty and the Beiste.'

Sugar shrieks and you jump a little in fright.

'You've heard of it?' You ask in amusement and Sugar nods her head frantically. 'Well…would you like to come and audition with me?'

You don't really know if it's an open audition, probably not, but you can't just leave Sugar dancing for people who don't even notice her when she could be dancing up on a stage with you for paying customers. You have to give her this chance too, just like Santana gave you a chance.

'Hell yeah Brittany!' Sugar screams and practically throws herself into your unexpecting arms. 'Oh my god can we go right now?!'

You giggle and pull out your phone to check the time. 'Uh yeah, actually we can.'

XXXXXXXXXX

'Names?'

You feel your palms start to sweat as you look around at all the other girls here, there must be over twenty other girls, and they all look like professional dancers. You even heard one girl say that her agent had booked the audition for her and that it really stuffed up her schedule. You're really glad you decided to bring Sugar, not only does she come from the same performance experience as you but she's also doing a really good job at distracting you from all the chattering.

'Brittany, look at the ceiling!' Sugar gasps. You take your eyes off the large woman on the stage who is demanding girls to come up and give their names and you let your head fall back to look at the ceiling.

You gasp too when you see the dark burgundy ceiling with chandelier lights placed perfectly above the tables that you're all currently seated at. The tables are small and circular, they probably could only seat three people at most but they are scattered around the old rustic floors to give an ideal view of the front stage. The stage is lined with big red curtains and lights overhead. When you look around you see the bar and smile to yourself, thinking of Santana behind that bar.

'Come on Britt, we better go give her our names.' Sugar whispers in your ear. You swallow a lump in your throat, feeling those nerves start to come back but you nod your head and stand up. You wish Santana was here, she'd know how to calm you down.

As you walk up to the stage you look up and find that the big woman is already watching you. Oh god.

'Names?' She asks sternly and you feel your face go blank.

'I'm Sugar.' She says happily. 'This is Brittany.'

Oh thank god.

You want to give Sugar a big warm hug right now but you're going to have to wait until after the audition, hugging her now would be kind of weird, and you don't want this woman to think you're weird.

'Take a seat girls, I'll give everyone the run down.' The woman says after she writes your name down.

You just nod shakily and Sugar grabs your hand to lead you back to your table. Well that went well.

'Okay listen up girls! My name is Shannon Beiste, I am the owner and will be deciding which of you will be lucky enough to join our team here today.'

Wait, she's Beiste?

You look the woman up and down, she does kind of look like a beast….

'My head dancer is going to lead you through one of the dances and then you will all perform that dance in a group of five. Best dancers will get a place. If you're all crap on a stick, no one will get a place. Simple.' Beiste explains. You look to Sugar to see how she is taking this and she just nods her head like that's a fair call. Okay, so you're really glad you brought her. 'Alright everyone I want to introduce you all to my head dancer Kitty.'

Beiste gestures towards one of the curtains and out pops a young looking girl with blonde hair and eyes that are already glaring at the girls before her like you are all fresh meat or something. She did nothing to ease your nerves, that's for sure.

'Kitty, take it from here.' Beiste said and Kitty just nods, placing her hands firmly on her hips and looking down at you all. 'Oh and girls, I'll be watching.'

You swallow hard as Beiste winks and walks off stage.

'Okay bitches I'm Kitty, stage name _KittyKat._' The blonde explains. You smile when Sugar does a little 'meow' next to you. 'I'm going to take you through our opening number, so everyone up on stage now and we don't fuck around here so you either give it your all or you're out, understood?'

'Yes Kitty!' everyone chants. You frown because you missed the chant, had everyone practised that beforehand? You're not really getting off to the best start…

XXXXXXXXXXX

When the auditions are over you're all seated back around the tables you were seated at from the start and anxiously await Kitty's return. Apparently Beiste had been watching you all from the top bleachers and she was to decide which girls were in and which girls were out.

You don't think you've ever been so nervous before in your life. You think you did pretty good but it's so hard to tell when everyone else around you did so good also, I mean all these girls are amazing dancers. What chance do you have?

'That was fun.' You hear Sugar say and you can't help but chuckle at her as she stretches on the floor. You were surprised to find out Sugar is actually a really good dancer without her hulla hoops to distract her. You hope she gets a place.

'Alright sluts are you ready?'

Your eyes snap back to the stage when Kitty waltzes in with a shit eating grin on her face. Oh god this is it. You reach out and grab Sugar's hand and she squeezes it in return.

'The following names come up on stage. If I don't call out your name fuck off back home, you weren't good enough.' Kitty smirks and flips her ponytail over her shoulder. She's kind of mean. 'Okay Stacey.' A girl to your left jumps out of her seat and squeals. 'Marissa…Sugar…'

You let out a squeak of excitement and Sugar just about rips off your hand when she runs up onto the stage. You smile at her for a second, standing there up on stage and bouncing around like a little girl on Christmas. You're really happy you made the decision to bring her, she deserves to be dancing on a stage and – 'and Brittany. That's it bitches, better luck next time, maybe try taking an actual dance class losers.'

You feel all the breath leave your body in an instant. Did she just say your name? She said Brittany right? Was there only one Brittany? Is that you?

'Brittany?' Kitty asks in frustration, looking out over all the groaning girls beginning to leave the venue.

'Brittany get up here girl!' Sugar shouts at you from the stage. That seems to bring you out of your wonderland and you quickly get out of your seat and stagger up onto the stage. Sugar encases you in a massive hug as soon as your feet hit the flooring.

'We did it!' She squeals into your ear.

'Alright I haven't got all day so lets get this over with.' Kitty sighs loudly. 'Tonight you will all be dancing on stage. If you have prior commitments then don't bother showing up, ever.'

You're really glad you didn't have any plans tonight.

'Be here by seven o'clock for practice, you'll be going on late so that if you're shit all the patrons will be drunk anyway so they probably won't notice and our sexy reputation will still be intact. Now before I hand you over to our costume designer Kurt for fittings, you all need stage names, now –'

'Stage names?' You hear someone ask. You spin around to see an Asian girl walk in dressed in sweats with a bag hanging over her shoulder. She's smirking at Kitty and it's then you notice the girl as one of Santana's friends that were in your apartment not long ago. You frown when you realise she must encourage Santana to do drugs. 'That's my favourite part of initiation. Make sure she gives you a good one girls.'

Kitty rolls her eyes at the girl as she slips into a side door labelled '_Staff Only'_.

'That's Tina.' She explains with a flick of her hand. 'Stage name _Asian Persuasion.'_

You giggle a little at her name and Sugar nudges you in the ribs lightly. When you look up Kitty is glaring at you and you gulp nervously. Oops.

'You can be…' Kitty stalks towards you slowly, looking you up and down, pondering what name to give you. You can feel yourself get more and more anxious the closer she comes.

'Santana calls me Sunshine.' You blurt before she can get any closer. Kitty stops and looks at you curiously. She's smirking at you and you want to know what she thinks is so funny but you really don't want to ask her.

'_Little Miss Sunshine_.' She says smugly, like she's trying the name out on her tongue. She nods her head gently and clicks her fingers. 'Yeah, you can be the little innocent girl who turns into a sex goddess by the end of the night. The young and shy guys will love you.'

_Little Miss Sunshine_…you kind of like that.

'And you Sugar, you can be…' Kitty turns to Sugar and looks her up and down. 'Actually you can just be Sugar, that's whorish enough.'

Sugar cheers and pumps her fists into the air.

'Whoop whoop, Sugar Hula!'

'What's your name?' Kitty asks another girl.

'Stacey.' The dark head girl says.

'Okay…alright I've got it. You and Sugar are teaming up, you'll be _Sugar and Spice_.' Kitty claps her hands and smiles proudly to herself. 'God, I'm a genius.'

XXXXXXXXXXXX

The rest of your day ends up being really fun. After your fitting with Kurt, where you got to dress up in really pretty and sexy costumes, Sugar suggested that you both go and practice the opening number together so you can really get it perfect for tonight. You agreed so you both went back to your apartment and practiced. You were kind of hoping Santana would be home because you wanted to tell her the good news, but sadly she wasn't. You want to know why she's avoiding you, or if she even is avoiding you. Maybe she's just really busy today?

Whatever, you still had heaps of fun with Sugar anyway. It was nice hanging out with someone else for a change, someone who you can now comfortably call a friend. After a few hours of practice and Sugar shouting you dinner as a thankyou for inviting her to the auditions, you finally make your way back to _Beauty and the Beiste _for your professional debut on a real stage!

You and Sugar sang all the way there in the car, failing at keeping your excitement and nerves locked up inside.

When you enter the Burlesque bar, using the passes Kitty gave you before you left, your jaw just about drops to the floor. You can't believe how many people are here. The tables you were sitting at earlier in the day have been filled with young and middle-aged men laughing and knocking back drinks. There is music pumping over the speakers as two girls dressed in bedazzled short dresses dance up on stage. Waitresses in short skirts and corsets brush past you in a rush to get drinks out to tables of slurring men. The place has been transformed, it's like it comes alive at night time. The place is dark and mysterious but the stage is lit up like a wonderland. You can't believe you are going to be up on that stage later.

As Sugar leads you towards the '_Staff Only'_ door something catches your eye and you stop.

'Um I'll catch up with you okay?' You say and Sugar looks at you oddly before nodding. You wait until she disappears through the door and then you turn your attention back to the bar. Your eyes fall onto the girl you have been missing all day.

Santana's standing behind the bar and racing back and forth as waitresses call out orders to her. You just stand there and watch her for a moment. She looks like she belongs behind that bar, like she's in her element. You feel your feet move closer to her and before you know it your standing in front of the bar and waiting for her to lift her head from the drink she's mixing.

You lean your elbows on the bar and watch her work. She looks so concentrated on the drink she's making, which by the way looks delicious, it's like blue and purple and you bet it tastes so good. You smile when you spot the bandaid taped over her knuckle, and your glad to see her other knuckles don't look so bad anymore.

'Hows the hand?' You find yourself asking. You didn't think Santana would hear you over the loud music but she must be used to having to listen carefully to drink orders because she lifts her head almost instantly…and then her eyes are locked on yours. Her mouth kind of opens for a second but then she shuts it before she can speak. You find yourself smiling quietly at her shocked expression. 'Hey.'

'Hi.' She says back. You think she might answer your question from before but she doesn't. She's just looking at you.

'Where were you this morning?' You ask. You watch as Santana's eyes dart around her cautiously before focusing back on the drink she's making.

'Had shit to do.' She shrugs and gets a little stick to stir the drink before placing it on the bar bench, a girl pops out of nowhere to grab the drink and place it on her tray. You frown at her answer but you don't really have time to question her because she's turning around and picking up a glass and then she's walking over to the beer taps to pour a beer. You sigh and follow her down the bar. You really want to ask her why she wasn't around today.

'Are you nervous about your open mic dance?' She says before you can open your mouth. So she must have found out that your audition went well. You want to smile because that means she asked someone how you went but you don't have time to think about that when you're still confused about her question. Open mic dance?

'What's that?' You ask. Santana places the beer on top of the bar and stares at you curiously.

'Beiste didn't tell you?' She asks. You shake your head and Santana frowns. 'That cow. Every Newbie has to go through initiation. Basically your first dance on stage is set to the ear piercing sounds of whoever the mic gets passed to in the audience. The regulars love it. You have to dance to whatever slurred bullshit comes out of their drunk ass mouths and still look hot. It usually separates the weak from the strong, that's why Beiste loves doing it to the Newbies.' She explains. You feel your whole body go cold. You're not prepared for this.

'Hey.' Santana says. You lift your head hesitantly and lock eyes with her. She's looking at you like she knows exactly what you're thinking. 'Don't worry you'll be fine.'

'I'm nervous.' You say quietly. 'What if I'm not good enough, you know…Sexy enough.'

You feel yourself blush at your words and that just makes you even more nervous. How are you supposed to be all sexy and confident if you blush at just saying the word sexy? Argh. You expect Santana to laugh at you but thankfully she doesn't.

'Beiste wouldn't have hired you if she didn't think you could handle it.' She says as she begins pouring another beer. 'Plus, speaking from personal experience…' She focuses her eyes on the quickly filling glass and you can see a slight blush forming on her cheeks. '…You'll be more than good enough.'

You feel a small smile grace your lips as you watch her face heat up. At least now you know she remembers last night, she's just choosing not to talk about it. That doesn't really make you feel any better.

'Well I better get back there..' You say slowly. Santana doesn't lift her head, she just nods and turns around to grab another glass. Sighing, you turn around too and head backstage.

A few hours later you are standing to the side of the stage, dressed in a bright yellow short skirt with a yellow and white corset as the top half which pushes your breasts up perfectly, and thigh length white socks and white garters attached to hook onto your matching underwear under your dress. Kurt had made the outfit to match your _Little Miss Sunshine _persona. Your hair has been loosely curled and drapes naturally over your shoulder. Your heels are really high and you're just praying that you can dance in them.

You can hear the crowd from behind the curtain as you watch_ KittyKat_ perform her solo routine on stage. You find it a little funny that she has cat ears and a tail. But before you can let her amusing costume relax you the performance is coming to an end, and the lights are dimming, and you know what's coming next.

'Hi boys are we having fun tonight?' Kitty asks in a sultry voice. You hear the loud roar of the crowd and your nerves double. 'Excellent. Now I want to introduce you to a few of my friends for a little open mic dancing, would you like that?' The crowd roars even louder. 'Easy Tigers, save it for the girls. My first girl tonight comes from a small country town where on the weekends she helps out on her family's farm. She loves animals, sunbathing on the beach, and carnivals. She's cute as a button but don't be fooled boys this girl isn't all sunshine and rainbows.'

You had thought Kitty might have been talking about one of the other girls but as soon as she said Sunshine the hairs on your arm stood up.

'Please give a warm welcoming for my adorable friend…_Little Miss Sunshineeee_!'

You feel your breath hitch and your muscles freeze up.

'Brittany, that's you Hun.' Sugar nudges you a bit and you finally let your legs start to take you out on stage. Your first reaction is dear god the lights are bright. You can barely see anything out there. You decide that's probably a good thing. Actually not knowing what's out there is easing your nerves slightly, but only slightly because you can still hear the cheers as you walk out on stage.

Kitty smirks at you when you reach the middle of the stage and then she's walking down the steps into the audience and you gulp. Shit, it's only you now. You stand on the stage awkwardly and strain your eyes to watch Kitty move through the tables.

'Now which lovely gentleman would like to start us off tonight?' Kitty says into the microphone with a smug smile. There's a table off to the right who erupt in cheers and Kitty ventures over there with the mic. You cringe at the look of the men. They look drunk even from where you are standing . One of the men reaches out for the mic and Kitty happily gives it to him.

You steady your stance and prepare yourself to dance to whatever he sings. He looks a little older than you so you hope it's something that you know.

The man slurs into the microphone for a second and you can't really tell what he said so you just kind of sway your hips a little, trying your best to look sexy. The man coughs into the microphone and then starts again.

'Tahke..it..offf!' The man yells and you stop swaying in shock.

'Take. It. Off!' He yells again and the next time his mates join in. You look to Kitty for help but she's laughing along with the men and soon half the bar is chanting 'Take. It. Off!' along with the man.

You feel your chest start to heave with anxiety. What are you supposed to do? If there's no music how are you supposed to dance? Maybe you could just run off stage? No, then Beiste definitely wouldn't give you the job. Santana said this is her test, and you have to pass if you want the job.

'Take. It. Off!' they continue to chant. You look to Kitty once again but this time she's scowling at someone in the direction of the bar. You try to squint through the light and your eyes eventually land on Santana. She looks mad. She seems to be yelling something at Kitty and throwing her hands in the direction of the man with the mic. She's practically jumping over the bar she's leaning across it so far. You don't think you've ever seen her so mad. You look back to Kitty and watch her roll her eyes and concentrate back on the man.

You look back to Santana and this time she catches your eye. You can hardly see her but you know she can see you perfectly, so you try and convey all your messages to her in just a look and hope to god she can do something to help you. She's looking around the bar like she's going to find the answer there until you see another figure walk up to her and she grabs him by the shirt. You squint harder and you realise he looks like Puck.

'Take. It. Off!'

You watch Santana and Puck run from behind the bar and make their way towards the group of men chanting. When they're closer you hear Santana yell at Kitty.

'Kitty, give me the mic!'

Yes, please someone take it off that man!

Kitty whips her head back and when she sees them advancing she rolls her eyes at Santana and steps back, letting Santana march up to the man and snatch the microphone from his hand. What happens next, you could never have predicted. Santana brings the microphone up to her mouth, and she begins to sing.

'_Hey I heard you were a wild one'_

That chanting stops…and so does your heart.

'_Oooh_

_If I took you home_

_It'd be a home run_

_Show me how you'll do'_

Santana looks directly at you and gestures with her eyes for you to dance. You're so captivated by her voice that it takes you a second to find your feet, but when you do, you don't hold back.

'_I want to shut down the club_

_With you_

_Hey I heard you like the wild ones_

_Oooh'_

You see Santana quickly hand Puck the microphone and that's when the beat of the song starts to kick in. You don't know where the beats are coming from but you're thankful that you have something to dance to now. You try and hold back your laughter as Puck begins to rap.

'_I like crazy, foolish, stupid_

_Party going wild, fist pumping_

_Music, I might lose it_

_Blast to the roof, that's how we do'z it_

_I don't care the night, she don't care we like_

_Almost dared the right five_

_Ready to get popping, ain't no surprise_

_Take me so high, jumping no doubts_

_Surfing the crowd_

_Oooh'_

He's running around like a wild man now, weaving through the tables and fistbumping the guys who hold out their hands.

'_Said I gotta be the man_

_When they heading my van, might check one too_

_Shut them down in the club while the playboy does it, and y'all get lose lose_

_After bottle, we all get bit and again tomorrow_

_Gotta break loose cause that's the motto_

_Club shuts down, I heard you're super models'_

He bounces back to Santana and hands her the mic which she gladly takes.

'_Hey I heard you were a wild one'_

She smirks at you and you wink at her before twirling around and dropping into the splits.

'_Oooh_

_If I took you home_

_It'd be a home run'_

You can't help but think she made a home run last night, or maybe that was you who made the home run?

'_Show me how you'll do_

_I want shut down the club_

_With you'_

She points to you and you drag your hands up your body to rake through your hair and tease it into the air.

'_Hey I heard you like the wild ones_

_Oooh'_

Now it's Puck's turn again. The crowd is going crazy right now. You're grateful that only about half of the attention is on you and the other half is on these amazing talents that no one even knew about. You can't believe you've been living with Santana and you had no idea she could sing like that. You can't help but feel you've been missing out. You wonder what other surprises she has up her sleeve for you.

'_Party rocker, foot show stopper_

_More shampoo_

_Never one, club popper_

_Got a hangover like too much vodka_

_Can't see me with ten binoculars_

_So cool_

_No doubt by the end of the night_

_Got the clothes coming off_

_Til I make that move_

_Somehow, someway, gotta raise the roof, roof_

_All black shades when the sun come through'_

Puck jumps up on the stage and you think he's about to start dancing with you but before he can Santana's up on the stage too and pulling him away from you and into her.

'_Oh, it's on like everything goes_

_Round up baby til the freaky show_

_What happens to that body, it's a private show_

_Stays right here, private show'_

You don't look at them as they dance, instead you just concentrate on your own dancing.

'_I like em untamed, don't tell me how pain_

_Tell them this, bottoms up with the champagne_

_My life, coming harder than we hit play_

_Do you busy with the bail, were you insane'_

You only look back to them when you hear Santana's voice again.

'_Hey I heard you were a wild one_

_Oooh_

_If I took you home_

_It'd be a home run_

_Show me how you'll do_

_I want to shut down the club_

_With you_

_Hey I heard you like the wild ones_

_Oooh'_

Puck leaves the stage with a bow and you guess his part is over because he's running back to the overcrowded bar. Your attention turns back to Santana when you feel her move closer. She's looking right at you.

'_I am a wild one_

_Break me in_

_Saddle me up and lets begin'_

You feel your mouth go dry as she stalks even closer. Oh god.

'_I am a wild one_

_Tame me now_

_Running with wolves_

_And i'm on the prowl'_

When she says _prowl _her eyes flutter open and lock onto yours and it's all you can do to not let your knees buckle and fall into the audience. She finishes the song and you thank god when the lights dim and the curtains begin to drape across the stage, separating you from the crazy crowd.

Your chest is heaving and your mind is running wild. What the hell just happened?

You turn to Santana to congratulate her on her performance, but you're only greeted with her back as she runs towards the exit. You go to follow her but a second later arms are encasing you from every angle and you don't get a chance.

'Brittany that was amazing!' Sugar yells as she squeezes you tighter.

'Thanks.' You mutter with a half smile.

'Hey, you did good kiddo.' You look up over Sugar's arms to see Beiste walking towards you. 'I'll be seeing you tomorrow for practice alright?'

You nod your head and watch as she taps Sugar on the shoulder. 'You're next.'

You let go of Sugar and try and let yourself relax for a moment, your mind is all over the place right now.

'Okayyy, now one's as sweet as candy and the other is hotter than a volcanoooo.' You hear Kitty announce from the stage. 'Give it up for _Sugar and Spice_!'

XXXXXXXXXXXX

'Hey Brittany!' You put your costume back onto the hanger and spin around to the familiar voice. You smile in surprise when you see_ Girl on Fire _standing before you in a tight red and black outfit. You saw her perform earlier but you haven't had a chance to talk to her yet, you wondered if she'd remember you from the club, clearly she does. 'You were great out there tonight, I think you're a natural.' She smiles. 'What do you say we grab a drink to celebrate?'

You smile at her because it's a lovely gesture but to be honest you're completely stuffed after today and although you're excited about performing on stage, all you can think about is going home and collapsing into Santana's bed. Or, well, maybe it might be the couch tonight. You're still not quite sure what the deal is there. You really need to talk to her about last night.

'Uh thanks April, but I think I'm just going to have a quiet night in tonight, maybe another night?' You ask hopefully.

'Sure thing.' April winks. 'Let me know if you change your mind.'

You smile and nod your head at her. She's nice.

After you change and say goodbye to Sugar, you decide to have another look out the front and see if Santana is still around, maybe she could give you a ride back to the apartment. You still have the directions she wrote you but it's dark outside and you don't want to walk by yourself.

You sigh in relief when you spot her wiping down the bar with a wet cloth. She looks just as exhausted as you are, but you can't blame her, she was racing around all night making drinks. No wonder she's always in a bad mood when she gets home from work.

'I thought you said you couldn't sing?' You say with a smile as you approach the bar. Santana looks up in fright but relaxes once she see's it only you.

'I never said I couldn't, I just said I don't.' She shrugs and continues to wipe the bar. You want to know why she doesn't sing. 'Beiste spoke to me tonight.'

'What did Beiste want?' You ask curiously. Santana takes a moment to answer.

'Asked me to sing up on stage, be part of the entertainment.' She says with a little chuckle. She moves from the bench to cleaning the tap handles with the wash cloth.

'Santana, that's amazing!' You say in excitement. 'Congr-'

'I turned her down.' She mumbles. 'I'm not cut out for that crap, not really my thing.'

You frown at her words and actually scoff a little. Not her thing?

'Not really your thing?!' You say in astonishment. 'Santana you sounded like…like a sexy Angel!' Santana laughs at that but you don't really care because it's true and she needs to know how amazing she is. 'You have to take this offer, imagine being up on that stage with me, you could go so far –'

'It's not gonna happen Sunshine.' She sighs. You feel a little bit of hope drain from your body. She's calling you Sunshine again? You thought you were over that, you thought you had moved on from that.

'Really, we're back to that are we?' You ask in exhaustion. Santana just shrugs her shoulders and continues cleaning and it make you so damn mad. Why can't she just talk to you?

'Santana are we going to talk about last night?'

Santana doesn't look up, she just sighs and throws the wash cloth into the sink.

'There's nothing to talk about Brittany, we were drunk.' She says and walks over to the till, pressing a few buttons until the till pops open.

'I wasn't drunk.' You argue. You knew exactly what you were doing, and you loved every second of it, you wouldn't take last night back for anything. Does she not feel the same?

'Well I was, so…Just drop it okay?' Santana says back. She sounds like she's getting frustrated but you don't care. She needs to talk about this with you, she needs to stop closing you off.

Santana starts taking money from the till to count it.

'I don't want to drop it.' You say sternly. She slams the money onto the table and looks up to you.

'Fuck Brittany, it didn't mean anything, get over it. It's not like I kissed you because I was in love with you, I was just drunk and horny, and Puck wasn't there to satisfy my needs.' She says angrily and you feel al the colour drain from your face. 'End of story. Now can you stop talking to me I'm trying to count this.'

She's looking back down to her hands as she sifts through the money. You want to yell at her but you decide it's not worth it, she's not worth it right now. You're too tired to fight.

Instead you head back to the changing rooms, hoping April is still around. You really don't want to have to walk back to the apartment by yourself tonight. You certainly don't want to wait around for Santana to come home.

When you walk into the changing rooms you smile when you spot that auburn hair as she slips on a pair of black boots.

'That offer still on the table?' You say slyly and lean against the door frame. April looks up in surprise but her shock turns into a smirk when she see's your smiling face.

'I'll grab my coat gorgeous.'

_**Xx**_

_**Love.**_


	15. Chapter 15

_**Hello my beautiful readers:)**_

_**I just wanted to start off by mentioning a reviewer who I love but unfortunately is a guest so I can't really reply to them. But if this sounds like something you said then it's probably you haha. You've explained how it would be expected that Santana be distant for a while and not accept herself so suddenly without having to sort herself out. She is a complicated character and I know you all want sunshine and rainbows, and trust me that will come, but for now lets just enjoy the ride shall we? Because lets be honest if I put them happily together straight away you guys would be like 'well that was a bit sudden and unrealistic' haha the sunshine and rainbows will come!**_

_**Another shout out to BlueLightsM for helping me with some translation in this chapter:)greatly appreciated!**_

_**Katiek28: ooh a fellow Aussie hooray:) haha. I love that you like sugar so much! Also 'vehement', good word haha**_

_**Giadanice: haha loved your review:)**_

_**Anon: why does Santana annoy you so much?**_

_**Nix013: you get to see Brittany stand up for herself a bit more in this one!**_

_** .java: I absolutely love how positive you always are about this story, and I'm glad that you appreciate the way Santana is acting:) thank you xx**_

_**Ig4az: thank you so much! Glad you like it:) xx**_

_**Ichigoxrukia01: I love you right now:)So many good ideas! Kind of makes me wish I had read your review before I wrote that scene! Dammit:(**_

_**P4tr1c14: haha sorry!**_

_**blueRubys: yayy thank you!**_

_**journey2somewhere: so pleased you're liking the direction of this story at the moment. I can see where you're coming from with the sex thing but something like that kind of needed to happen to shock Santana into actually thinking about her life and what Brittany means to her. Hope you like this chapter:)**_

_**ScarlettDancer: yes I believe we can make my fics into movies! Haha I'd be up for that!**_

_**MGale: Loved your review:) and I'm actually planning a very intense chapter at the moment which they pretty much just talk the whole chapter and a lot of things are discovered about each other so I hope you'll like that one:)**_

_**Jrzygurl89: we surely do:)**_

_**LoveNaya: haha how'd you go on your exam?**_

_**Tea: where have you been all my life? Haha**_

_**Giocab: good to have you aboard! Hope you like this chap:)**_

_**Xx**_

'Well hello blondie.'

You smile and give a little wave to the security guard, Dave you think his name was, you remember him from last night.

'Santana's not with you is she?' He asks seriously as you approach him with April by your side. 'She's still banned.'

You shake your head. 'No she's not with me.'

Dave seems to accept this answer and with a nod of his head he lifts his rope and lets you pass. 'Have fun girls.'

You smile at him as you pass him, grateful that this time he's learnt his lesson and doesn't try to touch you or flirt with you. You're also grateful that April decided to bring you to _Jacks_ instead of a new club because you're pretty sure you wouldn't have been let in anywhere else, and that would have just been embarrassing.

'Wow straight in.' April says as you walk up through the door and into the club. You look over your shoulder and see that she's smiling at you. 'I should bring you here more often.'

You laugh as she grabs your hand and leads you over to the bar. The action leads you back to last night, when Santana had taken your hand and led you through the club to the bar also. For some reason April's hand just feels different, not a bad different, it's just not as warm as Santana's hand. But then again Santana's skin is always hot so…yeah.

'What drink would you like?' April asks once you reach the bar.

'Vodka sunrise.' You say automatically. It's really one of the only drinks you know and it tasted so damn good, but now you don't want to drink it. It reminds you again of last night, and of Santana and that's something you just don't want to think about right now. April is supposed to be distracting you not reminding you. 'No wait!' You say hurriedly. 'Um something different, surprise me.'

April smirks at you and nods her head before turning back towards the bar tender.

'Two beers thanks.' She says. You scrunch your nose up a little bit, you're pretty sure you don't like beer. Oh well.

Once you've got the drinks April begins leading you over to the couch area and you inwardly groan. Not the couches, that'll just remind you of Sam and that chick making out right in front of you. Argh.

April takes a seat on one of the two seater red couches and you reluctantly sit next to her. She takes a drink from her beer and you hesitantly do the same, squinting in disgust at the taste. Luckily April didn't catch your displeasure.

'So, can we please talk about how amazing you were tonight?' She smiles and you feel a blush begin to creep onto your cheeks. You bow your head in embarrassment and smile into your chest. April's smiling at you and you can't help but smile back, she has a really nice smile, she's not afraid to show her teeth.

'Stop.' You say jokingly and April giggles, reaching her hand out to touch your arm.

'Seriously you looked like you had been dancing up on that stage for years.' She gushes. 'I just wish Kitty hadn't given that asshole the microphone. But hey it all worked out in the end.'

You nod your head in agreement as your thoughts take you back to you standing on stage, everyone chanting for you to take your clothes off. You had no idea what to do, obviously you weren't going to just start stripping but you couldn't run away, and you couldn't dance to that insistent chanting. Thank god Santana was there. You kind of wonder why April didn't help you sooner if she saw what they were doing to you too.

'Yeah.' You say quietly, not really caring if she heard you.

April shifts her crossed legs closer to you until she's facing you and you do the same.

'So _Little Miss Sunshine_, so far you're a mystery to me.' She quirks her brow with a smile. 'Care to tell me something about yourself?'

Ooh a question game! You love these. What can you tell her?...

What can you tell her…

You can't talk about your parents because that's a bit too heavy for a first date, or gathering or whatever this is. You can't really talk about school because you don't want her to think you're a loser with no friends, and you can't talk about dancing because she already knows you're a dancer and has seen what you can do. The only interesting thing in your life at the moment is Santana and you really don't want to talk about her tonight.

'Um…' You say eventually, biting the corner of your lip. You have to think of something, you don't want her to think you're boring.

'What do you like?' April interrupts with a giggle. 'What are your favourite movies?'

That brings a smile to your face. You can answer that.

'I like Disney movies.' You say proudly. Actually you still need to make Santana watch _Beauty and the Beast _and _Aladin _to catch up a bit on her childhood.

April stares at you for a moment like she's wondering whether you're being serious or not, but after a moment her confusion turns into a lopsided smile and she's chuckling at you.

'You're cute.' She says and takes another sip of her drink, you do the same but you don't drink very much of it. You have no idea how people can actually like the taste of beer. Gross. 'Well Disney isn't really my thing, I mean I saw _Wall-E_ with my little cousin last year and that wasn't too bad, but mostly I like action films.'

You try not to frown too much at that. You want to tell her that _Wall-E _isn't even a Disney film but you don't want to sound like an obsessed child so you keep your mouth zipped and slowly nod your head.

'Right.' You smile. April takes another drink and you watch as the glass comes to her mouth and she licks the foam from her lips afterwards. She did it so slowly you think she must have known you were watching her. She really is quite pretty. You feel blessed that someone so pretty is actually taking an interest in you. In highschool the pretty girls tended to push you into lockers instead of ask you out on dates.

'So please tell me, how do you know the dragon?' April asks over a smirk. You tilt your head to the side in confusion and she laughs a little. 'Santana.' She clarifies.

Why is Santana a dragon? You think your nickname of lightning was much better and made more sense.

'Oh, uh well we're housemates.' You explain carefully. You don't want to say something that would lead to too many questions about your friendship, like maybe how you usually sleep in the same bed now, and hold each other to get to sleep. That might not be the best move to make. 'I moved here not that long ago and I was lucky enough to get the place with her.'

April snorts as she brings her beer away from her mouth.

'Some wouldn't say lucky that's for sure.' She laughs. You frown at that. You like living with Santana, even when she's being mean and grumpy she's still fun to live with. You think April has either known Santana for many years and grown tired of her ways or perhaps she just doesn't know her at all.

'So you just moved here by yourself?' She asks. You nod your head. 'Do you miss your family?'

You feel your body tense and the grip on your glass tighten. Now would probably be the time to tell her about your parents, she'll have to find out sooner or later anyway. So you should tell her…

But you can't. You just don't feel comfortable with her yet.

'Like crazy.' You say instead. At least you're not lying.

'Well maybe now you'll be raking in the money you can go visit them?' April offers and you feel your heart sink a little. God if only that were possible, to save up some money and take a trip up to heaven for a few weeks, just to see them one more time. You shake your head lightly and blink away the tears that are sure to soon follow, it's impossible. It's not her fault though, she doesn't know.

'Yeah…maybe.' You say quietly. April nods her head obliviously and downs the rest of her drink. She points to the drink in your hand with a smirk.

'Do you want another one?' She asks. You look down to your drink and see that you've taken about half a sip out of it. You blush at being caught but April just giggles. 'Don't worry, I'll know for next time not to get you beer.'

You smile down at your drink and swirl it around a little. God you're tired.

'Do you want anything else?' April asks but you just lift your head gently and shake your head no.

'Uh, I really should be getting home, I'm kind of exhausted.' You say apologetically. Thankfully April takes it lightly.

'Yeah you'll get used to that.' She smiles and takes the beer from your hand, placing it on the table beside her. She turns back to you and holds out her hand for you to take. 'Come on, we can share a cab.'

XXXXXXXXXX

When you walk into the apartment after a quick hug goodbye to April you're not entirely shocked to find Puck and Santana cuddled up on the couch watching tv. Puck nods his head in your direction to say hello and you nod back. After what he did for you tonight you can't really hate him anymore, doesn't mean you like him though.

You notice Santana's got a glass of scotch in her left hand and you frown at the thought of her drinking. Why is she even drinking? Pucks clearly staying the night, she should be fine. You just hope she doesn't drink too much, hopefully Puck will know when to tell her to stop. Judging by his character though, he probably won't.

You can feel Santana's eyes on you as you walk into the apartment but you ignore that, instead you begin to make your way to your room. You're stopped before you can get passed the couch.

'Where have you been?' You hear her ask. She almost sounds mad and you roll your eyes at her tone, it's not her right to be mad at you, it should be you who is mad at her!

'Out.' You say simply and pretend like you're trying to pay attention to the show on tv, it looks like cops or something.

'With who?' Santana asks with a bit more force. You don't look back to her, you know she's frowning and you know once you look at her you're going to get lost in those eyes and completely crumble your resolve, confessing everything.

'A friend.' You shrug your shoulders. You could have said April, you know that would make her jealous, but you're not really up for an argument right now, you just want to go to sleep.

'You don't have any friends.'

That makes your eyes shift back to Santana in an instant. Did she really just say that? By the look on her face she's probably thinking about the same thing. You huff in exhaustion and decide to continue walking to your room. You don't want to deal with a drunk Santana right now, no doubt she has more insults up her sleeve just waiting to come out of her mouth and you don't have the strength to put up with them tonight.

'Shit. Wait, Brittany I didn't mean it like that!' You hear her get off the couch and chase after you but its too late, you're almost to your room. You open your bedroom door and shut it behind yourself, not caring if Santana was right behind you or not. 'Brittany!'

You lean your back up against the door and let your head fall back onto it. A moment later there's a knocking at your door, right where your head is.

You squeeze your eyes shut. 'Go away Santana.'

'Brittany I'm sorry.' She says, quieter now. 'Please open the door.'

You sigh and shake your head to yourself. What good is it going to do? What's she going to say to you? That she's sorry for what she said? That she remembers last night? That she remembers how connected you were? That she felt it too?

You groan and spin around, opening the door in frustration. Santana must have been leaning against the door too because she falls forward a little bit, catching herself just before she collides with your body. She straightens herself up and looks into your eyes. You can see the regret but you try not to let that break you.

'I'm sorry.' She says quietly.

'You said that.' You say exhaustedly. If that's all she wanted you to open the door for then maybe you should have just kept it closed. 'Is that all?'

Santana looks at you wide eyed like she's not quite sure what to say now. Figured.

'I guess.' She says weakly. You nod your head once and go to close the door but she quickly stops it with her hand. You look back to her in question and watch her look around like she's trying to find some words. 'You were uh, really good tonight.' She says. 'I was proud of you.'

You feel that damn crumbling start to happen already. It's been a long time since you've heard the word proud being said about you. You think the last time you heard it was when you got a B on your English assignment and you showed your dad, he was so proud he stuck it on the fridge, you just didn't tell him that it was a group assignment and you only came up with the heading.

It feels good to know someone else is proud of you, that you can still make people proud, and you did this one all on your own this time. You're proud of Santana too. The way she got up on stage and sang in front of all those people, you know she didn't want to do that, but she did do it, and she did it for you.

'I'm proud of you too.' You say honestly. You watch a small smile cross those plump red lips and you sigh. 'Why didn't you tell me you sung?'

Santana shrugs and looks to the floor. 'I haven't sung since school.'

'Why?' You ask. She keeps skirting around all these questions but she never actually gives you an explanation. It's tiring. 'Did anyone here know you sing?'

'No.' She shakes her head. 'I mean apart from Ducky…but I guess that doesn't count.'

You feel your chest swell with unexpected warmth. She talks to Ducky?

You hoped she would but you could never be sure if she actually liked your gift or not. You wonder what else Ducky knows…

'How was your date with Sam tonight?' Santana asks coldly. Your eyes snap back up to hers to find her smirking. She's acting like she just caught you out on a secret you had been hiding from her, but you weren't hiding anything, in fact you weren't even out with Sam. Does she really think you would go out with him again after he hooked up with another girl?

'I wasn't on a date with Sam.' You say confidently.

'Bullshit.' Santana scoffs, supporting herself by leaning her arms against each side of the door frame. 'You're really going to stand there and lie to me? I've never lied to you.'

Now it's your turn to scoff. 'Well that's a lie right there.'

'What?' She asks in shock. She really thinks that she's never lied to you before. Well, we'll see about that. 'Give me one example when I have lied to you?'

She cranes her neck with a smug smile and you know she doesn't think you'll be able to come up with an answer, and to be honest she has been very truthful to you, but there's one thing she lied about from the start.

'The first night we ever met…' You say slowly, stepping forward casually until your faces are inches apart. You think Santana would let her arms fall so she could step backwards but she doesn't, so stubborn. You watch her eyes flicker down to your lips for a second and you smirk. Too easy. '…and you said _sorry Sunshine, I'm not into chicks._'

The biggest lie she's ever told you or herself. No one can kiss you like she kissed you last night and blame it on the alcohol, Artie never even kissed you with that much passion and intensity and he was your boyfriend. You wonder if she would kiss you again?

You lean forward ever so slightly until your forehead is resting against hers and almost instantly her arms fall from the wall and she's pulling away. You let out a soft sigh and close your eyes. Obviously she's not ready yet.

'I-I'm not.' You hear her say quietly and you shake your head to yourself. You shouldn't have done that. How could you expect her to kiss you with Puck sitting in the other room, and she had already been ignoring you all day because of last night, it was stupid to try and kiss her again. Damn it.

You lift your head gently and offer her an apologetic smile. You decide that it's probably best if you change the topic, you don't think she'll be admitting anything tonight. What were you talking about? Oh right, your '_date_' with Sam.

'I don't see how the people I go out with is any of your concern Santana.' You say quietly and watch her frown. 'I mean it's not like there's anything going on between us, right?'

Santana's eyes go wide for a second but then they soften, and you see something flicker across them but you can't quite make out what it was.

'Right.' She answers simply. You stare at her for a moment longer, wondering if she's going to add anything else to that statement. She looks like she wants to but there must be something stopping her.

'Lopez the movie's starting!' You hear Puck yell from the living room.

You watch Santana roll her eyes and you wonder why she even likes Puck. What do they even talk about when they're alone? You guess they probably don't do a hell of a lot of talking…

'Wanna watch a movie with us?' She asks hesitantly. You shake your head, you probably couldn't think of anything worse right now. Not only are you super tired and can't be bothered watching a movie, but the thought of having to also watch Santana cuddled up to Puck almost makes you feel sick inside.

'No I wouldn't want to interrupt.' You say. You hadn't really intended for it to come out so harshly but you can't really find the strength to care anyway. 'I'm tired, so I guess I'm just going to go to…' You point inside your room only to find the blanket on the floor. Oh, that's right, you don't have a bed. '…the floor.'

You look back to Santana and shrug your shoulders like it doesn't bother you, there's nowhere else you can sleep tonight anyway. You don't think Puck would be too keen on having you in Santana's bed also, or maybe he would actually, that thought makes you shudder.

'We can watch the movie in my room, that way you can have the couch?' Santana offers.

You just shrug your shoulders again. You're too tired for all of this.

'Do whatever you want Santana.'

XXXXXXXXXXX

You wake up the next morning to the sound of footsteps walking through your apartment. You squint your eyes and roll over to your side on the couch. Why is it so bright? How long were you asleep for? What time is it? You pat around your body for your phone but you don't find it on you. It must be later in the morning, usually you're up just as the sun is rising but now it feels like the middle of the day, you really must have been tired.

'Esto no se trata de vos y yo.' _(This isn't about you and me.)_

You scrunch your brow up in thought and sit yourself up on the couch. That sounded like Santana's voice. What language was that?

You hear those footsteps again but this time they're coming from down the hall. You crouch a little on the couch until only your eyes and the top of your head are peaking over. You don't know why you're hiding from her but you feel as though if she saw you right now she would stop doing whatever it is that she's doing and concentrate on you instead. You watch as she comes down the hall with a phone to her ear, walking impatiently fast in a pair of jean shorts and a dark grey singlet, her hair tied back into a nice ponytail. You can't stop your eyes from travelling down to her legs for a moment. You remember how just the other night you were running your hands up those same smooth legs. God.

Santana moves into the kitchen and you crane your neck to see over the counter. She starts pacing around the kitchen now, a permanent frown etched on her forehead.

'Puedes…Puedes hacer estop or mi?' _(Can you just…Can you just do this for me?)_

You can't really be sure, but she sounds frustrated with whoever she's talking too. Curiosity eventually gets the better of you and you find yourself getting up from the couch and walking slowly towards the kitchen. She's facing the stove, one hand holding the phone to her ear and the other leaning against the bench top, so you approach quietly and take a seat on one of the stools.

She looks so tense and it's just making you want to know who she's talking to even more. Why does she talk different to this person? And why does she act so weird? You don't think you've ever seen her so stressed that she's been pacing around the apartment. The night she met you she had no shirt on and had no idea why you were in her apartment, and that was just like a walk in the park for her, she didn't even care.

'Gracias, chau mama.'_(thankyou, bye mom)_

You hear her sigh and then she's bringing the phone back to her body before chucking it onto the bench. The sound makes you jump a little but Santana doesn't notice. You watch as she grips the bench with both hands, you can see her back muscles moving in and out with every heave of her chest. This person really worked her up?

You frown. You kind of want to call that person back and ask them why they were being so mean to Santana, but if they could make Santana turn into a mess, than imagine what they could do to you…

After a moment you decide you need to break the silence before Santana turns around and has a heart attack from seeing you perched by the counter.

'I didn't know you spoke a different language?' You say quietly. Santana spins around in shock. She stares at you for a moment, probably wondering how long you've been standing there for, you're not going to tell her you've been listening for a while.

'I'm Latina.' She shrugs, and you nod your head thoughtfully. That makes sense. 'And there's a lot you don't know about me.'

You find yourself frowning at her words. You don't know if she's still tense from her talk on the phone or if she's genuinely mad at you for last night. Either way, you just want her to relax a little bit.

'There's a way of fixing that you know?' You say gently. 'You can talk to me, Ducky's a good listener but he can get tired, sometimes you need someone else too.'

'You didn't have anyone else.' Santana says defensively, turning around to pick up her phone.

'I had my parents.' You clarify. 'Ducky was only for when they weren't around.'

'Well, speak of the devils.' Santana says, shaking her phone in the air before stuffing it into the front pocket of her shorts.

'That was your parents?' You ask. You didn't think she spoke to them.

'My mother.' Santana sighs.

'I thought you didn't talk with her?'

'I don't.' She says. You tilt your head in confusion. Then why was she just on the phone to her? 'I just, you really needed to sort out what's happening with your family home and stuff like that. I figured you were never actually going to call her, so I did it.'

You feel a small smile start to grace your lips. You still have the card Santana gave you somewhere in your room and yes you were intending to call her mother, but in all honesty you were too nervous to actually do it. If Santana couldn't talk with her than what hope did you have?

But she called her anyway even though she didn't want to. She kind of has a habit of doing things she doesn't want to just for you. You feel a little special for that.

'You didn't have to do that.' You say gently, expressing with your eyes how grateful you are. 'But thank you.'

'Yeah.' She says shyly, shuffling her feet awkwardly. 'Well I think I've convinced her to take a look at your situation so, hopefully it won't be too long until you find out what's happening.'

You nod your head again in thanks. You wonder when it got like this. Awkward conversations with each other, you want to go back to cuddling in Santana's bed and talking about things you're sure she wouldn't talk about with anyone else. You're pretty sure she doesn't go around quoting Dr Suess with her other friends. You want her to feel safe with you again.

'Anyway I'm heading to Sebastians.' She says after a moment, moving around the counter and leaving the kitchen. You can't help but stop her.

'Santana?' You ask quickly before she can get too far. You're glad she actually stops and looks over her shoulder at you. 'Are you alright?'

'Yep.' She says simply but she still seems tense and you don't know if it's because of you of because of her phone call with her mother, either way it's kind of your fault and you don't like that feeling. 'Catch ya later.'

You frown at her retreating form. Something's wrong.

'Bye..' you whisper as she shuts the apartment door.

XXXXXXXXXXX

You can't stop the huge smile on your face as you put away your _Little Miss Sunshine_ outfit for the second night in a row. Tonight was even better than last night. The crowd was friendlier, the music was louder, and the energy was higher. Not only were you included in the opening act again but you even got to be a part of the group act with Sugar and the other girls doing Lady Marmalade, definitely the highlight of your night. Beiste congratulated you after the performance and said you had real potential, that was another highlight.

Now you're freshly showered and changed, ready to go home and collapse onto the couch. You weren't too happy about sleeping on the couch last night but it wasn't too bad, especially since you didn't hear any unpleasant noises from the room down the hall. Usually when Puck sleeps over you have to reach over for your ipod but last night there was barely a whisper through the house. Every now and then you could hear Santana's tv going but other than that…just silence. It was weird, but you're kind of hoping tonight will be the same.

Sugar left a few minutes ago, apparently she has a date with that guy Rory tonight. She was nervous the whole night and it wasn't until after she left in jitters that you realised she wasn't nervous about the dancing. You've got someone in your life who makes you nervous too, she just doesn't know it yet.

Speaking of Santana, you should really ask her for a lift home before she leaves. After you put your heels away in your dressing room closet Beiste assigned to you, you grab your lucky cardigan, slipping it over your shoulders, and head back out to the main area to see if Santana is still at the bar.

You smile when you see her standing behind the bar, slowly grabbing the countless empty glasses on the bar bench top and placing them into the glass washer under the bar. This time when you approach she notices your presence and lifts her head. You offer her a small smile and she gives you a small one back.

Once again you've hardly heard from her today, other than your talk this morning. You don't really know what's going on between the two of you but you wish it would just go back to normal. You want all this awkwardness to go away.

'Hey, will you be home tonight?' You ask quietly. You don't know why but you don't really want anyone else hearing your conversation. It's not like anyone is around but just to be sure.

'Is that any of your concern?' Santana answers coldly. You know she's quoting your words from last night, you're surprised she actually remembered that seeing as she was drinking, maybe she didn't drink too much.

You were hoping she would be in a better mood from this morning but obviously not.

'I was just seeing if I could get a ride home but whatever, I'll go with someone else.' You answer her with a sigh. If she's going to be difficult then there's no point in fighting with her. You go to turn away but she stops you.

'I'm almost done.' She says quickly. You swivel back around and watch as she places the last couple of glasses in the washer. 'Give me a minute okay?'

You purse your lips but nod your head and take a seat on one of the bar stools. Santana smiles gently as she watches you sit and you can't help the smile tugging at your lips too.

'Little Miss Sunshine!' You twist your body around at the call of your name, your eyes instantly falling on that auburn haired girl bouncing towards you with a smile reaching from ear to ear. It makes you smile even harder. 'Rumour has it Beiste is looking to put in another solo act, after tonight I think you've got a pretty good chance of it being you.' April beams as she takes a seat next to you.

You chuckle at her compliment, your eyes immediately finding the floor as you feel your cheeks flush. She's always complimenting you.

'I don't know about that, the other girls are so good.' You say quietly, mostly to yourself.

'Are you kidding me?' She says loudly. The volume makes you look up and see that she is still smiling at you. 'You lit up the stage!'

You feel your face heat up even more at her words. How is she so nice to you? You think she's probably the nicest person you've met in New York. Santana's nice too but in a different way. Santana is subtle, you have to dig and look into the little actions she does to figure out her feelings and her compliments, whereas April just yells them into your face quite clearly, giving you no choice but to listen. You don't really know which method you prefer.

Speaking of Santana. Your eyes briefly flutter back in the direction of your housemate. Her eyes are trained firmly on the drink she's making. You know she can still hear your conversation though, she can't turn off her ears. That would be cool though…

'Well anyway, I wanted to give you my number in case you wanted some extra practice?' April says excitedly. She hands you a small piece of paper and you take it gladly. 'I could help you work on the routines, get you to impress Beiste?'

You smile at her genuine kindness and slip the piece of paper into your pocket. 'I'd love that, thanks April.'

'No problem.' She winks. She leans forward and pecks a light kiss on your cheek before jumping off her stool. 'See you tomorrow gorgeous.'

'Bye.' You say to her retreating form. Whenever someone winks at you it always makes you a little flustered, Santana's are the worst, or best depending on which way you look at it.

'She was flirting with you.'

You spin back around on your stool until you're facing Santana again. Her eyes are still following the direction April had left in with what you can only describe as a scowl. You've seen that look before, and it happened to have been when you were dancing with April for the first time in Jacks. Santana is jealous.

'I know.' You say knowingly and shrug your shoulders. 'I like her.'

You look back to Santana and find exactly what you expected. Shock mixed with anger.

'Why?' Santana shoots off quickly. 'She's ugly.'

You watch as she puts the drink she had been making in front of you on the bar. You smile when you see the familiar red and yellow coloured drink. She made you a vodka sunrise. You lift your eyes back to her, silently requesting if it's yours and she just rolls her eyes playfully and nods her head. You bite down on your bottom lip, trying not to let your smile show as you take a quick sip, remembering that you still have to answer her question.

'Well for one, she doesn't smoke or do drugs.' You state sneakily. You know what you're doing, and Santana must know too, but you want to see if you can tempt her into telling you what she's trying so hard not to let out. You know it's there, it has to be, she just needs to let you in. 'And two…she actually likes me, why not give it a shot?'

That gets Santana's attention. You casually spin on your stool from side to side and sip at your drink as Santana stares open mouthed at you, her brow knitted in confusion.

'Wait you're going out with her?' She asks breathlessly like she can't believe what she's hearing. You nod your head indifferently. 'She's a girl?'

You smile and nod your head once more. 'Yep, and so am i.'

Santana seems to forget entirely about her cleaning up duties and instead rests her hands against the bar, staring straight into your eyes with a look of disbelief.

'Are you gay?' She asks flatly.

You don't really like that. _Are you gay?_ Your parents never believed in stereotypes of judging people by their beliefs or looks before getting to know what's inside. Santana even said herself that she didn't like labels, so why is she asking you to label yourself right now? And why does it have to be such a shock? Why does it have to be such a definitive answer? Can't you just say you are you, and whoever you are, are you?

'Maybe.' You shrug casually. You don't need to label yourself for Santana. As far as you know there have only ever been two girls you've ever been attracted to. One is looking you in the eyes and the other just left the building. At least, you think you're attracted to April, she is pretty, but there's just something different about Santana, something more intriguing you guess. If only she felt the same way about you. 'Maybe not, there's only one way to find out Santana.'

Santana keeps staring at you. You actually find yourself wondering if she's still breathing or not before she starts to speak.

'Britt that's crazy.' She says slowly. You sigh at her and shake your head. She still doesn't get it.

'No, crazy would be living my whole life ignoring the chance to find true love.' You explain tiredly. Your eyes lock with Santana's and you tilt your head to the side in question. 'Wouldn't you agree Santana?'

You watch as her face screws up and she pushes herself gently off the bar with her hands.

'What's that supposed to mean?' She asks daringly.

'You know exactly what I'm talking about.' You counter.

'No actually I don't.' Santana raises her eyebrows like she's challenging you. This is probably one of the only times you've really stood up to Santana and dished back some of the stuff that she's been throwing your way since you moved in, and it feels good to voice your opinion. It's kind of funny how Santana was the one responsible for giving you this confidence and now you're using it to fight against her, to challenge her.

'All I know is that you've just decided to throw yourself around like a little rag doll for anyone to grab, with no concern whether they're a girl or a boy.' She says angrily and you feel your own anger build. How dare she. Just because you had been out with Sam and April doesn't mean that you are throwing yourself around! All you got from either of them was a kiss on the cheek, much less to what Santana had achieved. She has no right to say such things.

'You just can't handle the fact that I can be honest with myself, that I can actually follow my heart instead of closing it off to the world, so that no one would ever dare love me.' You fight back, knowing the weight of your words.

You can feel the tension in the air as the bar falls silent. Santana's deep brown eyes are locked on yours. You see emotion swimming through them, trying to break free, but she's just not letting it happen. You wonder what she's so damn afraid of. It's just love, everyone needs it.

'Well, I don't need love.' She says simply, her eyes falling for the first time as she walks silently over to the till. She punches in some numbers until the till opens in front of her and you watch her begin to count the money again. You sigh, knowing this conversation is coming to a close. You take one last sip of your drink and place the half empty glass back on the bar.

'Well I do.' You say quietly. You don't know why she has to fight love so much, it's the most beautiful and natural thing in the world, everyone should feel it and give it. No one should have to live without love. But if Santana's going to be so insistent that she live without it, then you don't see why you should spend all your energy loving someone who doesn't want to love you back.

'And if no one else can give it to me… then maybe April can.' You say even quieter. You glance back to Santana to see her reaction but she's not looking at you. She's staring down at the money in her hands but you know she's not actually counting it because last night her mouth moved as she counted, but now she's just sifting through the money with pursed lips.

'Fine.' She breathes eventually. Your heart sinks at the thought of her giving up so easily. You wonder if she'll ever have enough strength to love you, or if she even wants to.

'Fine.' You echo back. Slowly you slip off of your stool, deciding that there is nothing more for you to say, and you turn towards the exit.

'She won't be able to make you scream like I did.' You hear muttered through a husky voice. Your thoughts instantly go back to the other night, Santana between your legs, her fingers running up your thighs, her lips on your collar bone.

You squeeze your eyes shut, forcing yourself not to turn around. That's not fair. She can't do that to you. She can't remind you of the greatest high you've ever had only to say that it will never mean anything to her. You know she must be smirking behind you and that just builds anger inside.

'Maybe she already has.' You say carelessly, not even realising your false words before they have left your mouth. You did it to make her feel a little of what she makes you feel, but if she doesn't care as much as she says, then it might have fallen on deaf ears anyway. You're grateful that you're not facing her, you don't want to know what she looks like right now. You just need to get out of here, and away from Santana. 'Don't worry about that lift I'll find my own way home.'

_**Thoughts?**_

xx


	16. Chapter 16

_**So I had a bit of a love overload after the last chapter. Seriously you guys blew me away! Love you all! Xx**_

_**Everyone seemed pretty happy that britt decided to grow some balls so I'm going to try not to soften her too much just yet:)**_

_**Roxification: maybe not next chapter soon, but soon!:)**_

_**Brittana-Forever-LOVE: I agree with you 100%, thanks for reviewing!**_

_**Ammo: aww well your reviews make my day better!**_

_**WW: such an amazing compliment:)**_

_**iOnlyWatchTheStars: Why thankyou:)xx**_

_**Court: Thanks Hon!**_

_**Giadanice: "treat me with indifference if you want to hurt me" absolutely love it:) glad you liked the chapter!**_

_**Just EMA: I'm going to be mean again this chapter…sorry in advance haha**_

_**The3rdhorseman: haha Iove that you take a break every time I update!**_

_**Slbsp-33: she does have a lot she's dealing with and that will be coming out very soon!**_

_**RedNoseReeindder: ooh I've already planned their next kiss, I wonder which idea it will be?**_

_**Ichigoxrukia01: you my friend, are lovely. Thank you so much for your amazingly nice reviews:)**_

_**Journey2somewhere: I agree completely that the relationship wouldn't work if one was a push over and the over called all the shots, we will be seeing britt challenge Santana more than usual to get her way:)**_

_**Burkett amber: happy birthday for whenever it is! Haha**_

_**Grace: I love you!**_

_**noobNoMo: always happy to please a critic! Thank you:)**_

_**simplyfarahh: well I feel honoured that you chose to review, thank you:)**_

Over the next week you begin to appreciate April more and more. Not only has she been your ride home almost every night from _Beauty and the Beiste,_ but she's turned into your own personal support group. Whenever you're feeling like this is all too big for you, or that you don't feel confident enough in your dancing, she's the first person to tell you how amazing you are, and it doesn't feel so daunting after that. You still haven't gotten past flirty comments and kisses on the cheek with April, mostly because you're still not quite sure how far you want to go with her. You're attracted to her, you know that much, and sometimes when she touches your arm you get little tingles on your skin, but do you want a relationship with her? It's starting to feel like you might.

You've barely seen Santana since your little argument. Sometimes you catch her watching you up on stage as she pours drinks, but that never lasts for long and then she's looking away. When you leave she doesn't lift her head anymore, and you don't say anything, you just walk out the exit with April by your side. You usually stay in your room until you hear Puck and Santana come home, and once you hear her bedroom door close you emerge with your blanket and get yourself set up on the couch.

One thing you've noticed from your nights spent on the couch is that maybe your relationship status isn't the only one in this apartment that's wavering. Some nights you hear arguments from down the hall, more often than not it's Puck raising his voice. You wonder what they keep fighting about, but judging by the lack of moans and groans each night, it might have to do with a little frustration, you're just not sure which one is more frustrated.

You never really intended on giving Santana the silent treatment either, after your conversation at the bar you've both just been keeping your distance. You're not completely sure who started the whole silent treatment thing in the first place but you know you sure as hell won't be the first one to break it.

However, since you barely talk, you've gotten pretty good at picking up other things about Santana that you wouldn't normally notice. Well, you don't know if it was always there or if they are recent developments, but they leave you wondering.

Like Friday, for example, she came out of her room at about lunch time wearing her usual outfit of shorts and a bra. Now on a normal day you would be concentrating all your energy on trying to listen to whatever morning slur was coming from her mouth while your eyes were busy taking mental photographs of all her exposed skin. But that day without her talking to you, you were able to concentrate on things that would otherwise pass you by. For instance, how she tripped a little on the tiles as she walked into the kitchen, after living in this apartment for so long you would think she'd remember that there's uneven floor there. Or how the bags under her eyes seemed deeper than the days before. How it took her until the third ring to realise someone was calling her phone, and by then it was too late to answer. She seemed slower, more sluggish, and she stank of alcohol, a smell that would come and go over the days to come.

You admit you've been worried about her. But this is Santana. This is the Santana that you met, and this is the Santana that she refuses to waver from. You've given her countless chances to open up to you, to let you help her, but each time she's turned the other cheek. She doesn't want to change, and she doesn't want love. So why should you be responsible for making her feel something that she is fighting against so hard. It's just not worth it. You've never thought of yourself as a selfish person before, in fact you despise those who are, but when someone drains you so emotionally every day there's only so much you can take before you have to start thinking of yourself. To be honest it wasn't hard to do to take a step back from Santana, and take a step forward into your future, especially with April in your ear telling you how talented you are all the time.

You took April up on her offer to help you learn some of the routines. On Saturday morning you invited her over to your apartment to practice. It wasn't the ideal amount of space to practice and respectably any other place probably would have been better. But perhaps it was the thought that Santana was still in her room after having a big night with her buddies the night before, and you wanted a way of reminding her that without her you do still have friends, maybe even more than friends if things kept moving forward.

Now you're sitting on the simple gold specked chair April brought from the props, and listening to her give you directions on how to move your body as she paces around your living room. It's kind of sexy her ordering you around like this, showing you how to bend and dip around the chair. She also brought her own speakers so the _Cell Block Tango_ could be playing through the apartment to help you keep the beat. You neglected to tell her Santana was still trying to sleep in her room. Oh well, if she wanted to sleep this late into the morning then that's her own fault.

It doesn't take long until you hear the slam of Santana's bedroom door. You smirk to yourself as you hear the familiar footsteps clump down the hall.

'Britt, can you please turn the music down?!'

You swivel around on your chair just in time to see a sleepy Santana's eyes go wide as they land on the other person in the room. You're not overly shocked to find her with her hair all over the place, wearing a pair of sweats and a bra. What does shock you is how you get a sudden urge to cover her up, especially with April being able to see what usually only you get to see.

'Didn't know _please_ was in your vocabulary Santana.' April smirks, looking Santana up and down. You feel your gut clench and you don't know whether it's because April is looking at another girl like that or because another girl is looking at Santana like that. 'Nice outfit.'

Santana's face scrunches up into a frown as she crosses her arms over her chest. 'Shouldn't you be on the corner Slutface?'

April chuckles dryly and rolls her head back in your direction. You feel like you're watching a game of tennis with your eyes darting from one side of the room to the other.

'Is she always this grumpy when she wakes up?' April asks. You bite your lips gently but don't answer. The only answer in your head was no, she's not always grumpy, especially when she wakes up holding you. 'Brittany asked me to help her with some of the routines, so here we are. I'm just teaching her _Cell Block Tango_ now.' April explains casually. 'Actually while you're here you can help us decide something. Which is hotter, the dip and drag, or the split and pull?'

April gestures for you to sit properly on the chair and you feel your heart beat speed up. She wants you to do this in front of Santana?

'Britt, show her.'

You take a quick glance back to Santana to find her looking about as awkward as you feel right now. This is about the most she's seen of you all week and now she's about to watch you practically give a lap dance to a chair? You wonder if it will remind her of anything…

Positioning yourself on the side of the chair so that both your legs are to one side, you grasp the back with one hand and slowly let your back curl towards the floor, before slowly coming back up.

'Dip aaand dragg.' April instructs slowly. All you can think about is how you were performing this act not so long ago with Santana's fingers trailing up your spine for support. You chance a quick glance at her and find her breathing that little bit faster than before. 'Or the split aaand pull?'

You spin around until you are straddling the back of the chair. You spread your legs quickly, arching your back, before slowly bringing your knees back towards the centre. Santana's eyes go wide at the action and you smirk.

'Dip and drag.' Santana says quickly with a single nod. You're not sure if she said it because it reminds her of the other night or if she just doesn't want you to do the split and pull on stage, either way you're happy with her choice.

'Okay awesome we'll work that one in.' April claps excitedly. You spin back around and smile widely at her. She always gets so excited about your dancing.

When you sense Santana's presence still in the room you look back to her over your shoulder and smile at the dumbfounded look on her face.

'Are you okay Santana?' You ask sweetly. Santana's eyes snap back at the sound of her name and she uncrosses her arms from her chest.

'I'm going back to bed, keep the music down or I will be going all Lima Heights on your asses.' She warns, spinning around and marching back to her room.

'She's so dramatic.' April laughs as she leaves. 'Okay from the top!'

XXXXXXXXX

'Someone put money into my account…'

You're staring aimlessly at the ATM in front of you with confusion. April's standing behind you, waiting for you to get some money out so she can take you to lunch.

'Well it is payday.' She says. Pay day? No that can't be right, there's too much money.

'There's over four hundred dollars in here.' You state in a whisper. You don't want other people to know how loaded you are right now.

'Welcome to _Beauty and the Beiste _Gorgeous.' April chuckles. 'Just wait until you start doing solo acts _Little Miss Sunshine_. The bar runs off it's entertainment, so if you're good, then you get paid good.' She steps up to your ear and whispers into it. 'And believe me Honey, you're good. '

You can't help the smile that spreads across your face as you take out a fifty from the machine. Your own money. You've never even had a real job before where they paid you straight into your account. Your mom used to put money in there every now and then so you could use it if you needed but it was never really _your_ money, now it is.

Instantly you're flooded with possibilities. You could save up and buy a bed, you could buy your own food again, get paint to paint over the chipped walls, buy furniture for your room, new clothes, maybe a bike to ride to work on, and you could finally get Santana a light bulb for her room.

'Back from la la land yet Brittany?'

You snap your attention back to the present and hear April giggling at you.

'Oh.' You say embarrassingly, stepping aside to let an old man use the ATM. 'Sorry.'

April just laughs louder. She has a really nice laugh. 'Don't worry about it, you're so adorable I could never be mad at you.'

She winks at you before turning to walk towards the café you were going to have lunch at. Her words linger in your head, swirling around and making you smile. She said she could never be mad at you yet Santana is mad at you all the time. Maybe she just doesn't think you're adorable like April does.

You're not sure if it's the sudden realisation or the fact that you're still on a high after checking your bank balance, but you find yourself reaching out before she can get away and grabbing Aprils hand, pulling her back towards you.

'Wow.' She says breathlessly, obviously not expecting the action. You smile warmly at her, completely content with what you're about to say.

'Go on a date with me?'

April stares at you for a second, and then unexpectedly breaks into gentle giggles and shakes her head. You tilt your head to the side in question and she squeezes your hand.

'Finally.' She giggles.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

You're sitting on the couch Monday afternoon, cuddled up with your blanket and a bowl of popcorn watching _Moulin Rouge_ when Santana drags herself from her room and unexpectedly plonks herself down next to you. You're shocked at the sudden display of acknowledgment, but when you smell that familiar scent wafting off her and spot her red eyes you know exactly why she's behaving so casual.

'You smell like smoke.' You say disapprovingly, shuffling slightly across the couch to create some distance.

'And you smell like popcorn, give me, I'm hungry.' Santana says, reaching over for the bowl which you begrudgingly give her. She digs in and you can't help but smile as she lifts a handful up to her mouth only to have the majority fall off her chin and land in her lap. 'This was my favourite movie when it came out.' She says with a mouth full of popcorn, pointing to the screen. You let your eyes travel back to the movie. The only reason you went and hired it was so you could learn the moves to _Diamonds are a Girls Best Friend_, but twenty minutes in you decided to just sit down and watch the movie, you loved it when you were younger. It surprises you that this kind of movie was one of Santana's favourites also. 'Does that surprise you?'

Your eyes drift back to Santana and you tilt your head in wonderment. Could she read your mind?

'Yes.' You answer honestly. Santana doesn't seem too shocked by your response.

'Why?' She asks. 'Because you can't imagine me liking something that doesn't have gore in it?'

'No.' You shake your head. You wouldn't believe that anyway, especially after how much she liked _The Little Mermaid_, even if she did try to hide it. 'Because this entire movie revolves around the concept of love, something you so clearly don't value in your own life.'

Santana frowns. 'Yeah but she dies in the end, the love is shattered, so it reflects the true consequences of letting yourself love someone.'

What? You turn your body towards her on the couch and watch in bewilderment as she keeps eating, seemingly unfazed by her observation of one of your favourite movies of all time.

'That's not the point of the movie at all.' You say passionately. You wait until Santana's head is facing you before you continue. 'My favourite line is that the greatest lesson you can ever learn is just to love, and to be loved in return. It's so true don't you think?'

Santana stares into your eyes for a moment. You feel like you haven't really looked into those deep brown eyes forever, you've spent so much time trying to avoid them lately.

'You want to know what I think?' Santana eventually questions. You nod your head. Of course you want to know what she thinks. 'I think that Ewan McGregor looks terrible with dark hair.'

Santana smirks to herself and pops another piece of popcorn into her mouth. You roll your eyes playfully with a smile and slap her hand out of the way so you can have some popcorn too.

'Was that a smile?' Santana gasps in fake shock. 'Fuck, didn't think I'd see one of those again.'

'Well if you weren't so difficult all the time then maybe I would be smiling more.' You counter, grabbing another handful from the bowl in Santana's lap. You can't help but think about how this is the most time you've spent talking to each other all week, it's kind of nice having her around again.

'So, hows April?' She asks.

And there goes that nice feeling.

'Fine.' You reply simply, pretending to concentrate back on the movie. You don't really want to start this conversation again.

'Just fine?' Santana probes. 'Don't tell me the honeymoon is already over?'

You snap your eyes back to hers to find her smirking. Really?

'It's far from over actually.' You tease. To be honest it's far from started but she doesn't need to know that. 'I invited her over tomorrow night, you know, for a movie night. Unless you have a problem with that?'

'No, why would i?' Santana scoffs weakly, choosing to train her eyes back on the tv. 'Don't get too handsy though, remember you only have a couch to sleep on _Satine_.'

You huff and steal another handful of popcorn. Really you just wanted to buy some time so you could think of a suitable comeback.

'You can accomplish a lot on a couch.' You settle for. Judging by the look of shock on Santana's face, you did pretty good.

'Well, I bet _Slut-a-ssaurus_ has plenty of experience on couches, or anything stationary for that matter so I'm sure you two will have fun.'

'I'm sure we will.'

A tense silence takes over the apartment. The song_ Roxanne_ being the only noise emitting through the small room. You don't want it to be like this. You want these awkward conversations to stop, and you were almost there, before she decided to bring up April again.

'I'm going to Sebastians.' Santana announces suddenly. She hands you the bowl of popcorn, dusting the strays off her lap as she stands up from the couch. You frown at the thought of her driving after she has so clearly just smoked something she shouldn't have.

'Are you sure you're alright to drive?' You ask worriedly.

'Yes motherrrr.' Santana sighs as she straightens out her outfit. You don't want her to treat this so lightly though. You worry about her.

'Santana.' You say gently and she lifts her head to look at you. 'Text me when you get there.'

You're expecting her to roll her eyes at you and say some smartass comment but she doesn't.

'I will.' She says instead. You smile in thanks.

Before she leaves she glances back to the tv and points carelessly to the screen. 'You know this movie never shows how he'll spend the rest of his life writing meaningless dribbles of words in that little room, thinking about how he'll be alone until death, probably wishing he was dead, all because he decided to fall in love with this girl for like a week or a month or some shit.' She explains with dry laughter. 'They only ever show the good bits.'

You consider her words for a moment, but eventually decide against them.

'Maybe he will be alone until death. But if your life was a movie, wouldn't you want there to be a good bit that made the audience want to re-watch your life for years to come, even if the rest of your life was filled with heartache?'

You lift your eyes to meet with Santana's. You hope she knows you're hardly talking about the movie anymore, judging by the sad eyes staring back you think she might.

'That kind of love, that gut-wrenching _i-would-die-for-you _kind of love only exists in movies anyway.' She argues.

'It does exist.' You disagree strongly. You saw it with your parents. 'But only those brave enough to let it take over them completely get to experience it. The rest are just too scared.'

Again that silence fills the room as you stare into each other's eyes, wishing that she will just let that last wall fall to the ground already so you can let her see exactly what real love can do.

'I'll see you tomorrow night.' Santana says tiredly, turning her back on you.

'You won't be home tonight?'

How are you supposed to get to sleep?

'I'm staying at Pucks.'

XXXXXXXXXXXX

It would be fair to say you didn't sleep very well last night without Santana in the apartment. There was a moment at about one in the morning when you considered just calling up April and seeing if she wanted to come around but you didn't want her to get the wrong impression, you kind of just wanted someone else around but calling her in the middle of the night to come over might not be the best message to send. Instead you spent until the early mornings practicing your dances and snuggling up on the couch to watch _Harry Potter _in your hoodie Santana gave you. It still smells like her, but watching those movies just wasn't the same without her beside you, raking her fingers gently through your hair like she did on your birthday.

You kept wondering where she was, what she was doing, who she was doing…

Eventually you just made yourself get up and start your day. You showered, ate breakfast, and spent most of the day trying to figure out what to do about your date with April. Where do you take her? What do you do? You don't want to be boring. You've hung out with her a lot over the past week but how are you supposed to make hanging out turn into a date? Is it in the setting or is it in your behaviour?

Argh, it's all too hard.

Well, she's already coming over to watch movies so you decide that you'll just order take out and maybe like clean the apartment or something, maybe light some candles? Ugh, you're so bad at this. You considered cooking for her but Santana's really the only one that cooks anymore, after you discovered her skills in the kitchen she's slowly been cooking more and more and leaving you dishes in the fridge, well you hope they were for you anyway. Oops. And you certainly don't want to have to go down to the supermarket and risk running into Sam. No, take out it is!

When April arrives your breath nearly catches at the sight of her short tight green dress. You've seen her in little clothing at the bar but it's different when you're all alone in your apartment and she's looking all kinds of sexy. April smirks as she holds out a bottle of wine to you and leans in to plant a kiss to your cheek.

'You look hot too Brittany.' April giggles into your ear before pulling away. You blush and look down at the navy blue dress you bought yesterday to make sure it was all still sitting right. Perfect.

'Uh, come in.' You say nervously. God why are you so nervous? You've been hanging out with this girl all week!

'What?' April asks with a playful smirk. You frown in confusion.

'Come in?' you say again. This time she giggles and nods her head.

'Oh right, thought you said coming, and it's a bit early for that just yet Britt.' April winks as she walks past you and into the livingroom. Shit. Tonight's going to be a longgg night.

And it is a long night. Every time she gets the chance April flirts with you, sometimes making you all hot in just the way she says a word, it reminds you of the first night you met her and she was grinding up against you in that club. God you need to learn to control yourself. You're still not sure how far you want to go with her tonight. You definitely won't be declining any kisses but anything more might be a bit soon…then again it wasn't too soon for you and Santana so who knows what could happen.

'Your hands are really soft.' April comments and you lower your eyes from the tv to look at her fingers running over the palm of your hand. April had insisted that you show her why you liked Disney movies so much so you slipped in _Aladin_ to watch, but she's spent more time playing with your hands and touching your leg than she has been paying attention to the movie. Not that you can really complain, but you do really like _Aladin_.

'Thanks.' You reply sweetly. She raises her head from your shoulder where it's been resting for the last thirty minutes and she uses one of her hands to tilt your chin towards her. You take a deep breath in as realisation dawns over you. She's about to kiss you.

You lean in slowly, preparing yourself for what's about to happen, and just when your lips touch, the apartment door swings open.

April jumps away from you in fright, but you're a little more used to Santana's dramatic entries and exists so it doesn't startle you as much. What does startle you is the look on Santana's face. You're first thought is that she must have seen you kissing April but as you continue to watch her fuss around with the bottle of scotch in her hand and her handbag in the other, you don't think she even realises you're in the apartment let alone right in front of her.

Her eyes are wide but she's not looking at anything in particular, and her hands shake uncontrollably as she tries to shut the door behind her. Something's really wrong, you can feel it.

'Uh…Maybe I should go?' April states nervously from beside you on the couch. You don't really look at her because you don't want to take your eyes off Santana for a moment, but you nod your head. April kisses you on the cheek but you don't actually feel it until she's halfway to the door and brushing past Santana. She gives you one last worried look before she exists the apartment.

As soon as she's gone you get up from the couch and hurry over to your housemate. She seems to have finally come to her senses a bit as she stares at the door with a frown, almost like she was trying to figure out who that was.

'Santana look at me!' You say urgently, grasping her shoulders only to have your hands quickly shrugged off. You stare in shock as Santana quickly staggers past you and down the hall, the scotch bottle banging against the wall as she makes her way to the bathroom. No, you can't let her lock herself in!

You chase after her and just as you reach the bathroom you hear the unmistakable sound of glass smashing across the floor.

'Santana!'

Xx

_**Uh oh.**_

_**Ok now I wanted to address something. I've gotten a few reviews mentioning that they really don't like the way I write, as in the person perspective, which is understandable because it took me a long time to warm up to it too. The only reason I did it for this fic is because every fic I've written I've changed the perspective, so I thought I'd give second person a go, and to be honest I had no idea this fic would get so much attention. So in saying that I'm kind of torn because I don't want to change the way I write halfway through and confuse people even more, but at the same time if lots of people are hating this then it might be better to change.**_

_**So I shall put it to a vote! change or stay the same?**_

_**Until next time lovelies:) xx**_


	17. Chapter 17

_**SHE'S ALIVE!**_

_**Sorryyy for the wait guys! I feel terrible:( and I do have an excuse but I doubt anyone cares about that right now so I'm not going to bother explaining, no one's probably even reading this bit haha. **_

_**Anyway I got some beautiful reviews and I wish I could go through them right now and write back to you all but unfortunately I've got a case of about-to-fall-asleep-at-the-computer and I want to update before I do!**_

_**Hope its worth the wait:)**_

'Santana!'

You throw yourself carelessly at the bathroom door, aiming to stop it before she has the chance to slam it in your face and lock herself away. That's probably what scares you the most, knowing that she's in so much pain but not being able to help her, not being able to just be near her and keep her safe.

Thankfully you catch the door just as it swings backwards and you push it back the other way. Somewhere in your mind you register that it's going to swing back again and hit you but you can't focus on that right now. You need to focus all your attention on Santana, something you've selfishly been depriving her of for the past week or so.

The first emotion you feel take over you when you enter the bathroom is clear and utter relief. She's okay. Well, not okay, but she's standing. A part of you was expecting to find her passed out on the floor again, groaning with each movement and soaked in alcohol. To be honest the situation in front of you isn't much different but she's awake, and she's standing, if only she would just tell you what the hell is going on!

Smack! There goes that door. You decide to just let your shoulder throb instead of tending to it now.

You take a hesitant step towards her, trying desperately to take in your surroundings while the rest of your brain is trying to put together the pieces of the puzzle. What happened?

Santana still doesn't seem interested in your presence at all. In fact she's standing in front of the bathroom sink, trying desperately to free something from the front pocket of her jeans, and all her concentration seems to be on finding some way to free the object. The look on her face in the mirror is one of pure determination, you've never seen her frown marks run so deep, or her eyes go so long without blinking. Once again, you find yourself thinking, what the hell happened to her?

You know she's acting like this because she's either drunk or high or both. But mom always taught you to look beyond the surface, there's always something deeper, something to be discovered. The ones that fight it the hardest are the ones that have the biggest fall. You didn't completely understand what she was talking about at the time, but now that Santana's standing in front of you and literally shaking with what you don't know, well you can't help but think this must be what falling looks like, and she's falling hard.

So what has caused her to fall? Your first instinct is to go for the easy answers. Her body has finally crashed after years of alcohol and drug abuse? Maybe she got fired from work for turning up high? Maybe she has just had a bad day? Maybe Puck can't come over? Maybe she had a fight with her parents? Or maybe…and this is the one that has been lurching in your stomach since the moment she staggered into the apartment…maybe all this reckless behaviour, throwing herself around like her body doesn't mean anything, and ignoring the rest of the world for fear of interference and acknowledgement… comes soley and completely down to you? What if you're the reason she's falling? What if you were the one to push her?

That thought alone makes your heart sink down into your chest until you can feel it pressing against your lungs, making it hard to breathe. God, did you do this to her?

'Argh!' Santana grunts loudly and the sound finally brings you back to the situation in front of you. She's managed to get what she wanted out of her pocket. You step forward curiously and frown when you see the familiar small plastic bag of white powder in her hands.

'What are you doing?' You ask in shock. She's not doing this. Surely, she's not doing this. You know that at times she does go to Sebastians or Pucks and you always think she probably does stuff like this but she's never actually done it in front of you. For some reason you thought she never would. That only brings it home further that this isn't an average day in the life of Santana Lopez. Something has happened…and you're going to find out what that is.

Santana doesn't answer your first question, no surprises there, so you prompt her again.

'How much of that have you had?' You ask demandingly and take a slight step forward, careful not to step on any broken shards of glass that are currently scattered across the bathroom floor. At least Santana has shoes on.

'None yet, I can't get the fucking bag open!' she grunts in frustration, her hands shaking uncontrollably as she tries to open the small bag with her fingers, failing miserably and getting more and more agitated with each attempt. She's not usually one to lie to you, that's why it hurts so much when she tells you that she hasn't had anything when clearly she's on something. You've been around her long enough to know when she's sober and when she's not, and right now? She's not. Maybe she just means she hasn't had any from that bag yet?

You shake your head at yourself. What does it matter?!

You reach forward over her shoulder and take a shot at grabbing the bag from her hands. She flinches away from you almost instantly.

'Stop!' You yell when she goes back to her task. She still hasn't even looked up at you yet. You've never seen her like this, so completely determined to do drugs that she doesn't even register that you're trying to talk to her.

You look around you helplessly, trying to find a way to approach this differently. Your eyes land on the broken scotch bottle on the floor and your mind flashes back to the many other times you've seen that familiar bottle. More often than not it only made an appearance on the nights Puck wasn't staying over.

'Where's Puck?' You ask without much thought. Given her state, it probably wasn't the best thought to start with. You figured that out about two seconds after the words left your mouth and Santana let out another grunt.

'He broke up with me for fucking _Asian Persuasion_, and now they've skipped town!' Santana yells into the small room. You jump a little at the volume of her voice. You don't think you've ever heard her with so much passion in her tone. It's exciting but terrifying all at the same time. You feel like you're seeing a different side to Santana, and usually a different side to her would excite you, but this particular side to her personality is bringing back the kind of nerves you felt on the first night you met, but times by about fifty.

Puck broke up with her for Tina? That's a bit of downgrade. Wait how can Puck even break up with Santana if they weren't even dating?

'But I thought you weren't in a relationship?' You say thoughtlessly, mentally slapping yourself as soon as the words were out. Why can't you just think before you speak?

'Just fuck off Brittany!' Santana yells, throwing the little bag of white powder at the mirror in a fit of frustration. The effect was kind of anti-climatic seeing as how light the bag was, but Santana's burst of aggression was enough to compensate the action. You've seen that aggression before when she slapped you, you didn't leave her then, and you're not leaving her now.

'No!' You yell back just as loud.

'I'm not leaving you like this!' You scream at Santana but she doesn't appear to be listening, or she just doesn't care. She's scuffling for the bag again and trying her best to break the plastic seal with her fingernails. This time you've had enough. She needs to stop this, you're not letting her do this to herself. You lunge forward and snatch the bag successfully from her shaking hands. She spins around with a look you've never seen before, it's not shock, it's almost like hatred, and it takes all your strength not to let it affect you. 'Santana, you're a mess!'

'All the more reason for you to get away from me!' She screams, pushing you hard into the bathroom door. You're so shocked by the action you don't even notice when she takes the drugs back from your limp hand. She turns back around to face the mirror and its then you can see the regret on her face. You know she didn't mean it, but you also know she's not going to take it back just yet.

You watch cautiously as she slumps her shoulders in defeat, her left hand still firmly clasping the little bag of white powder against the sink, while the other hand runs aimlessly through her hair that's been matted by sweat. You wait patiently as she squeezes her eyes shut and takes steady breaths in and out. You can see the muscles in her neck straining and you know how much this is paining her. You want so desperately to take a step forward and touch her but you can't, so reluctantly you have to settle for watching her from a distance as she struggles with a pain you've never experienced, a pain that you wouldn't know the first thing about fixing, and it's killing you.

'Move out and make something of yourself before I bring you down with me.' She mumbles on one of her exhales. It was so quiet you probably could have mistaken it for a breath, but your ears were already on high alert and her words didn't escape you.

Your heart clenches at the thought of her going through this all alone. You would never let her do that, no matter what she said or did to you, and you need her to know that.

'Santana I am not leaving you…ever.'

You want to walk forward but you stay where you are. You watch in the mirror as Santana's face screws up almost like she's in pain, before she slams her fist down onto the sink causing your breath to hitch for a second.

'Brittany you are so fucking stupid!' She yells. 'Just leave!'

You feel her words start to sting in your eyes almost immediately and you would have believed them too if her voice hadn't have cracked on 'leave'.

'You don't mean that.' You say gently. It was meant to be a statement but you're so shaken it came out more like a pleading question.

'Only an idiot would stay here.' Santana replies weakly. For the first time her eyes travel up the sink basin, and up the mirror until they are locking with yours. You can see the fight in her eyes, she's waging war with something inside of her, you're just not sure exactly what that is yet.

'Then I must be an idiot.' You say simply. She's not getting you to leave. She knows exactly what to say to make you hate her, and she's certainly not holding back in trying, but you're not going to let her cowardness win. She's better than this.

'You're not an idiot…' she squeezes her eyes shut again and shakes her head gently. 'And you're not stupid. Just please, go.'

'No.' you say almost immediately. Santana seems to squeeze her eyes shut even tighter, like she's willing you away, or willing something away.

'Brittany…' She warns.

'No Santana.' You step forward confidently until you're pressed up against her back. It was a brave move, and a minute ago you would have never thought of doing it, but now that she's calmer, you want to take the chance, you just need to be close to her again. You feel Santana's muscles tense against your body but you ignore it. 'You taught me to stand up for myself and that's what I'm doing. You can't make me leave.'

You feel Santana let out a sigh and you take this moment to lean forward and gently rest your forehead to the back of Santana's neck. You can feel her muscles move with each intake and exhale of breath. The smell of her perfume wafts through your nose and it calms you.

'What If I told you I don't want you here anymore?' She whispers quietly. You take a second to consider her words, without moving your head from it's position, and decide that there's no way they could be true. Of course they could be true, but you're going off your instinct.

'I wouldn't believe you.' You state calmly. Santana sighs again, a little louder this time. You want to put your arms around her and hold her in place but you don't want her to feel like she's being trapped, so you just let them dangle by your side, allowing her body to keep you upright.

'You don't deserve this Brittany.' Santana says quietly.

You lift your head slowly from her neck and move so you can meet her gaze in the mirror, she's already looking at you. You stare into those deep brown eyes for a moment, before shaking your head at her.

'No, you don't deserve this Santana.' You argue. 'You could be anything you want. You're breathtakingly beautiful, you're talented, you're smart and strong, and you can be so sweet when you want to be. You make me laugh and you make me feel safe.' You can't stop yourself now from lifting your hands to rest on her hips. 'You are so amazing Santana Lopez and even though I love that I get to see all this, the world needs to see you too. You could do whatever you wanted, sing on stage, become a Hollywood actress, run a store that sells vanilla and cinnamon.'

She quirked her eyebrow at the last one but you're not about to explain that to her just yet. You're just happy to start to see her frown marks disappear as your words sink in.

'Just don't do this.' You say quietly, glancing down to the broken glass. 'Don't drink yourself into the next day and get high off of things that I only ever saw in movies and tv shows, and it was always the bad guys doing it.' You watch Santana's eyes drift shamefully to the sink so you quickly give her hips a tight squeeze to get her to look up. 'But you're not a bad guy Santana, you're one of the good ones.' You reassure her. 'Stop being so afraid to dream.'

'I can't stop Brittany.' Santana sighs.

For a second you think she's talking about being afraid to dream and you want to argue how silly that is but then she's speaking again.

'I've been doing this since I was seventeen.' She scoffs and waves around the bag in her hand. 'It's too late for me.'

You frown and shake your head at her.

'It's never too late.' She can do this. You know she can. She's only young, she has her whole life ahead of her, why should she be dragged down by a few years of being on the wrong path? 'And you can stop because I'll be here to help you every step of the way.'

You want to meet her eyes in the mirror again but she's not looking at you. Instead her gaze is planted on that damn little bag again.

'I'm not going to stop.' She says firmly, her eyes still trained on her left hand. 'I don't want to.'

What?!

How the…what?! How can she do this?

You let go of her hips and push yourself off the sink and away from her body in a fit of frustration. How can she do this to herself? How can she do this to you?!

'Then stop being so selfish!' You yell. Her eyes flash back up to yours in the mirror and you see the shock on her face turn to anger. You're not going to take it back, you meant it.

'What did you just say?' She asks warningly as she spins around to face you. Your heart is beating so damn fast in your chest but you choose to ignore it.

'You heard me.' You say confidently, well you hope if sounded confident. 'Santana you are all I have here, or anywhere. I know for some crazy reason you don't think you're worth much but you mean absolutely everything to me. A-and I can't survive without you, I don't know what I would do.'

You can see Santana's anger slowly dissipate but she's still tense, you can see it, and it's scaring you.

'So, i'm begging you…Please, let me help you.' You plead quietly. 'I need you Santana.'

At those last words Santana closes her eyes. Not as tight as they were before though, more of a helpless action, and you want to know what she's thinking. Is she going to let you help her?

You watch as she staggers back a step until her back is leaning against the sink. She looks so broken…and so tired. You just want to hold her.

'They've got Sebastian.' She says gently. It was spoken so softly she could have been talking about the weather or something. 'The cops arrested him last night. I don't know how long they were watching his house for, but they could find me, and if they do, you can't be here britt. I need you to leave.'

Sebastian's been arrested?

Your mind goes blank.

This thing is so much bigger than you ever thought. Santana doing drugs was always something you didn't approve of but she was always so casual about it, so sure of herself and confident. Now she's shaking against the sink and telling you that there's a chance she could be caught by the police…

And you're living with her. She's a criminal?

What will happen if they find you here with her?

You shake your head of those thoughts. No.

'I'm not going anywhere.' You say firmly.

'Damn it Brittany!' Santana shouts, slamming her fists down onto the sink again. 'This is your life!'

'And this is yours too!' You shout back just as loud. Without even thinking you step forward and push her back into the sink. 'Fight for it!'

Santana's face lights up in shock and to be honest you're kind of shocked at yourself also, but you don't want to show it so you just stand tall, something Santana taught you.

'Why should i?!' She replies aggressively, stepping forward to push you back into the bathroom door with just as much force. The impact makes you wince in pain and you find your anger building. Why should she fight for her life?!

'Because I love you!' You scream.

Silence.

Well, not dead silence… you can still register the heavy breaths filling the room, you're not sure if they're your breaths or Santana's but someone is breathing really loud. In an odd moment of reality you hear the tv playing in the other room, you don't think about turning it off, and you don't think about the reason you were watching tv in the first place, you just acknowledge that it's on. It's like you can't concentrate on anything anymore, not when Santana's like this.

She's staring at you again. But this time all the hatred and anger has left her face, you wouldn't even say she's in shock…in fact she just looks sad.

Your mother always told you about how people have walls to hide what they don't want other people to see. They have them up and it's really hard to break them down and so on…but what she didn't tell you was what it looked like to see those walls fall.

Looking at Santana right now…you can't help but wonder if this is that moment. When you see the first tear slide down her cheek and her legs begin to shake you don't take another second to confirm what you know is true.

You step forward and wrap your arms around her waist just in time to catch her before her body begins to slide to the floor. Everything is happening so fast. You don't know what to think about first, Santana's state or the glass that you are slowly lowering onto?

In a bout of desperation you quickly swipe your foot along the floor to try and clear it of glass, wincing in pain when you feel something sharp cut into you, and slowly lower Santana to the floor.

You sit with your backs to the bathroom sink as Santana's gentle sobs fill the room. You kind of want to cry too, and you feel like you should, but this moment seems too important to even let your vision be blurred by tears.

'Santana, please talk to me.' You plead quietly, keeping your arms firmly wrapped around her body. She's not looking at you, she's just letting the tears roll down her face as she shakes in your arms. You don't know what else to do. 'You're scaring me.'

'I-I'm scared too Britt.' She whispers through one of her sobs. God, why didn't your mother prepare you for this? Why didn't she tell you what to do after their walls are broken? You don't think Santana broke her walls, you're pretty sure they've been shattered.

'You're safe.' You say warmly. It's really all you can come up with and you just hope its enough. 'I'm going to help you a-and everything's going to be okay.'

You glance around in hope to find some answers and for a split second your eyes catch a glance of red on your foot. You quickly look elsewhere.

'You don't deserve this.' Santana says in defeat. That takes your attention away from your foot. You frown at her words.

'Do I deserve happiness?' you ask.

'Yes.' She says. 'All the happiness this world has to offer.'

You feel your heart swell and you can't stop yourself from letting your lips touch her shaking shoulder. Her breath hitches the moment you make contact with her skin.

'Then I deserve you.' You say gently, letting your head rest on her shoulder. You can feel her body shaking and you wish there was something more you could do but it seems like there's nothing left you can do, the rest is up to her. Your hand searches for hers and when you find the one clasping the bag of cocaine you entwine your fingers until she lets it slip from her hand. You take it, and let it fall to the floor before joining your fingers again. 'Let me in. Please let me in.'

Santana breathes out a shaky breath and for a moment you think she's about to speak, but she doesn't. She's not ready yet… so you wait.

You're not quite sure how much time passes before she speaks. Enough time for your foot to stop stinging, for you to count all the tiles leading from the end of your foot to the bathroom door (seven), and enough time for Santana quiet sobs to subside. When she does begin to talk, you smile because it feels like you haven't heard her voice in years.

'W-when I was seventeen I went to boarding school, my parents wanted me to have the best education in the state, dad wanted me to be a doctor like him. I didn't want to go in the first place but I couldn't really argue with them, so I went.' She begins.

You're just sitting there, trying desperately not to miss one word she says because you know she'll never repeat it and yet all you can think is '_Oh my god this is it, this is it, this is it'_. God, just pay attention!

'The first day I met my roommate.' Santana laughs, one of those dry laughs that you know she only does when she's talking about a serious subject. 'Her name was Quinn, she uh…she was intriguing, I guess would be the best way to describe her. Blonde hair, clear white skin, green eyes…she was beautiful, and she was the most popular girl at the school.'

For some reason you feel your heart clench at her description of this girl. You don't like her already.

'I was lucky enough that she decided to take me under her wing, she taught me her ways. I learnt to manipulate people, teachers mostly, and eventually the entire student body. She was always so strong, so sure of herself, I wanted to be like that you know?' for the first time Santana lifts her head to meet your eyes and you nod for her to continue. 'She never took shit from anyone. It was fun for a while, living life on the top, I got to push people around and make them do whatever I wanted…'

'I loved being in control of everything, of everyone…well, apart from Quinn of course.' Santana glances to the floor, gazing at the bag of powder and you think she might pick it up but she doesn't, thankfully she just squeezes your hand tighter. 'She was the one who got me into drugs, told me how cool it was. My dad being a doctor and my mom being a lawyer I knew exactly the damage these kind of drugs could do, but uh, Quinn kept pressuring me and I really wanted to impress her, so I started doing them too.'

'I don't like Quinn.' You frown. What kind of friend would do that to her? You would never pressure Santana to do something so silly. Why would Santana want to impress someone like that?

'That's just the start.' Santana sighs. 'I guess, looking back it wasn't really her fault, I mean, I was the one who was stupid enough to fall in love with her.'

You both freeze at those words. You're not quite sure if she meant to say them but now it doesn't matter because they're out there, and you heard them, and she must know you heard them too because her cheeks are redder than you've ever seen them before.

'I've never said that out loud before.' She whispers.

To be honest you don't really know what to say. Do you tell her it's okay? Do you go into a speech about falling in love with girls? Do you even say anything? What would you tell her? You know as much about this stuff as she does, maybe even less.

'Keep going.' You say instead. It's all you can come up with but you think it's probably all she wanted to hear right now anyway. You give her hand a little squeeze and she nods her head weakly, still blushing from ear to ear.

'Well I uh, tried to hide it at first because I didn't know how she felt about me, but like we hung out all day and night…I dunno I just trusted her, she was the only one I could talk to because everyone else was scared of me by that stage. She was good too, she looked out for me.'

You have to bite your lip from saying '_that kind of sounds like us'_. The similarities are astonishing, but that only makes you hate Quinn more. Not because you're alike, but because there's a reason Santana doesn't talk to you about her past, and you think it might have to do with this Quinn girl. Maybe she's the reason Santana finds it hard to trust you?

'So one day we snuck back into our quarters after a night out, we were so wasted.' Santana laughs lightly and shakes her head. You can tell the action make her a little dizzy because she stopped for a second and held out her other hand on the floor to steady herself. '…and without even knowing what I was doing, I uh, kissed her…' you look up in surprise. You weren't really expecting that. Yep, you definitely don't like Quinn. Santana doesn't meet your gaze but you didn't expect her to, instead she's staring down at your entwined fingers as your thumb traces soothingly over hers. 'I still can't believe I was stupid enough to do that.'

'You're not stupid.' You say immediately.

Santana does this kind of half smile thing and it's not even a real smile but it's enough to send your heart soaring. You bite your lip, trying to hide your smile as she fiddles with your hand until her pinky is linked with yours. You don't think she even realises how significant that is to you. Your mom used to make pinky promises with you all the time, she'd say _"you can't break a pinky promise, once your fingers are twisted they can never be untwisted". _

'Forever twisted.' You whisper quietly into the cool silent bathroom as you stare at tan mixed with white skin.

'What?' Santana asks in confusion.

You shake your head gently and smile at her. 'Nothing.'

She looks at you skeptically, probably wondering why you're smiling about such a serious subject, but none the less she smiles back.

'Yeah, well the weird part was that she actually kissed me back.' Santana continues. Suddenly you're smile is gone as you're reminded about this Quinn girl, Santana kissing her, dreaming about her. Ugh why is this making you so upset?

You already know the answer to that. You admitted it moments ago.

You love her.

'We kissed for a while before we both kind of just passed out on our beds. Anyway the next day was when shit started to go down.' That peaks your interest again and you find yourself having to snap out of your little day dream. 'She was acting normal with me the whole day but she refused to talk about what had happened between us. But I figured that was normal, she was just scared and we'd talk about it more that night. What I didn't know is that I would be expelled before I got the chance.'

You can't really help the gasp that escaped from your mouth at the end of that sentence. You don't even know why you did it, you already knew she had been expelled from boarding school, maybe iit was because deep down you expected it to be from drinking at school or skipping class, not because she fell in love with her roommate…can they even expel a student for that? Well it is an all girls school so maybe it would be weird for the other girls to have –

'Rumour got round that I was sleeping with our history teacher, Mr. Shuester, which by the way is disgusting and I would never go there.' Santana explains, interrupting your thoughts. 'But word gets around fast with a school full of teenage girls and by the end of the day the principal had found out and I was expelled, and was fired. I think they were glad to finally get rid of me…'

You squeeze Santana's pinky until she looks up and you give her a 'you know that's not true' look. She gives you that little smile again, that damn smile that says I'm not really happy but you're making an effort so I'll make an effort too.

'It wasn't for a while until one of the girls told me it was Quinn who had been spreading it, and that just broke me.' She mumbles quietly.

You frown at the thought of Quinn doing this to her. You knew there was a reason you didn't like her! If Santana is broken now…you can't even imagine what she was like when she was a teenager and her whole world fell from beneath her feet in a day, without any warning. She must have been so scared. She would have had to go home to her parents and explain what happened. You pause and tilt your head to the side in thought. Wait, she doesn't speak with her parents now…Oh Santana.

'What did your parents say?' You ask tentatively, already anticipating the answer.

'Not a lot.' She mumbles. You feel her hand start shaking again and you don't know if its from the drugs or from the emotions but either way it doesn't matter, you just hold her hand tighter. 'They didn't believe me of course, especially since it was my word over a respected adult's word, didn't help that I wasn't ready to tell them why Quinn would do it. They kicked me out as soon as I was legal. Been living on my own since.'

They kicked her out?

Why – how could a parent do that? How could someone who is supposed to love you no matter what from birth to death and beyond just decide one day that they're going to stop trying, that you're on your own, that you're not wanted?

Your heart aches, literally aches. You haven't felt this much pain since that day a cop car pulled up outside of your dance studio. You felt like you were being stabbed in the chest then, and you don't feel much different now. She was so strong, and everything was taken away from her so fast. Did she even have anyone?

'Did you try talking to Quinn?' You ask as tears begin to sting your eyes. No! you're not crying! She needs you to be there for her right now!

'Tried.' Santana shrugs against you. You pull her closer and feel a little bit of that pain go away when she lets her head fall onto your shoulder. 'Didn't work, she didn't want to hear from me, she had turned the whole school against me by that time.'

That kind of sounds like you. The whole school was against you too, just for different reasons. Maybe Santana's not so different from you after all?

'So what about Puck?' You ask shyly. If Santana so clearly likes the company of girls then why is she spending so much time with Puck? Maybe she's like you and likes boys and girls? 'How does he fit in?'

'I met him when I first moved here.' She explains. 'One night I was just walking down the street and I walked into _Beauty and the Beiste _simply because I needed a strong fucking drink, he served me, we got talking and I told him I was looking for a job. At first it was just waitressing but eventually he trained me up to work behind the bar. He's the only other person who knows my story, well most of it anyway, he doesn't know about Quinn.'

You nod your head thoughtfully, letting that information sink in. Okay well that didn't really answer the question you had asked in your head.

'Why do you sleep with him?' You say more specifically. You hold your breath for a second in preparation for the glares and harsh words that would usually come your way at such a personal question, but surprisingly they never come, in fact she seems to take your question in so deeply that she just sits there and stares at the tiled floor for minutes before answering.

'Because I want to forget.' She eventually whispers. 'I want to forget about it all and…I don't know I guess I just wanted to fit in, I wanted people to be scared of me again, I wanted control over my life…and I didn't have that if I was scared myself. Everything was going well, I was making decent money, had my own apartment, did whatever the fuck I wanted…'

You think this is supposed to make her life sound perfect but you can't help but think that if she has to control every aspect of her life to have such a good life than is her life ever going to be good anyway? Wouldn't it be more fun to just be who you are and take the chaos of life as it comes, knowing that whatever is thrown your way you can deal with it because you already know exactly who you are? Mom always said that if you always tell the truth then you'll never need to remember anything. If Santana always told the truth then maybe her mind wouldn't be so cluttered?

'And then you walked in from God knows where…' You bring your attention back to Santana and freeze when you see she's actually looking at you, and she's smiling? Oh no what did you miss? '…all sunshine and smiles and you just fucked everything up.'

Wait, what?

You feel the colour drain from your face and you want to know why she's chuckling to herself when she just said that you've basically ruined her life. Does she not like you?

'What?' You ask shyly, not really wanting to hear the answer anyway. You can already feel those tears coming back.

'Nothing I just…' Santana shakes her head with a smile and stares into your glistening eyes. She must know what she's doing to you right? 'I fought so hard against you, you know that?'

What? You tilt your head to the side in question and it only makes Santana laugh more. It's kind of funny how five minutes ago she was shaking uncontrollably in your arms and now she's smiling at you like you just dropped from the sky with a basket full of chocolate chip muffins.

'But I had to have known from the start that I didn't stand a chance.' She shakes her head again but this time you see that smile begin to fade. You already miss it. Once again she glances down to that bag of powder which will forever be your enemy but you're confident this time that she won't pick it up. 'Now I'm that scared, out of control little girl again.'

'You don't have to be scared anymore, I'm here.' You say gently, tilting your head to press a soft kiss to her shoulder.

'You're too good for me.' Santana states sadly.

'Don't ever say that.' You say firmly. How could she say that about herself? Ever? You tug at her hand relentlessly until she finally turns her head to look at you. 'You deserve to be loved Santana.'

'What about you?' She whispers. 'I can't give you what you need Brittany, you said it yourself…I'm a mess.'

You're really regretting those words now. Why did you tell her she's a mess? That's the last thing she needed to hear! Ugh.

'The thing about a mess is that underneath all the clutter it can still be beautiful.' You say sweetly.

You were hoping for a smile, or maybe even a little blush, but you don't get any of that. Instead she lowers her eyes to the floor again and bites her lip. She's biting it so hard you think she might draw blood but you're in no position to tell her to stop right now, especially after you called her a mess.

'Can I ask you something?' She says gently. You nod your head but she didn't really look for your reply. 'If your parents were still alive, and you were walking down the street with them and you saw me, now you don't know me, but if you saw me would you stop and talk to me?'

'You told me not to talk to strangers.' You tease poorly.

Santana looks to you, and she gives you that damn half smile again and it makes your heart ache.

'Let me word this differently.' She says slowly. 'Would your parents let you stop and talk to me?'

You lift your head from her shoulder and let it fall back onto the cupboards below the sink, allowing her question to settle in your mind. Would your parents let you stop and talk to her? This girl who dresses in black, smokes inside, snorts cocaine, and curses like it's a language? At first glance, no.

'Um, probably not…but if they got to know you then –'

Santana cuts you off before you can finish, almost like she already knew what you were going to say.

'You deserve to be with someone who your parents would be proud for you to be with, I respect them enough to understand that.'

'They would have loved you Santana, just like I do.' You argue, trying to ignore the thumping your heart is doing at admitting your love once again.

'Yeah well…' You watch in pain as she untwists your pinkies and struggles to pick herself up from the floor. Where is she going? 'I don't want to be with you, so that's the end of that.' She coughs awkwardly. 'I'm gonna go.'

'Where are you going?' You ask sadly. Is she really just leaving you right now alone on the floor with a bloody foot? Not that she knows you've been cut, but whatever.

'Don't know yet.' She shrugs her shoulders. You frown at how abrupt she's being with you. You don't want to believe it, but it's almost like she's rebuilding those walls again, the ones you were so sure were shattered seem to have only cracked.

'Will you be coming home tonight?' You ask but only get a sigh in reply as she shakes off a few bits of glass from the back of her jeans.

'I don't know Brittany.'

And that's all she says before turning towards the door. She doesn't even look at you.

'Santana?' You call.

She stops, and you're thankful enough for that.

'Yeah?' She asks quietly. At least she's not yelling at you like before. You look into those deep brown eyes and you know she's still trying to hide from you but it's too late for that now, you see her, all of her, and you're not letting her get away from you again.

'Don't do anything silly okay?' You say while slowly pushing yourself from the tiled floor. 'You're all I've got.'

Santana bites her lip and nods her head. Thank god.

'I won't.' She smiles. A real smile. It feel like a million years since you've seen one of those and it warms your heart instantly. So much so that you almost forget that she's leaving you again. You chance a glance down to your foot and blush when you realise you've got the smallest spot of blood coming from your little toe. You feel silly imagining all the blood gushing down your leg while you were talking to Santana. 'Promise. I just… I just need to think for a bit.'

'Think here.' You plead shamelessly. 'Where I know you're safe.'

You just want to know she's close, and safe, and not passed out with the cops closing in on her…

'You've been very bossy lately.' Santana smirks. A smirk! You never thought you would miss those, guess you were wrong. 'It's kind of hot.'

You smile wide at her flirting. You almost forgot she could be like this, so challenging and sexy all at once. It reminds you of the Santana you first met, maybe the Santana you fell in love with? Oh god, you still can't believe you said that! You don't regret it though, you're actually a little proud of yourself…even if she didn't say it back.

You watch as Santana ducks her head in what you think might be shame and her cheeks blush with embarrassment. You take a small step forward and capture her head between your hands, making her look into your eyes.

'Hey, don't do that okay?' You say sweetly. 'I like it when you flirt with me.'

If it was possible, Santana only blushes harder and tries to release her head from your grasp.

'Santana, look at me. I am not Quinn. Remember when I told you I won't ever let you down?'

Santana stares at you for a moment but you already know she remembers, how can she forget the night you almost kissed?

'Yeah.' she breathes.

'I meant it.' You say firmly. 'So, please stay. I promise I'll give you your space to think. I just need to know that you're safe.' You release her head from your hands and take a step backwards, giving her the space she needs. 'Please.'

'Okay.'

_**XX**_

_**Fun fact that you're already aware of and I only just realised: this whole chapter revolves around a bathroom haha hope that wasn't too boring!**_


	18. Chapter 18

_**Hello beautiful people:)**_

_**Okay so not a whole lot happens in this chapter but it's just a bit of a light chapter compared to the dramatic 'bathroom scene'. **_

_**A few things to address:**_

_**April is NOT April Rhodes haha gross people…just gross. I didn't even think of that when I thought of the character haha I just like that name. No, April is about the same age as Santana….not like forty, and not an alcoholic. Cool? Good. Moving on:)**_

_**I'm not changing the perspective of the fic…but I think you guys already worked that out haha forgot to mention it last update but there was an overwhelming amount that wanted to keep it the same, and some people made some really good points so thankyou:) I understand there are some people who are dyslexic or speak a different language that find it hard to read this story and I honestly am sorry, but I don't think there's anything I could do to make it easier to read for you guys:/ sorry:(**_

_**Also there is some (SPOILER kind of but not really) Spanish in this chapter and I have to apologise to my amazing little Spanish teacher because I couldn't really figure out how to put accents on the letters in Microsoft Word (I may have given up after the first try) soooo basically I've ruined all the beautiful translations you've given me. Don't hate me….so as a collective group I think we should all just pretend that the Spanish I have written is awesome and one hundred percent correct. Deal? Unless you speak Spanish…then you will hate me for life.**_

_**I think I had a point for this one but as soon as I typed '4' I just thought of '4 for you glen coco!'….oh now I remember! Ummm over 700 reviews…I'm sorry what? How? I just can't with you all…**_

_**Love you all, now read my story:)**_

_**iOnlyWatchTheStars: MWHA! I Love you:)xx**_

_**BlueLightsM: I'm so sorry:( ….i have failed you.**_

_**Marylelo22: oooh maybeeee, most probablyyyy:)**_

_**Ninja awesome monkey: first of all, great name haha. Second of all, thank you:)**_

_**Pourwords: I make people snort, that's what I do haha**_

_**OmgNinjaPop: we will! **_

_**Sienna: thanks hon! Do you write?**_

_**jjLives: hahahaha loved it. Maybe next time shower before work, just a thought. Don't want you getting fired from work for unhygienic odours due to a bad case of fanfiction haha.**_

_**Naynayrivers428: soon my love, soon;)**_

_**i-am-unicornBS: wow thankyou so much! You liked that line? Cool:) I love it when I can make someone think like that xx**_

_**lisaand: Hey Lisa! Wow thank you so much for the offer, really that's amazing that you would want to do that for my story! I'm going to have to pass though:/ for several reasons that have nothing to do with you at all, I bet you're amazing. One, I always hated group work in school and I feel like this would be the same haha, two, I can get pretty lazy and you would no doubt get frustrated with me, and three I kind of like to think I've been going okay so far and I think I should be able to keep that up. Thanks gorgeous:)**_

_**alex21hhr: wow! Thanks Alex! That was wonderful to read. I'm glad I can get inside your head (in a non-creepy way):) xx**_

_**katiek28: thanks for the review! You always write such lovely things, as soon as I open a review and I see 'katiek28' I'm like oh thank god haha because I already know it's going to be beautiful:)**_

_**chellytots1: my thoughts exactly! Thank you:)**_

_**Glee4ever123: haha I thought you might be pleased with Puck out of the picture! And I'm working on that Quinn thing:)**_

_**Dafuq33: haha sorry! No blood in this one! Promise!...oh wait…no, there's no blood haha**_

_** .java: okay first of all…can you speak all those languages? Because wow haha. And I am perfectly fine and healthy, nothing to worry about there hon:) I just needed to to visit my family for a bit:) Oh and your wish is my command;)**_

_**Xxxxxxxx**_

The next morning you wake up to the smell of home drifting through the apartment, well the smell of bacon, but that smells like home to you. Your dad used to make bacon and eggs every Sunday morning and the smell would always wake you from your slumber. You wonder if Santana knew that? No, she couldn't have.

You lift your sleepy head from the silk black pillow Santana had given you last night, seeing as you were out on the couch again. It wasn't Santana's decision for you to sleep on the couch, you told her you were, and she couldn't really argue after that. She needed her space and you were going to give it to her.

You spot her lonely figure, working happily in the kitchen. You say happily because she really does look happy. She's so enthralled in whatever she is cooking that she probably doesn't even realise she's smiling. You're glad she's cooking and baking again, she must have really loved doing that with her Grandmother if it makes her this happy.

You watch her for a while, smiling at the way she potters around the kitchen, taking out a tray from the oven, inspecting her creation and then putting it back in with a frown on her face. She can be so cute without even trying or knowing, and that just makes her even cuter. God…you are so in love with her.

How did it even come to this? Love? When did it start? Was there a definitive moment when you thought oh yes, I do love her, or had you always felt it without knowing? You said 'I love you' to Artie and honestly you thought you did, but you had never felt the need to scream it at him because you were so desperate for him to feel your love. You never needed him to know as much as you need Santana to know. And where did this love even come from? It sounds silly but you always pictured yourself marrying someone like your dad. Someone who is always so caring, so thoughtful, he walked around like he was no better than anybody else but yet he had to have known that he was. He would never fight another human being unless he was in uniform and would always put others in front of himself. So how on earth did you end up falling for someone who calls you names, slams doors, walks around like she owns every street in New York, fights without a question of why, and more often than not puts herself before all else?

You look up once more and catch Santana in her final moments of plating up her dish. She must feel your gaze because she glances up and your eyes meet, and she gives you that smile, that genuine smile that's all teeth and dimples and now you know. That damn smile is what's done it. All she ever had to do was walk through that apartment door and smile at you like that and you were left with no other option than to fall completely and utterly in love with Santana Lopez.

'Breakfast is ready Britt.' She smiles at you from the kitchen. It takes a second for those words to sink in, you're still kind of staring at those dimples. Oh, and have you mentioned how much you love it when she calls you Britt?

'Coming!' you say cheerily, smiling when you hear that breathy chuckle.

You slip easily off the couch and make your way to the kitchen. You're kind of relieved when you notice Santana's got shorts and a shirt on this morning, you don't think you would be able to handle any less clothing right now, especially now she knows how you feel about her.

You slide onto one of the stools and place your elbows on the counter, gazing curiously at the creation in front of you. You can feel Santana's nervous eyes on you and it makes you smirk a little, she always gets so nervous if you'll like her cooking or not. She doesn't need to be though, because it without fail always tastes delicious.

'What is it?' You ask as you stare down at the plate. You smile when you see a tan hand come into your line of sight as she hurriedly explains what's on the plate.

'Um well I just like lightly toasted this bread roll and then I cut a hole in the middle, and I lined it with rashes of bacon and cracked an egg into the hole, and then I put that in the oven to cook, and then you know, just put some spinach leaves on the top for decoration, so…' She explains in a rush. You just want to lunge across the counter and kiss those blubbering lips but you stop yourself before you lose all control.

'Well it looks and smells amazing Santana.' You smile up at her. 'Thank you.'

'You're welcome.' She mutters under her breath as she fiddles to get some cutlery from the draw beside her. She passes you a knife and fork before getting some out for herself. You watch her curiously as she picks up her plate and rounds the counter until she slides onto the stool next to you. She looks so tired, you see those bags under her eyes again and you wonder if she actually got any sleep last night.

'How'd you sleep?' you ask over a mouth full of egg and bacon. Yum.

'Good.' Santana says, bringing her hand to her mouth to stop food falling out. You shake your head at the obvious lie she just told.

'Liar.' You tease. Santana almost chokes on a piece of toasted bread and you can't help but laugh at her. She gives you a glare but you don't take it to heart because she's still smiling. 'You look like you didn't sleep a wink.'

'Yeah well…I had a lot to think about.' She says quietly. Hmm you thought that might have been the reason. You wonder what she thought about.

'And how did that go?' You ask slowly, hoping to get some kind of clue.

You don't. She just shrugs her shoulders and breaks off another section from her bacon and eggs creation. You figure you're not going to get much out of her until she's ready to talk.

'I was going to go get some paint today and fix that horrible wall.' You say, changing the subject to make her feel more comfortable. You really have been hanging out to paint that wall though, it's disgusting. 'Want to come?'

'I don't think so.' She mumbles slowly. She looks at you and you know she feels bad for turning you down but it's okay. You get it. 'I just…'

'Need to think?' You offer with a small smile.

'Yeah.' Santana sighs thoughtfully, offering a small smile back before cutting a piece of bacon. 'Are you going to see April today?'

There she goes again, saying something that you know she cares about in such a casual fashion that she could have easily been talking about the breakfast she was eating, but she wasn't, she was talking about April and you know it's a question she's been wanting to ask. Maybe that's what she was thinking so hard about last night?

To be honest you think you kind of should see April today, at least to apologise to her for last night. You basically shoved her through the door without a second thought, that wasn't very nice of you. It was something you would never do normally. But Santana needed you and you couldn't think of much else, and she still needs you now, so no, you won't be seeing April today.

'I don't think so.' You say just as casually. Santana's still looking at her food but you can see a hint of a smile playing on her lips.

'Sorry for ruining your date last night.' She says after a moment of silence.

'You didn't.' You reply, breaking off a piece of bread to pop into your mouth. Well, she kind of did ruin your date with April but to be honest if Santana hadn't of barged through the door at that moment, you have no idea where that kiss would have led to, and you don't really want to think about it. You still feel a little guilty. But why do you even feel guilty? It's not like you and Santana are dating? You don't even know if she likes you like you like her. Ugh, it's all so confusing.

'What are you going to do today?' You ask. You know she has work later on because you do too but you're not about to bring that up, especially when she will already be anticipating the absence of Puck and Tina. Something you don't need to remind her of. And it's not like she can go visit Sebastian now. Actually when you think about it…what friends does she have left? Well, apart from you?

'Hang around here probably.' She shrugs. You feel your heart clench because of the whole time you've lived with her she has never once allowed herself to 'hang around' the apartment for a whole day. She must have no place else to go. You wish she would come shopping with you. But if she needs her space, you shall give it to her. Reluctantly.

'Okay well, I'm going to go get that paint.' You announce once you have cleared your plate of its delicious content. 'Do you need anything?'

You look to Santana as you place your plate in the sink and she just shakes her head at you. She seems to just be pushing her food around her plate with the fork now.

'No.' She says with another little shrug. You inwardly sigh, hoping she would have changed her mind about coming to the shops. You're not even really sure where to get paint from. Oh well.

Once you've put away your dish you make your way to the bathroom for a shower.

'Brittany?' Santana calls before you can get too far away. You swivel on your feet to face her and find her biting her lip.

'No pink.' She says and you tilt your head to the side. What? 'I can't live in a pink apartment… I just can't.'

You can't help but smile at her adorableness. A little bit inside of you wants to come back with a big tin of candy cane pink and sneak into Santana's room when she's not home but that thrill is quickly replaced with fear. So you scrap that thought. She would be soooo mad.

'No pink.' You agree. But you can't help but play with her a little tiny bit.

'Salmon?' you ask over your shoulder.

'That's pink!'

XXXXXXXXXXX

Okay so after some intense googling on your iphone, in which you walked into two people on the sidewalk, you eventually discovered there is a paint shop two blocks from your apartment. Success!

It took you all of three minutes to pick a colour which you weren't expecting at all. On the way there you were running through all the possible options in your head, purple standing out as the favourite. But once you walked into the store and saw the canary yellow pallet, your mind instantly thought of sunshine, and you thought maybe Santana would like that colour. You bought a big tin, which was a little more expensive than you were anticipating, and some paintbrushes before exiting the store.

Before you head back to the apartment, you have one more stop to make. You haven't really had the courage lately to go back to the supermarket with the chance of seeing Sam, but there is something about today that's giving you strength and determination…plus you just really want to surprise Santana with a new light bulb in her room. If she's going to spend so much time in there thinking, it would be nice to have some light.

Much like picking out the paint colour, it takes you no time at all to spot that familiar blur of blonde hair and big lips as soon as you walk through the sliding supermarket doors. Thankfully, Sam looks pretty busy, so you quickly speed walk past the registers, grab a trolley to put your paint tin in, and start searching through the aisles.

As you go through the aisles you pick up more things to put in your trolley that's needed for the apartment. More bread, milk, chocolate, washing powder…not too much stuff though, you've learnt your lesson from the first time you tried to buy groceries. You roll your eyes to yourself when you finally discover the light bulbs in the second last aisle. You snatch the one that looks like the light in your room, hoping that they are the same, and chuck it in your trolley. Now to go pay…

You hold your breath as you walk out into the open, free from the cover of the aisles, as you search for an available register to go to. Your eyes automatically find Sam even though you were kind of trying not to look in his direction. Thankfully he didn't catch your eye. You can see that Sam's register is a bit more busy than the rest and you feel like you should sigh in relief and go to another register but apparently your feet have other plans, and in no time at all you're walking to the end of his line.

A large woman standing behind the register next to his is waving at you to come to her empty line but you just shake your head at her and she gives you a funny look. No, you have to do this. You have to confront Sam. Santana taught you to stand up for yourself and not let other people push you around, you can do this. Deep breaths.

When the last person in front of you leaves and you find yourself stepping up to Sam's register you thought you would still be nervous, but you can't help but smile quietly to yourself at the look of shock on his face. You even surprise yourself when your smile grows a little bigger at the sight of his right eye, a nice yellow ring circling the socket. In a weird way it makes you think of Santana, and how it made you feel all warm inside that she would stand up for you like that without even asking any questions.

'Brittany!' Sam exclaims shockingly when he takes a double look at your face. You just smile to yourself as you continue placing your items on the counter, enjoying the way he struggles for words. 'I've been trying to get a hold of you, is everything okay?'

'Everything is great actually.' You smile casually. 'How are things with you?'

'Uh good I guess.' Sam answers as he begins to scan through your items. You get the feeling he's not quite sure what to say anymore, he's probably a little shocked to find you acting so calm when you haven't spoken to him in over a week, that thought makes you smile even wider. 'I would be better if I got to see you more.'

'I've been busy.' You shrug nonchalantly. This is kind of fun, you feel like Santana, no wonder she's always smirking when she does this kind of stuff. Although you wouldn't do this to everyone, just Sam, because he hurt you and that's bullying and you won't allow it.

'I guess you have been too.' You say slowly. Sam eyes you curiously as he places the bread into a bag for you. You know he doesn't know what you're talking about, but that just makes it more exciting. 'What happened to your eye?'

You watch with delight as Sam's eyes go wide for a second and a deep blush coats his cheeks. He focusses his eyes on the computer screen in front of him even though you know he's not typing anything in.

'Oh uh, some guy at the gym caught me by accident while he was stretching.' He explains with a shrug. 'Big guy.'

You have to bite your lip from laughing too hard as you nod your head. That's a lie. 'Right.'

'So I'm free tonight.' He says nervously. 'I'd love to take you out?'

You curse yourself for the little pang of guilt you feel when you see his hopeful face. You have to remind yourself that this is the guy that was making out with another girl right in front of you just days after your first date. No, stay strong.

'Yeah, sorry Sam but I'm just not really feeling it…you know, _us._' You say slowly as you place your bags back into the trolley, happy to hear your voice didn't shake with nerves.

'What do you mean you're not _feeling it?_' He asks. You look back up to find him staring at you with a look of disbelief, like there is no possible way you could not be feeling him or something. That only makes you more confident.

'I don't want to date you.' you state carelessly. His face just scrunches up further. 'How much does that come to?'

Sam stares at you for a moment. Well... longer than a moment, it was a while and it was kind of awkward. He's looking at you like you're playing some sort of joke on him but when your face doesn't give away any sign that you're playing a prank on him his shoulders sink further in disappointment.

'$36.80….' He says slowly, like he's still giving you a chance to change your mind. You don't. You give him the money and take a hold of the trolley.

'I don't need the receipt.' You smile. 'Thanks!'

You leave the supermarket without turning back once. The whole situation probably wasn't your finest moment. You don't think you've been this crude ever. But in another way, you are so damn proud of yourself. You just want to tell Santana, you can already imagine the smirk that will fall across her face. You know she hates Sam.

You pull out your phone because the excitement is just too much, you need to tell her now, you need to tell her how much stronger she's made you. But before you can search for her contact another name is running across your phone screen. _April._

You bite your bottom lip because you're not sure if you should answer it or not, but then you have no idea why you wouldn't? You practically ditched your date for Santana last night the least you can do is answer her call.

'Hi.' You say quietly into the phone. You're not really sure why you're speaking so quietly when you're on a busy street but you kind of feel like she will be mad, and if you talk quieter maybe she will too. Nope.

'Hey gorgeous!' April replies. You can't help but smile and breathe a sigh of relief for her cheerfulness. 'I'm sorry if this is a bad time but uh, I just wanted to see if everything was okay? Last night looked a little tense?'

'Hey, yeah, no everything is fine…um.' You want to tell her about last night, you do, and you know she deserves an explanation but Santana was just so fragile. You need to protect her…but at the same time you don't think you can just lie to April about something so serious.

'Brittany it's okay, you don't have to tell me about it okay? I just wanted to know if you were alright?' April says. You say a million prays thank you to her. She always knows what to say, you don't know how she does it.

'Thank you.' You breathe and hear a little giggle down the line. 'I'm fine. Sorry for kind of…kicking you out last night. That was rude of me.'

'Hey no, don't apologise!' She says. You get so trapped in your little conversation you forget you're walking along a busy sidewalk with a phone in one hand and steering a trolley in the other hand. You almost run into a woman and her husband but recover just in time. Okay, pay attention. 'Are you free today? You could make it up to me?'

Ahhh…

You don't know why but your first reaction is just to say 'no' but you can't really do that. Because what are you doing today? You're painting a wall which could be done any day and then you're hanging around until work. But…argh you kind of just want to be with Santana today. Even though you know she will be 'thinking' all day and will probably be in her room you just want to be in the apartment, with the hopes of having a conversation with her if she comes out of her room for food or something. Plus you certainly don't want her thinking you're on another date with April, you don't want to do anything that will send her into another spiral like last night.

'Um…can I make it up to you another day?' You eventually decide on. That's not rude right?

You hear a sigh through the phone and you bite your bottom lip in anticipation.

'You're lucky you're so adorable Britt. Of course you can.' April giggles and you smile. 'Oh hey, there was another reason I called you!'

'Yeah?' You ask breathlessly. You're kind of walking up a bit of a slope now and it is killing your legs to keep this damn trolley straight!

'Yeah, Bieste wants you for the solo slot!' April cheers excitedly. 'Better start practicing girl!'

'What?' You almost lose control of the trolley again. 'Really?!'

'Yep, when you're ready you go on stage by yourself! Think you can handle that?'

Up on stage. By yourself. The lights. The people. All there for you. Everything you've ever dreamed of.

'Definitely.' You breathe.

'Okay well not to pressure you, but uh she wants you up there soon.' You hear April say distantly. You're still kind of in your own zone.

'That's okay.' You say confidently. 'I've got this.'

And you actually believe that. Even though you can feel those nervous butterflies swirling around in your stomach at just the thought of your own solo act on stage, you know you've waited your whole life for this moment, and you can do it.

'Need any help?' April offers nicely. 'I could offer my services again?'

You can hear the flirting in her voice but for now you choose to ignore it.

'Thanks but…I think I'll try this one on my own.' You say gently. You need to do this one on your own. You need to prove it to yourself, and to Santana, and most of all to your parents just how far you've come.

'That's my girl.' April says. 'Goodluck Brittany. Let me know when you're ready to make it up to me.'

'I will.' You smile. 'Thanks again. Bye.'

'Watch where you're going!' some old lady yells at you as you fumble to get a grip on the trolley while you put your phone back into your pocket.

'Sorry!'

XXXXXXXXXXX

When you finally haul all the groceries and your paint materials up those damn stairs to the third floor you are so exhausted you've lost all excitement to tell Santana about your Sam encounter. Maybe later. First, you need to find the little devil that was too lazy to help you with all the bags!

You shut the apartment door and drop the bags on the kitchen bench before heading to Santana's room. You know you shouldn't be disturbing her like this, you said you would give her the space she needed, but maybe she would like to help you paint the kitchen wall? That's not overstepping right?

You can hear music from inside her room, you smile when you notice it's Britney Spears, and you knock on her door. She doesn't answer. You knock again. No answer. Argh. You know she's in there, maybe she just can't hear you.

Rachel kind of warned you not to go into her room without her asking but you've been in there heaps of times now. It won't be a problem.

You turn the handle and open the door. The first sight you see is definitely not what you were expecting. Your mouth kind of drops open, but not in shock, in awe.

There, sitting in the middle of her big black bed, in the shade of her dark and mysterious room, is Santana, sitting cross-legged on her covers with a little fluffy ducky in her hands. You only get to catch a glimpse of the moment before there's a flash of movement and ducky is being thrown across the room, missing the tv by an inch.

'Fuck.' Santana curses. You look back to her to see her sitting tense with cheeks the darkest shade of red you have seen on her. It kind of brings a smile to your lips. So ducky is the one who's been hearing all these thoughts? Lucky duck.

'Uh…I just wanted to let you know I'm back.' You say slowly. She's still blushing and it's taking all of your self control not to run over to her and kiss those cheeks like they've never been kissed before. 'Do you want to help me paint?'

Santana looks up to you finally, and once she sees that you're not laughing, she nods her head.

'Sure.' She says quietly. You wait patiently as she slides off her bed, still using as little eye contact as possible and walks towards you. 'I was just moving ducky off my bed by the way.'

'Okay.' You giggle. She's so cute. 'Do you have a shirt I can wear? You know just something old that I can get paint on?'

Santana stares at you for a second like she wasn't quite sure if you were asking what you did. You quirk your brow at her and she finally snaps out of it.

'Oh yeah.' She says quickly. You watch her stumble over to her dresser and sort through her clothes. You can't help but feel special that she didn't just grab a shirt off the floor and hand it to you. She ends up pulling out a plain dark blue singlet and hands it to you. 'Here.'

'Thanks.' You say cheerily. You drop the shirt on Santana's bed and begin to lift your own up.

'Ah, i'll let you change.' Santana says hurriedly and rushes out the door. You can't help but giggle. So cute.

XXXXXXXXXX

'Canary yellow?' Santana questions. 'The wall is already yellow Britt.'

You giggle and dip your paintbrush into the paint for the first time. You're not really sure how to paint a wall, but you laid down a towel so you wouldn't get it on the floor so that's a good start.

'Yeah but that's mustard yellow that's a sad yellow, this is a happy yellow.' You explain as you make the first brush stroke down the mustard coloured wall. Santana said something about stripping back the paint or painting it white first but you waved your hand at that. It should work if you just paint over it, you used to do that when you got sick of the colour of your doll house, just painted over it. Same thing.

'Makes sense.' Santana mumbles. She looks kind of hot with her hair tied back into a loose ponytail. She's got short shorts on but you can't really see them because of the baggy shirt she has over the top. So naturally your mind just imagines she doesn't have anything on at all and that doesn't really help the situation. You think she might be wearing Pucks work shirt, that makes you sad for a second until you realise she's about to destroy it.

When she catches you staring at her you quickly look away, focussing your attention back on the task at hand. It's kind of soothing actually. Up and down. up and down. side to side. Squiggly line zigzag….rainbow…love heart.

You can feel Santana's gaze flick to you every couple of minutes. You know sooner or late she's going to have to tell you you're doing it wrong. You wonder how long it will take her to say something. You even turn your head once or twice to meet her gaze but she just quickly looks away and continues her slow accurate strokes. You decide to test her further. You go a little off course on your next stroke and start painting the skirting board. You can feel Santana's eyes boring into you. You glance up at her but once again she looks away.

'You're really going to just let me paint this?' You ask in surprise.

'What?' Santana says without taking her eyes off her paint brush. 'I don't care where you paint.'

She doesn't care where you paint?

'Oh really?' You ask, a tiny smirk forming on your lips. Santana doesn't see it. She just nods her head.

You bite your bottom lip, debating whether you should do it or not…oh what the heck.

You take a step to your left and brush your paintbrush directly down Santana's exposed arm. She freezes as soon as the brush hits her, like she can't quite comprehend this is happening. You can't help but giggle. When you're finished, you dip your brush back into the paint, and continue on painting. You can still feel Santana glaring at you and it only makes your smile grow.

'That's it Pierce.' She says and you instantly forget about the wall. You jump back just in time to dodge Santana's first strike.

'No!' you scream in laughter as Santana chases you through the apartment with her brush raised above her head threateningly.

XXXXXXXXX

Your heart feels like it's banging in your chest as you lie flat on the kitchen floor, Santana an arms-length away staring up at the wall. You had been chasing each other around the apartment for the better part of half an hour and you are stuffedddd.

'Mr Cripky is going to flip his shit when he sees this.' She laughs. You turn your head back and look up at the wall. Santana's section is near perfect, shining a bright canary yellow, whereas your section….there's hearts and rainbows and smiley faces and zig zags, and nothing is within the lines, not to mention the several splashes of yellow throughout the house from Santana chasing you with her brush. But to be honest you probably have more paint on your body than on the walls at the moment.

Whatever, you love it, Mr Cripky can deal with it! Whoever that is anyway.

'Who's that?' You ask with a giggle.

'Our landlord.' Santana answers. You look at her. She's smiling but you don't think it's because of the paint, or breaking the rules, you think it's just a genuine happy smile. She's happy right now. Right at this moment she's happy. You wish you had a camera with you. Maybe you should start carrying one around…no you've got one on your phone so that's okay. How would you get photos without her seeing? Would that be creepy? You shake your head, focus.

'Are we not allowed to paint the walls?' You ask curiously.

'Nope.' Santana chuckles. You feel the colour drain from your face. 'It's okay, I'll just tell him you did it.'

'Santana!' You yell and throw your paint brush in her direction, it hits her in the stomach and she gasps. You freeze when she glances back to you with a quirked eye brow and a smirk. 'No…no, no, no I didn't mean it!'

XXXXXXXXX

After a long shower which consisted of you spending half an hour scrubbing yellow paint from your body, you finally feel all clean and cuddly, and begin walking back to your room when something stops you. As you walk past Santana's room you notice the door is still open, and what you hear from inside sets your body on fire.

She's talking in that language again. She's talking with so much passion that you can feel it surging through your body and lighting up all your muscles. Who she is talking to? You don't know, maybe her mother again?

'Que? Entonces esas son sus unicas dos opciones?' (_What so they're her only two options?)_

You walk closer until you are standing in her doorway, just watching her pace her room, you note that she seems to pace a lot when she talks to her mom, or just when she talks like this.

'No te estoy dando una actitud.' _(I'm not giving you attitude.)_

You watch her sigh and slump down onto the edge of her bed. She leans forward, resting her elbows on her knees as she talks into the phone.

'Si lo se y agradezco todo lo que has hecho, pero puedes…'_(Yes, I know, and I appreciate everything you have done, but can you just…)_

She pauses for a moment, takes the phone away from her ear to look at the screen, and frowns.

'La perra me colgo!' (_Bitch hung up on me!)_

The volume of her voice makes you jump a little and you curse yourself when that draws her attention. Santana's eyes dart to your lonely form, standing awkwardly in the doorway, no explanation needed because it's quite clear to both of you what you were doing. You just hope she's not mad.

'Ah, estas afuera?' (_Oh you're out?)_ Santana says. You freeze and your eyes go wide. Is she talking to you? She's looking at you…she must be talking to you. You're not sure why but when she starts talking to you like that you instantly feel your knees begin to weaken. She's looking you in the eyes with those deep brown orbs and she's saying those words that you have no idea what they mean but they're rolling off her tongue like melted chocolate and it paralyses you. So sexy.

'Esta era mi mama, mira ella trato de averiguar tu situacion y…Que?_' (That was my Mom, look she's tried to figure out your situation and – what?)_

Santana stops and stares at you under a creased brow. You shuffle your feet nervously along the ground beneath you.

'I don't speak that…' You say quietly, your breath a little shaky because you can still hear those words swirling around in your head. . Santana takes a moment to look at you. It's like she has no idea what you're going on about and you want to explain further but you can barely move your legs let alone your mouth.

Finally, it hits her.

'Oh shit!' She says and shakes her head. 'Sorry Britt I was in Spanish mode.' Spanish. That's what she speaks. Spanish. Remember that. 'Uh, that was my Mom, she told me your options with the house and everything. Um, are you okay?'

Huh?

Are you okay? Yeah you're okay…you're getting hot, but you're okay.

'Yeah that was uh…Sexy.' You say slowly. You knew the words were going to come out of your mouth and for a split second you tried to stop them but it's like you've lost all train of thought, all control of rational thoughts.

'Me talking to my mom is sexy?'

You snap your eyes back to Santana at the tone of her sultry voice. She's smirking at you, and you know she's going to start teasing you soon but you can't find the will to stop her, or to care for that matter. You just want her to talk in Spanish again.

'You talking in Spanish…very sexy.' You say. She quirks her brow at you in question but you don't say anything. You're just staring at her lips as she stands from the bed and waltzes over to you with a look of want and need and it's all you can do to keep your knees from buckling.

'Really?' She asks seductively. You nod your head, not taking your eyes off those lips and that tongue that you know is rolling inside her mouth to say those words. Ugh. 'What if I said… Tengo hongos en los pies?_' (I have toe fungus?)_

'Sexy.' You breathe. God, so sexy.

'What if…' She steps closer until she's inches away from your face. 'Huelo a gasolina?' _(I smell of gasoline?)_

'Do you like that?' She whispers with a smirk, and yes, your knees might actually buckle now.

'Mhmm.' You agree, not trusting any more words to fall from your mouth. How can she be so sexy?

She leans forward that extra inch until her lips are by your ear and your breath hitches when you feel her linger near your skin.

'I want to lick your… Codo.' _(Elbow_)

Oh dear god.

Somebody please throw some cold water on you. You don't think your body has ever been this hot. Just the thought of Santana licking anything of yours turns you on like nothing else. You will definitely have to make a mental note to google translate _'Codo_' later. You hope it's as sexy as it sounds. Ugh, you bet it is.

'Me encanta hacerte sonrojar.' (_I love making you blush)_

Santana pulls away from your ear slowly, smirking to herself. You're aware that she's teasing you, she would have to be, but you can't find the will to care, not when your panties are this wet and your mind is all fuzzy from having her so close again.

'W-what did you say?'

'You'll never know.' She winks before walking back to bed. You take this time to catch your breath for a second. So sexy. 'Now … Do you want to hear it?'

…?

It takes you a moment to remember exactly what it was you were meant to be hearing. Oh right! Yes, this is important. Okay focus!

'Why do I get the feeling this isn't good news?' You ask warily.

'No it's not bad news or anything, but yeah…not great news.' Santana squints sympathetically like she doesn't even believe her own lie. She pats the space next to her on the bed. 'Come sit.'

Reluctantly, you obey and go sit with her. You smile a little when you feel the black silk fabric under your fingertips, you've missed that feeling.

'Okay um, I'm just gonna say it.' Santana starts. 'Your parents didn't have a lot of money, right?'

Oh.

Um…

'Um, I don't know.' You say awkwardly. You definitely weren't poor or anything, well nowhere near where you are now, but then again your parents never really talked about money with you. They always said money was never any of your concern, you just concentrate on being the best little angel you could be. That was it. Did they not have a lot of money? 'I guess not?'

'Well, the good news is that they set up a fund for you for when you go to college…so uh or you know, dance um…' Santana splutters over her mistake and honestly you probably would have been sad knowing your parents opened a fund for you to go to college only for you to end up dancing, but the fact that Santana spluttered so much at her mistake makes you smile a little. 'So you can access that now you just have to go down to the bank and prove your identification and that.' She takes a deep breath and you want to put your hand on hers or something to calm her down but you know you can't. 'The bad news is that they were nowhere close to paying off their mortgage, and as their only child…you have inherited the house, and the mortgage that goes with it.'

'Okay…' You say slowly. You've heard of a mortgage before, you've heard your parents speak of it at the dinner table a few times, but you never really paid too much attention to that.

'Basically your options are to keep the house and find some way to pay off the mortgage or…sell it.' Santana says.

What?

'What?' You whisper. 'I can't sell my house Santana. That's my home? t-that's my parents home? No, I'm not selling it!'

You could never sell your house. That's where you grew up, that's the first house your parents bought after they got married. No, not happening. All those memories, in that one house, you can't destroy them now. Every single memory is so precious.

'Well do you have fifty grand handy?' Santana asks. 'Because that's how much you have to pay off.'

Fifty grand?

That's a lot more than you thought…

You definitely don't have that kind of money, but what else can you do? You can't sell it, you just can't.

'What do you think I should do?' You ask weakly.

You're looking at this girl, this amazing girl with a paint streak on her forehead and a painted sun on her cheek and tussled hair and you are asking her to help make one of the toughest decisions you've ever made and maybe ever will make in your life, and you're completely okay with the fact you've only known her for a couple of months. You trust her. You trust her with everything.

'I can't help you with that Britt.' Santana sighs, and you know she's right. 'Sorry.'

'I don't know what to do…'

'Well…you could go home?' Santana offers. 'Get a dancing job and slowly pay it off?'

'I don't really want to do that. This is my home now anyway.' You state truthfully. 'Home is where the heart is right?'

You curse yourself as soon as the words leave your mouth. You look down to your hands in your lap. You shouldn't have said that. 'Sorry, you're still thinking.'

You hear Santana sigh and you don't want to look up to see those eyes, to see what she's thinking.

'You better not be staying because of me Brittany.' She says quietly.

'What if I am?' you whisper. You are staying because of her. But it's not because she's been sad lately and she's been drinking and doing drugs and all that, it's not because of that. You want to stay because Santana is all you have, she is your family now. Wherever family is, home is.

'I'd tell you to leave.' Santana says. You lift your head and meet her challenging eyes.

'Have you noticed I haven't really being doing what you say lately?' You ask teasingly. Santana rolls her eyes.

'Yes, I have actually.' She smiles. 'It's very annoying.'

'You still love me.' Ugh, seriously. Again? 'Sorry.'

You catch a blush on Santana's cheeks and you curse yourself once again. Why do you have to keep doing that? Just give her time!

'Um, so that leaves you staying here…and I guess if you keep working at the club you could pay it over time?' She suggests hesitantly. 'Very slowly.'

'Sounds perfect.' You smile. To be honest all you heard was that you could stay here and that's all you had to hear before your mind travelled somewhere else. You could stay here, with Santana, forever.

'Okay good.' Santana smiles. There's that genuine smile again. 'I'm gonna go shower and get ready for work.'

You nod your head in thanks as she hops up from the bed and makes her way to the door.

'Oh Brittany?' She asks and turns back to you. You lift your head in acknowledgement and she gestures towards the bed. 'You're sleeping in here tonight.'

'Am i?' You ask. You're teasing but only to cover the instant warmth that spread throughout your whole body. You were wondering if there was ever going to be a time you could sleep in this bed again.

'Yes.' Santana smiles and shrugs her shoulders. 'No funny business. I just don't like you sleeping on the couch when there's enough room for both of us.'

'Okay.' You mumble with a blush. She's almost out the door when you call. 'Funny business?'

'Shut up.'

**XXXXXXXXXX**

**Bit of a nothing chapter but a lot more will be happening in the next!**

**Xx love xx**


	19. Chapter 19

_**So I debated with myself whether I should upload this today or not since I actually finished it today, and I decided I would and that people would just read it when they were ready to.**_

_**And I'd also like to say that everyone's got their own shit going on, like seriously everyone, so if any of you want to vent to a stranger feel free to PM me, I'm a pretty good listener and I'll try not to give you my shitty advice unless you ask for it. Unless you're like a murderer or something…then you're on your own with that one:/**_

_**RIP Cory.**_

_**(Still can't believe this)**_

_**XXX**_

_**iOnlyWatchTheStars: how much is that purple toy over here?**_

_**BlueLightsM: Buenos dias:)**_

_**Kot011: hey thank you so much, I'm glad you're liking it! The Spanish I use is from Paraguay, so yeah, I don't know if that's near you or something:/ haha thanks for the review, and thank you to whoever your friend is!**_

_**Ducksticks: oh thank you so much for approving of the Spanish haha hope you like this chapterrr:)**_

_**WhatIsWrongWithYou: Thank you! very much appreciated:)**_

_**Fernanda16: you translate this into Spanish so you can read it? That is like the biggest compliment anyone has ever given me haha that's amazing that you do that so thank you. And I guess now you will have to translate this response into Spanish to understand what the hell I'm going on about haha.**_

_**Dafuq33: hahaha well I'm thinking of having a scene where Santana has another encounter with Sam. Would you be down with that?**_

_**ichigoxrukia01: I don't think you're going to like this chapter…**_

_**katiek28: Thanks hon! Glad you're still enjoying this fic! Xx**_

_**Zurrli: So happy to hear you liked the last couple of chapters and the way I wrote Santana's past, made me very happy thank you:)**_

_**McLovinMachine: Love the name haha and thank you so much for the review:) ps you will most definitely find your Brittany, I can feel it haha**_

_**h-g-j-l-e-r-k : haha why thank you new follower, I hope I can keep my reputation with you!**_

_**FJ: you speak Spanish too? Wow. Thank you!**_

_**Naynayrivers428: is this chapter okay with you;) haha**_

_**HeYaBrittanaLove: haha loved your review anyway! You know how you can get better at them? I hear practice makes perfect haha just kidding…kind of;)**_

_**Lanter: yeah I was thinking of that but I didn't want to make it too confusing, I might add it in later:)**_

_**jjLives: can I just say that 'toodles' made me laugh way more than it should have haha**_

_** .java: another heartwarming review, thank you:) and also even if you speak half of those languages that is still extremely impressive haha well done.**_

_**Addict: Ha! I see what you did there, nice sailormoon reference, glad to hear someone knows what that is! And to answer your question I'm going to be super confusing and say I don't know haha**_

_**XXXX**_

Eighteen.

There are eighteen golden lights framing this mirror. Five along each side and four along the top and bottom. You wonder what would happen if one of them went out, would all the rest follow? Would they all continue working if one of them blew out or are they like a family, all for one and one for all?

You kind of want to touch one…

'Little Miss Sunshine!'

You snatch your hand back into your chest like an electric shock when you hear the voice of your boss. Jesus. Your eyes dart to the right in time to see her marching towards you, clip board in hand, dressed in a red and black suit with a look of distaste on her face. Uh oh, did she know you were about to touch the light?

'What's your name again?' Beiste asks as she approaches you.

The words are getting jumbled up in your head as she gets closer but you finally manage a quiet: 'Brittany.'

'Right.' She stops in front of you, thankfully, and places her hands on her strong hips. Beiste has never really addressed you directly and you can feel the nerves bubbling beneath your skin, wanting to escape and shake your limbs but you need to keep it under control. 'April talk to you kid? About the solo act?' You nod and Beiste waves her hands around quickly in frustration, like she's trying to hurry you up or something. 'Are you in?'

'Yes.' You say quickly. Were you supposed to have told her that? You kind of thought April would have told her…

'Good.' She says. 'You go on Friday night. Make sure Joe has your music before curtain call.'

Uh, wait what? Friday night, that's like…two nights away? You don't even have a routine yet, you don't even have a song?! And who is Joe? Where do you find him?

'Hey, if you screw this up, it's on you kid we don't take second chances here.' Beiste snaps her fingers in front of your face and you snap out of it. Wow, she was a lot closer than you thought…or did she walk closer? 'Understood?'

'Understood.' You say instantly. You kind of just want her out of your face. You never realised how big her head was until now. It's probably bigger than a soccer ball, but not bigger than a volleyball…or is it the other way around? Are they the same size? Maybe you're thinking of a bowling ball…

'Any questions, talk to Kitty.' Beiste grunts before slapping your shoulder. You thank god you're sitting down otherwise you probably would have stumbled to the ground with the force of her friendly push. 'Goodluck kid.'

'Thanks…' You mutter quietly as you watch her storm back down the line of girls touching up their make up, before disappearing behind that red curtain again. Where does she even go? Where is her office? You don't think you've ever seen it before. Then again you haven't really been shown much of this place, only what April's showed you, you really want to see behind the bar though and watch Santana's hands work.

God, Santana…

You are so excited for tonight. She said she wants you to sleep in her bed again. Well, she doesn't want you to sleep on the couch, but that's practically the same thing. Ever since she said that you can't help but let your mind run through the possibilities of tonight…

Snuggling.

Hands.

Lips.

Fingers.

Ugh, stop thinking. You have to concentrate! You're going on stage in like eight minutes, not to mention you should be thinking about what you are going to do for your performance in tomorrow night! Focus.

You stare at yourself in the mirror in front of you. Come on, you can do this. Make your parents proud.

You cough a little when a wind of hairspray flies in before your face. You snap your head to the right to see Kitty in the seat next to you, in front of her own mirror working away on her hair and make up. You're glad Sugar volunteers to do your make up, she's so good at it.

'You know if you keep thinking so hard over there you might actually grow a brain?' Kitty smirks. You frown at her words, you already have a brain, it might even be bigger than hers.

You're still a little hesitant around Kitty. She confuses you. On stage she is this majestic and talented woman who works the stage like she was born on it, she works with all the dancers and smiles and cheers and sings and just draws everyone in. Hell, even you have forgotten your steps once or twice because you were too busy watching her entertain. But then off stage she walks around like nobody else matters, like she's not a part of a team, like everybody else sickens her. It's confusing.

But she is a born entertainer, and she has been here the longest, maybe you could learn some things from her?

'So, um…' You start nervously. This is like the first time you've ever tried to speak to her alone like this. Well, there are other girls around, but not in hearing distance. 'Are there any rules I have to follow for my dance routine?' You ask shyly, watching as Kitty quirks her brow at you, her eyebrow pencil inches away from her face. 'Do I have to pick music without swear words in it?'

Kitty places her pencil down on the bench in front of her, filled with all her other beauty products, and turns to you in her chair with a smirk that would put Santana to shame. You gulp.

'Oh Sweety…' She tilts her head to the side and smiles. 'They're going to eat you alive out there.'

….What? You feel your heart sink.

'Shame, but let's face it you won't create a better act than mine even if you had beer streaming from your nipples as you danced.' Kitty winks, turning back around to her mirror and picking up her red lipstick. 'So to answer your question?' She catches your eye in the mirror and smirks. 'No one here gives a fuck what you do.'

Stunned, you watch quietly as she finishes applying the last of her makeup before standing from her chair and walking through the curtain.

You sit there for a moment more, watching yourself in the mirror and resisting the urge to touch your hair because you know you'll screw it up if you do. Does no one really care what you do? Even Beiste, and April, and Santana?

Speak of the devil.

You're glancing back to the curtain when you see Santana emerge from the red velvet drapes, a tray of drinks in her hand and a scowl on her face. Uh oh, is she mad at you too? You don't even have time to make yourself look busy before she is approaching your little station at the end of the line.

'What did she say?' She says immediately. You tilt your head to the side and you're about to ask who when she clarifies. 'Kitty.'

'Huh?' Oh she must have walked past her. 'Oh nothing.'

'Britt I know that conniving bitch said something, you look like a kicked puppy dog.' Santana says, turning around so she can lean her back against the bench, balancing her tray of what looks like shots on the inside of her left forearm.

You didn't think you looked sad but when you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror and see your lips puffed out in a pout you groan. You didn't even know you were doing that.

'She was just giving me some tips for my solo act.' You shrug as casually as you can. You don't want Santana to worry about you.

'Solo act?' She questions quietly. The change in tone grabs your attention and you look up to see her smiling at you. 'Wait you got the gig?'

Did you not tell her that?

'Oh yeah!' You say excitedly. 'Sorry I forgot to tell you.'

You think you see a flash of sadness shoot across her face but as fast as it came it was gone, replaced with a gentle smile.

'Brittany.' She says slowly, the way she's looking at you makes your heart race. 'That's…that's amazing.'

'Thanks.' You blush, picking up an eyelash curler for something to play with but not knowing how to use it so you just put it back down and let your hands fiddle in your lap.

'Oh here I brought you some liquid courage for tonight.' Santana announces. You glance up as she holds out the tray in front of her. 'Shots!' She yells and looks around.

You raise your eyebrows when the line of girls rise from their seats like clockwork and begin to swarm around Santana, grabbing shots from her tray. This must be something she does often. You stand from your chair too, mostly because you feel like you probably should for some reason. Through the girls gathering around and snatching shots you see a tan arm hold a small shot glass out to you and when the flock of girls finally disappear you can see Santana smiling.

You take the shot from her hand, confused at the colour. All the other shots were clear like vodka but the shot Santana gives you is red.

'What's this?' You ask cautiously, bringing it to your nose to smell it.

'Redskin shot.' Santana smiles. 'It tastes better than straight vodka trust me. You'll like it.'

You eye her skeptically and she rolls her eyes at you. You're not sure if you should be drinking alcohol before you go out and dance but all the other girls did it so maybe it will help? Plus Santana said you'd like it so…

Shrugging, you bring the shot to your lips and tilt back your head. You prepare yourself for the sting down your throat but it never comes. It actually leaves a yummy taste in your mouth like….like…

'Tastes like candy.' You smile.

There's that smile. That dimples and teeth smile that makes you weak at the knees and god…how are you supposed to go out and dance with jelly legs? She even gives you a little giggle and you're pretty sure your head just went all fuzzy. Maybe it's just the alcohol? Can alcohol work that quickly?

'I have to go, the bar is crazy tonight without Puck but uh, don't ask the girls for any more tips okay?' She says with a small smile. She nudges your shoulder with hers and you can't help but laugh at how silly she's being. You know she's trying to act like a friend, but you don't think she really knows how to do that anymore. You both know too much about your relationship to go back. 'You're the best in this place anyway.'

She winks at you and you feel your face flush.

'Gee thanks Santana.' Stacey says from her spot two stations down the line.

'Shut up whore.' Santana throws over her shoulder, making you giggle. She turns back to you one last time and gives you that smile. 'Kill it.'

God.

You watch in awe as she spins on her feet and walks back through the curtain like a goddess in black short shorts. Seriously, how are you supposed to dance now?

'Ten seconds bitches!' Kitty shouts as she marches through the room, grabbing her feathery scarf and adjusting her microphone. Everyone hurries to form a line behind the big draping curtain. You quickly snap out of your Santana daze just in time to strike your pose before the curtain is being raised…

The lights dim…And_ KittyKat_ takes centre stage.

'_A kiss on the hand may be quite continental, but diamonds are a girls best friend'_

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

When the nights performances are finished you quickly get changed into your sweats and rush out to the bar, hoping to ask Santana for a ride home. You frown when you see the bar is empty, the lights already off, and the benches cleaned. Damn. She already went home.

Maybe you could just wait outside for Sugar to finish getting changed and ask her for a lift?

It's either that or April…and that's probably not a good idea right now.

Sighing, you walk out the big 'exit' door, praying for the night air not to be too cold, and you freeze when you see a familiar figure standing by her old worn out car. You smile to yourself, and as casually as you can, you walk over to her. You can't help but love the way her lips angle up to the sky as she blows out a puff of smoke. You watch it drift into the night air and escape from her plump lips. God, no, smoking is bad, pull it together. But she looks so sexy…

'Ready?' Santana asks when you approach her car. You nod your head as she throws the cigarette to the ground and stomps it out.

'Ready.' You say. Santana bumps her body off the car door and turns around to open it, you rush around to the other side. You don't know why you rushed, obviously she waited for you, but still you don't want to keep her waiting longer.

When you get in the car Santana turns on the heater to its full power which you are so grateful for, it's a little chilly tonight, but she confuses you when she rolls down her car window as well. That's not very clever, all the heat will escape out the window. You're about to lean over and tell her that when you see her pull a packet of cigarettes from her pocket and takes ones out. You frown. Really? another one? She only just finished one…

You continue to frown at her as she places it between her lips and searches for her lighter, hoping that your gaze will discourage her.

It doesn't.

As you stare at her it becomes more and more apparent that she's not going to stop. You don't think she's even aware that you're looking at her. Why would she feel the need to have another cigarette so desperately that she would smoke while driving home? That's just gross and silly. You always glared at the people that would flick their smokes out the window once they were finished with them. That's littering, and it's unnecessary. The only reason you can think that she would be doing this is because of stress. But why is she so stressed? Is it because of you, because of the decision you are pressuring her to make? Well not pressuring….but you do give her those looks that make her have to look away from you sometimes. You can't help it, you just want to know what she's thinking. She's torturing you, she must know that.

In a split second you decide that if she's going to torture you and take so long then you are not going to make it easy for her. You reach across the console and pick the cigarette out from between her pursed lips. You're not really fully aware why you did that but she's staring at you now, and you can't back down.

'What are you doing?' She snaps. You note she tends to get agitated when you take away something she's smoking, drinking, or snorting. You have the thought of breaking the smoke in half and chucking it out your window, but that's littering and you don't like that. Instead, you get a better idea.

Shrugging coolly, you bring the cigarette to your own lips, trying to ignore the disgusting taste. Gross.

'Smoking.' You explain, reaching forward to take the lighter from Santana's shocked and limp hand.

'You don't smoke.' She says slowly, frowning as you try unsuccessfully to get the lighter to work. You've never really used one before. 'Come on, give it back.'

Santana reaches over but you move away from her before she could grab the smoke from your lips. You take it out of your mouth so you can speak.

'You smoke all the time, why can't i?' You challenge.

'It's bad for you Brittany.' Santana sighs, trying again to swipe for the cigarette, but failing.

'You do it.' You say. You meet her gaze and you know she's struggling to find some sort of argument against you but she won't find one, you're confident in that. She can't tell you not to do something when she does it herself. Whenever dad was home to see you off to school he would always say _'now remember to lead by example sweetie'_. That's what you're doing now, leading by example, and Santana just has to deal with it.

'Well fuck I won't smoke then.' You hear her mumble angrily. You should probably feel a little guilty for making her like this, but you can't help put let the pride swell into your chest.

'Promise?' You ask hopefully, holding the cigarette in front of you like some sort of reward if she answers correctly. Santana's brown eyes stare at you over a bit lip, and for a moment you really don't know which way she's going to go.

'I promise I'll try.' She says quietly and you can see the honestly play through her eyes. It wasn't exactly what you were hoping for, but she was honest, and that's probably the most important thing. So you nod your head gently, and you hand her back her cigarette and lighter. She looks at you shyly before putting the packet of cigarettes away, she winds up her window, and she puts the car into drive. You feel that pride swell a little more.

You smile as you pull out of the parking lot, not only because of the progress made today, but because she still drives at a snails pace when you're in the car with her.

Smiling softly to yourself, you lounge down into your seat, and let the radio take you home.

'_This one is for all the love birds out there. If you're sitting next to someone you love right now, don't forget to tell them you l-'_

You frown when Santana changes the station…so maybe not_ that_ much progress was made tonight.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

The next morning you wake from a loud thump coming from the apartment above. You roll over and groan at the disturbance. You hate it when that happens, don't people know how early it is? Maybe the people below you complain of your thumping? Hmm but you don't think you've ever thumped before…maybe when you're dancing in the living room.

When you roll over all the thoughts of upstairs vanish as your eyes land on the woman beside you. You say beside, but in all honestly it looks like she couldn't be further away if she tried, and you bet she did try. Santana is practically balancing on the edge of her bed, her back facing you like she's trying to trick her brain into thinking you're not there.

In a way it kind of hurts to think that she can't bare the thought of being near you right now, but you know it's only so she can keep a clear head, so she can think without your fingers tracing patterns on her skin. Unless she actually doesn't want to be near you, that would suck.

But you know she does because last night, she hesitated and hovered over your body like she wanted to touch you but she couldn't. After work she showered and got dressed in the bathroom. So you took that time to sneakily change the light bulb in her room with the one you bought earlier, turned on the light, stripped down to your panties and tank top, and hoped into bed. When you heard Santana enter her room you smirked quietly to yourself and pretended to be asleep. You actually had to turn your body on your side and away from her to stop your smile from giving you away as you heard her wander around her room. She slipped into bed, there was some shuffling, and then silence…

'Britt can you get the light?' You heard her groan. You just waited and tried to stifle your laugh. 'What the fuck?'

You squeezed your eyes shut tighter and tried desperately to relax your face, erasing signs of a smile, and stilling your body from shaking with laughter. Like a game of musical statues.

The bed was still for a moment longer, you could almost hear the wheels turning in her head as she tried to figure out what was happening. Then the bed dipped a little, and you could hear her walking to the light switch, and then you were plunged into darkness again. You kept your stature, and when she got back into bed, you felt her close to your body, hovering.

'You can pretend to be asleep, but I know this was you.' She said quietly. You had to bite your lip from smiling. 'Thank you.'

And then she rolled over, and you went to sleep with a smile on your face.

Your eyes go wide when you hear that thumping again, and you watch as Santana groans and turns over onto her other side until she's facing you. She opens her eyes with a scowl on her face but it softens when she meets your eyes.

'Hey.' You say quietly. You really want to reach your hand forward and run it through her messy hair but you restrain yourself, you've had to do that a lot lately.

'Hey.' She replies just as quietly. You can see that she's fighting again. You know she wants you here but you also know she thinks you shouldn't be here and you just wish you could help her, help her be free from whatever is holding her back.

It's funny, when you walk down the street or you're at work or even in the kitchen she's this confident, arrogant and sassy woman that doesn't take shit from anyone. But when she's in this room, in this bed, it's like she can't stop herself from showing who she is, showing her emotions even if she's not voicing them. You wonder if Puck got to see this too, or if it's only you that has been so lucky?

'Have you heard from him?' You question.

'Huh?' Santana says, scrunching her brow a little bit. So cute. 'Who?'

'Puck.' You clarify, you really have to stop thinking people can just read your mind all the time.

'Oh.' Santana breathes and rolls her eyes lightly. 'Yeah he called to tell me he skipped town because he freaked about Sebastian getting caught. Doesn't explain why he was fucking Tina behind my back though. Asshole.'

You frown at her words. How could someone do that? How could he cheat on Santana? She's the most…argh she's the most amazingly complicated girl you've ever met and you want to spend your whole life stripping down every layer of her being until you know everything there is to know about her, you'd never get bored of finding out who she is. How could Puck leave her after not even really knowing her?

'Why do you think he did it?' You ask.

'Probably had something to do with our friends with benefits situation being a lot less beneficial lately…' Santana explains quietly. She's not looking at you and it takes you a second to figure out why her cheeks are turning pink. Ohhh…is that why they had been fighting? Why you hadn't heard their 'nightly activities' for a while?

'Oh…' You say slowly. You don't really know what else to say. 'Do you miss him?'

Santana thinks for a moment and you hold your breath.

'Strangely…no.' She decides, and she looks as though she's surprised at her answer. 'What are you doing today?'

What are you doing today? You know the question was only asked to get the subject away from Puck, which is obviously still causing her some sort of pain, but you'll answer the question anyway.

'Well I might try and open my fund, that way I could finally furnish my room I guess.' You decide on. You've been meaning to do that since like…forever. Plus later you will have to work out your routine…

'You're buying a bed?' Santana questions.

'Yeah.' You say slowly. You can't have a bedroom without a bed. 'I'm sure you will be glad to have your bed back.' You joke lightly. You really don't want to go back to sleeping by yourself.

'I didn't mind.' Santana mutters slightly. 'I mean, it's not like you took up much room, and you don't kick or snore or anything…'

You can't help but smile at her rambling.

'Do you like me sleeping in your bed?'

'Um…' Santana looks away again and you know you shouldn't be doing this to her, but you just want answers, you want answers to everything and you're not getting any and it's frustrating the hell out of you. You just want to know what she's thinking.

'Because you know I could sleep in here every night if you let me.' You tease gently.

'Brittany.' She sighs.

'Sorry…I'm getting impatient.' You breathe. 'Can you tell me what you're leaning towards?' Santana shoots you an apologetic look. 'Right.'

'Brittany I can't be what you want.' Santana says eventually. 'I can't walk down the street holding your hand, or kiss you in public, or write you sappy love notes, or call you pet names, or any of that shit. I just can't.'

You feel your heart start beating faster and you know you should be upset by what she's saying but you're not, because at least she's talking to you about it, that's something.

'You can't?' You ask her. 'Or won't let yourself?'

Santana stares at you for a moment, weighing up her thoughts. You're pretty sure your heart is about to leap out of your chest.

'Both.'

Both…

You don't really know how to feel about that.

'So you've thought about this stuff?' You ask hopefully.

'Yes.' Santana answers.

And that's all you needed to hear. That's what she's been thinking about when she locks herself in her room and 'thinks', she's been thinking about holding your hand and kissing you in public. Her answer might not have been what you wanted, there's still something holding her back, but the fact that she thought about it means it's an option in her mind. She might actually want this, she just doesn't want to let herself have it.

'Does that mean you maybe, sort of, kind of, like me?' You ask, biting your lip to stop your gigantic smile from showing and scaring her away.

'Brittany.' She warns gently.

You roll your eyes playfully. You're too happy right now to deal with her stubbornness. 'Just answer the question Santana.'

'So bossy.' Santana smirks. You quirk your brow at her and she quirks hers back. You know she's challenging you but you're not going to back down. You want to know the answer to this question more than anything in the world right now. Eventually Santana sighs and rolls her eyes at you.

'Maybe, sort of.' She mumbles.

Oh god.

Okay.

You can't stop smiling and you know Santana has noticed because she's trying to hide her own smile now.

'Okay.' You say quietly. Stay cool. She might like you. She might want to spend the rest of her life with you. No, stay focus, that's too soon.

'That doesn't change anything though.' She says, almost as if she's reading your mind. You feel that beating heart of yours start to sink a little lower in your chest.

'Of course it doesn't.' You say quietly. You had to have known that was coming. When is she going to let herself go? When is she just going to let herself be free of her own mind and her own insecurities? You are not going to hurt her, she knows that. She just needs to believe it, she still needs time.

Reluctantly you sit up in bed, tucking stray bits of hair behind your ears, and pulling back the covers.

'Where are you going?' Santana asks.

'I'm going to get changed and go out, leave you to think some more.' You explain. She needs this. She needs you to do this for her, you know she would never ask you to leave. You pull the covers away from your body and smirk when you see what you're wearing.

'Oh and Santana?' You say coyly. She looks up at you in question. 'You slept the whole night next to me while I only had panties on.' You bite your lip at her frozen face and quietly slip out of bed. 'Just something to think about.'

XXXXXXXXXXXX

The darkness surrounding you kind of reminds you of Santana's room, except in Santana's room you can't hear the chatter of drunken people, you can't hear _KittyKat _on the microphone introducing you, and you're never left by yourself to try and train your thumping heart back to its normal rhythm.

Tonight is the night.

The night you have been working towards technically for a few weeks, but you know in your heart you've been working towards this for your whole life.

Your solo performance.

Just you. Alone on the stage. You picked your own music, and Sugar took you upstairs to Joe's booth who you learnt choreographs the music and lights each night. You remembered him from that night in the apartment when Santana had her friends over. He seemed nice enough, but you don't like him.

After giving Santana time to think, and doing a little bit of your own thinking, it really didn't take you long to pick the perfect song for tonight. It's not necessarily a burlesque type song, but it says everything you need her to hear, and although tonight is about you, it needs to be about her too.

'So pleaseee wipe the drool from your face gentleman, because our next act is going to drop those mouths open. Give a warm round of applause to our newest girl…_Little Miss Sunshineeeee_!'

The curtain rises from before you and first you see the stage and the lights lining it, then the seated audience slamming their beers against the tables chanting '_Sunshine'_, and then you see the bar in a glance before the curtain is fully raised and the spot light blinds you.

You take slow and purposeful steps forward, conscious of swaying your hips sensually and getting cat calls from the audience. You step up to centre stage. Your heart is beating so damn fast. But you're not nervous anymore, it's like as soon as you stepped out onto this stage a wave of calm hit you, and all you can feel is the energy surging through the club and all you can see is this bright white light in front of you making it feel like you're all alone.

This is it.

You hope to god Santana is watching you because this is all for her.

'_Do you think about me when you're all alone?_

_The things we used to do, we used to be_

_I could be the one to make you feel that way_

_I could be the one to set you free'_

It's just you singing. You instructed Joe to only work in the beats once you got to the chorus, you need Santana to be paying attention to every single word you sing.

'_Do you think about me when the crowd is gone?_

_It used to be so easy, you and me_

_I could be the one to make you feel that way_

_I could be the one to set you free'_

The beat kicks in exactly on cue. Okay so maybe you don't completely hate Joe, at least he's not stuffing this up for you.

You search the crowd for a glimpse of Santana but you know you're not going to get one, she's behind the bar, you know she's there, so you just sing in her direction and pray that she can see you.

You feel Sugar and Stacey join you on stage, dancing behind you as the fast beat kicks in.

'_I could be the one to make you feel that way_

_I could be the one to set you free_

_I could be the one to make you feel that way_

_I could be the one to set you free'_

You take a few steps backwards, not letting your eyes waver from the bar for a second, and you go into your dance with Sugar and Stacey. They were so happy that you got the solo spot that they were grateful to be able to help. Plus they don't really like Kitty so…

'_When you need a way to beat the pressure down_

_When you need to find a way to breathe_

_I could be the one to make you feel that way_

_I could be the one to set you free'_

Santana puts so much pressure on herself, so much hope for what she should become, that she doesn't even understand who she already is. You want to be able to take that pressure away from her, you want her to be free.

'_If you never see me when the crowd is gone_

_It used to be so easy, can't you see?_

_I could be the one to make you feel that way_

_I could be the one to set you free'_

Free. She needs to set herself free.

'_I could be the one to make you feel that way_

_I could be the one to set you free_

_I could be the one to make you feel that way_

_I could be the one to set you free'_

Over and over again. If you say it enough maybe she will start to believe it. You stare at the bar, moving your hips, dipping, splitting, sliding, grinding…All without taking your eyes from the place you know is hiding the look on Santana's face. You stare at the light, wanting it to dim just a little bit, just enough so you can see if she's watching you, you just want to see her.

'_I could be the one to make you feel that way_

_I could be the one to set you free_

_I could be the one to make you feel that way_

_I could be the one to set you free…'_

The song finishes, you linger on the last word, and the lights begin to dim.

Your eyes fight to adjust to the quickly dimming lights, you need to see her. The crowd is cheering and the curtain is slowly lowering but you don't acknowledge either, you keep your eyes searching for her.

And then you see her.

It's only a glimpse but it's enough. You see her, with her arms stretched out against the bar to support herself, customers waving money in her face and waitresses leaning over the bar to pick up drinks she had long forgotten about, and she's staring back at you, ignoring everything else around her. But her face doesn't give away what she's feeling.

And then the curtain closes and you are plunged back into darkness with the insistent beating of your heart filling your fuzzy mind.

XXXXXXXXXX

You're taking off the last of your makeup when April walks into the shared bathroom, dressed in her long blue coat and black boots, she must be on her way home. You've been taking your time getting changed and everything because Beiste asked you to lock up once everyone had left. She didn't really say much else but you figured that was her way of telling you that you did a good job tonight.

'Hey Gorgeous.' She smiles. She's always so happy, it's contagious.

'Oh hey!' You say, placing your wash cloth on the sink and spinning around to face her. She giggles at you.

'Soooo when were you going to tell me you sing?' She says seductively. You know she's just playing though, well, you hope. 'You've been keeping secrets from me Miss Brittany.'

You duck your head when you feel your cheeks start to heat up. She's always complimenting you, you think you would be used to it by now.

'Well, singing isn't really my speciality, I just thought…I don't know.' You try to explain.

'Well I liked it.' She says, leaning forward to nudge your shoulder. It reminds you of Santana's little nudge she gave you last night and you smile. 'What are you doing now? You could finally make it up to me with a few drinks?'

You bite your bottom lip and try to keep your face from showing the pain that you are feeling. You can't keep doing this to April. You know now, you know for sure that you are in love with Santana and even if she doesn't love you back, you can't just keep leading April on because she makes you feel good. Even if nothing ever happens again with Santana, at least you can have the decency not to give April only a fraction of your heart, because that's all you can give her at the moment. Some sexy husky Latina is hogging the rest of it.

'April…I have to talk to you about that.' You say gently.

'Uh oh, serious face.' She jokes, but you can see the knowingness in her eyes. 'What is it beautiful?'

God. Another compliment. She's not making this easy.

'I…I don't think I can be what you want me to be right now.' You curse yourself when you realise you sound exactly like Santana sounded last night. 'There is someone else I have feelings for and I don't want to lead you on or anything…I just need to give this a shot, otherwise I'll never know, you know?'

Jesus, that sounded horrible.

'Yeah, I know Brittany.' April says slowly, you can hear the sadness in her voice and it kills you to know that you caused it. 'I'm not gonna lie, this sucks. But I get it. Follow your heart girl.'

You lift your head and meet her eyes. She really is amazing. She's beautiful, smart, kind, and funny…but she just isn't Santana, and you have no idea why that bothers you so much.

'Thanks April.' You say softly. 'I really am sorry.'

'Don't worry about it.' She winks before slowly backing towards the door. You don't want her to just leave like this but at the same time it's not like you can comfort her, there's nothing you can do now. 'I'll see you around.'

You nod your head sadly and she smiles, but it doesn't quite reach her eyes.

'Oh and Brittany?' She says before she opens the door. 'For what it's worth…Santana's a really lucky girl, I hope she realises what she's got soon.'

Your mouth drops open.

What?

How…what?

'How did you kn-'

'It's kind of hard not to see it Sweetie.' She chuckles lightly. You tilt your head to the side in confusion. See what? Was it really that obvious? 'Good luck taming the dragon, if anything can it's that cute adorable face.' April gives you one more smile, before pushing against the bathroom door. 'Bye.'

'Bye…' You breathe as you watch that auburn hair disappear, leaving a swinging door in its midst.

She knew.

She could see it.

Wait, could she see you looking at Santana? Or could she see Santana looking at you?

You want to call her back to explain but that might be a little inappropriate. You really want to know though. Argh. What was she seeing that you couldn't? Can everyone else see it?

You lean over the sink and spray cold water onto your clean face. Okay relax, it doesn't matter who thinks what. All that matters is what Santana thinks. That's all.

You leave the bathroom after calming yourself down and you do a quick scan of the club, making sure everyone has left before you lock up. You don't want to screw this up on your first night, Beiste will never let you lock up again. You're a little disappointed to see that Santana has already left. You still have no idea what was going through her mind when you were singing that song, and you really don't want to have to wait until the next time you see her, which could be tonight if she lets you sleep in her bed, or it might not be until the morning. You were supposed to open your trust fund and buy a bed today but instead you spent the much needed time practicing your performance.

When you walk out the exit door you quickly slip on the grey hoodie Santana gave you for your birthday to shield yourself from the cold night air. Mm vanilla and cinnamon. You shut the door tight and pull out the key Beiste gave you from your jeans, slipping it into the door and locking it securely. You test it a few times to make sure it really is locked. Good.

When you turn back around you freeze.

There she is again. God she makes your heart beat so fast.

The moon is shining down on her, leaning against her car in the empty parking lot, dressed in her black shorts and boots, a black leather jacket fitted over her black work shirt. She looks like something out of a James Bond movie, or maybe just anything that has sexy mysterious women in it.

You let a small smile grace your face when you see she isn't smoking tonight. She's trying.

You walk towards her, maybe even more hesitantly than the night before. You still don't know what she's thinking and her shy face doesn't really give it away. She could have waited for you to kiss the hell out of you, or she could have waited to tell you that she just doesn't want to be with you. Either way you think you're about to pass out.

'It took Beiste nearly a year to trust me enough to close up shop on my own.' Santana smirks as you walk towards her. She's smiling and teasing, this is a good sign. 'What's your secret?'

'Someone told me once that I have an innocent face.' You say with a wink and Santana chuckles, stuffing her hands into the pockets of her jacket.

'Now who could that have been?' She drawls out slowly.

'Just this girl I live with.' You shrug your shoulders, deciding to play her little game. 'She's arrogant, defensive, totally against love, and completely…' You step right in front of her until there's only a shoe's distance between you both. She looks up into your eyes and you smile. '…unpredictable.'

Santana seems to let out a breath of relief and that just makes you smile more.

'She sounds like a handful.' She jokes. You don't move from your spot and Santana doesn't either.

'She sounds kind of perfect to me.' You say softly, loving the way you can see Santana's cheeks change colour before your eyes.

'I liked your performance tonight.' She says quietly, looking down to her feet to kick a stone across the ground.

'Liked?' You tease. She looks up again and when she see's your smirk she smiles.

'I loved it.' She says. 'It's funny I've listened to that song a million times at jacks before, but I've never really heard it, you know?'

You have to suck in your lips to stop yourself from smiling too big or saying something you shouldn't.

'Mmm, what was it telling you?' You ask patiently. You stare into those deep brown eyes, made almost black by the night sky, and you wait for those beautiful lips to open and tell you what you've been needing to hear. She just has to say it. Just say it Santana. Say it. Say it.

'That it's about time I was set free.' She breathes.

It seems like she exhaled all the air in her lungs in that one sentence, and when she looks into your eyes you can see the exhaustion take over her, like she had been trying to say those words for years but it took her all this time to get them out. You can see the fear in her eyes and you want to make it go away. She doesn't have to be scared anymore, not with you, not ever.

'Well…I could be the one to make you feel that way?' You say softly, stepping ever so slightly closer until your breath is mixing in the cold air.

Santana giggles a little at your lame joke but you can still hear the uneasiness in her voice.

'What about Girl on Fire?' She says. You watch as her eyes dart between your eyes and your lips like she's not sure which one she should be focussing on.

'I don't think that's going to work out.' You say. 'Did you know she doesn't like Disney movies?'

'What?' Santana fake gasps. 'The Little Mermaid is a classic!'

'I know right?!' You laugh and Santana joins you. God, it just feels like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders, and off life in general. She likes you, she does, and that's all you need right now, just her.

When the chuckles die down, the cold air brings you both back to the reality of the situation, two girls standing out in the open and admitting that they want something more.

'Are we really going to do this Britt?' Santana asks quietly, nervously.

'I hope so.' You lean forward and rest your forehead against hers, leaning your hands against the car on either side of her waist to keep you upright. You smile when Santana lets her hands rest on your hips. 'No more running okay?'

'No more running.' She agrees. She said it through a weak breath but you believe the intent was still there. She wants this, she really does. 'Whatever happens…we've got each other right?'

You balance back onto the heels of your feet so that you can look into those eyes again, those eyes that seem like they are searching, searching for help or reassurance or safety, just searching for something concrete to hold onto, and you want nothing more than to give it to her.

'You're kind of stuck with me Santana Lopez.' You say smiling, and watch a little bit of that anxiety wash off her face. God she's so beautiful. How did you get this lucky?

'Sounds kind of perfect to me.' She smirks. It takes you a second to realise she's quoting your own words back to you.

'Stop stealing my lines.' You laugh, pushing her gently back onto the car. She giggles and nods her head to the car.

'Come on, lets go home before we freeze our tits off.'

Before she can open her car door you reach out and grab her hand, spinning her back around until her back is pressed firmly against the car, your body pressed against her front.

'Forgetting something?' You whisper with a quirked brow. Santana scrunches her face for a second and you think it's adorable that she doesn't know what you are talking about. You let your eyes drift down to her plump lips and then back to the gorgeous brown eyes again and you see the realisation run over her face.

'Here?' Santana whispers nervously, glancing from side to side like she's searching for people watching. What kind of weirdo would be lurking around an empty parking lot at this hour of the night, or morning, anyway?

You Quickly bring your hands up to softly cradle her face, stopping it from moving from side to side and making her focus back on you, making her stay in the moment, that's all she needs to do.

'No running.' You remind her.

'Okay.' She breathes.

And then you kiss her.

In your head you knew you were going to kiss her but as soon as your lips touched you couldn't really comprehend what was happening. You're kissing her again. Jesus.

The last kiss you shared you were straddling her waist and exchanging hot breaths into eachothers mouths to the background music of Britney Spears. Needless to say, it was hot. But this kiss, this kiss is different. The cold night air is chilling your body and you've only got Santana to keep you warm so you flatten against her until you can't tell where you end and she begins, and she brings her hands up under your hoodies to settle on your bare lower back. You shiver a little from her cold hands on your skin and she smiles into the kiss.

The kiss.

The way her lips move against yours, the way she angles her jaw a little to the right so that she can kiss you deeper, and the way her breath is heating your cold lips. You shiver again but not from the cold this time, you shiver because your whole body feels like you've had like a million energy drinks, or like the way your tongue feels when you eat sherbert…no that doesn't even come close to describing it, you just feel good and tingly.

Another difference is without the pounding beat of '_Slave 4 U'_ playing in the background you can actually hear Santana breathing into your mouth, you can hear the little moaning sounds she makes when you change the angle of your jaw again that you couldn't hear last time, and you can hear the way her breathing changes when you slip your tongue between her lips.

Ugh.

Your hands that were cupping her face before, start slowly sliding around to tangle through her hair. You massage her scalp gently as your tongue is busy massaging hers.

'Britt.' Santana moans into your mouth and it just makes you kiss her harder. God.

You start to feel those same desires creep back over your skin, those desires that made you grind down into Santana's lap and made you ask her to touch you for the first time, those desires that want desperately to rip her work clothes from her body right now.

'Santana?' You pull back for a breath, but with eyes closed she just follows your lips until they're smashed against hers again.

'Mhmm?' She hums into the kiss. You smile against her lips and pull away once more, this time she lets you.

'Take me home.' You breathe hotly. It wasn't really meant to sound so sexy but even you thought it sounded hot and judging by the look of pure arousal on Santana's face, she did too.

'O-Okay.'

_**XXXXXXXXXXX**_

_**Well good news is I think we all know what the next chapter will be about;)**_

_**Bad news is that I won't be able to update for like over a week:/ sorryyyy**_

_**Love you all xx**_


	20. Chapter 20

_**Goooood Morning – Afternoon – Evening – And Night:)**_

_**I hope everyone has had a week full of smileys and rainbows:)**_

_**I thought of something the other day and I figured it needed to be addressed. Can we all just give a nice slow clap to all the people out there who speak Spanish as their first language and read these fics in English please? I had no idea how many Spanish-speaking people read this story and it amazes me because **_

_**One: You guys would have to be like bilingual or multilingual to understand what the hell I'm going on about in this story, which major props to you for being committed enough to learn a different language, actually just major props to anyone who can speak more than one language, you amaze me.**_

_**Two: and this really amazes me haha. That you can read these fics that are predominantly written by English speaking people who have no idea how to speak Spanish and just use whatever google translate comes up with and put up with it! You have to put up with a lot of people attempting your language and probably failing most of the time, so I think you deserve a clap for that! (having said that there may be some Spanish in this chapter so I hope it's right…)**_

_**Weird cultural rant overrrr:)**_

_**Oh! Also it's really cool to see people adding my other fics to their favourites! Thanks guys:)**_

_**Also this chapter contains possible triggers:/**_

_**XXXXXX**_

_**iOnlyWatchTheStars: I'm funnier;)haha xx**_

_**BlueLightsM: Gracias Hermosa:)**_

_**Naynayrivers428: Hey thanks! Always nice to hear someone likes my writing:)**_

_**Sienna: hahaha I like cheesy! If you can't tell from all this stuff I write, I'm pretty cheesy myself haha. So can you read this chapter super fast because I don't want you holding your breath!;)**_

_**h-g-j-l-e-r-k: okay so I had to look up that song again on youtube because I haven't heard it in ages and dear lord…how have I not used that in my story yet?! It's perfect haha thank you:) have you been keeping anymore genius ideas from me?**_

_**whenyouhavetoday: thank you honey:) Hope to hear from you soon!**_

_**katiek28: thanks for the kind words! glad to hear I could cheer you up:)**_

_**holdmetonight: I am not from there no haha I know someone who is. Are you?**_

_**RIPCory: Hope you're feeling better! Xx**_

_**Ipsesnscastle: Tease? Me? Haha hope you like this chapter!**_

_**jjLives: Aaww thank you! It's far from perfection but I'll take that compliment anyway! Haha well I am definitely not updating hourly but I'm sure you can wait:)**_

_**Addict (Tuxedo Mask) : haha I won't stop you;) well I haven't seen the bud light commercial but I guess I have to now right? Thanks for the review :)**_

_**Ffaddict82: did the time fly?!**_

_**Kayla: So glad you liked those lines! I've had them written down for agessss and was just waiting to use them so I'm happy someone liked them! Haha**_

_**Sunofjava: why hello! I'm very sure you don't have a cold heart! And your English is amazing:) where am I from? That would be Australiaaaa:) wow I'm so thrilled you loved that paragraph! Thank you so very much! And I understand how you are not really watching glee anymore. I think I watched maybe three episodes from the last season before I gave up:( I'd rather just rewatch the first three seasons, more fun:) thank you for always being so patient with my updates you are an angel! And I am planning on bringing Quinn into the story but I'm not telling you when (Mainly because I don't know) haha.**_

_**Cido16: no I just moved back from Narnia so it's all good haha. You want to have an affair with me but wed my story? Not sure how I feel about that haha.**_

_**HeYaBrittanaLove: See, you're getting better already haha**_

_**Fernanda16: woo! Just got this when I was about to upload so I thought I would slip in a reply so you don't miss out! You made an account just for my fic? Such an awesome compliment! Thank you! hope you like this chapterrrr:)**_

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Okay so this wasn't exactly what you had been hoping for.

Well… you don't really know what you were expecting but it wasn't this. From the first night you met Santana and she was wearing nothing but shorts and a bra, standing so confidently in front of a stranger, you imagined tonight to be different than this. Even before you had met her and you spent your nights listening to the sound of her moaning from her bedroom you imagined that if you were ever given the chance, you could make her moan like that too. You imagined her to take charge, and to dominate you in as many ways as she could. What you didn't imagine, or what you didn't expect rather, was to be watching this mess unfold in front of you.

She was fine out in the parking lot when your lips were firmly attached to hers and she had nowhere to go but to kiss you back harder. But as soon as she sat in the drivers seat and pulled that door closed, you could see the fear take over her face. A fear of what? You're not quite sure, it could be many things. All you could do was try and make light conversation on the drive home, gently stroke the back of her hand in your lap, and watch the road so at least one of you were paying attention to where you were going.

Now you're standing outside your apartment door, watching Santana fumble nervously with the keys like she's never opened this door before in her life, and you don't know how you can help her. You think about reaching forward and opening the door for her but you know how stubborn she is, she'll just get mad at you when you know she's really mad at herself. So you wait patiently behind her, trying to ignore the grunts of frustration she lets out every time the keys slip from the lock, and you think about how you are possibly going to calm her down a little. You could just kiss her, but what if she turns away? You don't think your heart could take that. Talking maybe? But would she listen in this mood she's in?

You let out a soft sigh of relief when the door knob turns and she finally pushes the door open, with more force than was needed you must admit. You watch cautiously as Santana marches into the kitchen, throws her handbag and the keys on the counter, and rounds the bench in search of the fridge. Uh oh.

'Do you want a drink?' She asks over her shoulder. You shake your head.

'No, I'm okay.' You mumble quietly, upset that Santana feels the need to drink because the thought of being intimate with you is so terrifying. Is she really that scared?

Why aren't you scared?

Yes, admittedly you're a little nervous about finally being able to touch Santana and kiss her like you've been craving for since the moment you met her, but you certainly don't want to drink away the memory of her hot skin under your fingertips, or the way her lips taste, or what she sounds like when she's about to…god you need her.

'I think I'll grab one.' Santana says, pulling you from your thoughts. She opens the fridge and bends down a little to search for some alcohol, beer is all that's left you're pretty sure. You sigh loudly and follow her into the kitchen.

'Santanaaaa.' You whine and gently tug on the back of her work shirt. 'Come on, you don't need it.'

'Just one –' You pull her shirt tight until she's left with no choice but to spin on her feet and meet your lips. 'Mmm.'

Looks like your brain decided on the kissing approach without really telling you, oh well, you're not complaining.

'Come to bed.' You breathe when you release her from your grasp. You were kind of expecting a fight, but she surprises you again when she just stares at you wide-eyed and nods her head.

Good.

You take her hand in yours, kick the fridge door shut, and lead her to the bedroom. You feel your heart pound louder in your chest because you have now unintentionally taken over the lead role in tonights….well, tonights _'activities'_. Argh how are you supposed to take charge in this when you can't even say the word '_sex'_ in your head? Oh, that wasn't so hard…_sex sex sex_!

You shake your head. Focus.

You can feel your hand slipping a bit from Santana's but you're not quite sure if it's your sweat or hers that is causing this, it doesn't really matter, you know you're both nervous, and her nerves certainly aren't helping you.

You lead her into her bedroom and make the mistake of dropping her hand so you can close the door behind you. She freaks.

You watch with growing concern as she paces around her room, picking up items of random clothing and shuffling them around in her arms for a few seconds like she's attempting to fold them and then stuffing them into her drawers. What is she doing?

'What are you doing?' You ask with a gentle smile. If you look past the fact that she's nervous because of you, then this pottering around her room is all kinds of cute and adorable.

'My room is gross right now.' She scowls angrily and for a second you have to remind yourself that it's not you she is mad at. 'You shouldn't have to do_ this_ in a dirty room.'

Well at least you're not the only one avoiding the word '_sex_'. That's comforting.

'I've slept in your room before Santana, it's fine.' You reassure softly but she doesn't take notice, you don't think she even paid any attention to what you were saying.

'No it's not.' She mumbles.

You sigh dramatically, hoping to get a reaction out of her, but it falls on deaf ears. Deciding that you will just wait until she's gotten over this little fit of cleanliness she's experiencing, you take a few hesitant steps to her bed and sink down onto the mattress. And you watch.

At first she picks up her shirts one by one, you notice most of them are black, and she stuffs them into her drawer, then she stops and takes them back out again because she had forgotten to fold them. It's amusing in a way, but mostly it's just frustrating. Ever since your lips touched hers in the parking lot you have been aching to be in this bed so you can feel the rest of her, but now you have to wait for her to finish whatever the hell it is that she's doing. All you want is the Santana that can look you up and down once and have your whole body throbbing with desire, you know she's in there somewhere, she's just covered with nervous butterflies at the moment.

God, why is she even nervous?

It should be you who is nervous, the small town innocent girl moving to a new city with little knowledge of the world beyond highschool, not the sex goddess woman who demands attention when she walks the busy streets of New York City and throws out more insults than greetings. This is all so confusing.

When you snap back to the present you find Santana has started on her pants. She has an interesting way of folding them too, folds them in half…then just kind of rolls them up like a snail.

With the rate she's going at you're going to be watching her tidy all night, and that's not cool. Especially when you can still feel that insistent throb between your legs that has been there from the moment you saw her standing by her car under the moonlight in that leather jacket that makes your heart race. You need her.

'Santana…are you nervous?' You ask softly. You expected that you would startle her as she seems so enthralled in her tidying but apparently you weren't far from her mind because she answers almost instantly.

'What?' She asks and lifts her head to look at you. She's frowning and that makes you frown a little too. 'Don't flatter yourself Sunshine.'

Your heart sinks.

'Don't do that.' You say quietly. She doesn't need to do that with you.

'Sorry.' She sighs and you watch the regret cross her face. 'I'm not nervous I just…I've never done _this_ before Brittany, you know…with a girl?'

She meets your eyes for a second but looks away immediately, focussing back on folding her pants.

'What about the other night?' You say. You seem to recall quite vividly her fingers curling inside of you and making you feel like – gah stop. Focus.

'That was different, we had been drinking, we were in the moment.' She mumbles with a shrug. You've really grown to dislike those shrugs, the shrugs that mean everything and nothing at the same time. Why can't she just tell you what she's thinking?

'Santana I've never done this either, we can learn together?' you say. You really have never done this before. You've only ever been with Artie and because he couldn't move his legs it was kind of always your job to make everything happen. It's scary and exciting to think that with Santana she could take control at any moment and do things to you that Artie never could.

One thing you did learn from being with him though, was how to take control, and since now you don't really have much choice, you're glad you at least know what to do.

'God, sex shouldn't be about learning it should be about fucking sex!' Santana grunts in frustration, throwing a pair of pants roughly into her open drawer. At least she can say the word now, that's an improvement.

You sigh and grip the covers tight.

'Then stop fucking cleaning and have sex with me!' You yell exhaustedly.

Santana's movements still immediately and her hand freezes by her drawer. She slowly turns to face you and you swallow the quickly forming lump in your throat. Her eyes are wide in shock but you don't blame her for being so surprised, it's not every day you shout at her for sex…

Sensing that it's time for you to put your thoughts into action, you sit up straight on her bed, you unclasp your hands from her silk covers, and you slowly bring your hands to the hem of your hoodie. Santana holds your gaze as you grab a hold of the hoodie and the shirt beneath and slowly raise your arms to bring the garments over your head. Your heart pounds in your chest as you drop the clothing to Santana's semi-tidy floor and watch her eyes rack over your naked stomach and bra covered breasts.

'Fuck…Brittany.' Santana whispers almost inaudibly. Her body straightens up too and you feel a small smile tug at the corner of your lips. At least she's forgotten about cleaning for now.

'Stop thinking and get over here.' You say firmly, surprising yourself at how easy it is to take control when she's like this.

Santana slowly but surely walks over to you, well staggers over more like it, you're just glad she had already cleaned the floor of possible tripping hazards first. She's not really looking at you, she's looking at your boobs but that's okay because you like her looking there, it makes you feel sexy.

When she's in front of you finally, you reach your hands behind your back and unclasp your bra, letting it fall off your shoulders and to the floor. Santana's eyes go wide and you smirk.

'You can touch me Santana.' You say softly because she doesn't look like she's ever going to make a move other than stare at you endlessly.

Her eyes flicker up to yours and she's looking at you like she's asking if she really can. You nod your head and try not to giggle when her hands fly from her sides and nestle on your abs. God, how is she always so warm?

Her hand slowly creeps up your stomach, her touch is hesitant, and you really want to just grab her hands and lay them over your breasts that are aching to be touched but you can't do that, Santana needs to do this for herself.

When her warm hands finally encase your breasts you let out a quiet sigh of relief. Feels so good. You arch your back a little into her hands and Santana looks up at you, you give her a small smile and she smiles back with a blush.

'I feel like I'm fucking fifteen again.' She grumbles.

You smile wider as she softly palms your breasts. A fifteen year old Santana would be cute, you wish you knew her back then too.

'It's cute.' You say gently, hoping to keep her mood light, it doesn't work.

'God…fuck Brittany I'm not supposed to be cute right now I'm supposed to be sexy!' She growls, dropping her hands from your chest in frustration.

'You are sexy.' You say. How could she think she's not sexy? She's like the definition of sexy! Does she even see herself right now?

Santana rolls her eyes at you and you know she's not going to believe anything you say right now. You need to try a different approach. How can you get her to kiss you…without asking her to kiss you?

'Santana…' You say slowly. You had kind of been meaning to tell her this anyway but you were going to wait for a much better time. Oh well. 'I talked to Sam the other day.'

'What?' Santana's head flicks up to stare into your eyes. She obviously wasn't expecting that. 'What happened?'

'Not much, he asked me out again.' You shrug. You feel kind of bad about doing this but if it works, she won't be thinking about Sam soon anyway.

'What?!' She shouts. You flinch a little at the volume of her voice and try desperately to hide your smile. 'You said no right?'

'Maybe, maybe not.' You say slowly.

In perfect timing, Santana's eyes go wide and you see that glimmer of the girl you first met, the girl that could make your insides burn with just one look. She's back.

'Fucking Trouty, thinks he can just waltz in off the street and -' Santana grabs the back of your neck and crashes your lips to hers before she even has a chance to finish her adorable little rant.

'Mmm.' You hum into her lips. Finally.

She's kissing you so hard even if you wanted to pull away you don't think you would be able to, especially with her hand on the back of your neck continually coaxing you into her lips. She must really hate Sam…

So you let her kiss you hard, you let her hands run through your hair like they are trying to find something to hold onto, and you surrender yourself completely to the best kiss you've ever had.

When Santana finally breaks for air, only to change the angle of her jaw and reattach her lips again, you take that time to let your hands travel up her sides and clasp onto the hem of her work shirt. You tug on it gently, asking for permission and Santana hums into your mouth. You take that as a yes.

You tug her tight shirt up her body, and only until it is absolutely necessary do you pull your lips away from hers so you can quickly take the shirt over her head. You drop it to the floor and smile when her lips immediately smash back into yours. Mmm.

Slowly, you bring your hands to the small of her naked back, and when you touch her skin she moans into your mouth. You'll never get sick of that moan. You trail your fingers up her spine, and when you unclip her bra you feel her smile into your lips and you can't help but giggle a little. You glide the straps from her shoulders and let the garment fall to the floor with the other bits of clothing. Once you here it hit the ground you wrap your arms around Santana's waist and lift her from the floor. She pulls away from your lips and gasps into the air in surprise. You just giggle and spin her around so you can lay her gently down on her bed.

You take a moment to look at her like this, laying on her bed in only a pair of black shorts, her breasts bare and nipples already hard, her dark brown eyes staring at you and waiting for what you will do next. Jesus.

You can't take it anymore.

You kneel forward onto the bed, one knee between her slightly spread legs, and you attach your lips to her waiting neck. It's time to give her a hickey like she gave you, maybe you could try and make an even bigger one!

Her hot skin feels so good under your lips. She arches into your mouth just like you arched into her hands and you smile, because you know exactly what she's feeling right now. She's feeling like if she doesn't have more of you that she might just die, it's what you felt when her careful palms were massaging your begging breasts. God. You suck her skin into your mouth and breathe in her heavenly scent. Jesus. How long have you been waiting to taste this skin? You need to taste more of it.

You release the skin of her neck with a wet pop and you can't resist running your tongue over the mark you just made. Santana moans and you giggle because your lips vibrate against her throat when she moans low like that. So hot.

Slowly…very slowly…you begin to move down her body. You love the way you can feel her hands hover over your back like she's not quite sure where she can touch you, but she is letting you do what you want and that is more than you've been dreaming of for so long.

You place gentle kisses down her chest until you reach her perky breasts, and oh my goddddd. They look even better up close. You've never really thought about sucking on a girls nipple before but as soon as you see those hard brown begging nipples your mind goes blank and a second later your lips are surrounding her skin again. You think it might be a little weird sucking on another girls boobs but it's totally not, especially when Santana rakes her hand through your hair and pulls you closer to her body.

God, you really want to stay on her body like this, sucking and licking her perky boobs, but it's kind of hard to ignore the way her centre is rubbing up against your thigh. If you thought her skin was hot her centre is on fire. There's so much going through your mind and you don't know which issue to tend to first. You want to keep sucking her boobs, but you also want to lick up her stomach, you want to kiss her neck some more, and you want to feel her lips around yours again, but god you haven't even started on the legs yet and then there's the place that she wants you the most! It's all too much, you just want all of her at once! You need more hands!

You can feel Santana's growing frustration as her core rocks harder into your thigh. God, she needs you so bad. Reluctantly, you release her nipple which elicits a lovely moan from plump lips, and you kiss slowly down her tone tan stomach. You've been wanting to do this since the first night you saw her. Those abs looked like they would taste good and Jesus, you weren't wrong. When you reach her belly button you dip your tongue in a little bit and smile when Santana's muscles jerk.

'Fuck.' She breathes.

You kiss down further until you reach her shorts. Okay, this is it. You're not really sure why you got nervous all of a sudden. Maybe it's because you've never done this to another girl before? You've never like, taken off their pants so you could like…oh god. But you want to do it! Your whole body is aching for you to do it.

You sit up a little and let your hands fall onto the waistband of Santana's black shorts. You quickly undo the top button so Santana doesn't realise you're nervous but before you can even unzip them she's stopping you anyway.

'Wait!' She shouts.

Your hands still on her zipper and your eyes flick up to hers. She's looking at you like she just stopped you from electrocuting yourself or something, like she's so relieved that she had stopped you in time.

'What's wrong?' You ask, your hand resting awkwardly on her hip bone. Your whole body is practically between her legs, in fact you've sunken so low that your knees are on the floor and your upper body is leaning over the space between her thighs. You sit up a little more so you can see her properly. You watch her grunt in what you think is frustration before she falls back onto the bed and covers her eyes with her hands.

'Uhh…Can we turn off the light?' She asks with her hands still over her eyes like she's trying to hide from you or something. You tilt your head to the side in question because you really want to know what's going through her head right now.

'Why?' You ask quietly. Does she not want to see you?

'Just…please?' She begs. You bite your bottom lip because you want her to tell you what's happening but you also don't want to make her feel uncomfortable. Should you just turn off the light? But if you turn off the light then she will never tell you what she's thinking…

'Santana what's wrong?' You ask again. She sighs and moves her hands away from her eyes. She sits up on her elbows so she can see you, and she opens her mouth to speak but you beat her to it. 'Don't lie to me.'

Her mouth closes again instantly.

You can see her thinking, and you wonder if she's thinking about lying to you, or if she's trying to figure out a way to tell you the truth. Does she just not want to do this? Is she having second thoughts? Has she decided she doesn't like you? Has this all been a big misunderstanding? Does she even want to -

'I can't tell you.' She sighs. You look in her eyes and she really does look like she's sorry, but that doesn't really help the situation, you want to know why she should be sorry? What does she have to be sorry about? What is she hiding from you? There's a niggling feeling in the back of your mind that's telling you she might still be seeing Puck but you try desperately to push that thought away. She wouldn't do that…would she?

'Why?' You ask hesitantly.

Santana stares at you a moment longer, like she is still weighing up her options, and then finally she rolls her eyes with a grunt and collapses back onto the mattress. She covers her eyes again, tighter this time.

'Argh….take off my shorts Brittany.' She says reluctantly.

You want to smile but you don't really feel like this is a victory right now, something else is going on, you can feel it.

'Are you sure?' You ask quietly. Santana is silent for a moment and you just watch her chest rise and fall, her stomach muscles tense, and her lips purse together.

'Yes.' She says.

Well that was romantic.

Sighing gently, you slowly unzip her shorts, making sure to give her plenty of time to stop you again. But she doesn't, she just lies there with her hands over her eyes, like she can't wait for this to be over, and it kills you.

You gently tug on her shorts and she lifts up her hips so you can bring them down her legs. You place the shorts on the floor, and you stare open-mouthed at the sight in front of you. Jesus her legs look even longer without shorts on. Black panties, oh god. She doesn't even have a tan line, it's just tan the whole way up her leg, god. Smooth skin. You can't even stop yourself from staring at the spot that you know she wants you the most, the spot that she was rubbing against you just moments ago. Ugh.

'Say something.' She mumbles.

'Sexy.' You whisper without even intending to.

'What?'

You lift your head and meet her confused expression, she's up on her elbows again.

'What?' You ask. Were you not supposed to say that?

'Do you not…do you not see it?' She asks quietly.

You furrow your brow and look back down at her recently exposed skin. So beautiful.

'See what?' You ask. All you see is an area that you really REALLY want to touch, or maybe even kiss, maybe lick…

'The scar?' Santana says, pulling you from your daydream. Huh?

You look back down at her, blushing a little because she knows exactly where your eyes are trained, and you try and find this scar she is talking about. Nothing. All you see is sexiness, and it's blinding.

'Um…No?' You say. Was that a trick question? Your math teacher used to give you those all the time, you didn't really see the point in them. Why would you ask a question just to trick someone? That's like giving someone a bowl of ice-cream and not giving them a spoon, sure it would be fun to watch them try and eat it, but it wouldn't be very fun for the person eating it. Their hands would get all sticky and cold, there's no point in it.

You're pulled from your thoughts when you hear rustling of the covers. You look up to see Santana pulling herself up a bit until she is in a sitting position. She looks down her body and uses her hand to point to her skin.

'Right there.' She says quietly.

You follow down her arm, to her hand, until you reach the small straight pink scar that must be only half an inch long on her upper left thigh. Is that it?

'It's tiny.' You say thoughtlessly. Is that why Santana didn't want you to take off her shorts? Because of this tiny little scar?

'Well, it was a big deal at the time.' She states quietly. You're still kneeling on the ground so you look up to meet her eyes but she won't meet them. She's playing with her hands in her lap. 'When everything happened with Quinn and my parents kicked me out I just…I don't know I had heard about how people would cut themselves to release some of the pain, something else to think about right?'

You feel your whole body freeze at her words.

She cut herself?

That's what this scar is?

She did this?

Your heart pounds hard in your chest but it's not for the reason it was a few minutes ago. It's pounding because it's filled with so much love and pain that your heart doesn't know what to do with it all. You want to release it so you can breathe normal again but you don't know how. Maybe this is kind of like what Santana was feeling? Why would she do this to herself?

'And did it work?' You ask softly.

'No.' She breathes after a moment. 'I stopped because it hurt too much, and I don't really like seeing my own blood.' She chuckles dryly. You really want to kiss her cheeks right now but she looks embarrassed enough as it is, so you settle for gently stroking up and down her thighs, soothing. 'You must think I'm so pathetic.'

She said it through a little laugh but you heard the seriousness behind it. She thinks she is pathetic?

'I think you are so brave for telling me that.' You say gently, waiting until she finally looks at you before continuing. 'I'm happy you stopped, it's like a sin to hurt this beautiful tan skin.'

A giggle and a smile. That's what you get. A genuine smile, and it warms your heart, releasing some of that pain that had welled up and weighed down your chest. You still haven't gotten around to taking a photo of that smile yet, you really have to do that one day before it disappears forever.

You don't even realise you've been staring at her until she scrunches up her face and that magical smile you saw vanishes.

'God I totally ruined the mood didn't i?' She winces.

She's looking down at you with those pleading eyes and you want to say something, something supportive and something loving so she knows how much you care and how much you will always be there for her, but for now you think you could show her better than you could tell her.

Shaking your head gently at her, you let your hands continue to stroke soothingly up and down her thighs, and you lower your head to press a gentle soft kiss on Santana's exposed scar. You hear a tiny gasp escape beautiful lips and you smile. You touch your lips to her skin again.

'Brittany…' She breathes.

You glance back up to her and catch her chest heaving again, just slightly, her eyes trained on what you are doing. You smile at her, and with your right hand, you give her a loving push, making her fall back onto the bed. You want her to relax, this is for her, you want her to enjoy this. But most of all you want her to forget. She needs to forget about all the hurt and the pain that she's been carrying around with this scar. She probably looks at it every time she gets out of the shower and thinks back to all the feelings and emotions she had in the worst period of her life, but maybe if you kiss her here for long enough, those bad memories can be replaced with the good? Maybe next time she gets out or the shower and looks in the mirror she can think back to this moment, with your lips pressing to her tender skin so gently that she must barely feel it, but she knows your lips are there, and she knows it's an act of love rather than a sign of self-harm. If you can change her memories, maybe you can change her idea of what life should be? You can change what she thinks she deserves.

You place one last gentle kiss to her soft tan skin, and you lift your head, and the sight you are greeted with is one you will never forget for as long as you live, because tonight is the night Santana Lopez is finally set free.

You take a moment just to look over her goddess like figure. Her legs laying loose over the edge of her bed, her arms swimming within the silk black covers like fish moving through ocean, her eyes shut softly like the slightest wind could whisk them open again, her bare stomach and breasts presented in full view for only you to see, and a hint of a smile playing on devilish lips. It might sound weird, but it feels as though she's surrendering herself to you. She's finally letting go, she trusts you with her body, something you believe only Puck has ever successfully been granted, but even with him it was in a dark room where she could hide, here with you, she can't hide, and you thank god that she's not running. Maybe in time you can work on her trusting you with her heart.

As Santana lies peacefully over her bed you loop your fingers under the hem of her underwear, and you pause, waiting for some kind of signal that she does or doesn't want this, and then she lifts her hips ever so subtly and you tug them down her legs.

As you remove her last item of clothing you have a momentary flashback of trying to remove Santana's shorts after finding her passed out in the bathroom. She slapped you then, and at the time you thought it was a drunken reflex or that she didn't really like you, but maybe now you think it was because she didn't trust you with her body yet. Now you want to spend the rest of tonight worshipping every inch of her until she knows how truly special she is.

God.

So…very…sexy.

You take a second just to breathe because, god…She's here right in front of you waiting for what you will do next and you haven't really thought this far ahead. What do you do? Like, you know what you would do to yourself and what you like but, what does Santana like? Would she like the same thing?

Surely she would just like what you like right?

You glance back up to her to find that she's still perfectly happy, in her own little world, sprawled across her sheets and just waiting for you. So what are you waiting for?

Shrugging to yourself, you slowly lower your body until your face is level with Santana's core, and you take a slow long lick through her folds.

'FUCK!' Santana all but screams. You still your movements and whip your head back up to see her in a sitting position and watching you with eyes filled with flames. 'B-britt…no ones ever done that to me before.' She stutters.

'Okay?' You say slowly. Does that mean she didn't like it? 'Do you…do you want me to stop?'

Santana bites her bottom lip and thinks for a moment. You shuffle your knees awkwardly along her carpet a little to occupy your time, and plus your knees kind of hurt from being in this position so long.

'I…I don't know.' She eventually says. You can see her chest heaving still and you wonder if it's from nerves or from arousal.

'Did you like it?' You decide is a better question, if she didn't like it then you will definitely stop. She doesn't really say anything but ever so slowly you see a smile form on her lips and her head rock in a nod. 'Do you want me to do it again?'

She nods.

Smiling victoriously, you lower your head again and take another slow lick through Santana's folds.

'Oh mi Dios.' _(Oh my God)_

You can't help but smile when you hear the Spanish start pouring from her mouth. Seriously. Sexiest language ever.

When you lick again, you lick a little bit harder, you want to find out what she likes the best. You're greeted with the sexiest moan of all time. Oh my God. You do it again and get the same response. For some reason your mind thinks back to all the nights you've heard Santana moaning through her bedroom door, and you wondered if you could ever make her moan like that. You smile to yourself when you realise now you are, but not only that, but these moans are different. When she was with Puck it was like a perfect set of high pitched screams and low moans, but with you, right now, it's like she doesn't know what the hell she's doing anymore. It's like she no longer has any control over what she says, she's moaning and slurring Spanish and groaning and grunting and you think if she breathes any harder she might just pass out.

But you don't blame her, because fuck…if she says one more thing in Spanish you think you'll probably pass out too.

'Eres tan sexy.' _(You are so sexy) _She moans. Great.

Once again you have no idea what she's actually saying but you know it has to be good if she's moaning this much, and it must be really_ really_ good if she has to resort back to her native tongue just so she can get some words out of her mouth, that thought alone makes your legs shake and your core throb.

Jesus.

How does she taste so good?

You've never done this to another girl before but now you can't think of a reason why? Maybe because no other girl has made you this desperate, so utterly desperate that you have a burning desire to feel and see and touch and taste all of her. God, you just want to taste her forever. You can feel her arousal coating your lips, more and more, with every lick there's more and you wonder if you'll ever be able to keep up. You lick faster and feel Santana's thighs move together a little until they are pressed against your ears and locking your head in place. Without moving your tongue from her dripping pussy you loop your hands around her thighs and try to pull them away a bit, not just so you have more room, but also so you don't miss out on all the sexy things falling from her mouth. She puts up a little fight but eventually you manage to free your head from her clenching thighs.

You know she's getting close, you can feel her legs shaking beside your head, you can hear her laboured breaths, and you can see her chest rising and falling and her hands clenching the covers like she's preparing herself for lift off or something.

From the moment she showed you her scar and she surrendered her body to you, you knew tonight was about her, whether she wants it to be or not, you want tonight to be all about her, about making her feel special and loved, even If she doesn't believe it she will feel it. The insistent throb between your own legs can wait for another time. Tonight is about this amazing woman sprawled out on the bed in front of you.

Santana squirms on the covers and you know now she's getting really close. You give her one last long lick before you move up to her swollen clit. Ugh. You attach your lips to her and start sucking as soon as you make contact.

'Ugh!' She moans and tries to squeeze your head again, you smile around her clit and pull her legs apart once more.

'Mas fuerte Britt'_ (Harder Britt)_

God you really kind of wish you knew what she was saying so you know what she wants. Judging by the moans though, you think you're doing a pretty good job.

You start going between sucking on her clit and licking up all her juices, Jesus it just keeps coming. Tastes so good. Ugh.

'Eres tan Buena en eso.' _(You are so good at that)_

You can hear her breaths getting shorter and faster. You glance up for a second and catch her hands clenching the covers for dear life, her legs are shaking, and you can't see much of her face but you can see her lips opening and closing like she can't stop the moans from escaping her body. She's ready.

There's something you've been wanting to do and you figure now is the time, when she's so far gone that you could do anything and she'd only moan louder. So with little hesitation, you dip your head that little bit lower, and slide your tongue inside of her. Mmm.

'B-Brittany FUCK!' Santana screams.

Instantly you feel her muscles clench around your tongue, holding you in place, her legs squeeze your head so tight you can barely breathe and her whole body shakes against the bed and your face. Jesus that was hot.

When she finally releases your head you let your tongue slip out of her and you lap at all the cum seeping from her pussy. Mmm.

'Britt…' Santana whines exhaustedly. 'Britt, stop…please I can't..'

You give her one last long lick, before kissing her scar gently, and crawling back up her body. You lay open-mouthed kisses all up her stomach and chest until you meet her lips and you give her a long hard kiss.

'Mmm.' She moans into your mouth. You smile because you will never ever ever get sick of hearing her moan. You also will never get sick of her speaking Spanish.

'Can you say something in Spanish again?' You ask sweetly once she releases your lips. She chuckles softly and brings a weak hand up to tuck a stray piece of blonde hair behind your ear. She looks so peaceful.

'Me vas a matar algun dia Brittany.' _(You're going to kill me one day Brittany)_ She says quietly.

You smile and tilt your head to the side.

'What did you say?'

She smirks and lifts her head slightly to press a quick kiss to your lips.

'I said it's time for me to return the favour Brittany.' She winks.

You bite your bottom lip and smile. As much as you so desperately want her to do to you what you did to her, you know she's tired, and you don't want her to get all nervous again just yet, she needs to just relax and enjoy this feeling. Tonight is about her.

'Santana we've both had a big night and I know you're tired.' You say softly. 'Let's just get some sleep okay? We've always got tomorrow morning right?' You wink.

Santana chuckles breathlessly and nods her head.

'Right.' You can see her struggling to keep her eyes open and she's got such a lazy smiled painted on her face, you know she's about to fall straight to sleep, and it's sodamn adorable you just might faint.

You lean down and kiss the tip of her nose, laughing when she scrunches it up, and you crawl off the bed, leaving her to rest in her post-orgasmic bliss.

'Big spoon or little spoon?' You ask cheekily as you strip off your jeans, you can't sleep in jeans that would be way too uncomfortable.

'Big.' Santana mumbles sleepily. So adorable.

You smile and pull back the covers, tugging them a little so Santana will get the hint and realise she will have to move further up the bed to get under them.

'Argh.' She grunts, rolling over onto her stomach and crawling back up the mattress.

You both get under the covers and you smile contently when you feel Santana snuggle up against your back and drape her arm over your body, pulling you tight to her naked chest. The heat emitting from her body is amazing, it's like clothes only restrict her heat from escaping, now that there's nothing there it's like you've got your own personal hot water bottle pressed against you.

'You're always so warm.' You say softly into the silent air.

'That's because you make me so hot.' Santana mumbles. She sounds so sleepy.

You giggle and bring your hand up to cover hers, linking your fingers together so you can feel even closer to her. She makes you feel safe, and you think after tonight, maybe you make her feel safe too.

'Good night Santana.' You say. A few moments pass and you think maybe she has gone to sleep already but she says something just before you let yourself drift away.

'Te amo Brittany.' She mumbles.

'What was that?' You ask quietly. You feel soft lips touch the back of your neck and you close your eyes slowly.

'Just go to sleep Britt.'

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

_**Gotta love some awkward sex:) haha**_

_**What did we all thinkkk?**_

_**Love.**_


	21. Chapter 21

_**Sorry for being late I promise I'm not pregnant!...bad joke?**_

_**Moving on..**_

_**So someone awesome reviewed saying they saw someone had made a poster of this fic on tumblr! Whattttttt? That's awesome! I don't have tumblr, because…I don't know it's kind of like seeing a dog walk on it's hind legs…I just don't understand it. Anyway I really want to see this poster and possibly useee it? So whoever you are that reviewed, or if you are reading this and thinking 'hey I made a poster for this' , then come to me haha, or just send me the thing whatevs:)**_

_**Oh also all the people who speak a different language came out of the woodwork on the last chapter! Haha I'm starting to think no one who primarily speaks English reads this haha so cudos to all you:)**_

_**ReichReivera: wow that's super cool thanks for reviewing! Glad you love it! Now go get some sleep! Haha give my love to Germany:)**_

_**SetFireToTheRain01: happy to keep your holidays interestingggg:)xx**_

_** .java: Heyyy thanks for reviewing Hon:) great Spanish haha. I'm sorry for paralysing you haha but I hope it was worth it! Enjoy the chapter:)**_

_**RTGleek: Hellllooooo Brazil!**_

_**Journery2somewhere: I'm going to start off by saying your English is amazing! Like I honestly would not have known you're chinese if you didn't tell me! Haha amazing. Anyway thankyou for everything you said it really means a lot. Glad you liked the awkward sex haha.**_

_**Xyouaremylobsterx: best review haha**_

_**Ffaddict82: Gracias;)**_

_**Scarred4Life: wow thank you so much for telling me that honey:) I feel really bad I made you cry though:( I hope you're better now and realize how amazing you are:) I've honestly never gone through any of that stuff, but I tried to imagine what it would feel like, so I'm glad it made sense to you. thanks for reviewing. Ps fairly sure I'm not a past lover;) haha**_

_**Whenyouhavetoday: heyyy I miss you, lets talk yeah?**_

_**Camila: thank you! give my love to Chile:)**_

_**Katiek28: Thannks! Glad you liked the awkward sex! Haha I felt awkward just writing it!**_

_**FJ: hey thanks for the love:) glad that I could do that scene a little bit of justice. Hope you like this chapter:)**_

_**Girl-otaku: YEAH SHE DID! Haha**_

_**Hotncolds: thanks Leticia:) Brazil? Cool! Hope you don't nearly faint on this one! Haha**_

_**XXXXXXXXXXXXX**_

You wake up with the chill of the morning New York air hitting your naked skin. You scrunch your face up in annoyance and pull the covers over your shoulders to shield yourself. Where has your hot water bottle gone?

You're too tired to peak your eyes open and look for her so you just reach your arm out and swish it through the silk covers, trying to find Santana's warm body. You smile when the back of your hand brushes against something smooth and warm. Without opening your eyes you shuffle along the bed until you can wrap your arm across her stomach and mold into her side. Mmm warmth.

You feel her stomach contract when you pull her tight against your chest and you can't stop your eyes from opening. She's smiling, but her eyes are still shut. The covers are draped perfectly across her chest, just covering her nipples which you know are bare. God.

'You're staring.' She giggles. You feel her stomach move again when she laughs and you smile.

Shuffling closer a little bit, you place a gentle kiss to her shoulder and feel the air escape from her chest. You can't believe you got to kiss so much of this skin last night, her lips, her chest, her abs, her thighs, her…Jesus….and the Spanish? Ughhh.

'Say something in Spanish.' You say groggily, cursing your morning voice. Why does she sound so sexy in the morning and you sound like an old woman run down with the flu?

'Why?' Santana chuckles. She opens her eyes and looks at you and your voice catches in your throat for a second. Eight hours without looking into those eyes kind of makes you forget how alluring they are.

'I want to learn something.' You say slowly, still trying to recover from the look in her eyes.

'What do you want to learn to say?' She asks. The way she's smiling at you is so damn adorable. Her eyes are still sleepy, her smile is lopsided because she hasn't fully woken yet, and you can see the outline of one of her dimples trying to break through her smile.

'Say…Adorable.' You say softly. You want to be able to compliment her in her own language.

You watch Santana bite her bottom lip and giggle breathlessly.

'Adorable.' She giggles.

'No, in Spanish Santana.' You roll your eyes at her.

'Adorable _is _adorable in Spanish Britt.' She chuckles.

Oh.

Well that's confusing…

You feel a blush cover your cheeks but you ignore it.

'Oh…Well, what does _Te amo _mean?' You ask. You vaguely remember Santana saying it last night but you were too sleepy to persist her in what it meant.

'What?' Santana asks.

'You said that last night.'

'No I didn't.' She says quickly. You turn your head a little to get a better look at her. She looks kind of shocked and you don't know why.

'Yes you did.' You say. You might have been sleepy but you remember her saying it.

'I was sleepy Britt, I didn't know what I was saying.' She says quickly. 'It probably wasn't even Spanish.'

'Sleepy language?' You smile. 'I do that sometimes too. Dad got pretty good at learning my sleepy language. Like if I said _hiss ight_? It meant _kiss good night?_'

You watch Santana's shocked expression melt away into a gentle smile. 'Well, now I know what you want when you say that.'

'Hiss ight?' You say with a devilish smile.

'It's morning Britt.' She smirks.

You frown and scrunch your brow up. That's true. 'Hiss goo orning?'

Santana smiles softly and cranes her neck to reach you. She's so cute when she's tired. You help her by pulling her a little bit closer and extending your neck up to kiss her soft lips. Mmmm. Vanilla and cinnamon.

She tries to pull away but you don't let her, you need more. Tangling your fingers in the hair draping over the back of her neck, you coax her back to your lips. You smile into the kiss when she follows without hesitation. Her bottom lip slips between yours and you suck it gently into your mouth, closing your eyes at the heavenly sound of Santana moaning. You'll never get sick of this.

You pull her even closer and this time she has to turn onto her side to face you because she has nowhere else to go. Her breasts push up against yours and your breath catches in your throat. Jesus. She's so hot.

You drag your hands from the nape of her neck down her arm, over her ribs and down her side. You smile when you get to her hip and realize you still haven't come into contact with any clothing.

'You're naked.' You giggle when she breaks for air. Santana smirks and traces her own hand down your body. You feel your skin prickle as her fingertips graze your bare skin. Ugh. When she reaches your panties she loops her index finger inside them and pulls them slightly towards her.

'You are semi-naked.' She says, snapping the garment back to your skin. 'So I've updated the no-shirt rule…'

'Oh yeah?' You quirk your brow, not bothering to hide the massive smile spreading from cheek to cheek.

'Hmm no pants either, or underwear.' Santana smirks devilishly.

'And what if I don't follow those rules?' You ask, but you already know you will. Just the thought Santana wants you naked all the time, whenever you're in her room, makes your heart race a million miles a minute.

'You don't get to sleep in my bed.' Santana wagers. She's still smirking and you know she's challenging you, and you want to challenge her back but this is just one of those things that you don't have the strength to fight her on, you want it too.

'Really?' You tease further.

'Yep.' She giggles.

You bite your bottom lip and shrug your shoulders. 'Well I guess I have no choice then.'

Carefully, you go to work at edging your underwear down your legs. Santana can't really see what you're doing under the covers, that explains the weird look she's giving you, she probably thinks you have ants in your pants or something. She'll find out soon. If you can just get them off your ankle…argh.

'What are you doing?' Santana asks curiously. She said it so slow you think she might actually already know what you're doing but you don't give her any confirmation. You reach your hand down and unhook your panties from your ankle and bring them back through the covers. You only just catch Santana's eyes go wide as you throw them onto the floor. 'Oh fuck, Jesus.'

'Better?' You ask simply.

Santana stares at you with wide eyes. Her mouth opens and closes quickly as she struggles to get enough air into her lungs.

'Better.' She coughs awkwardly.

God, she's so cute.

You're leaning forward to give her a well-deserved kiss on the lips when suddenly the room is filled with an insistent buzzing.

'Shit.' Santana growls. She moves sluggishly to pick up her phone but you grip her hip just in time, pulling her back towards you.

'Don't answer it.' You whisper, and kiss her before she has a chance to argue. She doesn't put up a fight.

When the sound finally vanishes you take that moment of relief to guide your tongue into Santana's mouth, and let your hands wander back down her body.

'Mmm.' She hums as your hand runs down the expanse of her lower back. You can't believe you get to do this. How are you this lucky? You have this amazingly sexy Goddess next to you in bed, and you get to touch her and kiss her and…

Damn phone!

The buzzing fills the air again and you release a slow growl into Santana's mouth. Whoever is calling better have a damn good reason for interrupting your make out session!

'Argh.' Santana groans and pulls away from your lips. You pout in disappointment. This morning was supposed to be your turn, Santana was supposed to return the favour from last night. Not that she has to or anything, but she said she would, and you kind of have been hanging out for this moment. Your birthday night was just a sample of what she is capable of, and you need to know more.

Santana rolls in the opposite direction along the bed and reaches her arm out, grabbing her phone of her bedside table violently and bringing it back with her. You watch as she fiddles with the screen before placing it on her pillow.

'What?' She says in frustration as she shuffles back over to you. You're not quite sure who she is talking to because she's not really looking at you and you didn't say anything. Is she okay?

'Don't sound so excited to hear from me Miss Lopez.' You hear a loud voice shoot through her phone. Your eyes flick back to Santana in time to catch her smirk before she pushes you back to the bed and rolls on top of your body. Oh God you can feel everything. So hot.

'What do you want Beiste, I'm already working tonight so I know it can't be that?' Santana says before lowering down to start kissing your neck. Jesus. Your hands fly to her side to keep her steady on top of you. You're pretty sure you've never heard somebody talk to Beiste like this before, all the other girls seem to be just as scared as you are of her.

'I need you to come into the club today.' Beiste voices through the phone. You can hear a distance rustling of paper so maybe she is in her office?

Santana sucks the skin of your neck into her mouth once before letting it go with a loud pop. You hope Beiste didn't hear that.

'What?' Santana breathes. You're not sure whether she's breathing like that because she's angry or because she aroused but either way it's super hot. 'Why?'

'Found someone to replace Puckerman, I need you to come in and train her.'

'Get Ashlea to do it.' She growls before attacking your neck again. Shit. You just lie there, completely content with letting Santana ravish your neck, you're too busy concentrating on the fact that you can feel her breasts move against yours when she lowers herself onto you, and you can feel something very warm on your lower stomach. God.

'Ashlea will train another Ashlea, what I need out there is another Santana. Someone who doesn't cry when a drunk says they can't pour beer for shit.'

'Yeah well I'm busy today.' Santana answers angrily. She's so hot when she's angry.

'Fine, enjoy working with a new Ashlea.' Beiste voices. You can hear the smugness in her voice and if you weren't so preoccupied with being pleasured, you'd probably frown at her.

Santana stops for a second and you look up to see her eyes squeezed shut.

'Fuck.' She curses loudly. You hear a low laugh come from her phone and it drawls your attention.

'Be there in an hour, she's meeting you there.' Beiste explains quickly.

'Whatever.' Santana breathes. For a second you think that she has hung up and you crane your head to capture Santana's lips once more but you freeze when you hear her deep voice once more.

'Oh and can I speak to Brittany?'

Santana's body tenses against yours. Her lips are still puckered like she is about to kiss you but she's stopped half way there.

'What?' She says after a moment of silence. Does Beiste know you're here? In her bed? Oh God can she hear you kissing her?

'She's your housemate isn't she?' Beiste continues. 'I assume you two actually talk outside of work, or is that too much for you Satan?'

Santana lets out a heavy breath of air that skims across your face.

'Um…' Santana looks down to you like she's searching for some magical answer, you want to give it to her but you don't know what she needs. 'She's not home right now.'

Oh.

'Okay well tell her she did good last night, I'm putting her on as a permanent solo act.'

Santana's look of relief slowly turns into a proud smile as she gazes down at you. It warms your heart to see someone look at you like that again, you haven't seen a look like that in a while.

'I will.' She states quietly, you know it was only meant for you.

'Don't forget, one hour Santana I'm serious, no rocking up two hours later.' Beiste warns. 'We need this girl.'

'Got it Boss.' Santana smirks as she leans down to capture your lips once more. You close your eyes as soon as her soft lips touch yours. There's some rustling on the pillow next to you and you really hope it's Santana turning off her phone because there's a high chance you might start moaning soon and you really don't want your new boss to hear that.

Santana's lips leave your lips and begin trailing down the side of your face, across your jaw, down your neck. God.

'Santana we have to go.' You breathe. If she keeps going like this you're definitely not going to make it to the club in time to meet with this girl, and you don't want Santana to get in trouble from Beiste because you got too aroused by her kisses. Mmm they do feel good though, maybe a few more minutes…

'We?' Santana asks as she pops her head up from your neck. She's quirking her brow and it takes you a second to realize that you just assumed you were going with her to the club. Does she not want you to? Well Beiste did only ask her to go…But you don't want to hang around the apartment by yourself for ages, Santana could be hours what are you supposed to do for all that time without her?

'Well, can I come?' You ask hesitantly. Santana's eyes go wide and you feel your face flush with embarrassment. Shit, stop smothering her, she doesn't want you to come. You squint your eyes shut and try to forget what you just said asked but Santana's little giggle pulls you back to the present. You open your eyes to see her smirking down at you with those playful brown eyes. 'What?'

'Sorry, just…Wanky.' She whispers. You smile and feel even more heat rise to your cheeks. You finally figured out what she means when she says stuff like that but you haven't told her you know that yet, you want to surprise her one day and watch the look on her face. 'Of course you can come, but it's going to be pretty boring.'

You shrug your shoulders up as far as you can with Santana still lying on top of you and you smile. It doesn't matter how boring it will be, as long as you're with her.

'I'm cool with that.'

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

After dragging a very reluctant Santana out of bed and changing into a pair of dark blue jeans and Santana's grey hoodie, you hop into her car and drive to the club. You didn't miss the way she smiled when you slipped her hoodie over your white tank top.

You're still kind of sleepy from getting up so early and you think Santana must be too because she keeps yawning. She looks really cute in her black short shorts and her oversized red and blue _'Dalton Grammar Volleyball Ravens'_ shirt. The shirt is so big on her small frame that when she stands you can hardly tell she's wearing shorts at all, and her hair is still all messed up from sleep that – wait…

Dalton Grammar?

That's a school near Lima…

An all Girl's school.

Could she…

'Santana?' You ask quietly. Santana's eyes flicker to yours quickly before leaning forward and turning down the radio.

'Yeah Britt?'

'Um…' God this is going to sound silly. 'Santana, where are you from? Like…where did you grow up?'

You watch her eyes flicker from you to the road and then back again before she finally answers. It's kind of weird that you hadn't discussed this before since you know a lot of other stuff about each other, but you never thought to ask where she's from, probably because you just assumed she came from somewhere far away, somewhere you had never been before.

'Ohio.' She says simply. 'Why?'

Your heart stops. 'L-Lima Ohio?'

She looks at you a little weirdly before turning her eyes back to the road and nodding her head. 'Uh, yeah?'

What? How is this happening?

How…

How have you been living your whole life so close to her and not even knowing it? Not even understanding how close you were to being truly happy.

'I come from Lima too.' You say quietly. You watch Santana patiently and wait for the information to process in her mind. When it clicks, her eyes go wide and flick back to yours.

'You're from Lima?' She all but shouts.

'Yep.' You giggle, it's kind of funny watching her face change, she doesn't really look like she's knows what emotion she should be feeling right now. Kind of like how you feel.

'Well…that's weird.' She says quietly. 'We could have met each other and not even known it Brittany.'

'I think I would have remembered meeting you.' You say thoughtlessly. Only realising what you said when you catch the small smile on Santana's face. Oh, that was kind of cheesy…Oh well.

'Well, I think it's good we didn't meet earlier, you wouldn't have liked me very much then Britt.' She sighs. 'Well, actually I don't really know how you like me now either…but if it's possible I was even bitchier in highschool.'

'I don't think you would have liked me very much either… I kind of just hung around by myself…'

God, imagine if you met her when you were in school. She definitely wouldn't talk to you, she would have hung around with all the cool kids, and you would be sitting outside your classroom door eating lunch by yourself and waiting for the bell to ring. She'd think you were such a loser…

You wait a moment for her to say something back but she doesn't. You are almost giving up on the fact that yes she does think you're a loser, but then you feel her right hand creep over the console and cover the hand you have resting on your thigh and your heart skips a beat. She's still watching the road so carefully you just flip your hand over and link your fingers with hers, not saying a word, and drive the rest of the way silently holding hands. It was a simple gesture, but the feel of Santana's hand covering yours warmed your whole body. You wish you had this in highschool, if you could have felt Santana's hand in yours for just one minute of each day at school, you probably could have gotten through the whole day with a smile.

When Santana pulls into the parking lot her hand leaves yours to put the car in park and you frown a little at the loss of warmth, you pull your hoodie over your hands to warm them up again. Maybe you can hold her hand again when you get out of the car?

'That must be her.' Santana says as she turns off the car. You shift your eyes to the direction she's looking and spot the girl leaning casually against the 'Staff Only' door.

You squint a little to get a better look at her through the car window, and you find yourself frowning when you realize how pretty she is. That's not the normal reaction you have when you see a pretty girl, but for some reason now you know Santana is watching her too, you already don't like her. She's wearing a short black skirt, showing off her good legs, and a white button down shirt. At least she came dressed for the job. She could have put her long blonde hair up though, it's not very professional to have it down when you are serving drinks…then again Santana never really follows those rules…

'She's pretty.' You say quietly, you surprise yourself with how much bitterness was in your voice.

'Yeah.' Santana says casually as she opens her car door. You follow reluctantly, a little upset she didn't argue you on that.

You slam the car door a little harder than necessary and follow slowly behind Santana, she looks a little too eager to meet this girl and you don't like it. The closer and closer you get to the girl you can see just how beautiful she is and it makes the crease in your forehead grow bigger. She looks about the same age as you, her hair is long and blonde with brown roots, she looks just shorter than you but she has heels on so that makes her look taller, and the first thing that hits you when she looks up and sees you walking towards her is her piercing blue eyes. Jesus. Your parents always went on and on about how beautiful your eyes are and how lucky you are to have them, but you think now they only said that because they hadn't seen this girls eyes…

They are blue but not like yours, these are like turquoise or something, they almost didn't look real they sparkled so bright.

'Hey, are you here for the training?' Santana asks as she approaches the girl. You watch as she pops herself off the door with her foot and takes a casual step forward.

'I am.' She smiles. Oh God, dimples…perfect white teeth. You feel yourself glare at her unintentionally as she reaches out her hand for Santana to shake. 'You must be Santa?'

Santana rolls her eyes and takes her hand. You hold your breath and count the seconds they were touching. Three.

'Santana, I'm assuming you talked to Beiste?' Santana sighs.

'Yeah well I spoke to a girl named Kitty on the phone, so she set this meeting up for me.'

'Of course she did the skanky bit-' You step forward and nudge Santana slightly in the ribs. It's not nice to curse in front of new friends.

'Fuck, uh, this is Brittany my…' Santana looks at you and you can sense her hesitation. It takes you a moment to realize exactly why she is hesitating. Oh. You haven't really talked about that yet have you? Are you dating now? Is she your Girlfriend? Oh God, just the possibility of Santana being your girlfriend makes your heart race and your palms sweat. You can see her internal panic and you wish you could help her but you can't, and you kind of want to know what she thinks you are to her too. '…Housemate.'

Housemate?

Girlfriend? No.

Lover? No.

Best friend? No.

Friend? No.

She went for housemate? Is that all you are to her? No, you have to be more than that…you can't believe that. Can you?

You can feel Santana's eyes on you but you ignore them, instead you focus your attention on the pretty girl you're being introduced to.

'Okayyy.' The girl says slowly, probably sensing the awkwardness. She reaches out her hand and you take it. 'Nice to meet you Brittany.' She says sweetly. 'Oh wait…Are you Little Miss Sunshine?'

You're about to shake your head no but then you remember, oh yes, that is you.

'Yep.' You say proudly.

'You killed it last night!' She says excitedly. You're a little shocked by her enthusiasm, no one's ever really been so excited to meet you before. This girl is kinda making it really hard for you not to like her. 'I came in to see how everything goes down in this joint, and wow like…You're good.'

'Thanks.' You say shyly. Damn it she's really nice.

'Lets get inside before we freeze our tits off.' Santana says as she steps past the girl and takes out her keys to unlock the door.

'It would take a lot to freeze these puppies off, but lets.' The girl shrugs. Santana's too busy to take much notice of her comment but you find your own eyes drifting down to her chest and wow…she does have very nice uh…puppies?

Oh God look away before she sees you looking. You look up quickly and see Santana open the door, she pushes it open wide enough for the girl to get through and you follow.

'Britt can you get the door?' Santana says over her shoulder as she walks towards the bar. You frown and close the door behind you, with the housemate thing and now this? What happened to the nice Santana you were talking to in the car, the one that wanted to hold your hand?

'So do you have any experience in bartending?' She says as the girl follows her behind the bar. After closing the door you just walk up to the bar and take a seat on one of the stools. You've never really been fully behind the bar before, you'd like to, but for some reason you feel you need to give Santana a little space for the moment.

'Yeah I've been doing it for a year now, I've just kind of been cruising around the bars when I can find work.' She expIains. 'I go to college during the week so it's awesome to have a night job.'

'Okay all that you just told me, never say it to Beiste.' Santana says as she leans against the bar bench, her back facing you. 'The words '_cruising around'_ and '_College_' are not in her vocabulary. If you work here you work here, as far as she knows you don't have a life outside of this place, got it?'

'Got it, thanks for the tip Santa.' The girl says with a smile. 'Santana!'

Santana rolls her eyes playfully at the girl and you find yourself frowning even harder. She doesn't seem to be interested in this girl but she also isn't being mean to her so she must like her a little bit, if anyone else called her Santa…bad things would happen. Maybe it's just because this girl is so playful and sweet? Honestly you're really finding it hard not to like her.

'How are you with your cocktails?' Santana asks her.

'Good.' She nods confidently.

'Okay, well we'll start off with a Pina Colada.' Santana says slowly, she bumps off the bench and walks to the cabinet of drinks lining the back wall. She picks up a bottle and shakes it a little once she feels the weight of it. 'Where's all the white rum? It's empty, fucking Ashlea. Uh I have to go to the store room, Britt can you tell…Shit, what's your name?'

Santana looks at the girl and she laughs. Oh you didn't ask her name when you introduced yourself to her! That was really rude, now you feel kind of bad for the girl. She doesn't seem too fazed though.

'Kira.' She says with a cheeky smile. There are those dimples again. Wow.

You look back to Santana and she nods at you.

'Tell Kira about how this place works?' She asks.

'Sure.' You say. It's not like you would say no, that would be even ruder. Although you're not really sure what you could tell her about the place anyway…

When Santana goes around the corner into the storeroom you turn your attention back to Kira.

'Kira, like off the Lion King?' You ask.

'That's Ciara Sweetie.' She smiles with a wink.

'Right.' You feel your face heat up again so you distract yourself by swinging a little bit on your stool. 'Um, so what do you want to know?'

Kira looks at you for a moment, and you watch curiously as her eyes drift over the top of your head and to the stage. You see the look in her eyes, it's the same look you had whenever you saw a stage like that, the look of an entertainer yearning to be up on that stage, to belong to the stage.

'How do I get up there?' She says quietly, not taking her eyes off the empty stage for a moment.

'You dance?' You ask knowingly. She shakes her head softly.

'I sing.' She smiles and finally takes her eyes away from the stage, shaking her head again, like she's grounding herself back to the moment. 'Well, I'm trying, it's kind of hard getting gigs, but I love it.'

You can see the passion in her alluring turquoise eyes but even more than that you can feel it radiating from her, she loves to sing, and she wants to be up on that stage. You feel so blessed that you have been given the opportunity to be up there dancing, Santana gave you that chance, so maybe you can give this girl a chance?

'Right, um well I'll keep my ears open for any talk they're looking for a new girl.' You say sweetly. Yep, you definitely like this girl. Even if this beautiful girl is going to be working alongside Santana all night every night, at least you're friends now, she wouldn't like try and hit on Santana or anything if you're friends right?...

Oh you don't even know if she likes girls, just relax…

'Really?' Kira squeals and bounces on her toes. You're scared for a second because you remember she's in heels but she seems to handle it well, she must have really good balance or something. 'Thanks Brittany!'

'No problem.' You smile.

Suddenly a loud buzzing fills the air and you are instantly reminded of this morning, and Santana's phone interrupting a very intimate moment.

'Oh , sorry.' Kira apologises as she pulls out her phone from her bra. You blush and look away because you don't want her to think you were looking at her boobs. That would be embarrassing. She lights up her screen and smiles that big teeth and dimples smile down at the message. 'Oh it's Janisha!'

Janisha?

Are you supposed to know who that is?

'Your friend?' You say thoughtlessly, you're kind of wondering what's taking Santana so long. Kira looks up with a smile and runs her hand playfully through her hair.

'Girlfriend, Love of my life, Soulmate… Take your pick.' She giggles before looking back down to her phone. Girlfriend? Wow…okay maybe you are a little nervous leaving her around Santana all night. No, don't be silly, she has a girlfriend and she is clearly hopelessly in love with her. It'll be fine. 'Aw she can't come over tonight.' She frowns. 'Boo, what am I supposed to do for the rest of the night if I can't see her?'

'If all goes well maybe you'll be working tonight?' You say hopefully. That puts the smile back on her face.

'True!' She says excitedly.

You both hear the back door open and close, and Kira carefully shoves her phone back down her top before Santana rounds the corner with a bottle of rum in her hand.

'Found it, had to write out an order form too because we're nearly out of triple sec. Another thing fucking Ashlea didn't do last night.' She growls.

'Santana…' You say warningly.

'What?' She asks innocently. She looks like a little kid that's just been asked where all the cookies went. 'She's useless.'

'You were working last night too.' You say pointedly and hear Kira chuckle.

'Whatever.' Santana shrugs and walks towards Kira before placing the bottle on the bench in front of her. 'Okay there is your white rum, glasses are above your head, ice and shaker are to your left, and the coconut cream and pineapple juice is in the fridge behind you. Show us what you got.'

'Cool.' Kira nods and gets to work. You watch her for a moment, she looks really relaxed as she goes about making her drink, she doesn't appear nervous at all and you kind of wonder where she gets all that confidence from. You wonder if Santana likes confidence in people…

No she has a girlfriend, she's super sweet, it's fine.

Your attention quickly turns to Santana when you hear her shaking something up in one of the shakers. She had been working away at something to your left but you were too busy watching what Kira was doing to notice. You're still kind of upset about the whole _'housemate'_ thing so you don't really want to show her too much interest.

But that mood quickly fades when you watch Santana pour an icy pink drink into a martini glass and hand it over to you with a smile.

'What's this?' You ask curiously, eyeing the drink with a smile. You can't help it, when she smiles, you smile, it's a reflex.

'Frozen strawberry and vanilla vodka martini.' Santana explains proudly. 'It tastes just like a slushie, you'll like it.'

You smile and bring the drink closer to you. How are you supposed to stay mad at her when instead of watching Kira like she's supposed to be doing, she's was busy making you a drink?

Santana watches you intently as you bring the drink to your lips and take a slow sip. She licks her lips as soon as the glass touches your mouth and it makes you smirk. You take a sip, and it really does taste like a slushie!

'Yum!' You say happily and quickly take another sip. Santana smiles softly and makes herself busy by cleaning up her mess. You don't know how she always knows what drinks you will like, maybe she thinks about this stuff when she works? Does she think about you when she's working? Maybe you could ask her later…No, that would be weird. You shake your head gently to yourself.

'So, how long have you two been together?' You hear Kira ask and you just about spit your drink out of your mouth. Shit.

You look at her quickly and see she's got that adoring look on her face and it makes you wonder how long she was looking at you and Santana for. Her Pina Colada sits perfectly made on the bench and you blush because she must have been finished for a while…

'What?' You hear Santana ask sharply.

You look down at your drink and try to count. How long have you been together for? Do you count from your kiss last night in the parking lot or from last night in bed?...

'Like 14 hours?' You say. Is that right?

'What?' Kiras eyes go wide and yours do to, wondering what you did wrong.

'What?!' Santana shouts. 'Brittany!'

Your eyes snap nervously back to Santana

'What?' You say quietly.

Silence.

The air grows thicker as your eyes shift nervously back and forth between the two girls. Santana looks like she's about to pass out and Kira just looks confused. Oh shit.

You want to say something but you don't know what you could say to make this situation easier. You know you practically just admitted to Kira that you and Santana are together but she has a girlfriend so she won't care. Oh…but Santana doesn't know that…

'AWKWARD!' Kira shouts playfully.

The unexpected shout breaks the silence and Santana's face seems to relax slightly, but only slightly.

'Brittany…' She whispers. The way she said your name almost breaks your heart, because you know she's hurting inside, you just hope she doesn't feel betrayed, because that would kill you.

'Look girls, chill out, obviously you two have some shit to sort out.' Kira states casually. 'I can feel the sexual tension from here, it's kind of hot.'

'Uh that looks good.' Santana says quickly, pointing thoughtlessly to the drink on the bench. 'You can start tonight, come in at six and wear black.'

'Got it.' Kira replies slowly, watching as Santana walks past her and out from behind the bar, grabbing her keys off the counter as she goes. 'Well, obviously that's it then.'

Kira jokes and winks at you. You feel kind of bad for her, Santana shouldn't be acting like this, but it is kind of your fault…

Guessing that you will just have to leave the yummy drink there for Santana to clean up later tonight at work, you leave it on the counter and follow Kira out the door.

'Where's your car?' You ask once you get back out into the parking lot. You look around as Santana locks the door but you only see Santana's run down car.

'Oh my flatmate is coming to pick me up, I'll text her she shouldn't be far.' Kira says, pulling out her phone from her shirt again.

'Oh, we will wait with you then!' You say, you can't just let her wait here by herself in an abandoned parking lot. It's New York!

'She's a big girl Britt, she can wait by herself.' Santana sighs as she walks past you and storms towards the car. Shit. She's mad.

You should probably follow her, but you don't. You don't want to be around her when she's acting like this, and you really don't want to leave Kira alone.

Taking a deep breath, you look away from Santana, and lean back against the side of _Beauty and the Beiste._

'So what's with her?' Kira asks, placing her phone back down her shirt. 'Why is she being so Snakey?'

Snakey? You don't really know what that means but you figure it means whatever the hell Santana is doing right now, just…being weird maybe?

'I don't know.' You say softly, you really don't. You have no idea what is going through her head right now.

'Hey, um after work tonight, you guys should come over to my apartment.' Kira suggests. 'It might make it easier to talk it out if you've got someone who has already been through it all with you?'

It takes you a moment to understand what she means by 'been through it all' but when you do you nod your head. That's a really good idea. If Santana knows that she can act normal with you around someone like Kira then maybe she will be more comfortable around other people in time?

'That sounds great, I'll talk to Santana about it.' You smile. You're really glad you came with Santana to the club today.

Looking back over at her car you sigh when you see Santana sitting in the drivers seat, drumming her fingers impatiently against the steering wheel and probably trying really hard not to look over here. She's blasting music through the speakers, making you roll your eyes just in time to catch the black BMW driving into the parking lot.

'Awesome!' Kira says. 'Oh there's my ride.'

Your eyes follow the BMW as it decides to park across two parks. You can't really see the driver through the tinted windows but you wave anyway.

'Yeah she's not a waver.' Kira chuckles as she walks past you. 'Thanks for waiting, see you tonight Brittany!' She yells over her shoulder, her blonde hair swaying in the wind. 'And talk to Snakey!'

'I will!' You shout back. 'Thanks Kira!'

You watch as she hops into the passenger side of the BMW and closes the door. Such a sweet girl, and so pretty, if you weren't so hopelessly in love with another stubborn girl you might actually have a crush on her. Maybe you can count her as another friend you've made in New York!

Speaking of…

You draw your eyes back to the grumpy woman drumming her fingers tiredly against the steering wheel, and staring out into space. You can almost see the frown marks from where you're standing. But instead of dreading walking to the car and having to suffer through awkward silence for the car ride home, all you can think about is how you can't wait to hold her hand in the car again and kiss those frown marks away until those cute little dimples push through her cheeks.

You don't know how she does this to you.

So stubborn.

But you're kind of hopelessly in love with her.

XXXXXXXXXX

_**We will get to see them develop as a couple more next chapter:)**_

_**This chapter was dedicated to the cutest of cutest couples K & J (they know who they are;)**_

_**Love.**_


	22. Chapter 22

_**Hey there sexyyyy;)**_

_**Okay has everyone seen the cover art for this fic now? It's amazing:) it's by ohvalerievalerie on tumblr! Thanks honey! And thanks for everyone who sent me links!**_

_**Fruith: two reviews? Score! Haha thank you so much, glad you're enjoying it!**_

_**Littlebritt: haha your English was great! I'm so happy you are liking it:)hope I don't disappoint xx**_

_**Nayalove: two days? I believe you are the awesome one;)**_

_**Zurrli: she might…**_

_**FJ: I'm predicting like seven chapters left? Maybe more, maybe less who knows haha**_

_**Ig4az: You're perfection!**_

_**Xyouaremylobsterx: yayy! I love your reviewsss:) hope you like this chapter I think it's slightly longer than the last, but yeah I don't know haha enjoy!xx**_

_**BlueLightsM: heyyy youuuu:) yes I did miss you haha. Don't worry about things with your girl, I'm sure everything will work out in the end:) and I knew you liked my joke;)xx**_

_**Kot011: haha no need for the side eyes! no hating on Kira she's a beautiful soul:) thanks for the reviewww xx**_

_**Hemorivera16: haha I'm not going to abandon this, I'm determined to finish this fic! Even if it takes me monthssss**_

_**BrittzTana: Thanks again! And thanks for the review:)**_

_**Lamerhyme: I know haha I'm holding my breath, if I get to 1000 reviews I might just faint.**_

_**Katiek28: aw I'm sorry you had a bad day, but I'm glad I could help a little!:) thanks for the review I hope this week has treated you well:)**_

_**Lois Lane: waffles suck:)**_

_**XXXXXXXXXXX**_

When you get in the car it takes you all of two seconds before you've broken Santana's bad mood. Apparently bumping your head on the frame of the car as you were leaning down is hilarious, maybe if her car wasn't so low to the ground you wouldn't have to bend down so far! Still…at least you got to see those dimples again, and it didn't hurt that you pouted so much that she leaned over and kissed your forehead where you hit it. Totally worth it.

After that she was in such a happy mood that she didn't even complain when you asked to swing by the bank to open your trust fund. But she did get a little grumpy again when you decided that you would use some of your $10,000 to buy yourself a proper bed, she wasn't happy about that at all.

'Britt you don't need a beddd.' Santana whines, dragging her feet behind her like a little kid as you set the pace through Mattress Kingdom. She's been complaining about this since you left the bank, at first it was subtle comments, but now she's practically begging you not to get a bed. It's kind of cute, you don't think she realizes that you're going to sleep in her bed either way, you just like the way it smells and how warm it is, it could do with some colour, but it makes you feel safe. To be honest you don't know why you're still looking for a bed, you and Santana both know you don't need one, and you certainly don't want one when you could spend every night with the sexist woman alive. But she's being so cute, and you kind of want to see how much she will beg before you give in.

'Yes I doooo.' You whine back, you can almost feel her glare at the back of your head as you pretend to inspect the prices of the mattresses that all look exactly alike.

'Whyyyy?' Santana groans. 'You've got mine.'

Chuckling softly to yourself you stop and turn on your heels until you are facing her.

'Okay I'll make you a deal.' You say coyly.

'Deal.' Santana states automatically. You quirk your brow and smile.

'You don't know what it is yet!'

Santana rolls her eyes and shrugs. 'Okay tell me.'

'I won't buy a bed, if…' You draw out, watching the way her smile grows at just the mention of you not buying a bed. She doesn't know what's coming next though. 'I get to redecorate your room?'

That smile falls.

'No deal.' She says flatly.

'What? You already said deal!'

'Well I'm taking it back.' She shrugs with a smirk. Oh that is it.

'Fine.'

A man with the Mattress Kingdom name badge walks by and you lift your hand to get his attention. The chubby man happily stops in his tracks and waltzes over to you.

'Excuse me how much is this one?' You ask kindly, flashing your best smile. The man smiles back with an obvious blush and he's about to answer when finally your plan begins to work.

'Get lost tubs.' Santana steps forward into his face, waiting until he gets the hint to leave before turning back to you. Poor guy. 'Fine, you can redecorate our room.'

Santana sighs and crosses her arms over her chest. She turns around in a huff and begins to walk back towards the exit, not realizing that you're still firmly rooted to the ground.

Did she just say _'our'_ room?

'But no pink!' Santana throws over her shoulder.

You smile and let your heart fill with warmth. There will be pink.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Okay so you didn't really end up finding anything pink, well there was a pink piggy bank you saw but it was really big and your arms are already full with bags. You didn't get much, some cushions for her bed, candles, a really pretty plant with white flowers, an alarm clock, andddd you got a surprise also but she will have to wait to see that one. Just things to make it more homey and less…like a cave.

You sigh when you look through the Starbucks you left her at and find she is nowhere to be seen, you should have known she wouldn't listen to you when you asked her to stay here. You didn't want her to come shopping with you because that would totally ruin the surprise!

Sighing again, you pull your phone from your back pocket and you're about to search for her contact when you spot that familiar midnight hair and that Dalton Grammar shirt. Even though you're kind of mad at her for not listening to you, she still makes your heart race whenever you see her, and you're not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

Putting your phone away, you turn around and head back through the entrance and out to the bench Santana is sitting on. You can only see her from behind but you're pretty confident it's her, what are the chances of having two dark haired goddesses in one city?

'Puckerman I don't have any at the moment alright?' You hear the beauty talk quietly into her phone. Yep it's her. 'I think Joe is still dealing okay, call him.' You stop just a couple of metres from her bench. Wait, what? She's still talking to Puck? 'Bye.'

Was he trying to get drugs off her?

She's doesn't have any…well that's good right?

You want to believe that but the words _'at the moment'_ are still flying around your head. Is she going to get more drugs later?

You watch her put away her phone and she looks like she's about to get up to go back inside so you quickly step forward before she can catch you eavesdropping.

'Hey.' You say casually. You don't want her to know you heard that.

'Hey!' Santana shouts awkwardly and stands up super fast. Her eyes are wide and you know she's trying to determine if you heard her on the phone or not. 'Finished?'

'Yep.' You say simply. Santana smiles and looks down to the bags in your hands but you're quick to move them behind your back. 'No peeking!'

'Okay, let's go.' She laughs.

Santana offers to carry some bags as you walk back to the car but you refuse, you don't want her peeking when you're not looking. You thought about bringing up the Puck thing, but you want her to be the one to come to you with the truth, you don't want to always be trying to pull it out of her.

'So I was thinking, you know about everything with your house?' Santana says as she opens the boot and you begin hauling the bags into the back.

The house?

Oh…the house.

'Oh right.'

'You could just like, rent it out to people?' She suggests. 'That way it will be quicker and easier to pay off the mortgage and you have people looking after the house.'

Hmm. That would be easier to pay it off…and you do kind of worry about the house sometimes. You worry if people have broken into it knowing no one is home, you worry if it has started growing mould or if grass is now growing through the carpet. That would be kind of cool though. It would be like a jungle in your house…Like Jumanji!

But do you really want someone you don't know living in your house? Sleeping in your bed, in your parents bed…cooking in the kitchen you and your mom used to cook in…

'I don't really like the idea of strangers living in my home.' You sigh as Santana shuts the boot. 'I'll think about it.'

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

When you get home it's decorating time. Once again you've ordered Santana to a designated area to wait for you to finish, but this time she is actually listening to you and watching tv in the living room like you asked. It doesn't stop her from craning her neck in your direction every time you walk past her with another bag of rubbish. She's probably wondering exactly what it is you're throwing out, looks like she'll just have to wait to see.

It takes you two hours, but it was worth it. The last few minutes you spend putting the finishing touches on. You straighten the covers, lift the blinds, fluff the pillows, light the candles, and because you were determined to put something pink in her room, you get your hot pink nail polish and draw a little sun and a lightning bolt in a heart on her bed head. Corny, but hopefully she likes it. You blow on the paint for a minute or so until it's dry and then you step back to admire your work. Perfect.

You call Santana and instantly you hear racing footsteps through the apartment. You try to hide the smirk playing on your lips as she walks down the hallway like she's walking to her death.

'How bad is it?' She asks. You giggle and quirk your brow at her, watching as her jaw drops. 'Brittany…on a scale of you didn't change a thing to you painted my room pink…how bad is it?'

Biting your bottom lips to hide your smile you bring your index finger up to tap your lips in thought. 'Hmm…define pink?'

Santana's jaw hits the floor.

'…My life is over.' She states quietly, leaning forward to rest her head on the wall. 'Brittany, my room is like my escape okay? You, you can't just –'

Rolling your eyes with a giggle you turn her door handle and open her door. You have to tap Santana's back for her to lift her head and see her room. You see her squint a little and push herself off the wall.

'Oh…' She whispers quietly. You follow her as she slowly walks into her room. The blinds let the gorgeous sunlight in that this room has been missing for months, it spreads splashes of golden light over Santana's perfectly made bed. You kept her black silk covers and her red set of drawers. You watch as her eyes glance over her clean floor (which is grey, just like the living room), the small plant that sits on her windowsill, you don't know what kind it is but it's green with white flowers so you thought it would bring a little life back into her room, the lit vanilla candles you placed on her bedside tables to replace the beer bottles filled with ash, the red cushions you put on her bed to complement her set of drawers, and finally the little red alarm clock that sits on her bedside table so she will actually start waking up on time for things. She misses the little pink drawing you drew but you're sure she will see it later.

You wouldn't really paint Santana's room pink. You kind of like the dark feel of it, it makes you feel like you've found a hiding spot away from the world that only you and Santana know about. But it does make it a bit more homey with the light and the plant.

'Wow…' She breathes.

'I kept all the bits I like.' You say quietly.

'So you like my bed, my tv, and….my drawers?' She asks with a smirk. You nod your head.

'Yep.'

Santana chuckles and shrugs her shoulder with a smile. You're happy she seems to like it. You'd feel really bad if she didn't.

'Oh! Wait you haven't seen the best part!' You shout in excitement. Her surpriseeee.

Santana looks at you weirdly as you take a step back and turn off the light. Oh shit the candles and the blind! Quickly, you try and navigate through her room to shut the blind and blow out all the candles.

'Uh, Britt what are you doing?' She asks curiously.

You blow out the last candle and smile when the room is almost completely dark. Almost.

'Look up.' You smile.

Santana tilts her head at you for a second like maybe this is a trick question, but after a moment she tilts her head backwards and looks to the ceiling.

'Oh shit..'

You lift your eyes up too and glance over the glowing stars on the ceiling. You saw them when you were shopping and you just had to get them, they're exactly what this room needs. Maybe the stars can help Santana remember what it's like to dream.

'Britt, this is so cool.' She smiles.

'I used to have these on my ceiling back home. I'd fall asleep watching the stars every night. Pretty cool.' You say. This kind of reminds you of home, and you're glad you get to share a piece of home with Santana. Maybe one day you can even take her home?

'Thank you Brittany.' She smiles at you. Biting your bottom lip, you smile back. 'Okay. So I was thinking, now that your room is free you could move the rest of your shit in here and use it for dance space, you know so you don't have to practice in the living room all the time. It could be like your own little dance studio?'

You have to bite your bottom lip even harder to stop your smile from spilling off your face. Did she just ask what you think she asked?

'Did you just ask me to move in with you Santana?'

'We're already living together Britt.' She chuckles. You watch as she takes a few slow steps towards you until she can wrap her arms around your neck. Oh god. She's so close. She's smiling that dimples smile and she's leaning in but you can't let her kiss you just yet.

'No kisses until you say it.' You say quickly before her lips touch yours and you're trapped forever.

'What?' She frowns. 'Unfair.'

She tries again but you crane your neck away. Eventually she rolls her eyes in frustration and sighs loudly. 'Will you move in with me Brittany?'

She looks so cute and she said it so quietly you just want to give her a million little kisses, or…you could tease her some more?

'Maybe.' You smirk. Santana's mouth drops open and you laugh.

'Come here.' She says lowly, groping the back of your neck and bringing your lips to hers. Mmm.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Work went by pretty fast tonight. You got to do your solo again so that was cool, you were way less nervous this time and you actually got to move around more instead of spending the whole song trying to find Santana through the light. You asked Kira before the show if she could talk to Santana about going to her apartment after work, when you found them cleaning up after the show you were a little surprised but relieved that Santana actually said yes. Kira sent you a wink when Santana said '_Hey Britt, wanna go to Kira's tonight or are you too tired?' _

Apparently this girl can charm anyone?

Santana followed Kira home in the car and you have to admit, you were all kinds of excited. Kira is going to help you and Santana figure out…whatever it is that you need to figure out, she's going to help you with this, and she obviously likes girls too so she's totally got this, you trust her.

'Drinks?' Kira asks excitedly as she opens her apartment door for you to enter. You follow Santana inside and smile at the cute little apartment. It's smaller than yours which you didn't think was possible but that just makes it feel more homey.

'No, I'm good.' You hear Santana say. That catches your attention. She's not drinking? She loves drinking. Well, you don't know if she loves it, but she's certainly never passed one up before. Maybe this is her really starting to try? You haven't seen her smoke since you asked her to stop. Shit, you haven't even asked her how she's going with that! Argh, terrible friend. Lover?

'Brittany?' Kira asks. You snap your mind back to the present and slowly shake your head.

'Um…No thank you.' You say quietly.

'Boringgg.' Kira sighs dramatically. 'Looks like I'll have to get this party started myself. Take a seat Mama's.'

Kira walks to the Kitchen and opens a cabinet that appears to be for glasses but instead is stocked with different brands of vodka and gins.

You turn your attention to Santana and she mouths _'Mamas?'_ to you. You chuckle and follow her into the living room, which is two metres away. You take a seat on the three seater couch and listen to the clanking of glasses from the kitchen. You want to reach out and take Santana's hand but it might be too early in the evening for that. You don't want to scare her. Patience, just be patient.

'I'm just going to change girls, make yourself comfortable.' Kira says as she walks down the small hallway to the left of the couch. You watch her until she gets to what you assume is her room, she opens her door and jumps back in fright almost instantly.

'Baby!' Kira shouts. 'What's all this? I thought you said you wouldn't be coming home tonight?'

Santana turns her head to look down the hall too and you both watch in confusion as another woman emerges from Kiras room carrying a bouquet of red roses and a box of chocolates. She looks about the same age as Kira, long dark brown hair with lighter highlights, and tan skin. She's wearing black skinny jeans, trainers, and a white shirt. Now you kind of understand why Kira was so happy earlier when she got the message from her girlfriend, she's stunning.

'Well I didn't end up going to the study session with the guys so after class finished I came back here, and I thought we could celebrate you getting your new job!' The brunette cheers.

'Aww thanks babe.' Kira smiles, reaching up on her toes slightly so she can kiss her girlfriends lips. all your worries of Kira stealing Santana away from you kind of vanish when you see her kiss her girlfriend like that. 'Hey I want you to meet my friends from work.'

Kira leads her girlfriend by her hand back down the hallway. You turn back to the centre of the livingroom and fix yourself up awkwardly. You don't know why but you really want this woman to like you.

'This is Santana and Brittany, guys this is my girlfriend Janisha.' Kira announces proudly to you both. Oh wow, Janisha has eyes like Santana.

'Nice to meet you both.' You smile.

'You too kid.' Janisha smiles back. She has a pretty smile too.

'You're together?' You hear Santana ask. It wasn't angry or judgmental, you know she's just curious and to be honest you mentally slap yourself because you forgot to tell her about Kira, but Janisha looks a little shocked at the comment and you wince. You really wanted her to like you. 'Like… a couple?'

'Um yes?' Janisha says slowly. 'Is that a problem?'

'Don't worry babe, she's a little confused.' Kira says sweetly, trying to make light of the situation.

'Confused?' Janisha asks, tilting her head curiously at her girlfriend. Kira winks.

'What?' Santana asks.

'Drinks!' Kira says. 'Come on, one won't kill you Santana.'

You glance back to Santana and you beg with your eyes not to take the drink. You never asked her to stop drinking but you certainly wouldn't mind it if she drank less, and she was doing so well. She ignores you.

'Actually yeah, I could use a drink.' She says. You scrunch your brow at her and wait for her to look at you but she doesn't. She's giving up that easily?

'Now it's a party!' Kira smiles. She takes the flowers and chocolates from her girlfriends hands, giving her a kiss on the cheek in the process, and takes them back to the kitchen.

'Okay well I got some movies for tonight, still want to watch them?' Janisha asks. You're not really sure if she's asking Kira or you so you don't really say anything, plus you're kind of still staring at Santana.

'Sure, what have you got?' Santana asks.

You watch as Janisha riffles through her plastic bag of movies. She pulls out three and flicks through them.

'I thought you weren't drinking?' You say when you turn back to Santana. She shrugs simply, like it's not a big deal.

'I changed my mind.'

'What about you Brittany?' Kira shouts from the kitchen. You look over the couch and she's holding up a glass at you.

'I'm fine thank you.' You say just loud enough for her to here. She swishes her blonde hair back around and goes to work on making her drinks. You're surprised she's not sick of making drinks from tonight, maybe she's just being a good host?

'Okay so I've got…' Janisha begins as she looks over the movies. 'Wrong Turn, The Hills Have Eyes, and for this scaredy cat I got Pretty Woman.' She laughs, looking pointedly at Kira and then back to you and Santana. 'Please tell me you guys like scary movies too?'

You feel the colour drain from your face. Scary movies? The last time you watched a scary movie you cried into Santana's shoulder for God knows how long. But you don't want to look like a scared little kid in front of your new friends. You really want Janisha to like you.

'Uh sorry, I don't like them.' You hear Santana say awkwardly. You glance back to her curiously because you know she loves them, and you know why she said that. How can she make you so mad and so happy all at the same time?

'I knew you would grow on me Santana!' Kira shouts from the kitchen.

'Shut up.' Santana chuckles.

'Pretty woman it is then.' Janisha laughs, you get the feeling she doesn't get to watch her scary movies much. It's sweet that she got a movie she knew her girlfriend would like anyway though. 'Ki there's popcorn in the pantry!'

'On it!' Kira replies.

These two are so cute, they seem so comfortable with each other, so open. You wish you could have that with Santana.

'Sorry for ruining your romantic night….' You say quietly. Janisha looks back at you as she pops the movie into the DVD player.

'Oh it's fine.' She smiles genuinely and nods her head over at Kira. 'I've got plenty more romantic nights to come with that one.'

You smile, that was sweet.

'So tell me about yourself girls, you both work at the club?' Janisha asks.

'Yeah and we live together too.' You say.

'Yeah we're friends.' Santana adds. You look at her as if to say '_really?'_ and she just mouths '_what?'_

You sigh and focus back on Janisha.

'Right.' She says. She's giving you that look, that same adoring look that Kira gave you that says she knows more about your relationship with Santana than you do. 'So how do you find it living together? Do you know eachothers dirty little secrets now?'

Now it's Santana's turn to look at you in panic. You can feel her eyes on you but you don't bother meeting them. Does she really think you would just tell anyone about all her drugs and her drinking and her scars. No.

'I've discovered that Santana doesn't know how to clean her room or do laundry.' You joke lightly.

Janisha chuckles and looks over at her girlfriend. 'Sounds like someone else I know.'

'Hey!' Kira says as she walks back into the living room with a bowl of popcorn. 'I do it sometimes, kind of, not really.' She laughs. 'Popcorn ladies. Babe can you help me with the drinks?'

'Sure.' Janisha says instantly.

When they leave you can't help but follow them with your eyes. They look so happy. People always say stuff like '_aww look at the happy couple'_…but this, they really are happy. It's so easy for them, or it looks easy for them, they don't look like they've struggled a day in their lives with their relationship. But maybe they have? Maybe they've struggled more days than not? Maybe they struggle everyday but they've just found the best way to get through it; with each other. Maybe it can be like that for you and Santana? Hopefully she will see one day that with every struggle she has, you will always be there to kiss her at the end of the day, or for as long as she will have you at least.

You snap out of it when you realise you've been watching Kira and Janisha steal kisses from eachother in the kitchen for the last few minutes without even realizing. Feeling like you shouldn't be watching you shift your eyes back to Santana, and you find her smiling. She's not looking at you, she's looking at them. She's got that lop sided goofy smile that you bet she would deny if you ever said she had it. It makes you smile just watching her.

'That could be us you know?' You say quietly. You watch her eyes slowly drift from the two love birds in the kitchen and back to you. It takes her a moment to realize what you're talking about but when she does, you know.

'Britt…I'm sorry, I've been a bitch tonight.' She sighs.

You breathe out a breath of relief and feel a weight lift off your chest that you didn't even know was there.

'it's okay, come sit closer to me?' You say quietly, patting the space beside you. Santana smiles and moves closer until you can feel her body heat close to yours.

'Thanks for not telling my secrets.' She whispers in your ear. You smile at her.

'Thanks for not picking the scary movie.'

Santana shrugs like it's not a big deal but it is, and God you just really want to kiss her right now.

'Here are your drinks.' Kira says as she rounds the couch. 'Brittany I just got you a coke I hope that's okay.'

'Thank you.' You smile and take the glass from her. Janisha hands Santana hers before slumping into the recliner chair to the right.

'Do you want us to move over?' Santana asks, noticing there is on one seat left for Kira to take and it's on the couch next to her. Kira just giggles and shakes her head.

'Oh no it's fine, I've got a warmer seat.' She smiles before slipping comfortably onto Janishas lap, settling in for the movie. 'Press play babe.'

And just like that, as soon as the movie starts, you watch them slip into their own little world. You're not even sure if they know they're in this world but they are, and you can bet they won't have watched a second of the movie by the time it's over, they're too busy whispering into eachothers ears and staring into turquoise and brown eyes. Life must be great when it's better than a movie.

Santana has been still by your side. It's frustrating because she's so close you can feel her heat but you can't just reach out and touch her, she has to make this move, she has to want it enough, that's the only way she's going to get over her fear. When she wants you more than she cares about fear, that's when you really have her.

'How was class today?' You hear Kira whisper. It's cute that they think they're being quiet.

'Hmm okay, we were learning more about Dispute Resolution and I think next week we're going to start covering Tort Law.' Janisha answers, running her hand soothingly down her girlfriends back.

'Yes, well whatever that is it sounds like fun.' Kira giggles.

You smile and look back to the tv for a moment, but you're not really watching the tv, you're too busy watching Santana from the corner of your eye. You want to know if she's watching them too, if she wishes that for you both too, if she wishes for more.

'What about you?' Janisha asks quietly. 'How was your first shift?'

Kira snuggles further into her girlfriends body and settles her head in the crook of Janisha's neck.

'Mm good, Santana showed me the ropes, I think I'm gonna like it there.' She mumbles a little sleepily.

'That's great.' Janisha smiles, tilting her head to press a kiss into blonde hair.

You watch them for a little longer. How comfortable they are with each other, you wonder how long they have been together?

'Brittany you look kind of cold over there.' You hear Kira say. She's got a subtle smirk on her face and you wonder what she's doing.

'Why don't you get her one of your jackets Ki?' Janisha suggests.

Kira turns her head and gives her girlfriend a look that you can't see. Honestly though, you're not that cold, it's actually kind of warm in here.

'I can't be bothered, and I'm sitting on you so you can't get up either.' Kira says quickly. 'Santana? Why don't you move a little closer and keep Britt warm?'

Santana, who surprisingly has been really into Pretty Woman since it started, finally snaps out of her daze and looks around at the situation. It takes a second for Kiras words to catch up to her but when they do she looks at you.

'Are you cold Britt?' She asks.

You're not cold, but if Santana wants to warm you up…well you can't just say no right?

'Yeah a little..' You whisper.

Your breath catches in your throat as Santana moves closer, where before you could only feel her heat radiating off her body, now you can feel it pressed up against you and around you. She puts an arm around your back and pulls you into her body. You rest your head comfortably on her shoulder and by accident your hand simply falls to rest on her thigh. Santana's body is a little tense, but you hope that will pass eventually.

'Better?' She asks.

'Better.' You smile to yourself, so much better. You glance back over to Kira and she winks at you. Sneaky. You knew there was a reason you liked her so much.

Santana stays stiff for about ten more minutes, you count her breaths because you're getting a little nervous for her too. You don't know when it happens, but for a second you weren't paying attention and she relaxes, and you only notice when you feel her warm hand cover yours on her thigh.

You can't help the smile that spreads across your face when she starts running her thumb slowly over the back of your hand. She does this for a while, and with each stroke you're getting hotter and hotter. Jesus. When you feel her breath on your cheeks and then her lips, you can't take it anymore. You turn your head just in time to catch her lips by surprise. The best part? She didn't even flinch, it was like she knew exactly what you were going to do and you don't know whether you love her or hate her for that…you love her.

'You guys are so cute.' Kira says when you finally pull away from the soft kiss. 'So how has your now 24 hours of being together been?'

You smile and turn back to Santana. 'Santana?'

'I liked it.' She smiles shyly.

'I liked it too.'

'So how long have you guys been together for?' Santana asks. Her cheeks are looking a bit heated so you think maybe she just wants the attention off her for a bit. But you are grateful she asked that question.

'Not long enough.' Kira answers sweetly, giving her girlfriend a kiss on the cheek.

'Hmm technically since we were fourteen, but girlfriends for three years.' Janisha answers.

Fourteen? Wow. You wish you had already found Santana at fourteen, that probably would have made highschool a lot more bearable.

'Wow that's young to like…' Santana begins although you're not even sure she knows where she's going with it.

'Everyone goes at a different pace Santana.' Janisha smies. 'It's never too late to follow your heart.'

'Is it hard?' Santana asks quietly. A part of you thinks you should be worried about these questions she's asking, like maybe she's freaking out on you, but she's here and she's asking the questions you want to know too, so maybe this is a good sign?

'Yeah.' Janisha states honestly. 'It still is some days, but it's easy when she's with me because I can just drown out the assholes and stare at her beautiful face.'

'At the end of the day it's Janisha that's going to be there with me when I fall asleep and there to kiss me when I wake up.' Kira shrugs. 'That's all I care about.'

'Santana's good at cuddles.' You smile and look back to her. God she's so beautiful, how did you get this lucky that she actually likes you, like…likes you enough to want to kiss you. Automatically your eyes slowly glance down to her soft plump lips and you lick your own. '…and kisses.'

'Okay spare us the details!' Kira laughs and those lips you were staring at turn up into a smirk.

'What time is _Devil Wears Prada_ coming home?' You hear Janisha ask. It's the first time tonight you've heard the happiness leave her voice for just a second.

'She should be home late, and she's not that bad.' Kira says, leaning down to peck her lips twice.

'You don't see the way she looks at us when I try to kiss you.' Janisha frowns.

Kira smiles and softly cradles her girlfriends jaw. 'That is because I am too busy with these gorgeous lips.'

You watch them kiss for a moment before turning back to Santana.

'They're cute.' You say.

Santana squeezes your hand once and leans in slowly.

'We're cute.' She says when she's about half way.

'Yes we are.' You agree just before she closes the gap and takes your lips in hers. You can't believe it. She's kissing you, she's kissing you with other people in the room, in someone elses apartment, she's kissing you outside of her room!

Tonight has turned out far better than you could ever have imagined. Kira is a genius. If you weren't too busy kissing the most amazing girl in the world you might actually get up and go hug her.

A moment later, just as Santana's hand comes up to cradle your face, you hear a rattling coming from the apartment door. Santana flinches away from you in fright and you fight the pout that is itching to spread over your lips.

'Oh relax guys that's just my roommate!' Kira says quickly, jumping off her girlfriends lap. 'Shit, she's home early.'

The door closes shut.

'Kira?' You hear an unfamiliar voice ask. The voice itself sounds so sweet but the tone in which she spoke made her seem a little grumpy. Now you feel kind of bad being here, this poor woman just came home from work and she probably just wants to pass out in her own apartment and not have to entertain guests that she doesn't even know.

'Hey! Guys I want you to meet my housemate!' Kira says. You shuffle around on the couch a little bit so you can see the woman and wow…Maybe Kira just likes surrounding herself with really beautiful people? This girl looks like she's from the movies. Medium length blonde hair, a perfectly fitted red skirt with gold stitching, heels to match, a white fitted button shirt with the cuffs folded to her forearms, and emerald green eyes that are looking down on you and Santana like she's known you her whole life. You suddenly feel very self-conscious about the sweats you just threw on before you left the club. 'Santana, Brittany, this is –'

'Quinn.'

_**XXXXXXXXXXX**_

_**Love.**_


	23. Chapter 23

_**Hellooo my lovelies:)**_

_**A couple of things:**_

_**Over 1000 reviews?! What?...wait….what? I used to read fics with heaps of reviews and be like 'wow that's awesome how do they do that?' and now that I am one of those people I've discovered my answer is still the same… 'I have no idea! It just happens!'**_

_**I want to thank you all for being so cool about me taking a bit of time off:) oh and I think more people reviewed wishing me well than the amount of people who reviewed my last chapter! Haha and I'm not offended at all that's awesome! Good to see people have their priorities right:) thanks again and all is well in the world of Sailormoon:)xx**_

_**This point is a very very important point because it is the birthday of a very very important girl today:):) So everyone send lovely thoughts to whenyouhavetoday! Happy birthday hon! Hope you have the most amazing of days filled with Whozits and Whatzits galore!(little mermaid reference) xx**_

_**So I need neww songs for my ipod and I'm lazy, how bout I tell you some of my fav songs and if you decide to review feel free to tell me one of your fav songs? (No Justin Beiber pleaseeee). Deal? Haha. Okay top five fav songs areeee Thinking of you by Katy Perry, wake me up by Avicii, Part of that world – the little mermaid(no judging we all love it), Resolution – Matt Corby, aaaanddd You and I – Ingrid Micahelson. **_

_**That's all, moving on to reviews by some super pretty people:)**_

_**Hfaley: Love mumford and sons! Haha thanks for the reviewww:)**_

_**Maximillion87: aww thank you so much! Get some sleep! Haha**_

_**Mira: thank you honey that was very kind and sweet of you:)xx**_

_**Sienna: 4**__**th**__** time? that's crazy! Haha stop making me blush!**_

_**Caroloveles: love you too;)**_

_**Purple-ketchup: hey thanks for the support:) your name is Quinn? That's crazy! Haha you'll be reading your name a lot in this chapter!**_

_**ILovesnixx: haha well thank you, now go sleep:)xx**_

_**Chipa: you read my minddddd;)**_

_** .java: hey thanks for the review and the love:) enjoy the chapter:)xx**_

_**Iclingtoo: ooh I like how you think, you could be reading into the future…or maybe I'm just playing with you haha you'll have to wait and see! Haha**_

_**Tuxedo Mask: I was wondering if I was ever going to see my tuxedo mask again! Haha thanks for the review:)**_

_**MaryMelo22: I hate Quinntana too so you don't have to worry too much about that:)**_

_**BrittzTana: haha I am evil! Glad you liked the chapter:)xx**_

_**Katiek28: aw I'm glad I made your Monday! Hopefully you like this chapter:):)xx**_

_**Eleonoregy: Bonjour! Haha your English was great! Happy to hear you are liking the fic!xx**_

_**Fruith: aw I am so very happy to hear you are still loving the fic! Hope I can keep it interesting for you haha thank you for the review and I hope you enjoy this chapterrrr**_

_**iOnlyWatchTheStars: terrible at british accents;)**_

_**jjLives: 'Devil child'?...i'd say that's pretty accurate haha**_

_**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**_

'Quinn.'

Your eyes instinctively follow the sound of Santana's broken voice. You don't think you can remember a time you had heard her sound so small, perhaps the first time she said she was sorry, but even then it was a different kind of 'small'. Her voice now doesn't sound like she's afraid of what she's about to say, but it sounds like she's afraid of the person she's saying it to.

But why should she be afraid of this well-manicured woman standing in front of her? The woman wearing a gold chained cross around her neck, and her hair and outfit so perfectly put together that she looks like a school girl scout or something, this woman looks positively sweet. Well, apart from her eyes, they kind of freak you out a bit.

Why should she be afraid of this Quinn woman?

Quinn.

_Quinn._

As in like…_Quinn?_

Your eyes go wide about the same time as the woman herself opens her smirking mouth.

'Santana.' She says confidently. You're so busy squaring your eyes on this woman that when her green eyes shift to yours you feel like you just got slapped in the face and soon find yourself focusing on the floor. White tiles? That would suck. 'Still getting girls drunk to fulfil your fantasies?'

You can feel Santana tense beside you, although she's not touching you anymore, you wonder when she found the time to move…and why she moved? If this is indeed Quinn from her past, then shouldn't she be standing up right now and doing all those Santana things you imagine her doing, like maybe slapping her or yelling at her, or cursing? Why is she just sitting next to you, frozen as a post, and letting Quinn make comments about her personal life? That's not the Santana you know.

'You two know each other?' Janisha asks curiously, sitting up straighter In her chair. You can see her looking between the two and this is the first time since Quinn walked in the door that you take a moment to turn your head and look at Santana's face.

Fear.

The whites of her eyes are whiter than you ever remember seeing them before, you'd say they match her pale skin but she doesn't really look pale, she's still super tan. More like how people say the color has been drained from your face, that's what she looks like. Like she's seen a ghost, a perfectly presented blonde ghost.

'We went to school together.' Quinn answers sweetly. If Santana hadn't told you so much about her already you probably would have fallen for her '_nice girl'_ act. 'Besties for life right Santana?'

Your eyes turn back to Santana and watch the way her throat constricts as she swallows dryly.

'Right.' She says quietly. Oh God you just want to reach out and take her hand but you can see they are firmly planted between her thighs and it would be a bit of a mission to get to them without looking creepy.

'Reunion!' Kira cheers excitedly. You don't think she really gets what's going on here. 'Fuck yeah!'

'Ki, can you help me in the kitchen?' Janisha asks quickly, already beginning to climb out of her recliner without bothering to put the footstand down again.

'Why?' Kira asks.

'Team meeting babe, lets go.' Janisha ushers her from the living room before Kira has a chance to say any more.

'And here I thought I was never going to see you again Santana, or rather hoped.' Quinn draws your attention back to her. The way she's smirking kind of reminds you of Santana, you know she's saying this for her own amusement, she's smart, but perhaps doesn't go around boasting it to everyone. 'Is this your girlfriend?'

You don't even look at Santana, you don't need to, you know what's coming.

'What? No!' Santana gasps. First time you've heard her make that noise before, it sounds kind of funny compared to the husky sensual words that usually leave her mouth. 'She's…she's just my housemate.'

Just my housemate.

Housemate.

There's that word again.

You can feel your heart sinking down further in your chest, threatening to slump down into your stomach, but you're determined not to show the pain on your face.

'Well as long as she's not your roommate, we all know how cozy you like to get with them.' Quinn replies smugly. She makes you mad. She makes you so damn mad and you don't think you've ever felt this way towards anyone ever. You only met her five minutes ago and you already feel like if you never saw her face again for the rest of your life, you would be happy. Mom always said _'never judge a book by it's cover'_ and _'people always have ways to surprise you, let them'_, but this is different. You don't want to get to know Quinn, in fact you don't want to know her at all. But she's part of Santana's life, and because of that, you need to know her.

'I'm Brittany by the way.' You say quickly, reaching out your hand for her to take. She doesn't.

'I know, Kira just introduced us, keep up sweetie.' She winks confidently. You feel like you're sitting back on your apartment couch, watching tv in the dark, and trying to keep your eyes away from the abs of the beautiful Latina you just met that is grabbing a packet of smokes and winking at you to enjoy the show. You feel like you're watching the Santana you met…but with blonde hair and perfect clothes. 'What are you doing in my apartment Santana?'

'I work with Kira, she invited us over.' Santana answers quietly. Why is she being so quiet? Be confident Santana!

'You work in a bar?' Quinn chuckles dryly. 'Well I guess that's what happens when you don't graduate.'

'And what do you do Quinn?' You find yourself saying. You don't like her being so mean to Santana, for some reason she's not sticking up for herself tonight so if she won't stand up for herself, then you will.

'Me?' Quinn asks with a smug smile and raised brow like she was surprised you spoke. 'I'm interning at Vogue magazine and building my label _'The Holy Q'_ with my father's assistance, I'm working on my spring line as we speak.'

You nod your head slowly and keep your guarded stature. You kind of wanted to laugh and chuckle like she did to Santana but uh…that's actually really impressive she's doing that. Damn her that…that..devil woman!

'More like the Unholy Q…' You mutter quietly to yourself.

'What was that blondie?' Quinn voices. The heat rises quickly to your cheeks and you look back down to that tiled white floor to distract yourself. Seriously how many times a week would they have to clean this floor? It seems like it would be an awful hassle.

'Nothing.' You answer quietly.

'Well I hope you girls are staying for a while.' You hear that annoyingly sweet voice enquire. 'I'd love to catch up on old times.'

You look up in hopes to glare at the woman that has so quickly climbed to the top of your _'dislike list' _but instead you're distracted by Janisha and Kira finally coming back from their _'team meeting'. _

'Anyone want another drink?' Kira asks happily, sounding as though a drink would be the perfect solution to this situation. You don't really see how alcohol will be solving anything tonight.

'I'll take another one.' Santana says immediately. You feel a hint of disappointment knowing she's having yet another drink but mostly you just feel relieved that you can start to hear her normal tone come back into her voice.

'Good to see some things don't change.' Quinn comments. You really don't like this woman. 'I'll take a vodka on the rocks Kira.'

You just catch Kira rolling her eyes as she walks back towards the kitchen. She's lucky Quinn didn't see that, for some reason you imagine her growing horns from her head and pulling out a red trident from her handbag at such a gesture.

'So…how do you kids know each other?' Janisha asks hesitantly, leaning against the armrest of the recliner. Poor Janisha, she just wanted a romantic night with her girlfriend but instead she walked into an episode of Jerry Springer, oh well.

You want Santana to explain first because you know if she doesn't then -

'Santana and I went to boarding school together, best friends, roommates.' Quinn begins. You clench your jaw. '…Well, that was until she got herself expelled.'

'Expelled?' Janisha asks. You clench your jaw tighter. You want to reach out your hand again and take Santana's but after that _'housemate'_ comment you know that's the last thing she must want.

'Yeah..' Santana breathes.

You can see Janisha watching Santana like she's waiting for her to explain further, but you know that won't happen. Quinn looks like she's watching her evil plan unfold in front of her very eyes and you just want to wipe that smug look off her chiselled face. You want this awkward silence to disappear so that Santana doesn't feel pressured into explaining what she's not ready to say.

'Why is it that when a door is open, it's ajar, but when a jar is open, it's not a door?' You blurt.

The silence is only filled with the sound of Kira making drinks in the kitchen. Why did you say that? That didn't even make sense. You can see Janisha smiling at you like she's relieved you said something, and you're sure Santana is relieved too. You're not game enough to look at Quinn.

'Doing some community service Santana?' Quinn asks. What is that supposed to mean? Did Santana do that in high school? That's sweet of her.

'What?' Santana asks, scrunching her brow like she has no idea what Quinn is talking about.

Quinn smirks and tilts her head towards you.

'Looking after the disabled.' She answers.

You scrunch your brow in shock just as Santana stands from her position on the couch. She was up and standing slightly in front of you before you even had a chance to process Quinn's words.

'What's your fucking problem Q?' Santana asks sternly. She's back, thank god.

Quinn doesn't lose her grace, instead she takes a confident and challenging step forward, angling her jaw upwards like you've seen Santana do countless times before.

'Babe!' Janisha calls in a panic.

'Coming!' Kira chirps from the kitchen. You can hear her scuttling around the kitchen quickly but you don't pay much attention to that, you're too concentrated on the scene in front of you.

'There's the Santana I remember.' Quinn smirks. 'I have to say, you've kind of downgraded haven't you?'

Her eyes flicker down to meet yours and it's then you realise the weight of her comment. How dare she?! You're not a downgrade from her! Oh well…actually she's really pretty, and smart, and confident…but she's really mean!

'Drinks!' Kira announces just before Santana has a chance to open her mouth. You kinda wanted to hear what Santana would say but you're still thankful for the distraction.

Santana slowly takes the drink from Kiras hand as Quinn takes the other one. Their eyes meet for a moment, and you're not sure why but the contact makes you feel uncomfortable. It wasn't a fleeting glance or polite eye contact…it was one of those silent conversations that you thought only you could have with Santana, but now she's having them with someone else and you can't for the life of you work out what they are saying. Quinn's smiling but yet Santana's face is remaining stoic. You don't know if it's a look of fear, a look of love, of hatred, of heartache, of relief, of curiousity, of regret…you don't know, and it's killing you.

'I have to go to the bathroom…' You say quietly. Honestly you're surprised anyone even heard you, what with all the sexual tension filling the room…

'First door on the left.' Janisha explains. You look up and see she's giving you a sympathetic smile and pointing towards the bathroom. Your heart sinks further. She feels it too.

Wasting no more time you stand from the couch and make fast work of walking by Quinn so you don't have to suffer the smell of her perfume or the presence of her body for a moment longer.

'Brittany!' Santana calls as you head towards the hallway. You pretend not to hear her but she had to have known you did, you don't want her to see the tears beginning to cloud your eyes.

You burst through the bathroom door and shut it tightly behind. Waiting until you hear the lock shut close before you let the tears fall from your eyes. In the last bout of rational thought you let your body slump forward and rest your hands against the bathroom sink, supporting your lifeless weight.

What was that? What the hell was that? That look…

What were they saying to each other?

You sigh loudly as the tears begin to roll off your chin and done the angle of your jaw. You lift a hand to your head and sweep the hair back from your face so it doesn't mix with your tears and get all sticky, but in doing so your eyes catch the mirror and you see yourself. All you can think is how the hell did Santana choose this mess over the perfectly put together girl standing in the living room?

Well, now that you think about it she never really chose you…she just didn't have a shot with Quinn. Would she choose Quinn over you if she had the chance?

Oh god.

'Stop crying, stop crying, stop crying.' You chant quietly to yourself. 'Just stop it…'

You look at yourself in the mirror. Tears smudging the ridiculous amount of makeup you have to put on for the show each night, puffy red eyes, daggy sweats that you put on after your performance, hair messy from all the hairspray and dancing you did tonight…how can Santana love this?

Oh, she doesn't…she never said it…

Damn it.

'Such an idiot.' You mutter as you take the cuff of your hoodie and wipe the bottom of your eyes and cheeks. 'She doesn't even love you, stop crying over her. Stop it.'

You shake out your arms and take a deep breath in, releasing it for as long as possible. Okay you can do this. You're not going to let Quinn beat you.

Swiftly you take the purple wash cloth from the sink and run it under the tap, bringing it to your face to wipe away all the smudged make up and clean your face. That feels better already. Next you grab the hairbrush sitting on the bench top and begin combing through your hair. It's kind of tough because there's so much hairspray in your hair but you can see a difference already.

The end product. Well, you don't look like a homeless stripper anymore…maybe just someone going through the McDonalds drive-thru on a Wednesday night, ordering three meals but only one drink..

It'll do!

You think you could face Quinn again looking like this. So with that thought, you turn back towards the door, take one last breath, and open the door.

Okay so you thought you were ready…but you hadn't prepared yourself for seeing that woman straight away, you thought you would have a few seconds to gather your thoughts as you walked back down the hallway. Nope.

Straight across from the bathroom door is what appears to be Quinn's room. You think this because you see her walking gracefully through the room, placing her handbag on its hook, and taking off her red heels one foot at a time.

Without any intention, you find yourself walking towards her until you are standing in her open doorway and watching her. Look at her going about her business so easily like she's done nothing wrong…

'What's your problem?' You find yourself asking. Your heart does a little skip when she turns around to face you and you realize you actually said that out loud. Shit.

'What's my problem?' Quinn quirks her brow and begins the process of removing all her jewellery. 'Hmm my problem is that it's one in the morning, I just got home from a longggg day at work, and I would like to sleep since I have to be up at five to do it all over again but instead I have an unwelcome adult child I've never met before standing at my door, watching me get changed like a deranged creep, and asking me what my problem is.'

You're kind of glad she's not looking into your eyes right now and focussed on getting changed because if she was you wouldn't be able to keep your cool.

'I meant what's your problem with Santana?' You ask again.

'What are you her guard dog or something?' Quinn sighs. 'Santana and I have history, if you want to know it, perhaps you should ask her why she was expelled.'

'I already know why she was expelled, I know the truth.' You say. 'I know that you're a liar.'

You watch anxiously as Quinn takes off her gold cross necklace and places it gently on her white dressing table, her smirk still firmly in place.

'Fighting words Bambi.' She says slowly, her eyes flicker back to yours and you gulp. Bambi…that reminds you of Santana. 'Be careful.'

'Leave her alone.' You say quickly. It's all you can say. It's all you want to say. You just want her to leave Santana alone, you want her to let her go so that Santana can finally be with you completely.

'Leave her alone?' Quinn laughs. She begins walking towards you and you feel like you should be taking steps backwards but for some reason your brain can't really tell your muscles to move right now, you have no choice but to stare into emerald green eyes and hope to god that you don't pass out. 'Sweetie I've left her alone for five years, I come home tonight and you two are in my apartment, and in my face. So why don't you, leave me alone?' Quinn says, taking one last step until she can grasp onto the door. 'Tell that to Santana too, her staring was amusing in highschool but now it's just pathetic.'

And with that Quinn closes the door in your face, finally you manage to stagger backwards. You want to march back in there and yell at her, you want to tell her to stay out of Santana's life…but she's right. As far as you know Quinn has never once tried to contact Santana, and she didn't even know Santana would be here tonight. In fact it was Santana who tried to speak with her after the whole 'expulsion' thing but she wouldn't talk to her…Maybe the problem here isn't Quinn, but Santana? Santana hasn't moved on…

You can feel those tears coming back again.

Shit.

You turn around and push the door to the bathroom back open, locking yourself inside once again. This time you don't look at yourself in the mirror, you know what you look like, pathetic. Instead you walk forward and sit on the edge of the bath tub. You crouch forward and let your head fall into your hands.

What's happening? What the hell is happening?

Does she still love Quinn? Is that it? Quinn noticed her leering too tonight. Maybe Santana really isn't over her? Maybe that's why she can't say that she loves you…or maybe she just doesn't feel it.

'God..' You sigh into your hands. What have you gotten yourself into? Does Santana even care about you?

Eventually your thoughts escape you and all you can hear is the insistent dripping of the sink tap that you obviously didn't turn off properly when you wet the wash cloth.

Drip.

Drip.

Drip.

Each drop is like a reminder of the time you are spending alone in this bathroom, the time spent away from Santana, the time it is taking Santana to come and check on you…

After the eighty second drop you decide that she's not actually coming to see if you are okay. So without further sulking, you pick yourself up from the tub, you don't look in the mirror, and you walk from the bathroom.

You're surprised to find only Janisha and Kira in the livingroom, cuddled up cutely in their recliner again and watching what looks to be the end of Pretty Woman. You had kind of forgotten you were watching that.

'Hey, are you okay?' Kira asks as you walk into the room, Janisha looks up too.

'Where are they?' You ask quietly. You can't see Santana anywhere, she's not in the kitchen either. You hope that maybe Quinn had decided to go to bed but Janisha's answer suggests otherwise.

'Balcony.' She says softly, pointing to the curtains to the right of the tv. You guess there must be a sliding door behind those curtains that leads to the balcony.

So they're on the balcony together? Right.

You want to be there for Santana, you know she must be going through hell right now, but all you can think about is how mad you are. Why did she move away from you on the couch? Why didn't she follow you to the bathroom? Why didn't she come and check on you? And why the hell is she out on the balcony alone with the one girl she's been trying to forget since highschool?

You consider going out onto the balcony to see what they are doing or talking about, but at the last second you collapse down onto the couch instead. You don't want to deal with either of them right now, they deserve each other.

You can feel Janisha and Kiras eyes on you, probably shocked too that you didn't go out onto the balcony. You don't look at them.

'Quinn was the first girl Santana ever loved.' You explain softly.

'How the fuck could anyone even like her?' Janisha gasps.

'Santana loves you okay Britt?' Kira says gently with a warm smile, it makes you feel a little more at ease. 'I can see it in her eyes.'

You know that was meant as a compliment but all you can think is if she saw the way Santana was looking at Quinn too? The way that Quinn saw her looking at her. She doesn't love you, she would have said it when you said it.

'Then how come she hasn't said it?' You ask.

'It's early days kid, give her time.' Janisha says.

Early days.

'Yeah.' you say quietly. You have only been together for a day afterall. But really you've been together for much longer than that, you know you have. You felt this way about her for…for as long as you can remember and you're sure she would have felt it too at some point. Does she feel it now?

You lift your head when you hear a door open and a figure emerge from the curtains.

'Hey.' Santana says, looking slightly relieved to see your face. Why does she have to be so damn beautiful right now when you're trying to be mad at her?

'I'm going home.' You say calmly, standing from the couch and fixing your outfit.

'Okay, um where'd I put my phone?' Santana says, looking around for her phone.

'You can stay.' You assure her. You don't want to interrupt her evening with Quinn. 'Catch up on old times.'

Santana picks up her phone from the couch and looks at you curiously like she's not sure what you are saying. It's then that you notice the glassy look in her eyes and the waft of smoke that's coming from her mouth. Great. Just what you needed.

'Thanks for having us over guys, maybe next time it can be at our place?' Santana says as she turns back to our hosts.

'Deal.' Janisha agrees happily, probably glad to get away from Quinn for a night.

'Sorry, thanks for coming..' Kira says sadly as she hops off her Girlfriends lap and walks you to the door.

'Bye.' You say in unison with Santana as you walk from the apartment. You don't look back to see the look on Santana's face, you just want to get away from her right now.

'Are you okay?' You hear her ask. You keep walking.

'You smell like smoke.' You say as you press the button for the elevator.

'Fuck.' Santana curses. 'Brittany I had one fucking cigarette, that's nothing!'

'How many have you had since I asked you to stop?' You yell back. You're so mad right now. 'How many?'

There's a silence as you both walk into the elevator. Santana doesn't speak until the doors close.

'I don't know.' She says softly.

Great. How could she go back on her promise so quickly?

'I thought you were going to try Santana!' You say, folding your arms across your chest and leaning against the elevator wall.

'I did fucking try Brittany!' Santana yells back. 'Quitting isn't easy!'

You roll your eyes and pull your phone from your pocket. You're not getting in the car with her when she's like this.

'I read that if you go to a sauna three days in a row you will sweat out all the nicotine making it easier to quit.' You say. 'Since you're_ trying_, maybe you should_ try_ that.'

'What are you doing?' She asks as you dial the number for a cab.

'Calling a cab.' You say.

'Why?' Santana snaps. 'Brittany I had two fucking drinks, I can drive.'

'Yeah it's the other stuff you've taken that scares me.' You mumble before bringing your phone to your ear.

'What is that supposed to mean?' Santana asks sternly. You don't answer. She knows what it means. You can hear the line connecting to the cab service.

'Brittany answer me!' She yells, lunging forward and snatching the phone from your hand. What the hell?

You're so mad you finally get the courage to turn around and look her in the eyes. For once those deep brown eyes don't affect you like they normally would.

'It means I can see the way your eyes are already glazed over yet you've only had two drinks!' You argue.

You can see Santana work out your thoughts before your eyes. She knows you know. She knows she's in the wrong. But she's stubborn.

'It's fine Brittany, look I can walk in a straight line.' She says, walking one foot in front of the other across the width of the elevator with her arms out wide like she's walking a tightrope or something. 'Let's go home okay?'

'What did you and Quinn talk about?' You ask, ignoring her question.

'We didn't do a lot of talking.' Santana answers after a moment. You raise your eyebrows at her and watch her eyes go wide. 'No, not like that! Uh, we just, yeah we never really talked a lot in high school, we just kind of got each other you know? Never needed to say much to know what the other was thinking.'

'Are you kidding me Santana?' You sigh loudly. You can't believe this, she had a moment alone with Quinn after all this time and she spent it not talking? 'Haven't you been waiting years for a moment to ask Quinn why she did all that to you? why she lied? Why she got you expelled?'

'No, actually I've pretty much been dreading the day I see her face again.' She mumbles.

'What happened to the Santana I first met?' You probe. 'The cocky girl that didn't care what anyone else thought of her?'

The elevator grows silent, and you look at Santana as she shrugs her shoulder slowly.

'You happened.' She says. It takes everything in you not to let those words affect you, but they do. God, how does she do that so easily? 'Look Britt, you didn't know me in school, Quinn…She's always had something over me, always will probably.'

'You can change that, I'll help you.' You say gently. Quinn doesn't need to hold anything over her anymore, she needs to let her go. You reach forward to grab her hand but she snatches it back to her chest like you were about to burn her or something.

'No, this has nothing to fucking do with you okay?' Santana says. 'This is my life, not yours. Stop trying to fix me.'

Nothing to fucking do with you.

My life.

Not yours.

Stop trying to fix me.

Alright.

You can see the regret on Santana's face but you know she's not going to take it back anytime soon. The elevator dings, the doors open, and you calmly walk out.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

The whole car ride home neither of you spoke. You can feel the tension in the air but to be honest you don't even care, you don't feel the need to fill the awkward silence, you're sick of trying, Santana can be the one to fill it if she feels the need to.

When you get into bed it's much the same. Silence. Santana was quick to change and get into bed, so she just patiently waited as you potted around the room and changed out of your sweats, folding them carefully and putting them away in the drawers. You're determined to keep her room clean._ 'Our' _room?

When you've stripped down to a tank top and panties you turn off the light and crawl onto your side of the bed. When you turn over onto your back and find the stars on the ceiling you feel a little bit of that hurt drift away. Just a bit. It reminds you of home, and that warms your heart.

'That's cute, even if it is pink.'

You turn your head and see that Santana is tracing the outline of your sun and lightning drawing with her fingertips, a soft smile on her lips. You know she's trying to lighten the mood, but you wish she wouldn't. You turn your head back so you can look up at the stars. The stars you used to look at as a kid, the ones that made you feel safe, the ones that let you dream of all the things you could be when you grew up. A dancer, an actress, a vet, an astronomer, a butterfly…you spent so many nights looking at your ceiling and dreaming of what life could bring you. Now looking up at these stars, you know you've already grown up, one of your dreams came true, but a whole lot of stuff happened that you hadn't planned on. Your parents dying would be one of them, falling in love with a girl that won't love you back would be another…

You wish you could go back to being a kid again. Everything was so simple. All you had to do was your homework and then after that you could dream all you want.

'Britt, don't cry, I'm so so sorry.' Santana says softly, and you hear her shuffle along the bed to get closer to you. You didn't even realize you had been crying, guess you were sort of used to it after tonight. 'Brittany what do you need me to do? I'll do anything.' You feel the tears really start to coat your cheeks now. You squeeze your eyes shut as all the stars are just turning into one big blob. 'What do you need?'

'I need to go h-home.' You choke.

A warm hand reaches out to brush up and down your arm and you can smell that familiar vanilla and cinnamon scent that you love clouding your senses.

'Home? As in Lima?' Santana questions hesitantly. You know she doesn't want to go back there. It has her family, her school, everything she has been running away from. But maybe that's exactly what she needs, and right now going home is exactly what you need. 'Britt…'

'Anything right?' You ask through shaky breaths. She said she would do anything. This is what you need.

She pauses for a moment, and for a moment you think she might say no, and you don't care, you're going home with or without her.

'Yeah…okay.' She breathes softly and a moment later you feel soft lips press to your wet cheeks. Thank god. 'Let's go home.'

_**XXXXXXXX**_

_**Love youuuu:)**_

_**Ps that's not the end of Quinn…just FYI**_


	24. Chapter 24

Hey FYI updated yesterday but it's under chapter 23. Awkward haha thanks to the reviewer that let me know! :p


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